Endlessly

by C. V. Hunt

  Jason appeared in the apartment doorway. “What the hell are you guys doing?”

  Jessica bounced over to him. “Let me see your hand.”

  Jason knew the routine. He towered above her as he held out his hand. She gazed at his palm, then laid her own tiny palm against it. Jessica stared into his chest as if she were looking right through him. Jason glanced at me, grinning like a crazy man.

  She mumbled something, then gasped and let go. As she recovered herself she smacked him hard on the arm. She was blushing. “Jason, you pervert!”

  “Ow!” he cried, rubbing his arm. He kept grinning.

  “What did he show you this time?” I asked.

  “He was picturing doing stuff to that girl.” As she got her suitcase and wheeled it to the back of the store, Jason and I exchanged glances. His was a smirk, while mine was an angry glare. As Jessica looked back at us, I realized she knew. You can’t keep anything from a witch.

  “Are you done fucking around?” I asked Jason. I wanted to hit him…hard.

  “Yeah.” He turned to go to the car.

  “I’ll be right there,” I called after him. I walked back to get my black trench coat. Picking it up, I looked at Jessica. She was beaming.

  “So you know, huh?” I said.

  She looked to the doorway. Jason was gone. “Oh, Verloren,” she whispered, “I’m so happy you found her.” She hopped around in a dance.

  “Found her? What do you mean?”

  “You know…found someone to be with.”

  Was she hiding something from me? I was sure she was, but I didn’t have time to interrogate her. “I haven’t found anyone,” I said. “You know that I can’t be with her.” “You can try anything for love,” she said, grabbing my arm.

  “Trying will get us both killed. She’ll do better to find someone like herself.” I pulled away from her, and put on my coat. “But it can’t be Jason,” I said.

  “She deserves you. You are one of the greatest men that I know, Verloren.” She looked upset.

  I flipped my collar into position. “She deserves the best. That’s not me,” I said, thinking of the Quatre. “Life with me leads only to death. Even if she were lucky, all she’d get would be a monstrous existence like mine—killing to survive.”

  Jessica bowed her head. I hated upsetting her. I grabbed her chin and turned her face to mine. “Don’t worry about me. I’ve been around a long time, and I’m still ticking. I can do it alone. I’ve proven that.”

  She gave me a half smile.

  As I left, I said: “Don’t wait up, Mom. And you still have some explaining to do when I get back. You’re going to tell me about these flashing pictures. No more evasions. I want to know everything.”

  I walked through the apartment and out to the car. Jason sat in the passenger seat, his cigarette dangling from between his lips.

  Chapter 9

  ALTERNATE REALITY

  The car stereo blared. I drove while Jason kept his eyes on the scenery. When the landscape bored him he flipped through the book of CDs, and wailed along with the songs. Sometimes the rhythms moved him to play drums on the dashboard.

  It was noon before we reached Ash’s place. I parked the Grand Prix in her driveway next to her older Camaro. Jason got out and looked around. I sat in the car debating if this was the right thing to do. My mind and body were having another argument. I could feel the pull in my chest. I pushed my sunglasses up the bridge of my nose, covering my eyes more completely. Even the dim winter sun hurt my eyes. Finally I got out.

  “Could bring a meal out here and no one would know.” Jason said, hands on his hips. He surveyed the wooded area, nodding.

  We heard Ash call from the clearing: “Verloren! I’m down here!” I walked past the garage toward the stairs, with Jason at my heels. The fallen leaves crunched under his feet.

  When I reached the top of the stairs I saw her. She’d loaded the ring with wood and started a fire. Now she stood there, her eyes shaded by my sunglasses, and her aura beaming. She jogged toward me. I felt the magnetic pull, and almost fell down the stairs.

  For a moment I saw Ash in a different setting. Flashing images blinded me, and I stumbled. My body twitched in a spasm.

  “Hey! Watch what you’re doing asshole,” Jason snapped as he nearly ran into me.

  “Fuck off,” I mumbled.

  Ash saw Jason and stopped. “Oh! You brought someone.”

  She jabbed her hands in pockets, shrinking like a wilting flower. She faked a smile, then bit her lip.

