Weakness

by Shelley Michaels

  ‘What’s that all about?’ Ben turns as I walk in the living area.

  ‘You don’t want to know, we going to yours?’ I ask, distracting him.

  ‘Yeah. Liddy doing okay?’ he asks, ‘she doesn’t look too good to me.’

  ‘Chemo knocks the good bits out as well as the bad,’ I update him. ‘Her body is run down, but she will be fine. They have hospital Monday, for a check-up before the next round of treatment, they’ll give her the once-over.’ His eyes almost glaze over with humour, ‘what?’

  ‘You never did answer me about the nurse’s uniform,’ his voice is low and sexy as he walks up to me and pulls me into his huge embrace. ‘I’d love to see it,’ his lips move to my neck and nibble a trail to just below my ear, which he knows leaves me a wobbly mess. I hum into his ear as my body promptly lights up, ‘Jesus, that sound makes me hard,’ he whispers in my ear.

  ‘Yeah?’ I rub myself against him, and he lifts his head up, his eyes on fire as he gazes down. My body goes warm as I feel a throbbing between my legs.

  ‘You say I have bedroom eyes,’ he mutters. ‘You see yourself right now, Queenie, it would turn you on almost as much as it does me. Pure beauty.’ His lips drop down to mine and what starts off as a soft kiss, instantly builds to a full-on long, hard, wet kiss, with me hanging on by a fist to his hair. Someone clearing their throat halts us in our tracks as we both look up to see Cam leaning against the doorway, his eyes to the floor, his lips curved up in a smile.

  ‘Sorry guys, you may wanna take this somewhere private,’ he advises, humour apparent in gaze.

  ‘Sorry,’ I flush. I chance a glance up to see that Ben is also amused and not in the least bit embarrassed at being caught making out by my brother-in-law.

  ‘Hey, no apology needed, Waspy. Just not the time to introduce my kids to sex education, maybe another ten years or so,’ Cam smiles. Shit, I didn’t think about the fact the kids may get up.

  ‘I’m just going to grab a few of my things,’ I tell Ben, who nods, his eyes still at half-mast.

  I was still thinking about that kiss when he appears in the doorway to my room. ‘You okay?’ he asks, I nod. ‘Grab enough stuff for a few days, baby,’ he instructs.

  ‘Why? Cam not going to work?’ I ask.

  ‘No, he’s on extended leave. I’m trying to persuade him to join up with Kyle’s PI firm. They are looking for recruits. He knows and respects Kyle. That way he can be more flexible with his hours, they may be long on occasion, but he can pretty much dip in and out when he needs. He’s a valued member of the force, but he is also tied to set hours. Working for Kyle would mean he would be working for himself.’

  ‘You think he’ll do it?’ I ask.

  ‘He’s thinking about it. It would help out, when and if he needs to be around for his family,’ he explains and I nod, thinking to myself it will also be good when I go home, knowing he is around more.

  ‘Sounds like a good idea,’ I comment.

  ‘You up to stopping off at Honour, I have to pick up some paperwork, so that I can do a bit of work from home?’ He questions, lightly.

  ‘I’m stopping you working,’ I announce, feeling bad.

  ‘No, well yes, but I need a break from things, I haven’t stopped in a long while, Queenie, I need to take a breath,’ he admits, and the way he says it, I know it to be true.

  ‘Okay, but I need to change,’ I look down at my leggings/yoga pants and shirt.

  ‘You look beautiful as you are,’ he insists, he is also dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt.

  ‘I look awful, I have never worn anything with elastic waists, like ever! I don’t do jogging bottoms or anything similar, definitely not in public,’ I announce. ‘I can stay here if you like, you can go and get your paperw….’

  ‘Absolutely not!’ he interrupts, his voice like thunder.

  ‘Well, that’s rude,’ I frown at him interrupting me so bluntly.

  ‘I don’t give a shit,’ he calls, ‘change, or don’t change, anywhere we are going, we are going together,’ his voice is stern, his face the blank mask he uses in the outside world.

  ‘Fine,’ I snap, ‘I don’t know who made you the boss of me!’ I stomp to the wardrobe and open it, pulling out an off the shoulders ruffled short blue dress that is loose and won’t hurt my side. I give Ben my death stare as I wander out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, but I’m sure I hear his soft chuckle as I close the door.

