Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 8

by Fujino Omori

  Her full head of pink hair swished from side to side as the girl waved.

  With a highly expressive face and cute features, she was rather charming.

  Misha Frot, a friend of Eina’s since their school days, couldn’t wait to escape their workplace and quickly led the half-elf away from the counter.

  “Sooo hungry. I swear, my stomach’s going to eat me from the inside out!”

  “Misha! Don’t pull.”

  Eina informed her coworkers that the two of them were going out while the pink-haired human tugged on her arm.

  “Enjoy your lunch!” said one of the other receptionists with a wave. The two girls left the station in their coworker’s capable hands.

  “You’re in luck! I found a place the other day that has reaaally good food! It’s in the West Block.”

  “Misha, are you sure we have time to eat and get back before our lunch break is over?”

  “Hmmm, it’s probably fine.”

  “You know…”

  Misha’s carefree lack of attention to detail made Eina cringe and smile at the same time.

  The free-spirited Misha and the serious, straightforward Eina had been together for a long time. Now working side by side, the two were almost like a set.

  They started chatting just like they had during their school days and left the Guild Headquarters through the rear exit. They came out on the side of the building opposite from the main street.

  “EEina!”

  “Ah…Is that you, Dormul?”

  Eina’s pointed ears twitched when a loud voice roared down the backstreet.

  A young dwarf man was waiting for her when she turned around.

  Misha felt very out of place as the dwarf jogged up to them, excitedly waving his meaty arms.

  “Wh-what a surprise, seein’ ye out ’ere. I was just on me way by…”

  Eina immediately knew that was a lie and grimaced to herself.

  As with most dwarves, Dormul was a stout, thick man. He did, however, stand taller than most of his kin at 170 celch. Both of his limbs looked like sturdy branches emerging from a solid tree trunk of a torso.

  Unshaven, he smiled with his long, thin eyes. Dormul looked as though he would be more at home living out among Nature than in the big city, with an accent to match.

  He nervously scratched his pronounced nose as he did his best to talk to Eina.

  “Say, Eina, ye wouldn’t be off ta lunch, would ye? I’m on me way ta grab a bite meself…W-would ye care ta come with? Oh, of course I’d be pickin’ up the tab!”

  “There’s, um, no need for that…But, Dormul, today I’m with one of my coworkers, so…”

  She’d lost count of how many times the dwarf had bumped into her “by chance” and invited her to lunch. At this point, Eina didn’t know what to do about it anymore.

  The bulging muscles beneath his valiant armor showed that Dormul was an adventurer. Currently Level 3, this upper-class adventurer who had made a name for himself for his strength in battle had once called Eina his adviser. The two had known each other for years.

  Eina was aware that the man had taken a liking to her.

  She didn’t want to give the impression of being full of herself, but she also didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

  He’s not a bad guy, but…

  Being on the receiving end of an adventurer’s advances was a daily occurrence for the Guild’s receptionists.

  But Dormul wasn’t like the other adventurers hitting on the cute girls. He was always sincere, maybe too much so, in his attempts to ask her out, so Eina couldn’t just shoot him down. She had always refused but made sure to choose her words carefully to avoid hurting him. However, Dormul still hadn’t gotten the hint.

  “…Eina, I can get lunch by myself if I’m in the way.”

  “W-wait, Misha…!”

  “Dah! Da-ha-ha-ha! Just ’cause we’re perfect fer each other, ye don’ have ta go thinkin’ ye’re gettin’ in the way, li’l missy!”

  A conniving grin appeared on Misha’s lips, and Eina quickly chided her. Dormul, on the other hand, took it as a sign of good things to come and couldn’t contain his joyous laughter or the tears forming in his eyes.

  Since the dwarf was also older than she, it was more difficult than ever for Eina to refuse his offer.

  “Stop this at once, despicable dwarf. Can you not see that Eina is in distress?”

  “Uhm?!”

  A sharp voice cracked like a whip.

  Dormul spun around to find a handsome elvish adventurer who embodied the very definition of the word elegant standing behind him.

  Ears longer and pointier than Eina’s stood out from beneath his long golden hair. Dressed in leather armor, he carried a longbow and had a quiver of arrows strapped to his back. The two men stood at about the same height, but their body types couldn’t have been more different. The elf was as lean and sleek as the longbow attached to his shoulder.

  The awkward atmosphere suddenly became hostile. “Step aside,” said the elf as he roughly passed the dwarf’s shoulder and came to a stop in front of Eina.

  “L-Luvis…”

  “Are you all right, Miss Eina? This man didn’t try to touch you with his dirty hands, did he?”

  “Wanna say that ta me face?”

  The elf named Luvis huffed through his nose, brushing off the dwarf’s thinly veiled threat.

  Eina had once been the adviser of this Level 3 elf as well. It seemed that, just like with Dormul, he had developed feelings for Eina while under her tutelage.

  In typical elf fashion, Luvis looked down his nose at Dormul before turning back to Eina. “Heh-hem.” He cleared his throat, making a louder sound than necessary.

