Grasping at Eternity (The Kindrily)

by Karen Amanda Hooper

  The cold had almost completely numbed my hands and feet. I dropped the flashlight and almost fell down, but I played off my swaying and settled onto the blanket. I leaned back against a tree and took another sip of dirt tea. River hummed a song I’d heard him sing before, but I couldn’t remember the words, which was strange because I never forgot lyrics.

  He fiddled for something in his pocket. “Are you stoked to talk to your family?”

  “It would mean the world to me.” My lips felt fuzzy and when I rubbed them together they became numb.

  River clicked on a black-light keychain. “This is a scorpion finder. See, this place has a unique ecosystem. The lake has no fish because of the high carbon dioxide in the water, but scorpions and leeches live here. They come out at night to feed.”

  “Gross,” I murmured. My lips were stuck together. I couldn’t move my tongue. A wave of panic ran through me as I made a muffled sound in my throat.

  River leaned closer, illuminating his face with the black light. His pupils were huge. “Looks like the tea is working.”

  I tried to make another noise, but nothing happened.

  “As I was saying,” River went on, “scorpions even hang out in the trees.” He shined the black light right above me. “Careful, some are crawling on the tree you’re leaning against.”

  I tried to leap up off the ground, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t just my voice or face. My whole body was numb. My neck muscles went limp, and my head bobbed forward. What the hell was going on?

  River pushed my head back up. “The tea has some not-so-natural stuff in it, drugs that paralyze your muscles, but still let your mind work—kind of.” He caressed my face. “Don’t worry. You won’t need to move for what I have planned.”

  Dread sank in. River drugged me? I knew about date rape drugs and to never accept a drink from a stranger, but this was my friend! Panic rushed through me with such intensity that my body should’ve been shaking.

  “My uncle has been trying to rid this world of people like the Luna Lunatics for years. They’re part of some power-hungry cult. He warned me about your makeshift family and their delusions about having magic powers or whatever. At first you were just an assignment. I had to keep an eye on you and report anything suspicious. If I did my job well, he’d keep providing me with money, cars, and whatever I needed.” He stood up and paced above me. “But then I really fell for you. I told my uncle you were different from the Lunas, that if you knew about their reincarnation cult you’d never stay with them.”

  His steps grew quicker. “Why couldn’t you just agree to be with me? I don’t know what else I could’ve done to win you over. I drive the best cars, I’m rich and good looking, I’m going to be a rock star for god’s sake!”

  He leaned down, looking into my eyes. “My uncle gave me no choice. The house is bugged. He knows you know about everything. He knows you defended them. He heard you say we’d never be anything but friends. If I don’t do this, then I lose everything. I’ll have nowhere to live, no car, no money, no future whatsoever.”

  Do what? What did River have to do to keep his snooty lifestyle? And why did his uncle care so much about any of this? He lived overseas!

  “That family doesn’t deserve you. I know you’d rather be with your parents anyway.” He fumbled through his bag. “I didn’t want it to end like this, but at least you’ll get to be with your real family again.”

  I’d never known true terror until that second. I wanted to cry, scream, to plead for mercy, but I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even shut my eyes.

  “You won’t feel any pain. That’s why I made the tea. Between the leeches and scorpions, all evidence of your body will be erased. Those Luna freaks will think you ran away from their deranged little world.” He bent down in front of me again. “I’ll take good care of you.”

  I wanted to spit on him and claw his eyes out.

  “I know your brain is working. I’ve tried this tea a few times, so I know what you’re going through. I wanted to be able to tell you why I had to do this. You deserved an explanation.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a roll of duct tape. “This stuff is so strong it doesn’t lose its hold, even in water. We just need a big rock so you’ll sink to the bottom.”

  How could he do this? How could he give a step by step play of his plans to murder me? Did he have no heart or conscience? He disappeared from view for a minute, but returned rolling a boulder half his size. He dragged me to it and spun me around. I couldn’t feel it, but my back was against the rock.