  My stomach is anxious as we walk in Honour via the back entrance, with Ben holding my hand tightly. His skittish behaviour is making me even more uneasy as his eyes scan the room as we enter the bar area and he walks us up to his usual stool.

  ‘I thought we were going to your office,’ I mutter up to his stern face.

  ‘Seeing as you took so much trouble with your dress, I thought we’d have a quick drink,’ he looks down at me and warmth hit his glance, ‘the cops took a statement from Lou and her friends, she’s worried about you. Thought you might want to put her right on a few things, like for instance that you and I are together, maybe?’ He cocks an eyebrow. ‘You keeping me a dirty little secret, Queenie?’

  I knew Lou was concerned about me. She had called me the day after our night out after the cops had tracked her down for a statement, just to make sure I was okay.

  But, out of all what Ben had just told me, the only bit that penetrated was the fact that he had at some point spoken to Lou. Jealousy heats and sears through my chest, ‘how do you know she was worried about me?’ I can hear the accusation in my tone, and hate myself for it.

  ‘Say what?’ He glowers, his face turning pissed. ‘She works for me, Sasha!’

  ‘Sure, she does,’ I turn my stare from his and focus on a spot in the distance. The truth is, I love Lou, she’s a great girl but that’s the problem, she’s a great girl, any man would be lucky to have her. Ben had sampled her, and I hated that. I have never experienced jealousy in my life because I’ve never cared enough to be jealous before now.

  ‘Are you for real right now?’ He growls, then I feel his hand cup my jaw and turn me to face him. I expect dark grey but meet with clear ocean blue. ‘Jealousy?’ He murmurs, ‘be careful, baby, your weakness may be about to expose itself any second.’ I try to pull my face away from his, but he holds it firm as he drops his lips down to touch the corner of my mouth. ‘Greens not your colour, baby,’ he whispers against my lips before he drops his hand and releases my chin.

  ‘There you are, oh my god I’ve been so worried,’ Lou ignored the public display of affection that she has undoubtedly just witnessed, and instead launches herself at me and hugs me tight. ‘I should never have left you alone. I’m so sorry. I told the other girls to make sure you got home’ she begins. See what I mean, such a great girl! ‘I wouldn’t mind, the guy turned out to be a prize jerk,’ she rolls her eyes, and I smile.

  ‘It’s not your fault, I was an idiot,’ I tell her, and we fall into useless girly chitchat. I decided I should probably enlighten her to Ben and me and begin with, ‘I meant to tell you about,’ I nod my head in the direction of Ben, who is busy talking to one of the managers.

  She waves me away, ‘sugar, if you thought you were hiding it, you were doing a terrible job,’ she grins. ‘The moment you walked in, we all knew. We all wondered how long it would be before you were charmed into his life.’

  ‘It’s not like that,’ I begin.

  ‘Honey, enjoy it while it’s there,’ she smiles, totally a great girl!

  I hear Ben turn to Jay, the bartender and order a beer and a white wine and when we fall into a lull, he asks Lou if she wants a drink, she waves him off without even seeing him and says she has to get back as she is losing tips. Then like the whirlwind she is, she hugs me again and tells me to hurry back to work.

  ‘You have a fan,’ Ben hands me a glass of wine.

  ‘She’s great,’ I sigh, knowing I am behaving like an adolescent.

  ‘She is great,’ he agrees, I turn to look at him, and his eye
s are shining with amusement, ‘just not my type of girl,’ he adds.

  I narrow my eyes at him, ‘she was clearly your type of girl once.’

  ‘That’s right, I fucked her once,’ he shrugs, totally unaffected, ‘how many nights have we had, so far?’

  ‘I don’t know, but we won’t be having anymore if you start to list the number of staff you’ve shared your bed with,’ I mutter, sardonically.

  ‘I never shared my bed with any of them,’ he announces. So, he apparently goes to their places, that makes me feel a little less like one of a million. I begin to relax and enjoy our natural chatter as we finish our drinks, stopping now and then when one of the staff stops by to say a word or two to Ben or me.

  When I refuse another drink, Ben takes my hand and leads me to his office where he collects some folders, checks some things on the CCTV and takes me home.

