Again for the First Time

by Raven St. Pierre

  The sound of my panties being ripped filled the air. With another tug, they were completely torn at the hip, no longer separating me from him. Luke buried his face between my legs and my eyes slammed shut. Despite the short time we’d held out for this, it felt like I’d been waiting for years.

  He had me yelling out into the quiet room and I couldn’t seem to stop. If I wasn’t saying his name, I was either cursing or begging for more. He gripped my hips firmly in his hands, feasting on me for a few moments longer before returning to my neck where soft bites were placed just like I’d fantasized. With my thighs encasing his hips, he moaned against my mouth. Seconds later, the temperature around us skyrocketed.

  He spoke, dragging his lips down the side of my neck. “I want you.”

  I wanted him, too, badly.

  Before I could respond, all thoughts were extracted from my mind in a vacuum of pure, unadulterated lust. My view shifted rapidly from wall to ceiling when I was snatched to the edge of the couch by my waist. I stared down at Luke as he covered my thighs with kisses—hot and sensual.

  I found myself growing impatient as he continued to tease. Was he making me wait on purpose? Giving me a dose of my own medicine? I loved and hated it all at the same time. The silken, wetness of his tongue danced delicately over my clit once again and I couldn’t take it anymore. That was about all I could stand. Reaching a hand between my legs, my fingers came to rest on the back of Luke’s head.

  “Please,” I whimpered, hoping he’d sense the desperation in my tone and offer me something other than foreplay. I was beyond that now, ready for more, but what the hell? He had me begging…

  I now had his undivided attention, and seconds later I was released from his grasp. Luke stood to his feet and I watched with immense satisfaction as he dropped his jeans the rest of the way and stepped out of them completely. Once he was nude, I grabbed his hand and brought him to me right away. One corner of his mouth hitched upward into a smile and he finally gave me what I wanted, what I needed.

  Each and every thrust came with the sensation of a small orgasm, leaving me very curious about what the real thing would feel like. I watched him on top of me, eyes clenched shut, brow tense. I gripped him in my hands and found myself never wanting to let go. It struck me at this moment that the man making love to me wasn’t just some guy who’d waited the allotted period of time and managed to convince me that it was okay to let my guard down. This was my husband, the first man I’d been with who actually deserved what he was being given—me. This one was mine. I wouldn’t have to share him with someone else, wouldn’t have to wonder if he was gonna move on now that he’d gotten what he wanted.

  I pulled him down close to me and the side of my face warmed with a tender kiss.

  “I’m trying not to come, but… you feel so good,” he whispered against my neck. His movements became slower, deeper, and more purposeful. The thought of him coming, releasing inside me, or on me, or wherever he wanted, made my whole body tingle with excitement. I imagined it and I started coming without warning. I quaked and writhed beneath him as I pressed my fists against his chest until the feeling left me.

  His movements quickened even more, and as soon as I saw that look on his face, the one that let me know he was getting ready to lose it too, I pushed him off of me and let him roll onto the couch on his back in my place. He watched curiously as I got down on my knees and drew him into my mouth, tasting my own sticky wetness on his skin. I didn’t care, which turned him on even more.

  I sucked and licked until he couldn’t take it anymore.

  “I’m coming,” he said breathlessly, maybe to warn me, but I didn’t back away, keeping my eyes focused on his face as he released in my mouth. In the midst of, he stared down at me and his brow creased when his pleasure reached its peak. I let him slip from between my lips when he finished, holding his erection in my hand as it gently pulsated in rhythm with his heartbeat. He stared at me with amazement in those beautiful green eyes of his, panting with a smile on his face.

  After taking a moment to catch his breath, Luke sat up and then helped me to my feet. My panties were mangled and hanging halfway down my leg. There was no salvaging them, so I tossed them onto the coffee table.

  “Lay with me,” Luke beckoned.

