Weakness

by Shelley Michaels

  We had been invited to Nate’s for a gathering, apparently to celebrate Kyle still being alive after being shot last week. Ben had filled me in on the journey as to who was with whom. It seems both Nate and Kyle had a weakness for English girls, their women both not only both being from London, but also best friends.

  The past week had been productive in finding out the identity of my abductor, who turned out to be an old college pal of the man who they arrested at the care home. The cops now had his name and address, but thus far had been unable to locate him. He seemingly hadn’t been seen since leaving me outside Gem, and Henry’s, a week or so ago. The cops had raided his apartment, but found not much in there, like literally a sofa, an old table and two chairs and a ratty old single bed that had seen better days. Evidently, the motive for him becoming tangled in something so nauseating was financial gain.

  Because of this, Ben refused to take security off of everyone involved, including Cam and Lydia, which meant he still wouldn’t let me out of his sight. When I was with the children, or at the hospital with Liddy for her treatment, Ben would escort me and loiter until we were ready to go home. I told him that I was sure everything would be okay and reminded him that Lydia had a guy watching her so that he could leave us, but he stubbornly refused.

  He had businesses to take care of but assured me one of the pros of being a millionaire was that he could pay someone to take care of almost everything in his life.

  After greeting the men and introducing me to Eli, who was Kyle’s sister’s husband and the only one I hadn’t yet met, Nate moved us over to the girls and introduced me as Ben’s girlfriend.

  I felt heat hit my cheeks as all the girls look at me with almost envy, ‘oh no, we aren’t together,’ I mumble. What else could I say?

  Ben turned to give me a look that screamed irritation, bewilderment and frustration, combined, but girlfriend to me insinuates a permanence that I knew I couldn’t have with Ben. I lifted my chin and arched an eyebrow in question as if daring him to challenge me.

  The blonde that I knew to be Kyle's, Shauna grinned wide at me and I winked, us London girls had to stick together.

  ‘It’s good to meet you, Shauna. I have heard a lot about you,’ Ben, purred when Kyle introduced them.

  ‘Oh, all good, I hope,’ she flustered. I almost laughed at the goofy face she gave Ben, oh yeah, she may be in love with Kyle, but she was human. I watched as Kyle territorially moved to her side, the baby no longer in his hold, to curl a possessive arm around her waist.

  I was having fun, this was Ben in charming mode, and I knew no woman stood a chance. When Kyle’s watchful gaze met mine, I smiled as if to reassure him that it happened to the best of us. Shauna turned to Kyles approach and looked up, her eyes lighting as she moved up on her tiptoes and kissed him softly on the lips.

  ‘Absolutely,’ Ben answered, with a small tip of his lips, ‘I wanted to extend my apologies for dragging your man into this shit and getting him shot in the process,’ I watched as his eyes soften at the honesty of his apology and my heart warms.

  ‘Thank you, Ben,’ Shauna turns back to look at her man, with love shining in her gaze, ‘but, I guess it’s part of Kyle’s job description,’ she doesn’t look enthralled to be apprehending this for maybe the first time.

  Ben nods in understanding, ‘I hear you are going back to London, soon?’ Nate hands us both a beer and we thank him before turning back to the conversation.

  ‘I am,’ Shauna nods, ‘hopefully, for not too much longer,’ I watch as Kyle brings her closer to him and they look at each other with optimism in their gazes.

  ‘I hope you don’t mind, but Kyle explained your situation to me, and I wanted to offer my help in gaining the best legal help you can to resolve your problem.’ It was the first I had heard about Ben offering help. Shauna glances up to Ben, her eyes confused as he continues, ‘a good friend of mine’s wife is a top divorce lawyer in London when he heard what was happening to you, he offered her services. I hear she’s a ball-buster,’ Ben adds, ‘and of course, I’ll be taking care of the costs,’ he adds.

  ‘That’s incredibly good of you, but why would you do that?’ she gasps, I imagine questioning why a virtual stranger would make such a generous offer?