  It’s when we return to Ben’s loft that he receives the first call from Kyle. I make my way to the bathroom, deciding on a bath to ease my achy bones and giving him some privacy to speak with his friend.

  While the bath fills, I strip off my clothes and put on my robe that I bought from Lydia’s, pile my dark curls on top of my head and take off my make-up. Ben’s bathroom is spectacular, probably my favourite room in the house with its white roll top tub, double sink and shower big enough for two, that sits on a sea of grey granite slabs, with plain white brick tiles covering the walls. It was simple, fresh and yet classy.

  I lay in the bubbles, that I also bought from my sisters with this in mind, and allow the hot water to steam away from the aches and pains. I love my sister and her family, but there is little chance of much peace with the kids running around. I sink down below the bubbles to hear the numbing sound that doesn’t fail to soothe me.

  That is until I am yanked up, by the shoulders to Ben’s stern face, ‘what the fuck are you doing? Are you okay?’ He panics.

  I splutter, wiping at the bubbles, ‘what are you doing?’ I screech, rubbing my eyes with the towel Ben has handed me.

  ‘Jesus, I thought you’d passed out or something and slipped into the water!’ He yells down to me from a standing position.

  ‘You frightened the shit out of me, Ben,’ I snap.

  ‘Ditto. Why were you under the water, Sasha?’ He growls between clenched teeth.

  ‘I like the sound, it’s peaceful,’ I growl back, ‘and you know, you could knock!’ That was feeble, it was his house, and there aren’t any locks on any of the doors because he’s the only one that lives here. It’s not as if his family visit, he doesn’t have any.

  ‘You like the sound?’ He echoes, before chuckling, ‘I think she’s dying, or worse and she likes the fucking sound. What the hell?’

  I lay back and wring out my dripping hair, pushing it from my face. ‘There isn’t anything worse than dying,’ I inform him, snootily.

  ‘Okay, Queenie,’ he pulls his t-shirt over his head, ‘move forward,’ he commands.

  ‘What are you doing?’ I ask, knowing the answer. He steps out of his jeans and underwear and moves towards me, his semi-hard length bobbing in front of my face, I grin.

  ‘Down tiger,’ he chuckles, as he steps in behind me and slides down to sit at my back, pulling me to lay on his chest. ‘Tell me about the peace under the water, baby.’

  ********

  The second call came, once we had gone to bed, after having sex and snuggling down for the night with Ben’s face buried in my neck.

  I’d woken with a jolt at the constant buzzing, Ben had stirred and instantly turned over and grasped his phone, moving to a sitting position to answer it.

  All I hear is his voice stern and slightly panicked, ‘you are fucking kidding me, She okay? What about Kyle? Jesus fucking Christ, where they taking him? Okay, brother, I’ll meet you there.’ He throws his phone onto the cabinet and moves to grab his clothes. ‘Shit’s gone down at the care home, Sasha, Kyle’s been shot! I need to get there, baby.’

  ‘Oh my god,’ I jump up and reach for my clothes, ‘is he okay? I’m coming with you,’ I tug on a pair of jeans that are thankfully looser than normal due to my slight weight change, which means they’re kinder on my hip and grab a bra and a tank pulling them both on in record time.

  ‘He’s at the hospital, but I first need to stop by and see Ma. Apparently, they put a bullet in, what they presumed was her, while she slept.’ I gasp, and he continues. ‘It’s okay, it was pillows, they put on her bed while they kept her safe, elsewhere,’ he is beyond pissed, and I could comprehend why. ‘It’s a good job Kyle finished them off because I have to tell you, Queenie, if he hadn’t, I, fucking well would have.’

  I try not to focus too hard on the notion of Kyle finishing anyone off, he’s such a sweet guy, and I can hardly imagine it. ‘What the fuck is wrong with people?’ I growl, ‘an innocent woman sleeping in her bed.’ I grab a hoody from my bag of clothes and pull it over my head.

  By the time we arrive at the care home, it has been cordoned off as a crime scene. There were cops, buzzing around everywhere, and the staff were all in the process of trying to calm down the residents that were disturbed by not only the gunshots but also by the sirens and activity around the building.