  I blew out the candles and went back to the couch, doing as I’d been asked. His hand was hot against my back as our naked bodies slowly cooled from our tryst. I couldn’t believe I gave in, and I especially couldn’t believe I went down on him. A smile touched my lips at the thought of the impulsive moment. I at least should’ve saved that for later, but… he made me do things, feel things I hadn’t felt before. No one else had ever broken me down this quickly. Ever.

  “That was incredible,” he said softly as he touched his lips to my forehead.

  I let my eyes drift closed while he held me tight and rubbed his hands over my skin. His emotions were so powerful, strong enough that I could feel them when he touched me. This felt so different. Instinctively, I leaned into Luke a little more.

  The storm had passed and all was calm again, including me. I didn’t realize how much I’d been struggling to avoid this, to avoid feeling so much for him. In the end, it was easier to give in completely, in every way possible. There was sweet relief in the surrender and I relished in it with no regret.

  My fingers ran a slow circle over Luke’s chest as a thought entered my mind. “What time do you have to be to the church tomorrow?” I asked, suddenly remembering that we had a wedding to attend for his brother.

  Luke was thoughtful. “It starts at noon, so I have to get there by eleven. But first I need to pick my tux up from the cleaners, which means I gotta leave out about ten.”

  “We should get to bed now, then.” I moved to get up when something else dawned on me. I’d been so quick to invite myself to the event, never considering the fact that maybe he’d think it best if I didn’t attend. I mean, his parents would be there. Maybe he wanted to wait to bring me around when things were smoothed over with them. I could respect that.

  “Well, wait. I guess I kind of invited myself,” I said shyly, feeling a flash of heat across my face when I continued. “Would you prefer to go alone? I mean…”

  Luke yawned again but shook his head with an incredulous look on his face, shutting me up almost immediately. “Of course I want you there, Lissette. You’re my wife,” he answered, kissing my face twice when he finished speaking.

  I liked the sound of that—his wife.

  Slowly, I lifted and stood up waiting for him to follow me to the bedroom. While we made our way down the hall, his fingers found mine in the darkness as I listened to the off-synch rhythm of our bare feet padding against the wooden floor. We climbed into bed where Luke immediately pulled me to him beneath the sheet and I felt like this evening together had brought us so much closer. The bond we’d already formed was intense, but I knew it would only get deeper as time wore on… as the years wore on.

  *****

  I felt his lips before hearing his voice. “Good morning, beautiful.”

  My eyes flitted open to find Luke hovering over me, half-naked, wearing a smile. He smelled of soap and toothpaste, letting me know he’d just finished showering. Not to mention, only a towel covered him from the waist down.

  “Morning,” I finally said back, stifling a yawn as I eyed his freshly trimmed beard. “What time is it?”

  He moved from over me and picked up his phone from the dresser to check. “8:45.”

  My eyes widened and I sat straight up. “What? Why’d you let me sleep so late? I have to shower, do something to my hair, find something to wear.” I hopped out of bed and then went straight to my closet.

  “Relax,” Luke said, sounding way more calm than I felt. “You’ve got time.”

  Easy for you to say, I thought to myself. All guys had to do was shave and shower and they come out looking like a million bucks. It took a little more effort than that for me. It’d been my plan to find something to
wear the night before, but I hadn’t expected for Luke to come back so early, hadn’t expected for our evening together to take the turn it did either. Now I was left with no time and nothing to wear. Everything I thought of was either the wrong color, not dressy enough, or was in the laundry. When I sighed, Luke turned to see what the problem was.

  “What’s up?”

  Frustration set in fast, not with him, just with the time constraint. When I sat on the edge of the bed instead of answering, Luke came and sat beside me. The truth was, it mattered that I looked good today. His parents and I had already gotten off on the wrong foot. They hated the idea of Luke and I jumping into this headfirst and I couldn’t totally blame them. No, dressing nice wasn’t going to fix or change any of this, but it’d make me feel better, give me more confidence walking into a situation where I’d be forced to face them. Bottom line? I just wanted today to be a good day, but already, at the first sign of stress, a pain hit my side. It was faint, but I felt it. Stress and anxiety always caused my condition to flare. Maybe not right away, but it was almost inevitable, reminding me that I needed to pack my meds in my purse.

