Instant Family

by Donna Gartshore

  “It sounds like we’ll be able to work that out,” Ben said. “Also, it won’t be part of his official hours, but I’m going to talk to Irma about how good Danny was with Dad and see if I can give her a bit of a reprieve by having Danny come over here sometimes. I thought that...”

  Frankie’s concerns on the matter showed on her face and Ben stopped what he was going to say and asked, “What’s the matter?”

  “How much do you think he’ll be around here?” she asked, hearing her own voice betray her apprehension.

  “Not all that often,” Ben said. “I thought this was a good thing? That it was the way we wanted it to work out?”

  “Oh, I’m definitely happy about the community-service aspect,” Frankie said. “But I don’t know how much I want Danny to be around Rae—you heard the way he talked to her.”

  “And I heard her put him in his place pretty quickly,” Ben said with a chuckle.

  “True, but still...”

  “We’ll work it out,” Ben said. “If it causes any worry or concern for you, we don’t have to do it. I would never want to do anything that made you or Rae uncomfortable.”

  “Well, he is really good with Al,” Frankie conceded. “Maybe we can see how it goes.”

  “We’ll figure it out,” Ben agreed. “I promise.”

  * * *

  Ben asked himself why he was making promises that he really had no right to be making. It was so easy to say we like he and Frankie were in some kind of partnership, but what was going to happen when the summer was over? Already the days felt like they were on fast-forward, hurtling him toward the time when he had to put Al into a care facility. It wasn’t fair to anyone, including himself, to focus on anything else...no matter how enticing he found Frankie, which he realized more and more that he did. Once again he reminded himself that there was no point wanting something he couldn’t have...especially when he didn’t deserve it.

  Sadness clutched him in its dreary grip. In some ways he wished he had never met Frankie, because then he might be able to stop thinking about what he was missing.

  * * *

  Rae was ready and waiting for Frankie when she returned to the library at the designated time. Her forehead, cheeks and hands were sprinkled with a rainbow of paint colors, and her hair had completely given up her braids and fuzzed softly around her face. Her eyes were bright with excitement and she grinned widely.

  Frankie couldn’t help an answering grin to her beaming daughter.

  “You look like you had a great day,” she said. “And a slightly messy one.”

  Rae looked down at herself and appeared genuinely surprised, which made Frankie smile again, but in a more secret way.

  “What did you work on?” she asked as they started to walk home. “Do you want me to carry that for you?”

  Rae walked with her arms spread wide, balancing a rolled-up canvas between them.

  “No, I’m good.” She staggered a little, slightly out of breath.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Uh-huh,” Rae said.

  “So, what is that?” Frankie asked again. “What did you work on?”

  “It’s a surprise,” Rae said.

  Frankie nodded, then blinked in surprise when her daughter added, “It’s for Al, a surprise for Al.”

  Frankie stopped walking. “Really?” she asked.

  Rae stopped, too. “Yes,” she said, shuffling with embarrassment. “I just thought he might like a picture to put up when he has to go live somewhere else. I thought it could help to make him feel at home. What’s wrong, Mom?” she asked, uneasily. “Did I do something wrong?”

  “No, Sweet Pea.” Frankie swallowed. “You didn’t do anything wrong at all. I’m just so touched that you would think of something like that.”

  They began to walk again. “You’re right that Al will have to go live somewhere else,” Frankie remarked. “How did you know that?”

  “I hear people talking,” Rae confessed. “A lot of people know Al and Ben, and everybody’s kind of worried about them. I’ve heard you and Ben talking, too.”

  For the umpteenth time, Frankie was reminded that her daughter’s young-for-her-age appearance and awkward ways masked an intuitive heart.

  “When is Al going to move?” Rae asked.

  “I think Ben plans to move him when summer is over,” Frankie replied. “But it’s not going to be easy for either of them.”

  “Because it will make Ben sad, right?”

  Frankie nodded. “Very sad.”

  Rae slowed her pace again and furrowed her brow, considering. “It’s hard on a person, being sad,” she said, sounding suddenly years older than her actual age.

  “Yes, it is,” Frankie agreed, and waited.

  “A while back I was sad all the time,” Rae continued. “I’m not anymore.”

  Frankie sent up a silent prayer of thanks.

  “I don’t want Ben to be sad, either,” Rae said. “I like Ben, I just...” She shrugged and averted her eyes, returning to the ten-year-old that she was.

  “I know, Rae. I understand.”

  Maybe, Frankie thought, with God’s help, there was a chance that her friendship with Ben could last beyond the summer. But did that mean she was admitting that she wanted it to?

  Back at their cabin, Rae carefully unfurled the picture she had made for Al and spread it out on the kitchen table for Frankie to look at.

  It was not a professional work of art, by any means. It was the work of a gifted child, but still unmistakably the work of a child. Yet, Rae had captured the rustic look of the cabins, the majesty of the pines, and the tempestuous grays and blues of the sky.

  “Do you think Al will like it?” she asked.

  “I think he will love it,” Frankie said. “And I think he’s very fortunate to have a friend like you who cares so much about him.”

  “Maybe we can go visit him,” Rae suggested. “I mean wherever he ends up living.”