  “I just happened across the most rare, beautiful bouquet at the boutique just down the road. I thought of you the moment I saw the flowers’ ravishing hues and elegant form…Please accept it as a gift from yours truly.”

  “Y-you know I can’t accept this, Luvis…”

  The elf extended the bouquet in his arms out to her with both hands.

  Eina’s eyes were drawn to the vivid colors, but she did her best to graciously decline—when a thick hand suddenly snatched the bouquet away.

  “What are you doing?!”

  “Hmph. Ain’t ye the one turnin’ Eina inta a fish outta water? Pushin’ these sissy li’l flowers on her in a back alley? How do ye think she’s feelin’?”

  “Apparently the aesthetics of a bouquet are beyond your comprehension, foul dwarf…! We elves are noble. Keep your distance!”

  “Eina is only half! Don’t be groupin’ her with yer vile lot!”

  It was uncommon for elves and dwarves to see eye to eye, and this was the perfect example.

  Eina had seen this kind of thing play out far too many times. Giving up on solving the situation, she said a quick “Excuse me” and ducked her head. The two men were so caught up in their argument that they didn’t even notice.

  Giving Misha a gentle push in the back was her signal for the two of them to take their leave. They didn’t linger.

  “Is this okay?”

  “Not okay, but…it’ll only get worse as long as I’m there.”

  She chanced a peek over her shoulder and saw that Dormul and Luvis were in each other’s faces, exchanging heated insults back and forth.

  No, the two didn’t get along.

  Recognizing each other as rivals, perhaps, in the quest for her heart had only escalated their mutual dislike into their current relationship.

  Actually, both had become much more aggressive in the past few days…That might be an overstatement, but the fact that they were being much more forward was undeniable.

  The two adventurers had expressed interest in her in the past, but recently they’d been finding ways to talk to her after business hours, during her personal time. Dormul’s actions this afternoon, waiting for her to come out the back door of the Guild and then moving in, were only the latest episode. What’s worse, their strategies were b
ecoming only more elaborate.

  It was as though they were trying to outdo each other in finding new ways to approach Eina.

  I know they’re not bad people, but…

  Dormul and Luvis’s argument came to a sudden stop and both looked left and right.

  A sudden chill ran down Eina’s and Misha’s backs as they stared at the two men before abruptly turning forward.

  They could feel the gazes of the two adventurers on their backs as they continued on their way. Feeling a little disheartened, Eina adjusted her glasses as she walked.

  Guild Headquarters, the archives.

  Information about the city, the surrounding areas, monsters, and everything concerning the Dungeon was stored in this massive two-story room that was located behind the lobby on the other side of a restricted hallway. Rows of wooden shelving units standing just above the average human height turned this near library into a labyrinth in its own right.

  The bookshelves, floors, and weight-bearing pillars were all painted in a low-key dark-brown finish. Several Guild employees in their trademark black suits silently read the books in their hands or passed through the long aisles.

  “A-all done…”

  “Good work. Now let me see…”

  Her coworkers had come to the archives for many different reasons, but Eina had claimed several desks to create an island in the reading space. She sat in a chair at one end of the island, and on the other side of several open maps and books was a white-haired human boy. Bell handed her a sheet of paper.

  She was in the process of delivering one of her occasional private lessons about the Dungeon.

  Eina wanted to make absolutely sure Bell was ready to face anything in the Dungeon. Her method of choice was to hit the books.

  That was the role of an adviser.

  The Guild assigned every adventurer an adviser to provide them with support and prepare them for Dungeon prowling.

  Adventurers could make a request as to the gender and race of their adviser. Since they met the receptionists most often, the beautiful girls were often selected to fill that role. There was about a 10 percent chance the Guild couldn’t meet an adventurer’s wishes—but in any case, Eina had served as an adviser for many adventurers.

  However, her superiors had taken notice of the speed and quality of her work. Constantly faced with mountains of paperwork and given important assignments within the Guild, she had requested that her coworkers take over as advisers for most of her adventurers.

  Right now, Bell was the only one she looked after.

  “…Your recollection of the information about middle-level monsters is nearly perfect.”

  “Do…do you really think so?”

  “Yes. So thentime for a pop quiz. Describe a combat strategy for every single monster. Draw maps of every floor, too. If I find any mistakes, you’ll write each of them out until you can remember them in your sleep.”

  “…Okay.”

  Bell’s expression clouded as Eina handed him another blank sheet. Clapping his jaw shut, the boy gave a firm nod.

  Eina’s emerald eyes watched the boy’s pen move at a furious pace, elbow resting on the table and head in his hand. She was elated to see him work so hard.

  Eina had a very particular stance when it came to advising adventurers.

  In addition to the usual Dungeon-prowling advice and regular meetings, she would also summon her adventurers to private lessons, where she crammed as much Dungeon knowledge into their heads as possible.

  Her beautiful face hid an extremely strict instructor who would have made the Spartans of the Ancient Times proud. It was to the point that she had gained a scary reputation among many adventurers. No one had lasted all the way to the end of her course, running away halfway through. Even Dormul and Luvis couldn’t endure her teaching style.

  Bell was barely keeping his head above water.