  When I stood from the bed abruptly, Luke followed me with his eyes as I walked back toward my closet and snatched my only available, semi-suitable dress off the hanger. It was fuchsia with black polka dots, banded in at the waist with a black belt. It wasn’t my favorite, but I held it up and had a look at myself in the mirror. In my opinion, the color was loud and it was a bit short for this occasion, falling just about mid-thigh, but I was too pressed for time to keep searching.

  Luke came and stood behind me in the mirror, observing the garment as well. It was hard to tell what he was thinking. When I assumed it wasn’t anything nice, I shut down. “I don’t think I’m going,” I announced.

  “What? Why not?”

  I looked at the dress and then back at him. “Because if I do, this is all I have to wear.”

  He examined the dress more closely, feeling the material, eyeing the length. Waiting, I assumed the worst. I tossed it to the chest-of-drawers and fell face-first on the bed with a groan. I frowned and protested when Luke took my hand and pulled me back to my feet. He grabbed the dress again.

  “It’s nice, Lissette. I’m serious.” He stood behind me at the mirror again and rested his hands on my hips. “I have a hard time believing anything could look bad on this body, though.” He kissed the side of my neck and looked back at my reflection.

  I shot him a look that let him know I wasn’t buying it. “You have to say that kind of stuff. It doesn’t count.”

  He smiled at the statement. “I’m not just saying it. The belt looks good with it and I’m sure you have some nice black shoes and a purse. You can make it work.” He kissed my cheek, smiled, and then walked back into the bathroom as if he’d just solved my problem.

  I stood there in the full-length mirror and held the dress up to me, wearing a very dissatisfied look on my face. In my head, all I could think of was that I’d be there in front of all those people, Luke’s entire family, looking a hot mess.

  But I’d go. For him.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Luke

  As I paced the floor of Lissette’s living room, I went ahead and admitted to myself that I was just a tad bit worked up about facing my parents today. They hadn’t even so much as called since I made the announcement Wednesday. According to Matt, they weren’t necessarily angry; concerned was the word they used. And without even talking to them, I knew why. Aside from me bringing home a complete and total stranger, and aside from me then telling my family of my plans to make her my wife, things I’d been through these past couple years had them watching me like a hawk already. To them, this marriage was probably a cry for help, giving them reason to implement their ‘tough love’ tactics. That was just a fancy way saying that they’d stop talking to me until I saw things their way. However, I knew that’d never happen. They’d just have to learn to accept my decision.

  Lissette stepped out of the bedroom and interrupted my worrisome thoughts just as I was checking my watch. Already, we were about fifteen minutes behind schedule and I still needed to pick up my tux from the cleaners. But when I saw her I stopped pacing, stopped thinking, stopped worrying about how my mother and father would respond… and just stared. Looking as good as she did, standing there pouting her full, glossed lips, she was about to give every woman at this wedding a run for her money—including the bride. She looked good. Better than good. The dress hit her about halfway down her shapely thighs, showing off her curves. She threw on black hoop earrings, black bracelets—those metal ones that make a whole bunch of noise—and a long, black necklace that lodged itself between her breasts. Lucky necklace. Her heels were ridiculously high, but she sauntered in with grace and elegance. I was right; she could make anything look good. I licked my lips and rubbed my hand over my chin.

  Maybe we could stand to be just a little bit later. My eyes instinctively shifted to the bedroom, thinking of how good she felt the night before.

  “Well, I’m ready, I guess,” she said with a solemn expression, one that confused the hell out of me. She still seemed down, which was hard to understand as I took in the sight of her.

  “You look….” I stopped to check her out again, unable to ignore the way she made my heart race. “…absolutely gorgeous.”

  Her cheeks hinted at a twinge of pink beneath their golden-brown color. Looking at the tantalizing contrast of her small waist leading into the swell of her hips, I wanted to grab them and just lay my face—

  “Ready?” She asked, tearing me away from my fantasy. For a second, I thought I tasted her on my lips.

