Light as a Feather

by Cameron James

  “Like needing contacts.” He said, so I began to laugh as he did.

  ***

  Kian almost looked lost when he came out of the bathroom. It made me laugh as I pulled my shorts up over my leotard, then sat back on my bed to put my socks on. Kian looked at me then sat back on his own bed, rubbing his eyes and shaking his head at me.

  "I'm too tired for today to progress." He said, then he groaned. "How long do I have?"

  "Ten minutes until breakfast." I said, he sighed and nodded standing from his bed, keeping his hand on the knot in his towel around his waist. He threw his leotard behind him from the wardrobe, followed by his shorts and his ballet belt. "Why are you so tired?" I asked, he laughed and shrugged at me. "Well, I taught a class and had an hour’s session myself and I'm not that tired."

  "Well, aren't you fabulous." He replied, I whistled at him, "Margo's very energetic on a Saturday. I don't know why I wasn't expecting it." He added he sounded confused as he picked up his clothes, dropping them back onto his bed then dropping his towel. I trained my eyes on his face, he began to laugh almost instantly. "You know this is so padded it's ridiculous." He said, my eyes jumped to his feet as he stepped into his ballet belt, then I looked back at his face.

  "Padded?" I repeated, he nodded.

  "Because my brother plays football... Right?" He said, I nodded even though I did not see the connection, he smiled as he slipped his hand into his ballet belt to rearrange himself, I smirked then looked away as I figured I was blushing. "He has a jockstrap, and a cup. The whole wham bam. Mum got paranoid.

  I was like thirteen when my ballet teacher stated I need to get a ballet belt. I couldn't wear my boxers anymore. Mum associated it with my brother’s jockstrap and got all motherly. She asked the lady in the ballet shop if you could buy padded straps, whether they'd be more protective, she said they would and..." He said, I looked back at him as he stepped into his leotard, pulling it up over his shoulders.

  "Oh." I said, he looked at me as he sat on his bed. "So, you don't just have a big dick then?" I said, he laughed as he pulled up his shorts then put his socks on.

  "Wow." He said shaking his head at me, "way to hurt a guy’s ego." He added, I laughed.

  "I was concerned." I said thoughtfully, "I was fourteen when I got my ballet belt. Max said it didn't need to be padded. I followed his advice. When I got a new one last year, Corinthian, the guy who runs the ballet shop I buy stuff from, and one of Max's friends whispered to me that if I wanted it to be padded I could. I thought why not, but my cup is not as big as yours." I said, he frowned at me so I laughed. "You hang it on the bathroom door. I've noticed." I said, he smiled.

  "Don't compare that." He said, I looked down. "We're in so much competition, for everything. Height, weight, technique, stamina, muscle. We're in competition for roles, for grades for everything. Don't be worried about how your cup size compares to someone else's." He said, I met his eyes.

  "My ballet teacher, when I was thirteen and overly conscious about buying a ballet belt, because I thought it'd make that area more obvious in my leotard. My ballet teacher literally turned to me and said anyone watching me, whether it be a teacher, an assessor, a judge or even just an audience member are going to be far more interested in my dancing, than my penis."

  "That makes sense." I said, he smiled as he stood coming to me then he kissed my forehead.

  "And if you want." He said leaning a little closer to my ear. "You can borrow one of my ballet belts. If it makes you feel better." He said, I laughed shaking my head at him.

  "No, I'm good." I said, he winked at me then turned back to his wardrobe, putting his zip up jacket on then nodding his head to me, so I stood, putting my own jacket on then picking up my ballet shoes and following him out of our room.

  “Hello boys.” Our Allegro teacher said as he stood at the front of the class. He was wearing a tank top, and joggers. He wore ballet shoes with no socks, and he was actually beautiful. “My name is Arlo, and I will be your individual tutor. We will explore many different dances in this class, some classical, such as the mice from the Nutcracker, or numbers from Robin Hood.” He said then he smiled, a dimpled smile, I looked across the group to Kian as he let out a deep breath, he nodded to me so I laughed quietly.

  “We will also explore Peter Pan, Sweeney Todd. We will dance solo pieces and group numbers. Whilst also working on your core strength and your technique. We will go on a journey in this class boys.”

