The Beginning of Never

by O. E. Boroni

  "Yes, why?"

  "Nothing," I said, but couldn’t stop the sheepish smile that found its way to my face. He understood then.

  "Your little lie about us seems to hold," he said.

  I smiled shyly at him, while he just shook his head.

  "Your dad didn't get remarried?"

  "No, he never wanted to. Not after her, and it’s scared me in a way.” He turned his face so that he could meet my eyes. “I feel like I’m going to make the same mistake; fall for someone so deeply that I don’t recover from it.”

  “That’s not a bad thing,” I said, but he disagreed.

  “It is, because if it goes south you can literally not be able to function. And from what I’ve seen so far, that’s almost always the case. I don’t want to ever get to that point where I have no control over myself in that way; it terrifies the shit out of me.”

  “Well, you do have a point, but I still believe you can choose who you give that kind of power to.”

  “Maybe, but that’s the thing; everyone is an angel right now. But what about ten years down the line when life is not as sweet anymore?”

  “Well, that’s the big question, and how do you know that you won’t be the one to flip out?”

  “I don’t, but I’ve come to trust myself enough to know what I will and will not do. And like my dad, if I ever come to the point where I promise my heart to someone, I’d never want to be able recover from that.”

  “So in other words you don’t want to be as unlucky as he was.”

  “Exactly.” He said and it made me chuckle.

  “My dad’s relationship with my mom scared me too,’ I said. “Especially since that didn’t end well. So sometimes I think about it and I get really scared, but then there’s also a solution to the whole mess.”

  “Really? And what is it?”

  “Don’t get married,” I said, sounding like a game show host announcing a million dollar win.

  He chuckled. “So you don’t plan to get married?”

  “I hope I do, I’m just not planning for it. If it does happen, it happens and if it doesn’t, oh well. It’s not a big deal.”

  He took a moment to consider what I’d said but when it didn’t look like he was going to share what he thought about it, I nudged him so that I could get a response.

  “So, what do you think?”

  “I don’t know,” he said. “I guess I’ve never really thought about it, because even though it became bad, I did see it when it was good. I don’t know if I want to miss out on that.”

  “Well, I never saw that, and the parts I did see, I’m more than ready to miss out on.”

  “I understand,” he said and ruffled my hair. I playfully slapped his hand away.

  "Do you want to take a swim?" he asked, but before I could answer he was already on his feet and taking off his shorts. I immediately turned away at the glimpse of his dark boxer briefs, a low heat spreading rapidly across my cheeks.

  Lowering himself, he slipped in one foot after the other before finally letting his whole body go in. Ducking his head to completely submerge himself in the water, he came up a few seconds later and shook the water off his face.

  "Come on," he said to me as he ran his fingers through his hair. And although I was tempted, I shook my head, content to just watch.

  “I’ll pass. If I want a swim I’ll go to the sports complex.”

  "Come on," he urged. “Why swim there when you can swim here?”

  “Because I don’t know what’s in this water, and isn’t it cold?”

  “It’s not, and it’ll only be for a few minutes.”

  I shook my head again but he reached me, and began to tug on my shirt.

  "Nathan, no!" I said, but only had time to gasp when he suddenly grabbed my legs and pulled me to the edge of the rock. With his arm behind my knee and the other around my waist, he lifted me up and out into the water. I screamed as I hovered over the water, holding onto his neck and pleading for him to take me back.

  Laughing at how hysteric I’d gotten, he lowered me just enough to wet the back of my shorts before he finally complied, and took me back. As soon as he settled me back on the rock, he swam away before I could attack him. I watched him go and it wasn’t long before I began to feel the chill of being left alone.

  After taking a few more minutes to make up my mind, I stood to take my shorts off but left my shirt on. I tested the water with my hands and then feet, before eventually slipping in as slowly as I could. But in the end, my efforts did little to dull the bite of the cold water as it came up to cover my waist. However, I quickly adjusted to the temperature and began to move further out so that I could search for him.

  “Nathan!" I yelled, when a few seconds later, I’d still not sighted him. Still a little paranoid with what could be lurking underwater, I moved as quickly as I could and was about to turn back when he called out to me. I followed his voice, swimming a little further out before I eventually saw him studying something against a rock. He turned when he heard me and with a broad smile, disappeared underwater and towards me. He came back up when he reached me but his face was just a few inches away from mine; I forgot to breathe.

  "You wore your shirt in?" he asked and I nodded shyly. I saw him reach down but before I understood what his aim was, his hand was already on my thigh. I reacted immediately.

  "Hey!" I shrieked as I slapped water in his face to get him to move away. He ran his palm over his face to clear it.

  "Would you relax?" he said, amused. "I was just checking."

  "Well don't," I said. “Ask me instead.”

  “Okay,” he said, but since he still looked amused by my reaction, I moved closer to him and without any warning, reached down to touch his thigh too. He moved back.

  "Hey!" he protested. A laugh escaped from my lips.

  "See." I gloated, but when he started coming towards me, I turned and around and swam away.