  I went down the stairs toward her. The pull in my chest made it impossible to do otherwise. Jason followed.

  “You remember Jason Zurk from the store, right?” I said.

  “Yeah, I do.” She stood, fidgeting.

  As we walked toward her I abandoned my habitual vampire’s stealth, and let my feet crunch dead leaves. I didn’t want her to notice anything out of the ordinary. I would drop my human facade soon enough, but first I wanted her to trust me. Instead she looked as if she was having a panic attack.

  “Are you okay with him being here?” I asked.

  “Um…yeah. I’m just nervous around new people. You’ve seen that for yourself, Verloren.” She smiled, shifting her hands in her sweatshirt pockets.

  “Don’t be afraid of Jason. The worst he’ll do is ask you out on a date,” I said. I glanced at him. He glared back at me.

  Ash giggled, her eyes darting between Jason and me. She blushed and looked down at her shoes.

  I watched Jason. Finally he was accepting the fact that I was not going to let him be with her. He squinted at me and clenched his jaw. I’m sure he wanted to go back to town, but I had him there for a reason. He huffed and closed his eyes.

  I smiled at Ash. “I brought him here to show you something,” I said.

  “You did?” Jason stared at me.

  I nodded and smiled, hoping he would go along. “Yes,” I said. “I did.” I approached Ash, then turned so we were both facing Jason. I spoke to her while keeping my eyes on him. “Ash, remember how I told you that once you find out what your soul is, you can shift into that entity?”

  “Yes?”

  I saw Jason stiffen, and knew he didn’t approve. Nevertheless, he’d come this far, and it would be difficult for him to stop now. I was counting on that.

  “Jason, please,” I said. “You do the honors.”

  “This isn’t exactly how this is suppose to go, Verloren,” he said.

  I knew he was reluctant to shift in front of someone who didn’t yet know. It could be terrifying, and it violated the most basic laws of the Quatre.

  I flashed on Sara. In these visions she was still a child, though I realized that she must be a grown woman by now. I took a deep breath, recovering from the thought. “It…it will be fine,” I said. “Trust me.” I looked at Ash. “You said you love horror movies, right? You’re about to see what a real werewolf looks like.”

  “Really?” She glanced at both of us. “Oh, I get it. You guys are just messing with me.”

  I saw that Jason was pissed at me. That wasn’t a problem. Anger helped a werewolf change faster.

  “No,” I said. “No joke. Watch.”

  Jason and I locked eyes. I nodded. He pursed his lips, gave me a look, then unzipped his coat and let it fall. He slowly peeled off his shirt. He glanced at me, hoping I would change my mind. I didn’t.

  “All right then.” He rolled his eyes, kicked off his shoes, and unzipped his pants. He held them below his hips so they would not fall.

  Ash averted her eyes. Her cheeks burned red.

  “Don’t look away,” I said. I touched her chin. Her skin was ice cold. I coaxed her head up. “You’re not going to want to miss this.”

  She looked straight at him. As his eyes glowed yellow, he threw himself into the shift. It happened in an instant. One moment he was a man, then he was something else. His skin turned a dark rust color. He raised his wolf-like face to hers. She stumbled backward.

&nbs
p; His pants were too tight, and if he moved much they would rip. He lowered his arms to the ground. His hands and feet still looked human except for his razor sharp claws. Her eyes widened. Down on all fours he was shorter than her. He cocked his head. His chest had expanded in size. Always muscular, Jason now seemed massive.

  Ash touched his shoulder. He bared his teeth and growled softly. Though she was terrified, she withdrew her fingers with reluctance.

  Then it was done. Jason shifted back to his human form and stood upright.

  “Don’t pet me!” he snapped at her. “I’m not a dog!” He pulled up his pants and buckled them, then finished dressing. “I left my smokes in the car,” he said, and headed for the stairs.

  Despite the sunglasses, I could see she was on the verge of tears. “I just wanted to make sure he was real,” she breathed, fighting tears. She looked at me. “This is real, right?”

  I nodded, realizing for the first time that Ash was emotionally fragile. Was this the right thing for her? Maybe she wasn’t cut out for it. I wondered if I should have Jessica resend her soul. The world we lived in wasn’t designed for delicate beings like her.