  “I’m sure.” Kian whispered, I laughed again.

  “So please spread yourselves out on the barres. We will complete our warm-up then start simple.” He said, then clapped his hands so we scattered to the barre.

  We stood in first position, then began moving through the arm positions. Arlo walked amongst us, fixing us where we needed to be fixed, smiling at those of us, like me, who didn’t need to be fixed.

  “Soubresaut.” Arlo requested, “gain some height boys.” He spoke. “Point your toes.” He stated to a boy on the next barre over, his voice full of dismay, everyone else laughed quietly as we continued to jump.

  Sousbresaut, a sudden straight-legged jump with toes pointed, Max had told me as we practiced over and over, he made me repeat it as I jumped.

  Soo-bruh-soh, soo-bruh-soh, soo-bruh-soh.

  “Beautiful Jacob.” Arlo said, I grinned at him, then turned my head to look at Kian as he gasped at me. “To the floor.” He requested, “into pairs please.” He added, so we stood in twos at the corner of the room. “Chassé across.” He requested; the first pair began to.

  “Oh, I would.” Kian said as he slotted his water bottle into the little holder on the treadmill. He stood on either side of the treadmill as he pressed a few buttons.

  “That pretty?” Margo asked, we both nodded back to her, she laughed as she sat on the windowsill of the window in front of the treadmills.

  “He was beautiful.” Kian said as he began to walk on the treadmill. I tried to copy him, placing my own water bottle in the holder, then stepping onto the treadmill. I just stood and stared at the controls. “Here.” Kian said, stepping across the belt and leant on the barrier, he pressed a few buttons then my belt began to move. “Good?” he asked, I hummed at him.

  “I’ll let you know.” I said, he laughed as he began walking on his own machine again, so I also did. I watched as Kian’s got quicker.

  “So, why Jacob are you battling with a treadmill?” Margo asked, I glanced down at her then back out the window as my belt began to move quicker.

  “Because Madame Rose insisted, I work on my weight.”

  “She didn’t tell you to work on your weight.” Kian said, I shook my head.

  “She said I needed to spend my spare time in the gym. Therefore.”

  “Therefore.” Margo and Kian mocked at the same time, as my treadmill quickened again, I was now doing more of a jog.

  “I used to do this every day.” Kian said, I looked at him momentarily. “Wake up, have breakfast…”

  “Most important meal of the day.” Margo interjected; Kian laughed.

  “Then I’d go the gym for an hour.” He said nodding, “Then school.”

  “The hell? What time did you wake up?” I asked, Kian smiled slightly as his became more of a run, I dreaded when mine hit that point as I was already out of breath.

  “Five.” He said nodding, “breakfast by half five, at latest. The gym by six, work out until seven, shower, changed and in school by eight fifteen, no problems.”

  “Oh my god. I don’t envy you.” Margo said, I shook my head.

  “Then, I’d go straight to ballet after school. Four to seven, sometimes eight.” He said, I shook my head.

  “I thought I did a lot, obviously not.” I said, Margo laughed as Kian did.

  “I bet you calorie count.” Margo said, Kian began to laugh. “You calorie count, don’t you?” She said, he looked down without losing balance,

  “Not every day.” He replied as he looked back up, “the weekends ar
e a free for all.”

  “Five, two?” I said, he nodded to me. “Can you slow this down please?” I added, he smiled as he stepped off his belt again and pressed a few buttons. My treadmill became a slow jog, I nodded to him relieved as he grinned.

  “So, theoretically you could have the biggest damn pizza, ever on a Saturday?” Margo asked, Kian groaned.

  “That sounds so good, but yes I could.” He added, I smirked at him.

  “Max always said to me that we should eat high energy food because we burn off so much energy.” I said, Kian nodded.

  “I do eat high energy food. Just not fatty food.” He said, I nodded to him.

  “Like chicken and rice.” I asked, he nodded to me.

  “That sounds unbelievably boring.” Margo stated, I laughed as Kian did.

  “We used to eat crap on a Saturday, but equally we trained for hours. From about nine in the morning to five, six in the evening. We’d have fast food for lunch and all kinds.”

  “We?” Margo asked as she stood, she leant on Kian’s treadmill.