  ‘I got your man shot, and I owe you.’ His eyes move to them both, ‘I get mates rates, seeing as I was the best man at his wedding,’ Ben explains, with a hint of a smile. ‘The practice is in Kensington, London. I’ve taken the liberty of making an appointment for you next Wednesday, at six p.m.? That work for you?’ I feel my insides turn to mush, what a kind gesture. Shauna’s stunned gaze moves to mine and then back to Ben.

  ‘You don’t have to do that,’ I can see she is uncomfortable with the immensity of the proposal, but everyone else around us is smiling hugely.

  ‘I don't do anything I don’t wanna do, honey,’ Ben gives her one of his knockout smiles and I watch as she almost melts.

  Kyle is standing beside her, a matching grin on his lips. He moves from Shauna and holds out his hand to Ben. ‘Thanks, man, I appreciate it,’ he mumbles, emotion touching the edge of his tone. I know this means the world to these people.

  ‘Kyle, man, you saved my Ma,’ Ben responds, and I instantly understand. It’s payback, not guilt. Kyle saved Ben’s only living relative. I begin to feel all warm and fuzzy and have to sip back a mouthful of beer to get a hold on my emotions, and when I look back at Shauna, she has tears rolling freely down her cheeks.

  She steps forward and wraps her arms around Ben. ‘You don’t know how happy you have made me,’ Shauna hiccups.

  I thought Ben would feel a bit embarrassed by her show of affection but am amazed when he puts his hand on her back and hugs her tight for a second before releasing her to an awaiting Kyle, who she looks up to and I hear her whisper, ‘can we really do this, baby?’

  ‘Princess, whatever it takes,’ he tells her, as his thumb brushes the tears from her cheeks.

  ‘I love you,’ she whispers, softly and I almost cry.

  Ben looks down to me and I feel him wrap an arm around my waist, ‘you okay, Queenie?’ He murmurs. I nod, unable to speak. ‘Weakness is a bastard, isn’t it?’

  I am just about to scold him when Nate slaps Ben on the back and encourages him back to the breakfast bar area where Eli is sitting and leaves me alone with the women.

  ‘They’re so cute,’ I say to Sophie, looking at Kyle and Shauna who are still wrapped in each other’s arms and whispering, softly.

  ‘Sasha,’ Ellie hushes to me from her place on the sofa. I go and sit down next to her, ‘girl, come tell me about that piece of meat you’re playing with,’ she loudly whispers. I giggled, as the other girls surround me, plainly also intrigued by my blue-eyed beauty.

  They are such friendly, warm people that I am reluctant to leave when Ben tells me it’s time. We had promised to keep in touch, and I sincerely hoped we did, especially Shauna who I wished with all my heart, somehow managed to make it over to be with Kyle.

  ‘You had fun?’ Ben asked on the journey home.

  ‘I did, they are a good bunch, of course, it helps that they are fellow Brits,’ I tease.

  ‘Why aren’t we together?’ He reminds me of my response to Nate earlier in the day.

  ‘What?’ I don’t know what to say to his question, I hadn’t expected anyone to label what Ben and I were doing and I knee-jerked.

  ‘You told them all we aren’t together, why aren’t we together? As far as I can tell it’s you I fuck before I go to sleep and it’s you I wake up to every morning. What does that make us if it doesn’t make us together, darlin’?’ He is evidently pissed off by my denial of us being anything other than we are.

  ‘You know what I mean, we aren’t like together, together,’ I splutter. ‘I don’t even live here,’ I express.

  ‘While you are here, we are together,’ he states.

  ‘Yeah, except I remember you saying that before and then dropping me like a whore’s drawers,’ I a
ccuse, quietly.

  ‘Jesus, Christ. I thought we moved on from this, Sasha,’ when he uses my name and not Queenie or baby, he is usually pissed at me, I gather he is probably pissed at me right now.

  ‘Why do we have to label it for everyone else’s benefit, we are fucking,’ I explode. ‘Is it good? Absolutely. Are we together? No, because sometime very soon, honey, I will be leaving for London, and resuming my life and my annual visits to see my sister and her family. How can we be any more than we are, Ben?’ I question.

  ‘Is this still about this whole weakness shit?’ He scoffs, impatiently.

  ‘Thank you for your understanding,’ I raise my voice, throwing my hands up in despair. ‘The fact remains, I am leaving in a few weeks. This thing we are doing is for us, not for anyone else,’ I remind him. After cursing, he pulls over on the road and yanks at my seatbelt. ‘What are you doing?’ I screech.