  I put my hand on her shoulder. “Come here,” I whispered, drawing her close. As I inhaled her scent I knew I could not let her go. I’d lived on my Spartan diet of occasional meals for too long. I needed her; I couldn’t let anyone or anything take her away. If I could have her near I would never need anything. My connection with her was unbreakable. I would protect her with my life.

  “It’s okay,” I whispered. “Jason is just a jerk.” I looked around. “Where is your dog?” I asked.

  Before she could answer Jason reappeared at the top of the stairs. He stared at us embracing, his cigarette nearly falling from his lips. He knew I was furious at him for speaking to her the way he had. As he neared us he watched me closely.

  Ash wiped tears from under her sunglasses, and concentrated on my question about her dog. “A friend of mine loves Pogo to death. I told him that I was really busy this weekend and he volunteered to dog-sit.”

  Jason puffed on his cigarette. “Now that we got that out of the way, lets get this party started,” he said. He blew smoke in my face.

  “So where will you be most comfortable?” I asked. “This might take awhile.”

  “I thought I might sit by the fire,” she said, shrugging.

  Jason threw a few handfuls of dead leaves on the fire to keep it going, then started gathering sticks and adding them on. He pretended not to hear us. That didn’t matter. He knew how this went.

  Ash sat, legs crossed, and eyes shut, facing the fire, as I read from Jessica’s book. She listened to every word I said, right to the end.

  Jason finally sat down on a fallen tree trunk closer to the river. He said nothing. He knew Ash would need to concentrate if she were to have any chance at all. She was over two decades old, and that meant the process might not work. As I read to her I thought: What if I had never found out? What if I’d had to live with this insanity without ever knowing? I kept looking up from the book, knowing I would never meet another like her. No one else could have that aura. Yet I knew we might fail. If that happened I was supposed to call Jessica. Ash knew too much. Telling her these things made her a huge risk. Yet I had made up my mind, I would not call Jessica. There was nothing Jason could do to stop me.

  Jason cooperated, remaining silent. This guided meditation was a type of hypnosis taking Ash back before birth. She needed to envision a safe area. If I could get her there, then we could explore the possibilities and learn what kind of an incarnate she was.

  When we reached the safe area I said: “Okay, Ash, you’re in your safe place. Envision it filling with fog. There is nothing threatening about this fog. Imagine it getting denser.” From the corner of my eye I saw Jason sit up straight. He knew it was coming.

  “The fog is getting thicker and thicker,” I went on. “You put your hand out in front of you, but the fog is so thick, you cannot see your hand.” I waited for her to visualize it. “Now it’s so thick you can see nothing but the fog.” I waited a few moments. My heart pounded. I stifled my terror.

  “While you are enveloped in this fog you hear something in the distance. You are not afraid. This is the sound of your incarnate approaching. How does it sound?” I paused. Her face tightened. She concentrated on something distant. The flames in the pit grew taller. I felt the tug of her.

  “It is drawing closer. You hear it more clearly. It’s coming closer and closer, and you are completely safe. It’s so close you can reach through the fog and touch it.” She raised her hands, and stretched close to the fire. Jason was literally on the edge of his seat.

  “You run your hand across it. It makes a noise. Do you feel fur, feathers, scales? What do you feel?”

  With her eyes still closed she moved her hands. The flames throbbed like glowing pulse beats. Ash reached high, as if she were touching something large.

  I consulted Jessica’s book, and said: “This is you. This is what you are. Now the fog will clear, revealing what you have been feeling and hearing.” My heart roared in my ears. It was as if her transformation was for me and me only. My chest tightened. I sensed something from Jason—a threat? “The fog is falling away faster and faster now. What do you see?”

  Her face was upturned and her eyes were still shut. Her mouth fell open.

  I turned and saw Jason standing, staring at her. He saw me, but his attention was on her. He was as riveted as I was. I felt paralyzed. I tried to relax. After what seemed like an eternity I stepped toward her silently. She was still frozen. It hadn’t worked.

  Disappointment flooded the void within me. What would I do? Call Jessica? The idea made me choke. I touched her shoulder and whispered: “Ash?”