  “My sister and I.” He said nodding, “we’d have individual training, then we’d do Pas De Deux training.” he said nodding, Margo looked at me she seemed mildly impressed.

  “My question.” Margo said raising her hand, Kian nodded to her as his treadmill slowed down. “When did you find time to touch yourself lovely?” She asked, Kian laughed shaking his head.

  “That is none of your business.” He replied, then began to walk again. He took a swig out of his water bottle. “I’m going to take a shower.” He said as his treadmill stopped. He jumped off it.

  “Don’t leave me on this.” I almost squeaked at him, “I don’t know how to work this.” I said, he laughed walking around my treadmill and turned it off. I managed to get off without falling.

  “Shower then tea? Does that sound like a plan?” He asked, Margo nodded to him.

  “An hour?” She asked, he nodded back then they kissed each other’s cheeks. I stuttered when she also did it to me.

  I was lying back on my bed when Kian came out from the shower, he smiled at me as he dried his hair with the towel. I let my eyes travel down his body, he was just wearing his boxers.

  “Shouldn’t have lay down, I’m guessing?” He said, I nodded to him. “Come on, get a shower. It’ll relax you,” he said holding his hands out to me. I took them and let him help me stand.

  “Then food because I’m starving.” He said, I nodded going into the bathroom and stripping, I turned the shower on and stood awkwardly naked in the middle of the bathroom waiting for the shower to reach a good temperature.

  I glanced at myself in the mirror, letting my eyes jump over my body. I couldn’t see past my hips because of the sink but I was more grateful for that than anything. I ran my hand from my chest to my stomach feeling as my hand rose then I held it out under the shower stream, feeling the water hitting my fingers, so I stepped into the shower.

  It didn’t take me long before I was taking Cameron’s advice.

  ***

  “Gentlemen you must lift with your knees not your backs.” Miss Olivia said as she walked through the lines of our Pas De Deux class.

  Abi was still not speaking to me, but to her credit she still danced with me and let me lift her, even though her centre threw my balance off and she still squirmed whenever I touched her. Miss Olivia appreciated our attempts and smiled sympathetically at me whenever she walked past. The third time she walked past me she stopped and stood behind me. Placing her hands on my waist and holding my back straight as I lifted Abi up,

  “Relevé in fifth Abi.” Olivia requested, so Abi did, raising onto fifth, whilst also raising her arms into fifth, “and lift Jacob.” She said, so I attempted to, bending my knees as I lifted her by the waist. It didn’t work too well. We both sighed at the same time, as I looked over my shoulder at Miss Olivia.

  “Build up some muscle Jacob.” She said, I nodded to her, “and Abi you have to help your partner.” She said, “Pas De Deux’s translation is a dance of two.” She said raising her voice. “This means both dancers must give and take. It is both of your jobs to create a balance, to make yourselves look beautiful.” She said, then she smiled at Kian and Margo, who in-between laughing with each other and tickling each other actually managed to do the lifts Miss Olivia was requesting we do.

  “Watch as Kian lifts Margo. It is effortless.” She said, we all did, and it was effortless. “Margo’s lines are beautiful. Her extension, remains strong as Kian lifts her.” She said, I heard Abi sigh. “Very good.” She said, then began to walk around again. “Ladies, keep your core strong as you relevé. Gentlemen use your stomach muscles.” She said. “You will have an assessment on Pas De Deux before Christmas. I encourage you to get to know your partners, to bond and to talk. This will strengthen your Pas De Deux work.” She said, then she looked at her watch. “Okay.” She said clapping her hands. “Thank you ladies and gentlemen.” She said, the girls curtseyed as we all bowed.

  “I’m thinking we should go out.” Kian said as we walked towards the barre. He drank from his water bottle as I let myself slide to the floor.

  “Go out, where?” Margo asked as she also sat on the floor to remove her pointes.

  “For fun. Just to get to know each other.” he teased, I looked up at him as he smiled down at me.

  “Does that mean Abi comes?” I asked, he laughed softly.

  “Anyone can come.” He said nodding, I began to nod back to him. “I’m thinking Friday night, a few drinks, some food.” He said nodding, Margo nodded back to him as I did.