  His hands find my waist, and he yanks me over to his lap, where his mouth immediately hits mine with bruising force. I open up and allow him access, feeling his groan disappear down my throat. My hands grasp his head and suck in his tongue deep, gliding up and down as if I was sucking him off, while his fingers move up my top and under my bra to pinch my nipple.

  ‘You are fucking mine, you hear me?’ He growls.

  I am pushing down against his visible erection, my body buzzing with need. ‘Need you inside me,’ I moan against his lips.

  ‘After you answer me,’ he argues, but all I can think about is him inside me, satisfying that pulsating ache that is between my legs.

  ‘Okay, yes, while I’m here, I’m yours,’ I relent.

  ‘Take off your jeans,’ he demands, unbuttoning his and releasing his pulsing erection, his hand gliding up and down. Luckily, Nate’s house is in the middle of nowhere, and the road we are currently on is a dirt track that leads to the next village. The straightness of the drive means we would probably see if someone were heading in our direction, well Ben would because I can hardly see straight when he touches me.

  I push off my jeans and panties in one swipe, eager to feel him against me. ‘Straddle me!’ He orders, I comply willingly, and his fingers plunge straight into my wetness. ‘Always so fucking wet for me, baby,’ he hums, finger fucking me deep. I am about to come when he removes his fingers and pulls me down hard on his thick length. I cry out, my hands pushing up on the roof of his Range Rover to anchor me. ‘Ride me,’ he demands. Lust boils through my veins. For the first time in almost two weeks, he fucks me hard. ‘You are mine, you get it?’ He pounds deep.

  ‘Oh god,’ I feel my body burning, getting ready to explode as he hammers into me. ‘Yes, I’m yours,’ I agree, as he moves us faster, harder and deeper, pushing me back against the steering wheel, which tips up my hips and hits me in that spot that has my calling out his name as I scream through my climax. He pumps again, once, twice, three times before I hear his groan of release before he strokes us both down from our high.

  ‘Fuck me,’ he curses, encouraging my mouth to his and kissing me hard and long. I am already squirming beneath him as I push down on his semi-erection that is still inside me. ‘You want more of me?’ He asks, against my lips.

  ‘Yeah,’ I gyrate my hips, against his growing hardness. ‘I can’t get enough of you,’ I confess.

  ‘Fucking insatiable,’ he half chuckles. ‘I want some room, Queenie,’ he tries to lift off of him with his hands at my hips.

  ‘No, I want you now,’ I insist, moving my lips to his neck and nibbling. I can smell us in the small confines of the vehicle and all it does it make me want him more. ‘Please?’ I beg.

  His fingers move down and circle my clit, ‘you take it baby, but I come again when I have you on your hands and knees with that pretty ass up in the air in the privacy of my bedroom.

  ‘Okay then,’ I move against him until I find it again, but then Ben kisses me softly, lifts me off his hardness, promising me more when we get home, and drives us home in record speed. When we reach the loft, he strips me naked and takes me on all fours, his hand fisting my hair as he pounds harder than he ever has, I have another two orgasms, and so does he.

  We don't speak another word about me going home, or us not being together.

  ********

  We are at my sister's because she had her fourth round of chemo today and I liked to be around when she first has it, in case of any complications. Cam is also here, having worked a day shift, but I still feel more comfortable with being here rather than Ben’s. We are both in my tiny bed, as there was no alternative when we were staying here, and there was no way that Ben could fit on the sofa. The kids knew we were together, mainly because Ben was always touching me in one way or another. At first, they used to stare at us, well mainly Blake did, Kristen promptly accepted it for what it was, she was five and didn’t need any explanation.

  Blake did ask whether we were getting married, I nearly choked on my dinner and Lydia through her giggling explained that we were just good friends who were spending time together. Blake then asked me whether I was moving to Denver and I told him no, but would be visiting as soon as I was able.

  ‘I don’t want your money, Ben,’ I hissed, trying to keep the conversation to just that and prevent it from turning into an argument.