  “Maybe so,” Frankie said, not wanting to make a promise she couldn’t keep. “Now, you must be hungry. What should we make?”

  “Hot dogs! Or maybe grilled cheese sandwiches?”

  “Okay, let’s get your picture off the table so that nothing happens to it.”

  As they tidied up and got things ready for an early supper, Frankie thought how nice it would be if she was able to tell Rae that for sure they would visit Al.

  She let her mind wander as she buttered bread and got out cheese slices. What if she and Ben actually did keep in touch after the time at the lake was over? Regina and Saskatoon weren’t an unreasonable distance apart, and these days, distances could be easily overcome by phone, text, email and Facebook.

  What did it all mean, she wondered, as she rummaged in the cupboard for a can of tomato soup. Why did it suddenly matter to her that they keep in touch?

  Was it possible that her heart was actually starting to open to Ben?

  Frankie thought about everything Ben had done for them. She thought about his love for his father, and the dignity and respect he afforded him as Alzheimer’s gnawed at the older man’s mind. She thought about his natural relationship with God and the way it had helped her come to terms with her own struggles. And she thought about those kisses...

  * * *

  What happens next? she prayed. Was God trying to tell her that she would have to be satisfied just to know her heart could be brought back to life? But a sudden image of Ben’s blue eyes sent her emotions spiraling again.

  Rae hummed under her breath as she carefully folded two paper napkins and laid one by each plate. Frankie arranged carrot sticks and tomatoes on a plate.

  “So, Danny had court today,” Frankie said, feeling her daughter out on the subject.

  “What happened?” Rae asked, pausing with a spoon clutched in her hand. “Does he have to go to
jail?”

  “No, thankfully. The judge decided that he could have the chance to apologize to the community by helping with work that needs to be done around here.”

  Rae considered this and nodded, placing the spoon down by her bowl. “That’s good, then.”

  “That is good,” Frankie agreed. “Rae...how would you feel about Danny being over at Ben’s cabin in the evenings sometimes?”

  “What for?” Rae questioned in a suspicious tone.

  “Ben thinks he might be some help with Al. They seemed to get along pretty well, didn’t you think?”

  “I get along with Al!” Rae declared, folding her arms. “And I can help him.”

  “Yes, that’s very true but...”

  At that moment, an exclamation of dismay from outside caught Frankie’s attention and she hurried to the door in time to see Ben rush out of his cabin, wearing oven mitts and clutching a pan that teemed with flames.

  Frankie gasped and rushed outside, but Ben, acting quickly, had grabbed a nearby garden hose and doused the flames.

  “What happened?” Frankie cried. Rae had come outside, too, to see what all of the commotion was.

  “I fell asleep,” Ben said. Guilt and fatigue hung on his face, and Frankie felt an ache for him that went right into her bones.

  “I fell asleep,” he said again. “And Dad decided he would try to make supper.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Ben read the sympathy that struggled with the fear on Frankie’s face and it didn’t help him to feel any better. Rae had her hands clapped over her mouth and again reminded him of the timid little girl he had first met.

  He could only imagine the sight he had made as he fled the cabin, carrying the burning pot like an unwelcome offering.

  He didn’t know why he should feel guilty and embarrassed—he hadn’t done it. However, he was the one who had fallen asleep and, in that regard, he was responsible.

  He didn’t dare imagine how much worse it could have been, and the shock of it kept his prayers coiled away from thanking God that it hadn’t been worse. He couldn’t get past thinking that it was bad enough it had happened in the first place.

  “What can I do to help?” Frankie’s quiet voice broke through his churning thoughts.

  Ben looked at her and saw that she had willfully steadied herself and pushed her own feelings behind a professional, compassionate demeanor.

  “Is Al okay?” Rae whispered. She hugged herself like her stomach ached.

  “Yes, he’s okay,” Ben answered her first, then turned to Frankie.

  “I don’t think there’s anything to be done now. Dad’s sitting in the cabin, probably wondering what I’m doing out here and what happened to his supper.”

  Ben heard the slight resentment in his voice, and he quickly prayed to rid himself of it. But, the thing was, he was just plain tired in all kinds of ways, and today’s incident was a glaring, potentially dangerous reminder of that.

  “I suppose,” he said. “I’d better get back to him.”

  “I’m making soup and sandwiches,” Frankie said. “Why don’t I bring some over?”

  “Thanks, but I’m not sure how hungry I am.”

  “You don’t have to eat.” Her brown eyes were filled with concern. “But I don’t think you should be alone.”

  How was it, Ben wondered, that this summer had turned into such a different experience from the one he had hoped for? Or expected? On the one hand, his hopes of forming new memories at Silver Lake with his father seemed to have been shattered. But, on the other hand, this wonderful, strong and spirited woman and her awkward, creative daughter had touched his summer in such a way that he could hardly remember a time when he hadn’t known them.

  He couldn’t put that into words and didn’t even know what it meant. So, he simply said, “That would be nice, thank you.”

  * * *

  The next day it poured rain and the sky was illuminated with lightning.

  “Ow!” Al declared loudly with each clap of thunder. “Stop it!” he raged, shaking his fist at the sky.