  “Now, though. Lunch?” he said, Margo smiled at him as she stood, she threw her pointes into her bag, so the ribbons hung out the zip. I shook my head at her slowly then stood putting a pair of joggers on over my shorts. “Come on let’s get some food.” Kian said as he began to leave the studio.

  We followed after him. I followed Kian through the dinner queue, Margo behind me as we walked down the salad bar. He picked up a salad made mainly of onions and beetroot, with pieces of shredded chicken on top. He looked at me as he placed it on his tray, I smiled at him then pushed my tray to where his had been. I picked up the same salad.

  ��

  Chapter 4

  “Nice to finally see some contacts Jacob.” Madame Rose commented as we all went into our plié on the barre. I nodded to her as she walked past.

  They had been a nightmare to put in, and Kian hadn’t helped at all. They’d arrived during breakfast yesterday in a little box, with a note from Max and Cameron, but I wasn’t confident enough to try them straight after breakfast, so I waited.

  Kian had spent the entire time I was in the bathroom laughing. Somehow, I’d managed to put them on, but I still had my glasses into my duffle bag because I completely expected something to go very wrong and either end up having to wear an eye patch, or be forever resigned to wearing my glasses.

  “Beautiful pliés.” Madame Rose said as she walked down the barres again. “We will be working on two jumps today, the flying pas de chat, and the grand jeté.” She said, “Can anyone please tell me what they are?” she asked,

  “The step of the cat.” Abi said, I looked at her as she didn’t meet anyones eyes.

  “Brilliant, and how do we do a flying pas de chat?”

  “Sideways jump, with first leg extended and the second in retiré.” Abi said, Madame Rose nodded to her, I figured if we were in proper school, and much littler school she’d have gotten a well done sticker.

  “Grand jeté, is a split jump.” Kian said, Madame Rose nodded more towards him now.

  “We will start with the flying pas de chat, please form pairs to the right.” She said, so we did.

  We all stood and watched as Madame Rose demonstrated the jump multiple times, then she stood and barked instructions at us as we attempted it ourselves.

  Kian of course did it perfectly, as did Abi.

  Madame Rose however didn’t actually seem all too impressed b
y that as she was too focused on those of us who couldn’t even lift ourselves from the floor.

  I was use to jumping from pointe, Max had taught me pretty much every jump whilst I was dancing en pointe, so gaining the strength I needed to actually physically lift me from the floor was proving difficult.

  “Come on Jacob.” Madame shouted at me as I walked the rest of the way across the studio. I nodded to her as an acknowledgement as the next pair went behind me. “Extend.” Madame Rose shouted, shaking her head in dismay. “Point your toes. You are ballet dancers.” She barked as everyone stood in the corner breathing deeply. “Onto the barres.” She ordered, so we did, “Jump.” She snapped, clapping her hands in time so we jumped on the beat.

  We didn’t speak to each other as we left Madame Rose’s class, I think everyone like myself was still trying to regain their breath. We walked straight to the canteen, claiming a table then just sitting there.

  “Oh my god.” Kian moaned, “I think my thighs are on fire.” He said, then shook his head and twirled himself around on the bench he was sat on. “I’m going to get some food, through my burning thighs.” He said as he stood and joined the queue.

  “Me too.” Margo said leaving the table. I watched her go as I seriously considered having a nap on the table top. My phone vibrating stopped me. Kian returned as I picked it up and read the text from Connor.

  “Not getting anything?” Kian asked, I looked at him then waved my hand.

  “Will in a minute.” I said replying to Connor’s text. “Are we still going out tonight?” I asked, Kian nodded to me as he began to cut up his pieces of chicken.

  “Definitely, especially after that lesson, that was pure torture.” He said shaking his head at me, I nodded to him. “Why?”

  “Can I kill two birds with one stone and invite Connor?” I said, Kian grinned.

  “Will I like Connor?”

  “Oh, it’s highly likely.” I said nodding to him,

  “And is Connor gay?”

  “Extremely.” I replied, he laughed happily.

  “Bring him.” He said as Margo came back with a burger and half a plate of chips. “I’m very excited to meet him.” He said, as I laughed and told Connor he could come. “Now go get something to eat.” Kian said, I met his eyes.