  I nodded wordlessly and opened the door to let her pass through first. As she crossed my path, I stole another look, admiring the sight of her from behind. The slightest hint of jiggle beneath the material of her dress tortured me further, leaving me to wonder if she had on panties. I licked my lips at the thought of it. In one night, she’d turned me into a man obsessed; constantly wanting to touch and taste her now. Hell, I even dreamed about it. As we made our way down the hall, I couldn’t fight the curiosity any longer. Unsure of what came over me, I lifted up the back of Lissette’s dress to see for myself.

  She laughed and pushed my hand away, smoothing her dress down in the process. “Luke! What are you… have you lost your mind?”

  Satisfied at the sight of black lace covering her backside, I smiled. “Just checking. Wanted to make sure you wouldn’t be showing everybody my goods if the wind blew the wrong way.”

  I didn’t even feel ashamed at how possessive I felt over her after last night. The content grin on her face led me to believe that she didn’t mind either.

  She blushed and rolled her eyes as we made our way to the elevator. “Your goods, huh? That’s funny, because I was pretty sure these goods were mine,” she teased, looking at me over her shoulder as the doors opened and we stepped inside the confined space. As soon as they closed behind us, I leaned against the back wall. When I spun Lissette around and pulled her close, we stood there face to face with little space between us. I could feel her breath on my lips as she stared back, stunned by how I handled her. With her eyes locked on mine, I slid one hand underneath the side of her dress, savoring the feel of her smooth skin when I did, letting my fingers run over the panties I’d snuck a peek at only a moment before.

  “As of last night,” I said, moving a second hand beneath the material, too, tightening my grip, “…every part of you is mine.”

  Mind.

  Body.

  Soul.

  As if she heard my thoughts, Lissette stared back with half-mast eyes, the playful smile fading from her face. She felt it too—this current of energy that now flowed between our bodies. I wasn’t sure if it was our admission of love, the intimacy we’d shared, or both, but there was definitely a deepening of our relationship that came about so quickly it left me feeling dizzy.

  Lissette’s fingers traveled slowly up my shoulders
to the sides of my neck as our lips gravitated toward one another. We were so close, I could feel their heat when the elevator bell interrupted us. Disappointed, she closed her parted mouth with a sigh. I’d just put her dress back down when the doors reopened. She didn’t rush to distance herself, though, just continued to rest against my chest, dazed, content.

  Someone cleared their throat, but Lissette was still too preoccupied by whatever thoughts and fantasies continued to play out in her mind to notice. Gerard stood behind us with flattened moving boxes filling his hands, watching. He mostly focused on my fingers splayed across Lissette’s backside, though. He looked up and quickly forced a smile when I caught him staring.

  “We’ve gotta stop meeting like this,” he said, holding the elevator door so Lissette and I could step out. The sound of his voice caught her attention and her hands slipped from around my neck when she turned to meet his gaze, an embarrassed smile on her face when she realized we were no longer alone.

  Lissette noticed the boxes in Gerard’s hands. “It’s that time already?” she asked, still trying to get her bearings straight after the intense moment we’d just had before being interrupted.

  Gerard tore his eyes away from her long enough to look down at the folded cardboard he held. “Yup. Just got the keys yesterday. There’re just a few more things to pack up in the kitchen and then that’s it.” He forced another smile my way, pretending like it didn’t bother him to see Lissette with someone else. She’d explained the details of the breakup and none of that meant that he didn’t still feel something for her. He simply couldn’t deal with her health challenges and the impact it would have on her in the future—namely, her inability to conceive. He left because of that, not because he didn’t want her. Lissette didn’t look at it that way, though. All she knew was that she told him something personal about herself, something that’d been difficult for her to even accept, and he bailed. Naturally, she thought this meant he didn’t care, but as a man, seeing how he looks at her, I knew that wasn’t the case. He still cared even if he’d moved on.