  Suddenly I saw sky. My ears rang, and I heard Jason screaming. I sat up and felt a sudden sharp pain in my head. As I touched the spot I felt a horrible pressure building in my skull.

  Then I saw it: a massive foot with large talons protruding from where her fingers had been. Its scaly blackness reminded me of a snake. I blinked my eyes. It was bright, and I had lost my sunglasses. It had four feet. I wasn’t completely sure if I was seeing double or not. Between pressure and sunlight I could barely open my eyes. I followed the feet up to muscular legs and a huge, cat-like body covered in black scales. They had an unusual sheen.

  I got to my feet, and saw that its back was as high as my head and humped. My pain ebbed. I was recovering. Something big was swinging—a tail. The neck was five feet long, and the reptilian head had fin-like spines running over it. Two horns spiraled from its forehead. Its eyes were solid red.

  As soon as I made eye contact with it I fell backward. Flashing images threw me into convulsions. I heard a scream, and saw Ash morphing into the child, Sara. Finally everything stopped. I lay on the ground panting, my back arching. I sobbed, but there were no tears. Vampires can’t cry.

  A sound like a cat’s purring brought me back to my senses. I rolled onto my side, trying to catch my breath. Jason was screaming, but I couldn’t hear the words. I squinted, shielding my eyes from the sun. That’s when I heard what Jason was shouting: “A fucking dinosaur! She’s a dinosaur! Run! Run before she fucking eats you!” He aimed his gun at her.

  Then it happened. Two lumps on the creature’s back opened, giving way to two bat-like wings. Thin black membranes stretched between the spines.

  Now I knew the truth.

  Jason’s hands shook so hard he could barely keep hold of his gun.

  “Put the fucking gun away, Jason!” I shouted. “She’s no dinosaur. She’s a dragon.”

  “Holy Shit!” Jason breathed. He lowered his gun, and stared wide-eyed. “Is she gonna eat us?”

  No! I’m not going to eat you! Verloren are you okay?

  Jason and I both froze. His eyes looked like they might pop from his head.

  “You heard that, right?” I asked. He nodded.

  We’d heard Ash’s voice, but the creature’s
mouth hadn’t moved.

  “Ash?” I asked.

  Yes.

  “There’s some kind of reverse mind reading going on,” I said. “We can hear what you’re thinking.”

  Yes. I can read your minds too. So…how the hell do I change back?

  Chapter 10

  WEREWOLF PROPOSITION

  “Like you’re sucking in your stomach muscles, but do it with your whole body.” Jason stood half naked in the clearing. He shifted to his werewolf persona. Tensing his body, he pulled his arms in and his chest rose. He quickly fell back into human form, grabbing his jeans before they fell.

  Okay, I see. I can see it in your head.

  Jason and I both heard her thoughts perfectly.

  Through the afternoon Jason worked with Ash showing her how to shift back and forth between her human and dragon forms. It was the main reason I’d brought him, though neither of us had dreamed what shape she’d be taking. This was one area where I wasn’t much help. A vampire doesn’t change. With a little practice Ash learned how. She became a dragon, then morphed back to her human form. That ended with her standing naked by the fire.

  Embarrassed and vulnerable, she spun away from me, but not before I noticed how voluptuous she was. Her light brown hair spilled over her shoulders and almost covered her breasts. Under all that clothing she wore she was curvy: full breasts, small waist, and full hips. I noticed also a glint of silver from piercings that adorned her nipples.

  When she turned away it was like a slap in the face. The black mark I’d seen on her wrist was part of a larger tattoo: the tip of a tail that snaked up her arm, then centered on her back. One hand was outstretched to one side of her buttocks, and the head was centered in the small of her back. Its wings opened onto her sides, and its tail started up on her shoulder, then wrapped around her arm ending at her wrist. A dragon.

  Jason ogled her, pissing me off. I took off my black trench coat, walked up behind her, and draped it over her shoulders.

  “Thank you,” she said, her cheeks burning scarlet red. As she buttoned the coat she said clearly: “Just so you know Jason, that mind reading thing isn’t turned off.” She turned and stared at him. “I know exactly what is going on in your head.”