  It didn’t take any time at all for him to catch up with me and when he did, he grabbed a hold of my legs, forcing me to stop. I laughed as he turned me around but was surprised when he lowered himself to wrap his arms around my knees, and lift me up till only a part of my legs were covered by the water. I squealed excitedly as he moved with me to a deeper part of the stream and then he let go, sending me through the water with a loud splash.

  I came up laughing and without thinking, threw my arms around him while his automatically went around my waist. Seconds of pure delight passed before I realized how we were. I started to pull away but he held me to him, and with his free hand, brushed the hair out of my face. Moments passed and soon our heads were inching closer together, our breathing ragged.

  But at the last moment, he lowered his head and rested it against my forehead. I was disappointed, but apparently a little more than I thought I would be because before I could stop myself, I slanted my head and placed a small peck on his lips.

  Immediately I swam away, not even waiting to see his reaction and as I lifted myself out of the water, it felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest. I quickly picked up my shorts, and headed back to the blanket.

  He followed shortly after, his shorts now back on and his shirt in his hand, but I avoided his gaze. I was now seated on the blanket and finger-combing the tangles out of my hair, but all I could focus on was the picture in my head of what I had just stupidly done.

  “Oh my God,” I cried under my breath. “Lenora what did you just do?”

  “Here,” he said when he reached me, and I looked up to see that he was offering me his jumper. I declined for absolutely no reason which was incredibly stupid of me because I was shivering from my damp shirt.

  “Take it off.” he insisted, and dropped the jumper beside me. With a sigh, I pulled the shirt over my head and handed it over to him. I quickly put his jumper on and watched as he left to spread the shirt on a small rock, not too far away from us.

  “What about you?” I asked, when he returned.

  “I�
��m fine,” he said and took my hand to pull me up.

  It brought me closer to him than was appropriate but in my effort to avoid his eyes, my gaze became involuntarily glued to his chest. And then at the vein that throbbed on the edge of his bicep. Only when he cleared his throat to get my attention did I realize that I’d been staring for longer than I had thought.

  With a gasp, I started to babble an apology and immediately turned away, but he held my shoulders and turned me right back.

  “This way,” he said. He then bent down to retrieve a Canon camera from his backpack which he slung over his shoulder. “I found something on Tuesday.”

  “Really?” I said. “What?”

  “Be Patient,” he teased and it made me smile. However, I still felt so embarrassed by all the ways that I’d managed to effortlessly fool myself within the last thirty minutes.

  He led me through barely visible paths, and the thick green scenery of huge trees and countless plants. The canopies of the taller trees did an excellent job of almost completely shielding the sunlight, so when the rustling that constantly sounded around us continued to drive me even closer to him in fear, he eventually noticed and took my hand in his.

  My hand burned from the feel of his hand in mine, and when I looked down my arm, I wasn’t surprised to see that it was covered in goose pimples. His action revealed the care for me that he had in his heart, and it made me feel so insanely happy.

  After walking for quite a while, I started to get an inkling of where he was taking me. At first, I heard the rushing sound from far away but as we continued on, it gradually became louder. Excited, I started to softly bounce on my feet, but he tightened his hold on my hand and pulled me along.

  “How did you find it?” I asked.

  “You’re ruining the surprise; at least pretend you don’t know,” he said. But I continued bugging him just for the fun of it, until the deafening roar of the water dimmed out my voice.

  Carefully, we headed up a small rocky incline and when we got to the top, the sight that I met completely took my breath away. A powerful cascade of silvery white water rushed down rocky outcrops, and plunged majestically into a calm pool. Nathan stilled my hand to stop me from going any further, but from where I stood I could see the mists as they rose up and shadowed the rocks, as well as the moss and wildflowers that surrounded the entire waterfall.

  It wasn’t huge but it was powerful, and when I saw the lily pads with white and pink flowers, anchored far off to the opposite ends of the calm pool and close to the banks, I felt the urge to shout out my joy. This had to be heaven, surely.

  I glanced back at Nathan, my eyes bright with awe and appreciation. He understood, and sent back a soft smile.

  “Thank you,” I said and hurried over to throw myself in his arms.

  He caught me. “You’re welcome,” he said with a small laugh, and leaned slightly away to look into my eyes. As he softly stroked my cheek with the back of his fingers, I saw the complete admiration for me that shone in his eyes; I threw myself back into his arms.

  He held me as tightly as he could and so did I. My heart was melting inside my chest and at that moment, I didn’t want to be anywhere else or with anyone else in the entire world. The moment was consuming and priceless, and one that I knew I’d never forget.

  “Do you want to take some pictures?” he asked, after we’d stayed like that for a few seconds.

  I nodded, and released him so that he could use his camera. He took some of the scenery first while I continued to stare at the waterfall until he came to get me. He led me to a high rock, and after making sure I was steady, started to click away.

  Spreading my arms, I threw my head backwards and wanted to yell out the overwhelming joy I felt, but the roar of the waterfall would have overpowered it so I didn’t bother. In as long as I could remember, and especially in the last three years, nothing had made me feel like this, and I wanted to remember every moment of it.