  “Experts aren’t sure how deep the water is.” He struggled to catch his breath. “They tried to explore it with scuba equipment, but when they reached fifty feet, the divers couldn’t see through the wall of leeches.”

  I didn’t know if he could see the horror in my eyes, but I was petrified. Why couldn’t my brain shut down like the rest of my body?

  He lifted my hand into his. “You don’t think I’d throw you in there while you’re conscious do you? I’d never do something so evil.” He drew a heart on my palm with his finger. It was the only time during this nightmare that I was glad I couldn’t feel anything. “It’s the shooting you part I’m not looking forward to.”

  Oh god! Why wasn’t my heart pounding? Was I already dying? River pulled out a gun and placed it next to the bag. The dense sound of duct tape being reeled off its roll echoed to the side of me.

  “I’m sorry my uncle is forcing me to do this, but you’ll be on the other side in seconds.”

  He circled me, wrapping the tape around me and the rock. I kept waiting to feel the tight binding against my chest, but physically I was numb. My mental hell, however, got worse with each passing second.

  Months ago, I wouldn’t have cared about the gruesome way my life was ending. I would’ve been thrilled to be reunited with my family, no matter how I got there. But now, I didn’t want to die. I wanted to fight for my life. I wanted to fight harder than I’d ever fought for anything.

  Faces flashed before my eyes. Krista, Aunt Sandy and Uncle Dave, Louise and Anthony, what would they think if they heard I went missing? Faith had warned me. Carson warned me. They knew River was bad, but I didn’t listen.

  “I left something in the truck. Be right back.” River’s footsteps trampled away.

  My cell phone rang underneath me. Probably Faith or Krista calling to check on me. I started sobbing inside. My soul ached as I thought of one last person, the one person I wanted to see more than anyone, more than any god or angel who might save me from River. I wanted to see Nathan.

  My intuition whispered the same words it did on the night of the attack.

  Concentrate on the eyes.

  Except, it wasn’t intuition. It was my own voice. Four words from another time or place that I promised myself I’d remember. Concentrate on his eyes.

  The truth hit me like a Mack truck. Nathan had been there the night I was attacked. At first, I saw him like in a dream, but then he was really there. Krista said my “dreams” were real. Somehow I must have communicated with him. He knew I was in danger so he traversed to me.

  He was the only one who could get here in time. I needed to dream or travel or do whatever I did before. But how could I? My eyes wouldn’t shut.

  I stared at the dark water in front of me, watching one fallen branch bob repeatedly, up and down, but my mind wouldn’t relax. At the very bottom of my scope of vision I could see my ring resting against my thigh.

  Eye. Concentrate on the eye. I could do this. I had to.

  I focused on the eye of the peacock feather, remembering how it swirled and shimmered in my dreams—in my astral travels. A glimmering wave danced under the glass.

  Yes, I mentally begged. Please work.

  A beam of light formed a tunnel between me and the ring. The dark, horrific nightmare disappeared behind me. The tunnel grew brighter and I kept being pulled forward until I saw Nathan’s eyes. Green and gorgeous. Beams from an emerald sun. Enough love to fill eternity.r />
  Nathan. Nathan. Nathaniel…

  He stood on the balcony of a hotel room, staring at a sky full of stars.

  “Nathan!” I shouted.

  He blinked then shook his head and leaned against the railing, staring into the drink he was holding.

  I waved my hands in front of him. “I’m here! Please hear me. I need your help!”

  He took a deep breath and stood up straight, lifting his face to the sky. “And the stars will weep for those who have fallen, haunted by the light that once shone beside them.”

  “I’m here! It’s me!” I tried to shove him. “Feel me!”

  He raised his glass to his lips.

  Frustrated, I swung at him. My hand went through him, but his glass slipped and shattered at his feet. He stepped away from it and looked around the balcony.

  I stayed close, hovering in front of his face. “Yes. It was me!”

  He moaned, clasping his hands over his ears.

  My body, or whatever I was, kept passing through his. “No. Don’t block me out! I need your help!”

  He dropped his hands. “Stop haunting me.”

