Light as a Feather

by Cameron James

  “I woke up to pee.” He said as he turned the light out. “I swear.” He added, I decided not replying was the way to go. “Jacob.” He said, I turned my head to look at him. “I guess we didn’t cover this in room inductions.” He said, I shook my head at him. “My standing on the subject is. Masturbate all you like.” He said, I’m sure he winked so I laughed.

  “Well, noted.” I said, he laughed as I heard him get back into bed.

  “Feel free to finish off.” He said, “and if I’ve made you awkward. I can make it more awkward and join you.”

  “Kian.” I said, he laughed happily as I shook my head, then I lay back down, rolling onto my stomach and burying my face into my pillow.

  Connor grinned at me as two crepes that were heavily smothered with chocolate were placed on the table in front of us. I examined Connor’s before I began to eat mine.

  “So, so let me get this clear. Kian’s gay, but Margo likes Kian.”

  “I believe.” I said as I wrapped some loose chocolate around my fork.

  “And Abi likes you.”

  “I refuse to believe.” I stated pointing my chocolatey fork at him.

  “And you like?” Connor asked, I looked away from his face.

  “What makes you think I like someone?”

  “You have that look on your face Jacob.” He said all swoony, “can I guess? Like twenty question style?” he said, I laughed.

  “No.” I replied,

  “Okay. That was question one. Question two, male or female?”

  “Yes.” I replied, he narrowed his eyes at me. “I can only answer yes or no to questions. Why don’t you remember the rules to this game?” I said, he laughed.

  “Jack used to play it, yes, no or fuck knows.” He said nodding to me, I laughed.

  “Well ask me another.”

  “Do you love them?” he cooed,

  “Fuck knows.” I replied, he began to laugh. “I like Margo.” I said nodding, he nodded back to me a slight smirk on his face. “You would like Kian.” I said, he hummed sounding intrigued.

  “I have a…” he said, then shrugged, “I have someone I like having sex with, but noted.” He said, I narrowed my eyes at him, he waved his hand at me. “And Kian is who caught you touching yourself?” he asked, I laughed then groaned.

  “Yes! And he was so understanding oh my god. It made it worse.” I said, Connor began to laugh shaking his head at me, so I ate a too big piece of my crepe.

  “If he’s okay with it, you might as well just do it. Don’t you think?” he said, “I’m sure Kian also masturbates.” He said, I snorted.

  “Alright Ste.” I replied, Connor laughed.

  “Have you told Ste yet?” he asked, I must have blushed. “How haven’t you told Ste yet? Ste would be over the moon.” He stated, I shrugged. “I told Jack.” he said, “and Hallie, the twins, Adam, Emma, and of course…”

  “Baby Willow.” I said, Connor smiled back.

  “Not quite a baby anymore. She started school last September.” He said, I shook my head slowly.

  I’d been present at Baby Willow’s christening, everyone from the home had been regardless of adoption status, and as Willow had been born to Adam and Emma, both of who we’d lived with for years it had felt important to return for her christening, and her first birthday. After that, my involvement in their life sort of dwindled.

  “They are all over the moon for you Jacob, they all know how hard you worked. You’re a success story.” He said amused, then he sighed. “I’m visiting in a few weeks, I told Ste I’d go before Christmas, so I can gage what the kid’s want.”

  “Want?” I asked, he shrugged.

  “For Christmas.” He said, I frowned at him. “I’m buying them all a Christmas present. Ste somehow managed to persuade me to dress up as Santa for them.” he said as he laughed quietly.

  “Why are you buying them all presents?” I asked, I tried not to frown at him.

  “Because I remember what it was like… do you?” he said, I looked down. “I know I was there longer than you. I know I’ve only been out for six months, but you must remember.” He said, I did remember, birthdays and Christmases were very alike. On birthdays we’d all put some money in to buy whoever was celebrating a present, usually to do with something they liked. Christmas, kind of worked the same way, but it was more Ste and Diane who worked their asses off to ensure we all got something for Christmas.

  “But that was normal for us.” I said, Connor hummed, it was agreement.