  Nathan continued clicking away as I struck comical poses and made funny faces at his camera from where I stood. Eventually, I moved towards him but he kept clicking until I pulled on his arm to let me take some photos of him. He nodded, but kept on taking random shots even as I complained.

  I was really starting to get uncomfortable so I reached out to take the camera from him, but he raised it up in the air and out of my reach. Grabbing one of my hands, he whirled me around to fall against him and I happily did, a high-pitched squeal escaping my lips.

  He positioned his arm and then took a shot of us together, surrounded by the beautiful waterfall, trees and wildflowers; I was leaning against his bare chest, my grin ridiculously wide and eyes ablaze with joy. His arm was around my waist and as I turned sideways to glance at him, I saw that he too had a wild grin on his face.

  He pressed the shutter button on the camera, and that memory was captured forever. It was a magical moment, and I would never forget it.

  « CHAPTER 15 »

  We arrived back at school almost two hours later. With a smile, he said goodbye before heading to his house while I headed over to the dining hall. He wasn’t going to come in for dinner today and when I arrived at the hall to meet it already filled, I wished that I could skip it like he had. But I was way too hungry so I ate as quickly as I could, and then went straight to my room.

  I was exhausted when I got in so after a quick shower, got into bed so that I could fall asleep. However, I couldn’t stop replaying the scenes from the stream over and over in my mind, especially when I’d purposely complained of being tired and he’d piggybacked me for a few minutes as we’d returned to the clearing.

  It had been amazing, and as I continued to reminisce over it, it brought the most powerful of emotions coursing through my body. I hugged myself underneath the covers feeling the overwhelming warmth and drugging thrill that I still felt from the day and from him. I knew I was digging a very dangerous hole for myself but at that point I didn't mind at all. The world was taking me on a ride and it was more than what I could have ever imagined.

  He left me a message online the next afternoon saying that I was to bring my test materials to dinner that evening, and I thought him insane for two reasons; a) that he would for even a second, consider the idea of us sitting together with the entire school's population watching.

  And b), that I would be willing to do any studying when I was supposed to be eating. Nevertheless, I indulged him and took my note book with me.

  However I was a little late, so I had to go further down the hall before I could find a vacant seat. To my annoyance, the only one that I could settle for was so far away from the front of the hall, that I could barely see him. I was worried that he would think that I’d skipped dinner because I was so impossible to spot out, but that wasn’t enough to make me do anything stupid- like go over to his table to announce myself.

  So I stayed put, but grew more depressed when I realized that this part of the hall didn’t even get their food from the same buffet counter as his did. Here, I was surrounded by first and second years shooting petty insults at each other, and laughing too loudly. They were still too young to be self-conscious about anything so more than once, I caught the nauseating sight of mashed food in their mouths.

  I was moving the creole rice around my plate, and wondering when this nightmare was going to end when a boy came up to me. He was small, and bore a similarity in appearance to all the others beside, so I knew immediately that he was in his first year.

  “Here, this is for you.” he said shyly, and handed a folded note to me. I took it from him but before I could ask him what it was about, he turned around and took off.

  I opened it and instantly recognized Nathan’s scribbly handwriting. It read:

  Nora…

  You just missed James singing Kesha’s ‘Tik tok’ song- It was disturbing,

  And, remember to wait a few minutes after dinner. James will come get you.

  Instantly a laugh escaped me, startling the people on my table who
had probably since concluded that I was mute. From then on, I couldn’t stop imagining how James would have sounded and looked, while singing the song. I wished I had been there to watch.

  As I reread the note again, my heart swelled with the sweet ache that came from knowing that he knew exactly where I was seated, and had taken the trouble to send me the note.

  Suddenly I regained my appetite and hurried through my meal, anticipating the hour when dinner would be over and everyone would start leaving. Of course most of the first years around me left as soon as they were done so in no time at all, it became obvious that I was still there for some other reason.

  The entrance of the hall however, was still filled with seniors whom had now come to value social relationships, over the video games and social activities that were no doubt waiting for the younger students back in their houses.

  It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes after the majority of the seats around me had been vacated, but being there alone and waiting, made it feel like forever. I was just about to get up and go over to Nathan’s table when I saw James heading towards me with a huge smile on his face. I let out a sigh of relief.

  “Hi.” He said when he reached me.

  “Hey” I responded, and got up to face him.

  “So, I hope you’re excited.”

  My smile waned. “About what?”

  “The library club.” He replied, with a look on his face that showed that my question was unexpected. “We have our session in the library now. Alex said you loved reading and wanted to come along.”

  “Um, isn’t the library closed by now?”

  He started to laugh, until he saw my face and realized that I wasn’t joking. “Please tell me you know that when you guys have prep in your rooms, fifth and sixth years are allowed to have theirs in the library – until 11pm even.”

  “You’re kidding!”

  “How long have you been here again?” he asked, and turned around so that we could start walking towards the entrance of the hall.

  “Oh please.” I scoffed. “How am I supposed to know that when we’re not even allowed to stay up till then?”