  I tried grabbing his face, but it was impossible with no hands. I wanted to cry and scream all at once.

  Rays of light and swirls of colors formed all around Nathan. It looked just like one of Louise’s paintings, the one I’d seen hanging in Nathan’s room. I imagined myself as a shimmering cloud of color and pressed myself against him, hugging him with all the desperation and fear inside me. “Please, Nathaniel, help me. River is going to murder me.”

  He stared right at me. He looked where my eyes would’ve been if I really was in front of him.

  “Please,” I begged.

  He vanished.

  I looked at the glass balcony doors in front of me. There was no reflection of me, no colors, no signs of life, just shattered glass glistening on the ground.

  River’s sinister shouting jolted me back to Montezuma Well. “Where the hell did you come from?”

  “What have you done to her?” Nathan asked with fierce rage. He appeared in front of me, studying me with fury in his eyes.

  “Maryah’s about to be reunited with her real family.”

  River barely finished his sentence before Nathan punched him, knocking him off his feet. River let out a guttural groan when Nathan crouched over him and hit him again.

  A vapor trail of color followed every move they made. Tracers. I’d heard kids talk about hallucinations when they tripped on acid or mushrooms. They said you imagined things that weren’t real. I prayed I wasn’t imagining this. I begged for Nathan to be real.

  River grabbed Nathan by the neck and the two of them rolled into the shadows. I couldn’t see them, but I could hear them. Branches snapped. Their shoes raked and skidded though dirt and gravel. They grappled in the darkness. They sounded like rabid animals fighting to the death.

  Then, silence.

  Please don’t let Nathan be hurt. What if River killed him?

  After what felt like an eternity of eerie quietness, Nathan stepped into the pool of gold created by the flashlight. Oh, thank god!

  He rushed over and cupped my face in his hands. He still looked flawless. Definitely a hallucination. Nobody fights like that and comes away without a scratch.

  “Maryah, can you hear me?” He ripped through the tape, trying to quickly peel it off me.

  He looked so real. Seeing him should’ve sent my heart racing, but it thumped slow and steady while I sat motionless. The loud tearing of duct tape continued while I tried to scream to warn Nathan that River, all bloody and mangled, was creeping out of the dark behind him. He leaned over the duffel bag. The gun! Nathan had no idea there was a gun.

  “Nathaaan!” River sounded as psychotic as he looked.

  Nathan turned to face him and took several steps to the left of me. In a calm voice he said, “You’ll have to kill me to get to her.”

  River coughed up blood and swayed on his feet. “How noble. Total ladies man, huh?”

  “More of a man than you will ever be.”

  “Don’t push it. I’m the one holding the gun!”

  “Then shoot me.”

  The gun fired but Nathan instantly disappeared. He reappeared just as fast in front of River. Then another gun shot rang through the air.

  I thought my heart might explode. I waited for Nathan to fall. Instead, River groaned and slumped to the ground. The switch happened so fast I didn’t realize Nathan had the gun.

  He emptied the remaining bullets, shoved it in the back of his pants and walked over to me then gently pressed my eyelids shut. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

  Nathan’s ragged breathing and the remaining tape being peeled away from my jacket almost drowned out River cussing and pleading for help. Nathan lifted me into his arms and carried me a few steps before placing me down again. He delicately opened my eyelids. “Can you hear me? You’re a fighter, Maryah. Fight to stay with me.”

  This was real. I wasn’t going to die. Nathan put a cell phone to his ear, but never took his eyes off mine.

  “Harmony, I’m at Montezuma—” I heard the murmur of Harmony’s voice on the other end. “How did you know?” Nathan asked. There was more murmuring. “Who’s with you?” More murmuring. “We’ll be in the parking lot. Hurry. I can’t call 911 until you get here with a vehicle.”

  He whispered as he caressed my face. “I’ll only be gone for two seconds.”

  Nathan returned with the blanket and wrapped it around me. He carried me up the stairway to the top of the well. I wanted to hug him but my arms wouldn’t work, so I just listened to him breathe. A few minutes later he set me down on the sidewalk by the parking lot. He sat, facing me, his knees on either side of mine. My ears buzzed, but they didn’t hurt.