  “Yeah, but I don’t want it to be normal for them, besides, I can afford it.” he said shrugging. “Come visit with me Jacob.”

  “I will.” I said, “But it depends on school.” I added, then looked at my phone, I had half an hour before I had to leave to get home.

  “Let me know.” he said sighing, I nudged my fork against his, the metal clanged, then he smiled at me.

  “Tell me more about this Kian.”

  I opened the doors that led into the living room, throwing my bag down behind them as I did. I folded my arms the moment I got through them. I knew I’d find Max and Cameron in the living room; I hadn’t expected to find them wrapped up in each other on the couch, their mouths connected as if they needed each other to breathe. I cleared my throat. Max began laughing almost instantly as Cameron turned his head to look at me. I tilted my head at him as Max continued to kiss his neck.

  “You’re early?” Cameron said, I shook my head,

  “I’m really not.” I replied, “it was the deal. Come home, go to immediate pointe with Max then spend the weekend here.” I said, “and immediate pointe begins in an hour.” I said, Cameron turned his head to look at Max, I rolled my eyes as he continued on Cameron’s neck.

  “Back down Ballet boy.” Cameron said, pushing Max down by his chest. Max laughed as he leant his forehead on Cameron’s shoulder.

  “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” I said, Cameron laughed.

  “Not during rehearsal period. No.” He replied, Max laughed, I tilted my head at him, then sighed and put my head back.

  “I’m going to go practice. I’ll be ready for the class.” I said,

  “Ah, ah no.” Max said, so I looked at him as he raised his head. “This is our house. Not your studio and you know that.” He stated, I met his eyes. “The deal is what it has always been Jacob. You want to rehearse you do so in the studio.” He said, I sighed.

  “But I presumed you want a quick fuck before class, so.”

  “No exceptions.” Max said, I rolled my eyes.

  “And no quick fucks thank you very much.” Cameron said, I laughed. “You, go and get ready to teach.” He said to Max, he sighed. “You put your stuff away.” He said, I picked up my backpack. “I’ll make you both something to eat before you go. Okay?” He said, I nodded sighing as I did then went up the stairs.

  Max must have followed. I changed into my leotard. I pulled my purple t-shirt on over the top then stepped into my jogging bottoms and went back down the stairs, and into the kitchen where Cameron was making sandwiches.

  “He’s in a bad mood.” I said, Cameron almost laughed.

  “On the contrary, he’s in a really good mood.” He said, I sat on the dining room table, my feet on the nearest chair.

  “I beg to differ.” I said, he turned to me.

  “You know the rules.” He said, I scoffed. “Jacob, they apply to us all. You know that, you’ve always known that. Home is where you relax, it’s where you’re with your family and you don’t have to worry about anything. Home is not where you work.”

  “You run lines all the time.” I said, he pointed at me.

  “Don’t be pedantic.” He said, I laughed as Max came into the kitchen, he was dressed almost identical to me.

  “I can run the class. If you and Cameron want some alone time.” I said, wiggling my eyebrows at him, Max laughed as he ruffled my hair, then pulled me towards him so he could hug mostly my head.

  “No.” He said simply then pushed my he
ad away, Cameron passed me a sandwich.

  “I guess I’m wearing my headphones to bed then.” I said more to Cameron, he smirked.

  “It’s advisable.”

  “Thank you girls. We’ll see you next week.” Max said, as I stood beside him my hands together in front of me, as I alternated from toe to toe on pointe. The girls all curtseyed, then grabbed their bags and ran to the changing room. Max turned his head to look at me then he began to nod. I smiled back at him.

  “So, are you enjoying school?”

  “Small talk?” I asked, he laughed as he went to the sound system.

  “Yes. I’m your parent it’s allowed.” He said, I smiled as I turned to the mirror, watching as I rose onto pointe.

  “It’s hard.” I said, he looked at me. “But worth it.”

  “Good.” He said softly, then came to stand beside me.

  “Missing dancing en pointe?” he asked, I nodded to him. “Frankie and I were left alone this week, and we began to choreograph. I figure you’d enjoy it.” he said, then pressed play.