  “Ah, Dad,” Ben sighed. “Have you decided you’re not even going to be friends with God anymore?”

  He tried to get his father occupied with his seashells, but it was to no avail, as the noise of the storm kept him too agitated to sit still. Ben, unable to focus on anything of his own because of his father’s restlessness, was seriously contemplating the repercussions of cutting the holiday short. He was sure that his dad wouldn’t mind—or even really know or care. The near miss tragedy with the burning pan had convinced Ben that he was only fooling himself if he thought he could continue to take care of his father. He needed to get them both home, back to a familiar environment and start making the necessary arrangements.

  But his heart urged him not to forget that he had felt led to help Danny pay his dues, and there had to be a reason for that, even if the only reason was because he understood what it was like to be a teenage boy with bigger questions than there seemed to be answers for, so sometimes things felt like they wanted to explode and come spilling out.

  But it was more than that. Much as he wanted to fight it or deny it, he knew that it was more. He didn’t want to disappoint Frankie or Rae, not in any way. He had already dreaded the end of summer, and now he had another goodbye coming that he wasn’t in any way prepared for. He couldn’t stand the thought of it coming any sooner than it absolutely had to.

  He and Frankie had a conversation by calling out through their kitchen windows and agreed that it wasn’t exactly weather for sitting on the deck and drinking coffee. Frankie said that Rae had been distraught for five minutes over her art class being canceled, but had quickly rallied with the temptation of cinnamon toast and hot chocolate for breakfast and the chance to look at her art books all day, or at least until the rain let up, if it ever decided to.

  “Hot chocolate and leisurely reading time,” Ben said. “That does sound tempting. I don’t suppose she has any Batman comics?”

  “Um, doubtful,” Frankie said, pretending to take his request seriously. “I’ll check and get back to you.”

  Ben liked this playful side of Frankie very much, and he was glad that he’d had some opportunity to see her sense of humor.

  The laughter stilled in him as he realized that he actually missed her. They were separated by only a wet, sludgy path and already he missed her. How was that possible? Only a short time ago she had been a stranger to him, and now he didn’t want to be apart from her. Once again he pushed back the thought of summer’s end and briefly allowed himself to savor the possibility of continuing to get to know Frankie afterward.

  There was a Psalm that said that God would open His hand and give us the desires of our heart. Ben had always thought that meant that if his wishes were aligned with God’s will, then the Lord would work with him to help them come true. Now he wondered if it could mean that God would give him the desires of his heart, in that He would teach him how much he wanted something—or someone—that he hadn’t even known he had wanted.

  The previous night, after the fire incident, Frankie and Rae had come over, bearing soup and sandwiches for which Ben found he’d had more of an appetite than he’d anticipated. As he talked things through with Frankie, while Rae sat at the table with Al and made rows of stones with him, Ben began to feel something that he had not expected to feel—security and comfort. He couldn’t help allowing himself to wish for a moment that they could pursue a real relationship.

  “Stop!” his father raged at the thunder, snapping Ben back into the present. Al trembled from head to foot, wound tight with agitation.

  Ben stood beside him and tried to take his hand, but Al shook it off.

  “It’s okay, Dad,” Ben said, doing his best to soothe with his voice, instead. “It’s okay.”

  Frankie had brought him a reprieve last night, w
hich had caused some pleasant speculation. But now, Ben mused sadly, a storm still raged outside—and within his father—and much as he might wish otherwise, there were still no easy answers.

  One thing he could do, he thought, was try again to reach Danny’s grandmother to find out when and where Danny was scheduled to start his volunteer work and find out if the boy was willing to take some pointers from him.

  He got through to Irma, who was glad to hear from him and, after confirming a few things, handed the phone to her grandson. Danny sounded considerably subdued, but not sullen, and actually mumbled a thank-you when Ben said he could teach him some things that would make the work go more smoothly. They agreed to meet at the Nature Center, the site of the worst damage, early the next morning. Ben reasoned with himself that his dad would likely still be asleep and he would ask Frankie if she wouldn’t mind sticking close by. He regretted having to ask her but couldn’t see another way.

  Ben stood in the doorway of their cabin and looked across at Frankie’s through the barrier of pounding rain. We need Your help, Lord, he prayed, as, behind him, his father paced and spewed harsh words.

  * * *

  Please God, Frankie prayed. Help me know what I’m supposed to do.

  After the emergency with the burning pot had interrupted her talk with Rae about Danny spending time with Al, she hadn’t known how to raise the subject again. But, as she prayed about that, she acknowledged that it was far from being the only thing on her mind and heart, although she certainly hadn’t intended to let her blue-eyed summer neighbor play havoc with her heart. She knew that hadn’t been Ben’s intention, either. Maybe he wasn’t feeling the same things about her—she knew he was kind by nature... Yet, he had kissed her, not just once but twice, and she dared to think that it wasn’t simply her imagination when a certain soft light came into his eyes.

  Frankie reminded herself yet again that the timing was bad for both of them, but then she remembered that the Bible said there was a time and season for everything, and she considered the possibility that they should be following the Lord’s timing, not their own.