Ready for Love

by Catherine Maiorisi

  “Luscious fruit, huh. What woman could resist being described as a luscious fruit? I hope you aren’t comparing me to a pear.”

  Renee pretended to be horrified. “No, no, not a pear. More like a ripe mango, very sweet and juicy, you know how the juices get all over your face when you eat it.”

  Constance patted Renee’s cheek. “Feeling better, are we?”

  Renee captured the hand on her cheek. “I could have called you a delicate rose.” She kissed Constance’s knuckles. “But that doesn’t capture the essence of you the way luscious fruit does.”

  “I’m definitely not a delicate rose but I’ve never seen myself as a mango either.” Constance sniffed the air. “But you smell more like a dozen rotten mangos than a flower of any sort. Shower time.” She wrapped her arms around Renee and pulled her up. “Let’s stand for a second to steady you.”

  Renee was all for standing in Constance’s arms. It felt natural. And necessary, since her legs were as floppy as cooked spaghetti. “It’s not fair that I’m naked and you’re covered.”

  “No pouting.” Constance looked up into Renee’s eyes. “Pay attention. As weak as you are, I could easily drown you. Now, I’m going to swing around so we’re facing the bathroom. Lean on me and we’ll slowly walk to the shower.”

  Renee tried to avoid putting weight on Constance but she needed the support. When they arrived in the bathroom, after what seemed like hours, Constance eased her onto the toilet seat. “Catch your breath before we get in.”

  Gasping, Renee dropped her head onto the two bath towels on the counter and closed her eyes. She’d never felt so weak, so helpless. And dependent. She used a piece of toilet paper to dab at the tears filling her eyes. “This is harder than I thought. I’m sorry I’m putting you to so much trouble.”

  Constance put one hand on Renee’s shoulder and the other on her cheek. She looked into Renee’s teary eyes and leaned in and kissed her. It was sweet, not passionate, and the tenderness did Renee in. A sob escaped. Constance pulled Renee’s head to her breasts and ran her fingers through Renee’s hair while she sobbed. “It’s all right my sweet girl, let it out, you’ve had a rough time, and you’re so used to being on your own that I imagine it’s hard for you to accept someone caring for you.” As the sobs receded, Constance kissed Renee’s hair, then put a finger under her chin and raised her head so they were face-to-face. “Feel better?”

  Renee flushed. She reached for more toilet paper, dried her eyes then blew her nose. “I’m sorr—”

  Constance spoke over her. “Don’t you dare apologize for showing me your feelings. You don’t have to be Wonder Woman, always cool and together and in control. It’s okay to be needy sometimes. You’ve been really, really sick. You could have died. Your body needs time to heal. And I’m here, ready, willing, and able to help. I really want to take care of you, Renee. Will you let me?”

  Renee was silent, trying to sort through her feelings. Except for therapy, she hadn’t sobbed like that since she realized Darcy was committed to Tori and she’d lost her. Or was it after Constance abandoned her. In any case, since Darcy she’d cut off her feelings and run from anyone who cared for her. Now she was drowning in feelings and she wasn’t sure what to do with them. But it was clear she couldn’t take care of herself, and even clearer that taking care of her made Constance happy. And what was clearest was, though it made her emotional she was enjoying being cared for. The cherry on top was she would get to spend time with Constance. She sighed. Why fight it? “I will. Thank you, my little luscious fruit.”

  Constance beamed. “Call me whatever you’d like.” She handed Renee a toothbrush with toothpaste on it. “Brush.” When Renee signaled she was done brushing, Constance put a cup of water on the counter. “Can you stand?” She leaned over. “Put your hands on my shoulders and pull yourself up.” She held Renee in front of the sink. “Rinse.”

  Weak as she was, Renee enjoyed the press of Constance’s breasts against her back, the comfort of her arms wrapped around her body and the warmth of her breath on her neck. She took the cup of water Constance had placed on the sink and took her time rinsing her mouth.

  Constance loosened her grip. “Okay, let’s get on with this shower before you get chilled.” She helped Renee turn.