  Tears threatened to leak out of his ruby-red eyes on more than one occasion. But even so, he stayed firmly seated at the desk.

  His drive came from his idol.

  The determination to reach that lofty goal was just slightly more powerful than his fear of Eina’s harsh training.

  Sometimes his brutal honesty and straightforward nature worked against him.

  No matter how many times he fell in battle or in the classroom, he would always get back up and face the problem head-on.

  Those were qualities that Eina rather liked about him.

  At the very least, they were the reason that she wanted to support him, cheer him on.

  Time’s almost up…

  Eina, whose gentle gaze had been centered on Bell’s face, looked up at the clock on a nearby pillar.

  The hour hand was pointing toward ten. Before starting their study session, Bell told her in person that Hestia Familia had had a busy few days. It would be cruel to keep him tied up much longer.

  Night had already fallen and few other Guild employees were still walking around the archives. The only constant sound was the scratching of Bell’s feathered pen moving across paper coming from the reading area located in the middle of the massive chamber.

  A few more quiet minutes went by before an exhausted Bell turned in his quiz.

  Eina immediately spotted a few mistakes, but she couldn’t bring herself to follow through on her threat. She forced a smile and passed right over them.

  They could be brought up at the next session.

  “Good effort today, Bell. That will end today’s lesson.”

  “…Th-thank you.”

  Bell lifted his face from the surface of the desk. There was a weak, lofty smile on his face.

  Eina told him he could sit and wait, but the boy insisted on helping her clean up. Grabbing a few of the books and maps, he joined the half-elf in returning the materials to their proper places.

  Bell had come here directly from the Dungeon. Re-equipping the armor that had been sitting next to the pillar, he followed her out of the archives and through the restricted hallway to the lobby.

  Saying a quick good-bye, the boy staggered along the path through the garden in front of Guild Headquarters. Eina watched him go until he disappeared into the night.

  “That was a long day, wasn’t it, Eina?”

  “Misha…And everyone, too.”

  Eina was surprised to be greeted by a group of her female coworkers after she returned to the office.

  It was very rare for all the receptionists to still be at the Guild at this late hour.

  “I don’t know how you do it, working that closely with an adventurer. It won’t change a thing on your paycheck.”

  “Ah-ha-ha…”

  Eina grinned dryly at the senior receptionist’s words as she handed her a ceramic cup filled with hot tea.

  There were no men in the office, so the ladies each grabbed a chair and griped about work for a while.

  “Oh, that reminds me, Tulle. An adventurer made another pass at you today?”

  “…Misha.”

  “What was I supposed to do? How could you expect me to keep a story that juicy to myself?”

  Eina glared at her friend who couldn’t keep a secret to save her life. But soon she lightheartedly laughed it off. She couldn’t stay mad at Misha for long.

  Holding back the urge to sigh, she looked toward the eldest receptionist. Her coworker sat with her arms crossed, obviously not amused.

  “Seriously, I’m right here, and yet you get all the attention…Adventurers need to have their eyes examined.”

  “But, Rose, you’ve sworn off adventurers, haven’t you?”

  “Every single one of them. Adventurers always break their promises.”

  Rose, a werewolf, fiddled with the ends of her long red hair as she continued her rant.

  “Nothing good comes from being with someone with a death wish.”

  The atmosphere in the office suddenly changed.

  The other receptionists looked at the floor, off to the side, or hid their faces behind their teacups as
if they all could relate to her.

  “They say ‘I want you,’ ‘I love you,’ anything that they think we want to hear. But when push comes to shove, they never come home. I guess adventurers are more interested in monsters than women.”

  There was a great deal of irony in her voice, sticking her tongue out at no one as her mood worsened. After a few moments, though, everyone could see it was just a brave face.

  For the most part, the receptionists—no, all Guild employees—kept their distance from adventurers.

  No one tried to cross the line drawn in the sand—although it might be better to say that the number who did was constantly decreasing.

  Just as Rose had said, it was only a matter of time before the adventurers disappeared.

  Forever lost in some deep, dark corner of the labyrinth beneath Orario.

  It was almost a guarantee that more than one of the women present had loved one of them with all her heart, only to soak her pillow with tears. Eina herself had once collapsed to her knees in grief when one of the adventurers she was advising returned from the Dungeon as a corpse. The half-elf glanced to her side and saw that even Misha didn’t have her usual pep.

  When it came to adventurers, there was always a danger that they wouldn’t be around to see tomorrow.

  So the receptionists did their best to keep them at arm’s length.

  They might be smiling and using kind, gentle words in their daily interactions with adventurers, but that was all part of the job. The receptionists were being professionals.

  “Tulle, I won’t say anything about how you do your job at this point…but the more you try to be everyone’s friend, the more regrets you’ll have and the more complicated things will get.”

  “…I see.”

  Out of all the receptionists, Eina was the only one who tried to make personal connections with her adventurers.

  She helped them try to reach their goals, provided them with valuable information, took the initiative to get them to study, and did it with a smile on her face.

  All because she thought there was something she could do for them, provide a little extra push that would ensure their safe return from the Dungeon.