  ‘It’s my fault you can’t work your shifts, so as far as I’m concerned, you are on compassionate leave, I would do it for any of my employees,’ he expresses, mildly.

  ‘I was going to say, but you aren’t sleeping with any of your employees, but I know that’s not true,’ I comment, nastily and instantly regret it.

  I had been online to check my bank account and found out that Ben had paid me for the past month of shifts despite hardly being there.

  ‘What the fuck!’ His voice is icy now, ‘where the hell did that come from?’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I apologise, meekly.

  ‘I guess that’s the explanation of your nickname,’ he mutters, running a restless hand over his face. He means Waspy. ‘Jesus!’

  ‘I didn’t mean that,’ I repeat, ‘look, it’s really nice of you to pay me, but I’m not good at charity, I didn’t earn that money,’ I clarify, trying to make up for my hateful comment.

  ‘How is it charity, I’ve just explained that I would do it for any employee?’ He maintains, frustrated. ‘If it weren't for me, you would be able to work, as it stands you can’t, I have an obligation to my employees,’ his eyes pierce me, ‘whether I’m fucking them or not.’

  ‘Okay,’ I sigh, realising I’ve pushed it too far, ‘then, thank you,’ I mumble, he remains silent, so I add. ‘This is why I don’t do relationships,’ I admit, ‘I’m not very good at them.’

  ‘That’s because you don’t relax into things, you are so uptight and fight against everything,’ he states, softly. I am just about to contend his statement but decide against it, maybe he’s right. ‘See that right there?’ He notices my intention to respond, ‘that’s you fighting against your natural urge to argue the toss,’ he points out.

  ‘I’m not argumentative,’ I dispute, before realising that’s precisely what I am. I need to chill out.

  Ben smiles, then chuckles, ‘okay baby, come and wrap yourself around me.’

  We never have sex in my sister’s home, out of respect for my family, which means by the time we get back to Ben’s, we are like rabbits, but we do sleep tangled up close for the whole night. A lot of it is because the bed is small and if we didn’t, one of us would probably fall out, but mostly because when I am in a room, Ben likes to touch me.

  A knock on the door startles me, I sit up, abruptly, it can only be Cam or Liddy, ‘come in.’

  ‘Sorry to interrupt you guys, Sasha, Liddy’s burning up,’ his face is white as a sheet, ‘could you take a look.’

  I jump out of bed and pass him. Another thing both Ben and I make sure of when we are at my sisters is that we wear clothes to bed, for this right now I am thankful.

  My sister is laying in her bed, her face lo
oks pale, ‘you okay, Liddy?’

  ‘Feel shit, Sash,’ she mumbles, sleepily.

  ‘You been sick?’ I ask.

  ‘No, but feel really nauseous,’ she admits. She can’t even lift her head from the pillow. I take her temperature, which shows she has a raging fever before moving to their en-suite to get a wet cloth. I leave Cam cooling her down with the cold compress and run back to my room, where Ben is sitting on the end of the bed.

  ‘She’s not good,’ I lift my phone and call the hospital who tells me to bring her in immediately. ‘Can you stay with the kids?’ I ask Ben.

  ‘Sure!’ I think he is going to argue about leaving me, but surprisingly he goes directly into organisation mode. He arranges for one of his security guys who sit outside the house to bring his SUV around and escort us to the hospital, while I try not to worry Cam and explain that the hospital thinks she should come in to have a check-up in case she has an infection. I dress quickly, and Cam lifts his wife to the car wrapped in a blanket.

  ‘Keep in touch, baby,’ Ben kisses me softly, at the front door, his eyes exposing his anxiety.

  ‘Of course, if we’re not back can you get the kids to school?’ Ben had been around long enough on a school day now to know the children's routine roughly. He assures me he has it under control and kisses me again. I palm his cheek, thanking the lord that he is around to help before running to the car.

  ********

  Chapter Sixteen

  When I walk back into my sister’s house, it is almost four in the morning and Ben is sitting at the breakfast bar with a coffee in front of him. I had called him to let him know I was coming home, as they were keeping Liddy in after putting her on a hydration drip and IV antibiotics to be safe. Cam stayed with her, so although I wanted to be with her, I knew it wasn’t my place. I needed to leave them alone and come home to take care of the kids.