  Constance propped her up against the tiles and leaned into her to keep her on her feet. Under other circumstances this position would be a turn-on, but today Renee focused on staying upright. The hot water was restorative and after a minute or two she was able to take on more of her own weight. Constance seemed to sense what she needed. “Can you wash yourself?”

  She nodded. Constance handed her a washcloth and soap then stepped back just enough to allow Renee to soap herself, then rinse off. Again Constance seemed to sense that she was tiring. “Give me the washcloth and I’ll wash your back.” She pushed Renee against the wall again and leaning in to keep her upright scrubbed her back then reached for the shampoo. “I’ll do your hair.” She quickly shampooed and rinsed Renee’s hair, turned off the water, wrapped Renee in a bath towel, then eased her back onto the toilet seat. She rubbed Renee’s hair with a smaller towel, used the large towel to dry her and maneuvered her into her pajamas. By the time Constance dried herself and dried Renee’s hair with the hair dryer, Renee’s eyes were drooping and she could barely sit up. “You’re exhausted. You need to nap but I want to change the sheets. Can you sit here another few minutes?”

  Renee yawned. “Okay. You don’t look so energetic yourself. You’ve been up taking care of me. Why don’t you nap too?”

  “Maybe I will.” Constance left Renee sitting on the toilet while she changed the sheets and pillowcases and arranged the blanket. When the bed was ready, she settled Renee under the sheets and went back into the bathroom to put on dry clothing and clean up.

  “Oh, oh, hanky-panky.”

  Renee opened her eyes. Constance was curled around her holding her close with an arm around her waist and Chloe and Cara were giggling in the doorway. Damn, Constance must have decided to leave the bedroom door open. Renee raised herself onto her elbows and glared. “Shush. You’ll wake your mom.”

  Constance groaned. “Don’t worry, I’m awake now. Believe me girls, there’s no hanky-panky here.”

  “Yeah, Yeah.” Chloe and Cara giggled again. “We aren’t blind.”

  Constance sat up. “And what do you two know about hanky-panky? Huh? Renee has been very sick and I’ve hardly slept all week taking care of her.”

  “A likely story.” More giggles. “Is spooning part of the treatment?”

  “Likely because it’s true. And the spooning was an accident. Renee is weak and tires easily. After her shower she was cold so I moved close to warm her up and fell asleep. Anyway, if it was hanky-panky, the door would have been closed to keep you two twerps out.”

  Renee whispered in Constance’s ear. “You should drop it. I have a feeling you can’t win this argument.”

  Constance got out of bed. “Okay, say hello to Renee, then into your room for homework. We’ll all have dinner together later.”

  When they left, Constance muttered. “I hope seeing that I’m fully clothed puts an end to this conversation.” She turned and straightened the covers on the bed. “Try to get back to sleep. I’m going to start dinner. We’ll eat in here with you, unless you feel up to moving to the kitchen.”

  “Yes, Maman.”

  Constance kissed Renee’s forehead. She started to straighten, but seeming to have second thoughts, pressed a tender kiss to Renee’s lips, then turned with a smug smile, hips swinging gently, and sashayed out of the room. Renee grinned and closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth spreading through her. She could get used to this.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  It had been exactly two weeks since she’d agreed to let Constance take care of her while she was recuperating, and Renee was feeling terrific. On her own in her apartment she would probably have not eaten or slept as well, and most likely would have gone right back to work
instead of taking the time to regain her strength. Besides being good for her health, she’d enjoyed living like a family for the two weeks, the periods of intense connection with Constance, the days when Constance sketched at home or went to her studio to paint while Renee napped, did some work, or, this last week, went to therapy. And, she enjoyed the four of them having dinner together every night, hearing about the girls’ day, discussing art and politics and world events. It was wonderful living with her three girls.

  Today was the last day of school before the holiday break for Chloe and Cara and Moira and Megan. Erik and Joel had picked the four of them up after school to spend a weekend at their cabin in the Catskill Mountains. Renee and Constance would have the entire weekend to themselves, and Sunday night Renee would go back to her apartment. And she’d be alone again.

  They were quiet at dinner. Renee was feeling melancholy about leaving, and Constance was distant, maybe feeling the same.