  Ben’s mum, however, was sound asleep, but he still wanted to go in and take a look for himself that she was okay. Apparently, Kyle had been moving Alexandra Taylor, to a different room every night, as a precautionary measure, just in case the blackmailer was indeed from the care home, as suspected. No one knew, but Kyle and his men, where she slept from night to night, which as it turned out was a smart move that saved her life.

  I was horrified to learn it was a woman that took the shot to what they thought was Alex in her bed. Somehow, for no logical reason at all, a woman putting a bullet in a helpless, sick woman while she slept, felt like a betrayal against humankind. We were supposed to be the softer natured sex, we nurtured and empathised with the vulnerable, in my profession, records showed that ninety-one percent of nurses were women.

  The cops had updated Ben that the female culprit had been shot twice by Kyle, the first one being a flesh wound that was intended to incapacitate, but he’d had no choice when she turned the weapon in his direction, to expel the second, which was a headshot that instantly killed her. Her male accomplice had apparently been arrested and was in custody, both worked as carers in the home and had been for some time. I image that stung severely and didn’t bode well for the future of the care home, which would bear the backlash once it became public knowledge.

  The police had also told Ben that the male perpetrator had gone into shock when they managed to detach him from his girlfriends’ brain splattered body, leaving him blubbering like a baby. Can’t say I could dig dip to find an ounce of empathy.

  The one thing that I found more than a little disappointing was that from the cop’s description of the guy, there was no way it was the man who tried to kidnap me, which meant there were more people involved than the two that they caught. The main aim now was to extract from the witness the names of any other persons involved. It seems it wasn’t over quite yet.

  We sat in the waiting room of the hospital with Kyle’s family, anticipating news of his injuries. When we had arrived, they told us that on arrival he had been rushed into surgery to remove the bullet along with his spleen, which was bleeding internally. Kyle’s mum, Marnie, was there with his brother Nate, and a guy named Kane, who was also involved in the case and who happened to be the back-up that Kyle was supposed to have waited for, before wading into the care home. Ben kept me wrapped in his arms until the surgeon finally emerged, some hours later, and informed us Kyle was going to be sore for a while but had no lasting damage. I felt the relief drain from Ben’s tense form and squeezed him tight. After my incident the other night, the last thing Ben needed was another something to feel guilty about.

  Ben was quiet on the way home, apparently feeling responsible for Kyle’s injury, in spite of Nate continual assurance that it was always a
risk doing what they do. It seems Kyle, going in without back up, was a huge no-no in the world of law enforcement and no-one blamed Ben in the least. Seemingly, he’d been pre-occupied, with Shauna, in London, after she received more hassle from her ex-husband and deciding the situation was hopeless. She had apparently refused to take Kyles calls, and he was struggling to cope with accepting the situation for what it was.

  Marnie had since told me that Shauna was now on a plane, on her way to DIA.

  By the time we arrived back at the loft, Ben and I were both shattered. We had made a detour on the way back from the hospital, to a diner, where we had eaten breakfast in almost silence, fatigue engulfing us. We then walked directly into the bedroom, peeled off our clothes and climbed into the huge bed. Ben wrapped me in his arms, I tangled my legs with his, and within minutes we were sound asleep.

  ********

  Chapter Fifteen

  I watched the three gorgeous women sitting in various positions around the room, as their eyes hit the beauty of Ben, standing beside me. Their mouths opened, and their eyes widened before their glances dropped to little old me, standing next to him. Ben had that effect on women. I had learned this both from personal experience and from witnessing it first hand on our various public appearances over the weeks. Although I couldn’t help but feel something swell deep inside at the knowledge, he was spending every night wrapped around me, and apparently, only me.

  Kyle looked quite well, considering. He was moving around somewhat cautiously, but he seemed happy, especially since he had his woman in his arms at every opportunity. She was stunning, there were no other words for it, and they made such a beautiful couple. She had long white-blonde hair and big blue eyes, which according to Ben was why he called her his Princess. He thought she looked like Rapunzel. Cute! They were cute. She looked at him as if he was the only man on the earth while his eyes completely devoured her at every touch.

  Nate’s wife, Sophie, had just given birth to a baby boy called Jake, who was currently in Kyle’s arms and his sister, Ellie had the prettiest baby girl named Ruby, who had the same blue eyes of Kyle’s entire family. His mum, Marnie, was also there, but I had already met her at the hospital a week ago.