  “I have to keep you warm.” He rubbed his hands up and down my back and arms.

  I thought a tear was forming in his eye, but then it glimmered with gold and silver. I concentrated on it, trying to figure out where the sparkle came from.

  That’s when my world spiraled out of control.

  At first there were only intense colors, like looking at his irises through a magical microscope. Every line, speck, and difference of color became life-sized. Incredible shades of blue, green, silver, and gold three-dimensional shapes danced around us. I didn’t want to look away, but he pulled me toward him and kissed my forehead.

  I felt it. His warm lips against my skin. I could feel it!

  A symphony of music sang through my veins. My body gave one involuntary jerk as rapture rushed through me. He hugged me and a beautiful song that slowly grew more familiar pulsed throughout my whole being.

  Flashes of scenes played in my head: Nathan’s voice, his laugh, his love. Different places, different bodies, even different faces, but eyes that never changed—bottomless pools of detailed light that could never be mistaken for anyone else’s. They were memories, my memories of Nathan, of us. Louise had told my mother the truth.

  The buzzing in my ears diminished to a faint ringing. My visions were choppy, but they were real. More joy than I ever thought possible coursed through me. I loved Nathan more than anything in this world. I had loved him for ages. The excitement made me convulse.

  Nathan held me tighter until my body calmed. “I know it’s cold. It won’t be long.”

  He pulled out his phone and after four beeps said, “My name is Nathaniel Luna. I’m in the parking lot of Montezuma Wells. A kid has been shot and another friend appears to be drugged and in shock. Please send help right away.”

  Minutes later, the lights of Carson’s Mustang and Shiloh’s truck lit up the darkness. Chaos erupted all around us, but Nathan didn’t let go of me. Carson whooshed by us at sonic speed. Faith wrapped her arms around me. I was so happy to see everyone.

  “Extreme happiness,” she said all perplexed. “I think she’s okay.” She let go and looked at me. “Oh sweetie, we were crazy worried. Your parents told Harmony you were here and that
River was…ugh, I can’t even say it!”

  My parents. They must’ve been horrified watching all of this.

  Faith turned to Nathan. “We’ve been trying to reach you for days. Maryah knows everything. She’s not taking it well, but she knows.”

  Nathan squinted and moved his face closer to mine. His jaw went slack and a cloud from his warm breath formed between us. I wanted to part my lips, to breathe him in.

  “Does she remember anything?” he asked.

  “No, nothing,” Faith whispered from behind me.

  No! I wanted to shout. I do remember!

  “How did you know she was here?” Faith asked.

  Harmony yelled for Nathan from somewhere in the distance. “Long story.” He squeezed my hands then disappeared. The traversing thing still shocked me.

  I was trembling again. I wasn’t sure if it was from being overwhelmed, or shivering, but Faith had her arms around me in an instant. She yelled for Shiloh and he wrapped his arms around both of us.

  “We love you too,” Faith said. “I know it’s cold, but hang in there.”

  Nathan and Harmony came back and joined the group. Nathan explained they all needed to have the same story. He recited the details as sirens wailed in the distance.

  “Maryah informed everyone that she was going out with River,” Nathan said. “The four of us were out late and witnessed River’s truck swerving on the road. We noticed Maryah in the passenger seat, followed them out here, and lost them on the unpaved trail. Upon arriving at the lot, I ran down to the well. You four remained at the top. You heard two gun shots—several seconds apart.”

  Shiloh put his arm on Nathan’s shoulder. “I’ll say I went with you and witnessed it.”

  “No,” Nathan said. “No one lies more than is critically necessary.”

  “But, Nate,” Carson started, “River will tell the police about you appearing out of nowhere.”

  Harmony waved her hand. “I forced tea down the bastard’s throat. They’ll assume he hallucinated. Remind me again why can’t we kill him?”

  “We should call Dylan,” Faith said.

  Nathan shook his head. “He’ll be too late. He can handle the repercussions later as needed.”