  I began to laugh as the Mission Impossible theme tune began. “Ready?” he asked, I nodded to him as he began to show me the dance. It involved a lot of pirouettes and high kicks, then, we spent twenty minutes with Max trying to teach me how to do a split jump. I managed to do it once, before we sat on the floor of the studio as Max told me how he had been the one who did the Fame jump in the production he’d met Cameron.

  “Speaking of…” he said as his phone vibrated against the floor. “We better get home, before Cameron goes full housewife on us.” He said, I laughed as I stood then went to the barre to take my pointes off.

  It was raining as we left the studio, so we both ran around the building to his car.

  “Are you happy to be there?” Max asked as we put our seatbelts on, we both sat looking out of the windscreen as the rain ran down it like a waterfall.

  “At school?” I asked, he nodded to me. “Yeah. I am. We’re just worked hard, but I presume that’s what I should expect right?”

  “Yeah.” Max said as he started the car, “Ballet school is difficult. I presume you’ll start to gather I was insanely easy on you.” He said, I smiled at him.

  “Yes, you most certainly were.” I said, he laughed. “I need contacts.” I said, he frowned at me then looked in the direction he was turning.

  “And you chose to tell me this on Saturday night.”

  “Of course.” I replied, he laughed. “I’m your child. It’s allowed.” I stated, he scoffed at me.

  “We won’t be able to get you contacts by Monday, maybe by Friday?” he said, I nodded to him.

  “Can you write me a letter for Madame Rose?” I asked, he looked at me then began to nod.

  “Madame Rose.” He repeated, I nodded.

  “But I think I prefer Miss Olivia. We meet our male teacher this week.” I added, he smiled so I looked at him. “He’s going to teach us as an all-male group. I’m not really sure what that entails.”

  “Allegro. It’s not too different. You just do all male numbers, or learn particular technique. It’s usually whilst the girls learn pointe.” He said, I began to nod to him as he reversed into our driveway.

  “Can I go to that class instead?” I said, he laughed as he turned off the car, getting out of the car. I followed. We both threw our dance bags at the bottom of the stairs then went straight into the kitchen where Cameron was laying plates onto the table.

  “Good timing boys.” He said amused as I sat myself at the table, Max grinned at him walking around the table to kiss him, then took his own seat.

  “Oh what is this?” Max asked as he picked up his fork, he began to move the pieces of salad around the plate.

  “Salad.” Cameron replied, as he took his own seat between us. “Tandoori chicken, and salad.” He said to me, I nodded to him and began to eat it as Max laughed.

  “And for dessert?” he asked, Cameron grinned lightly.

  “I brought cake, and some strawberries.” He said, Max nodded.

  “That is most certainly more like it.” Max said, I began to laugh as Cameron shook his head amused.

  “Strawberries are an aphrodisiac.” I said, then looked up as Cameron raised his eyebrow at Max. I groaned lightly making them both laugh. “Actually, I was going too.” I said, then tilted my head lightly. “Ask you guys something…”

  “Well, strawberries help blood flow, so…”

  “Max.” Cameron said laughing, “what’s up Jacob?”

  “Two questions.” I said holding up two fingers to them, they both nodded. “First… you both boarded, so I know you get it, and judge me all you like, but how do you get around the whole touching yourself and having a roommate thing?” I said, Cameron smirked as Max shook his head, a smile on his face.

  “Have you spoken to your roommate about it?” Max asked, I nodded.

  “Kian said he didn’t mind, but I do.”

  “Do you have an en-suite?” Cameron asked, I nodded to him. “Shower.” He said,

  “Oh.” I said laughing, Cameron smiled at me as I shook my head.

  “You half board Jacob.” Max said, I looked at him. “Why don’t you just do it when you come home of a weekend?” He said, I pointed at him as Cameron did. He began to laugh.

  “That might be better than just randomly starting the shower at like three am.” I said, Cameron shook his head.

  “We just used to do it during our morning shower. One of my roommates was renowned for getting a shower after our day of lessons, we all knew that he was doing it then.” He said, I laughed. “Until I got with Max, of course.” He added turning to grin at Max, who laughed.