  After they finished eating, Constance, still in caretaker mode, insisted Renee relax in the living room while she cleaned up the meal. Renee stretched out on the sofa with the book she’d started earlier in the week. When Constance came in she settled next to Renee, lifted Renee’s head onto her lap and began to run her fingers through Renee’s hair. Renee closed her eyes, enjoying the sweet warmth gushing through her. This had been happening more and more. Being touched by Constance, a casual meeting of eyes, the whisper of her sexy English accent, spooning in bed with her at night, and sometimes just watching her sketch or read or cook or talk to the girls turned Renee on. As much as she enjoyed living here, it was getting more difficult each day. They still hadn’t crossed the line from friends to lovers, but the better she felt, the more active her libido had become. She was horny day and night, and this week, she’d been having vivid sexual dreams and had taken a lot of cold showers. The last time she’d felt so inflamed with desire she was a college freshman lusting for Darcy. That passion, realizing she was in love with Darcy, had scared the hell out of her and not understanding what she was giving up, she’d rationalized a reason to walk away. That wasn’t going to happen this time.

  Constance slipped off the sofa. Missing the contact, Renee opened her eyes and was surprised to see Constance kneeling next to her. She kissed Renee’s forehead, then her eyes, her nose, her chin, then brushed her lips. Constance’s gentle kisses, her sweet breath and the purr of her ragged breathing stoked Renee’s already heightened arousal and her eyes fluttered closed again. The next kiss was more insistent. Constance’s tongue teased, Renee parted her lips and Constance deepened the kiss. Renee’s brain fogged, her body heated and softened, melding with the sofa cushions. Her fever was back.

  When Constance’s mouth deserted her again, Renee lifted to follow but not finding her, opened dreamy eyes. Constance’s gaze was tender as she caressed Renee’s face, traced her eyebrows, her cheeks, her lips, her jaw. She kissed Renee’s nose. “Renee sweetheart, I’m so very fond of you. I don’t want to wait any longer.”

  Become lovers? Renee hesitated, waiting for the fear and the impulse to run to bubble up. Instead, she felt a rush of anticipation. She swung her legs off the sofa and shifted to face Constance. She was in love with her and wanted desperately to make love to her. But these last few weeks had solidified her feelings, she was certain she wanted the whole family thing with Constance and the girls, not just sex. What did she mean to Constance? What did she want? “Um, how fond?”

  “Very, very fond.” Constance framed Renee’s face with her hands. “Will it freak you out if I say, I’m in love with you?”

  Renee swallowed. Was she freaked? No. During the two weeks she’d been recuperating, Constance constantly touched her, kissed her frequently, and though she left the bedroom door open, she continued to sleep in the same bed and spoon with her. A few mornings they’d gazed at each other in bed with such intensity, that Renee had almost come. She’d been hesitant to let herself know that Constance was in love with her but she’d felt it.

  Constance kissed Renee’s lips lightly. “It’s all right if you want to wait some more.” She gazed over Renee’s shoulder. “Or if you still want Darcy.”

  The pain in Constance’s face surprised Renee. But of course she would be insecure about Darcy. “I want you, Constance. I don’t want Darcy. I’ve been in love with you since the night we met, but I was too afraid to let myself know before you disappeared and too afraid to admit it to myself since. I’m madly in love with you. And, I don’t want to wait either. I—”

  “Are you sure, Renee? I don’t want to cock this up.”

  Suddenly confident, ready to love and let herself be loved, Renee lifted Constance’s hands one at a time and kissed each of her palms. “Absolutely sure. I love you and I want to make love with you. I want us to be together. The four of us.”

  Constance kissed her softly. Renee closed her eyes. Constance held Renee’s face between her hands and deepened the kiss.

  Renee pulled away. “Bedroom.”

  Constance moaned as Renee helped her off her knees. “Being on my knees on a hard floor in front of you was a lot easier the last time we did this.”

  Renee laughed. “We’re two smart ladies. I’ll bet we can come up with a way to accomplish the same thing on the bed with no pain.” She took Constance’s hand and led her to the bedroom.