  “Of course.” He repeated back, “we were usually too shattered to even consider it.” he said, Cameron laughed.

  “In other words. Max had a boyfriend throughout school, so didn’t actually need to relieve the need.” Cameron said, I laughed shaking my head at him, he winked at me. “But he’s right, you do half board.”

  “That’s all well and good, if I’m not highly aware that you guys are humping like bunnies all night.”

  “Oh.” Max said, as Cameron began to laugh.

  “Well, how about we make a deal?” Cameron said, I nodded to him curious of what on earth he could say. “We’ll start having sex during the week, and will leave the weekend open for if you want to touch yourself.”

  “I appreciate that.” I said amused, it made him laugh too.

  “And of course, you can ask us questions like this whenever.” Max said, I nodded.

  “I know. I figured that out through your openness about your own sex lives.” I said, Max smiled at me.

  “We only share what is a need to know.” Max said, “we never overshare.” He said, I nodded to him because I did agree. “You had a part two?” Max said, I nodded a bit warily as I used the lettuce leaf to wipe up the coleslaw and beetroot from my plate.

  “It was actually about sex.” I said, then looked up. “I’m not thinking about having it. Honestly. I’ve been there a week, I’m still single, and a virgin don’t worry... but if the opportunity were to arise.” I said, Cameron frowned at me as Max did, both were as thoughtful as each other’s.

  “What exactly are you asking?” Max said, I shook my head.

  “I don’t know.” I admitted, “but I began to think about it, and I genuinely thought that I’m so not prepared for sex, it’s actually frightening for an eighteen year old.”

  “I was like that.” Cameron said, I looked back at him. “Honestly. Leading up to when I lost my virginity, I genuinely thought I know nothing about sex, about condoms, about… even kissing. It’s not as scary as you think.”

  “If you love who you’re doing it with.” Max said, we both looked at him. “I mean sure, sex without love exists but your first time, you remember it. Everyone can say, what else happened on the day their lost their virginity.” He said, I frowned, “it was the first day back at school. Fifth year, two days after my sixteenth birth
day.” Max said, I laughed.

  “The day before I went home for Christmas in my seventh year.” Cameron said, “but if you’re not ready, or if you feel like you’re not ready. Don’t do it.”

  “Wait.” Max said nodding,

  “Do you wish you’d have waited?” I asked, Cameron shook his head, it made me smile.

  “I have to say that. I married him.” He added I began to laugh. “But no. I think for me, it was perfect. Perfectly timed, and the perfect guy.”

  “Ew.” I said, they both laughed. “Max?” I asked, he hummed.

  “It’s complicated.” He said, “at the time, I loved him, so at the time it was perfect and it was right. I think, now looking back that I was too young. It was too soon for me, but not too soon in our relationship.”

  “That makes sense.” I said nodding, they both nodded back to me.

  “Want some cake?” Cameron asked, I laughed but nodded to him as he stood from the table, taking the plates away.

  “Knock, knock.” I heard Max say, so I looked up as he came into my bedroom, he came to sit on my bed.

  “In case you feel ready.” Max said then went into the bag he’d brought in with him, he passed me a box of condoms. I read them, then looked at him as he nodded to me. “I’m not going to make you be celibate, or make your take an oath, or anything. I know better than most, better than Cameron that ballet school is weirdly a hot bed.” He said, I frowned at him.

  “You’ve started Pas De Deux?” he asked, I rolled my eyes but nodded. “You will see how intimidate it can get. Dancing together can be orgasmic which can ultimately lead to… searching for that orgasm.” He said, it made me smile. “So, just use a condom. With everyone, boys, girls whatever. Make sure you’re always safe. You don’t want to be in the middle of a pregnancy scandal.” He said, I nodded to him because I agreed. “And, use lubricate with guys.” He said, passing me a bottle, he leant a little closer to me. “Also good for when you want to go at it alone.” He said, I laughed. “Don’t be afraid to call me, or Cameron if you need to talk though. If it’s urgent don’t wait until the weekend.”

  “What like needing contacts?” I asked, he smiled at me.