  It was strange. They’d had sex and had even made love before. And, more recently, during Renee’s illness, Constance had bathed her and touched her intimately. They’d slept and cuddled together for three weeks, and yet Renee felt shy. And from the look on Constance’s face, she was feeling the same. Renee sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Constance onto her lap. She kissed each of Constance’s knuckles, then her sensitive palm. Constance shivered. Renee tumbled them both onto the bed and side by side they gazed into each other’s eyes. Renee brushed Constance’s hair away and caressed her face. “I love you.” She stroked Constance’s lips and inched closer kissing her gently at first then more fervidly, while her hands played Constance’s body like an instrument, building their passion so all resistance, all fear, all shyness was forgotten.

  Renee pulled away and whispered. “I’d like to undress you, if that’s all right.”

  Hooded eyes popped open, then closed. Constance turned away.

  Confused by Constance’s apparent change of mind, Renee sat up. “Did I misunderstand, Constance?”

  Constance shook her head. She turned to look at Renee. “No. It’s just…”

  “It’s just what?” Renee maneuvered Constance into her lap again. “Talk to me, please. Is it too soon.”

  “No.” Constance shook her head. “I hadn’t even realized I was worried about this but I need to tell you that my body is not the same body you had sex with before.”

  Renee laughed. “You mean you’re not twenty-two years old anymore?” She tickled her. “If I wanted a twenty-two year old, we would have said goodbye at the Metropolitan Gala and I would have continued to have meaningless sexual encounters for the rest of my life.” She tightened her arms around Constance. “I thought you understood I’ve been working in therapy to free myself to love you, not some twenty-two-year-old. It’s you I want. And you forget I saw you in your bra and bikini panties when you showered me. They were as wet as I was after our shower, and let me tell you if I had been capable of holding my head up, or standing, I probably would have ravished you then and there. It’s you I’m in love with.”

  “You don’t mind the stretch marks and the additional weight?”

  “Remember, mon amour, we French don’t have a skinny fetish. I adore your body just as it is.”

  “I should have known.” Constance dried her eyes on her sleeve. “I would love for you to undress me, if you still want to.” Her smile was shy as she tucked her face into Renee’s armpit.

  Renee swiveled, stretched Constance out on the bed, and knelt over her. “I do.” She reverently undid each button on Constance’s blouse, kissing and caressing the newly exposed ar
ea of skin from her neck to her waistband, lavishing considerable attention on the mound of her breasts above the line of the lace of her bra and spending time on her bellybutton. As she tossed the blouse aside Renee fastened her mouth on one of Constance’s breasts through her bra and moved her hand under Constance’s skirt, running her fingers over the crotch of her bikini panties, then stroking her inner thighs. Constance moaned.

  Renee unzipped the skirt, sat back on her knees, pulled the skirt over Constance’s hips and threw it aside. Her gaze swept over Constance, the low-cut red lace bra and matching bikini panties, the soft curves, and, yes, a few faded stretch marks. “I may have been too weak to do anything about the feelings you inspired, but I wasn’t too weak to be turned on. You are as beautiful as I remembered from our shower, even more beautiful than before.” She deposited kisses along the stretch marks, then easing off the red bikinis she dropped them on the floor and buried her face in the patch of glistening golden hair now exposed. Constance smelled and tasted like the spices in the curry she’d prepared for dinner, but now the tang of her arousal filled Renee’s senses, fueling her already flaming desire.

  Renee hesitated, drawn to Constance’s breasts but unable to resist the glistening opening before her. But before she could decide, Constance pulled her up, rolled her over and lay on top of her. “No, let me.” She breathed hot breath into Renee’s ear then slipped her tongue in. Renee writhed in pleasure. “I see you still like that.”

  “Oh, God, I do.” Renee was breathless. “No one else has ever done that. Did you remember or is it something you always do?”

  Constance turned Renee’s face so they were eye to eye. “Oh, my lovely girl, I’ve never done that to anyone else. I remember everything about you, everything about our time together, everything about making love with you. I won’t say I thought about you every day but except for a couple of aborted attempts with women early on and the one drunken quickie with Nigel, you’ve been the only one in my bed, the only one in my heart for the past sixteen years. Our lovemaking, especially the last few times when I knew I was in love with you, replayed in my mind like a favorite movie.”