All the Reasons I Need

by Jaime Clevenger

  “What about our date?”

  “Is there a rule that we have to go to dinner?” Kate hoped Mo’s answer was no. “I don’t know if I can handle waiting much longer.”

  “We’ve been waiting for sixteen years. I bet you could resist until after dessert.”

  “What if I don’t want to?” Kate kicked off her sandals and then pulled her tank top off over her head, knowing Mo’s eyes were on her. The thrill of knowing that Mo was watching her undress didn’t come with any wave of anxiety. Whatever happened, she knew Mo would let her take the lead. Hopefully that would be enough.

  Mo didn’t come closer, and somehow that gave Kate the courage she needed. She unhooked her bra and then rubbed the line under her breast from the wire without looking up to see if Mo was still watching. After she had her shorts off, she stood for a moment in her underwear, eyeing Mo.

  “You coming or not?”

  Without waiting for Mo’s answer, Kate turned and went to the bathroom. She kept the door open as she waited for the hot water. Any moment she expected Mo to come in. As she slipped off her underwear, she felt a heady rush at the thought that when Mo did see her, she wouldn’t try to cover up. She stepped into the line of water, letting the day’s sweat rinse off her skin.

  “I could get used to this view too.” Mo leaned against the doorway, her eyes not leaving Kate’s. Kate felt that Mo wasn’t letting herself really look at her yet and she understood. They’d resisted crossing lines for so long that it wasn’t a simple matter of stepping across them now. She only hoped Mo would figure it out soon.

  “You don’t have to shower with me if you’re feeling old-fashioned. We can do dinner first.” Kate turned her face into the water. She closed her eyes as the stream pelted her forehead and cheeks. When she glanced over her shoulder, Mo was taking off her clothes. She had her back to Kate. Her shorts were off and her sports bra hung from one of the towel hooks. Kate looked away before Mo turned around. The truth was, Mo wasn’t the only one who was going to have trouble crossing those lines.

  The shower door opened, and Kate busied herself pouring shampoo into her hand. She rubbed her hands through her hair, foaming the shampoo, as she heard the sound of the second showerhead turning on. Mo stood naked next to her, but she stopped herself from looking. She closed her eyes and let the water rinse away the suds.

  When she opened her eyes, she glanced in Mo’s direction. She’d stepped into the water, rinsing her face and head, then turned to let the water skid off her back and down her legs. The water droplets glistened and Kate reached out to catch one as it flowed from Mo’s shoulder blade down to her hip. Mo froze at the touch and Kate could sense that she held her breath. Slowly, she let her hand slip down Mo’s hip, and rivulets of water covered the place where her finger had been. She turned away and let the spray hit her face.

  “Do you know how many times I’ve stopped myself from saying that you’re beautiful?” Kate said.

  “How many?” Mo asked.

  “At least once a day for as long as I’ve known you. I’ll let you do the math.”

  “I got you beat. I stop myself at least a dozen times every day.” Mo reached for Kate’s hand and brought it up to her lips, kissing the knuckles and then spreading her fingers. Shivers went through Kate as Mo kissed her palm. When she let go, Mo turned off the water and stepped out of the shower.

  Kate stayed in the shower, watching as Mo toweled off. If she’d been with a man, she was certain they would have had at least made out. Given all her issues, she’d rarely let anyone inside, but she’d learned enough other ways to satisfy their desire. And she’d been sure of that desire. She’d thought she’d known Mo’s interest, but with her quick exit, now she doubted herself.

  Was it possible that Mo wasn’t ready? Or that she didn’t want a sexual relationship? Kate hoped both answers were no. Remembering the way the muscles in Mo’s arms clenched as if she’d barely kept herself from reaching for her earlier, Kate was certain she hadn’t misread her. Either Mo was being cautious for Kate’s sake or she was doing it for her own. Kate turned off the water and reached for a towel. After she dried off, she combed out her hair, staring at her reflection instead of looking into the bedroom to see what Mo was up to.

  When she came out of the bathroom, Mo was stretched out on the bed. She was wearing the board shorts she’d been in earlier but hadn’t bothered with her sports bra or a shirt. Julia had joked more than once about Mo’s perfect breasts. The few times Kate had seen Mo without a shirt, she’d pretended not to look. Now as she lounged back, Kate openly stared. Julia was right. Mo’s breasts were perfect, round and full, and although she’d never thought much about breasts or nipples—her own were two small pink-tipped mounds with little to write home about—she couldn’t deny the allure.

  “I was hoping you’d still be naked.”

  “This is pretty close.” Mo turned on her side. “I didn’t know if you’d changed your mind. Suddenly things felt a little different.”

  “I didn’t change my mind.” Kate knew that Mo was saying there was no pressure, but it was there anyway. “It’s possible I’m nervous.”

  “I was worried it was only me,” Mo admitted.

  Why hadn’t she seen it before? Mo always pulled back when she was nervous.

  Kate sat down on the bed. The towel was still wrapped around her, and she adjusted it to make sure it didn’t fall. “Is it really okay with you if I’m in charge? I know you’ve got more experience and I’m guessing you’re usually the one calling the shots.”

  “Usually.” Mo held out her hand, palm upturned. “But nothing about this is usual.”

  Kate clasped her hand. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

  “Definitely a good thing. But it also means there’s more pressure.”

  “Something tells me you can handle the pressure,” Kate returned. “Considering some of the women you’ve dated…”

  “I’ve been with plenty of women. But this time I’m with someone I really like.”

  “I won’t tell all those other women.”

  “That did sound bad, didn’t it?” Mo hmmed. “Most of the time, sex is a fling and then I get to liking the person afterward. This is totally different.”

  “Yeah, this time you might not like the person afterward.”

  “I doubt that. I already know she’s whip-smart. And hot. Really hot. Plus she knows I’m a nerd and she still likes me.” Mo chuckled when Kate gave her a side-eye. “I’ve had this thing for her for so long—so long that I can’t remember what I fantasized about before I met her.”

  Kate laughed. “You’ve fantasized about me?”

  “Are you saying you haven’t fantasized about me?”

  The heat of a blush raced up her neck. “Can I plead the Fifth?”

  “No.”

  Kate grabbed one of the pillows and tossed it at Mo. She laughed when Mo dodged it. “For your information,” she said, reaching for another pillow, “there was a time when you were the only one I fantasized about.”

  “What happened?”

  “I watched Wonder Woman.” Kate couldn’t believe she was admitting her fantasy out loud. “You know that island with all those warrior women?”

  “Wait, Wonder Woman?”

  “It wasn’t so much her as all those other women.”

  “Like an orgy?” Mo asked, her eyebrows raised.

  “Something like that.” Kate tossed the second pillow, and Mo ducked easily again, grinning. “Watch out. My aim might get better.”

  “I’ll consider myself warned,” Mo said, holding a pillow up as a shield. “So before you got into orgies…what were you fantasizing about when you thought of me?”

  “Oh, no. That’s all you get.”

  “Why stop now?” Mo peeked around the pillow.

  The urge to push past the pillow and kiss Mo was hard to resist. “Never in a million years did I think that I’d admit any of my fantasies to you.”

  “Because you were worried
that I’d think it was weird that you were into orgies with comic book characters? Why would you think that?”

  Laughing, Kate climbed across the bed on her knees. She pushed the pillow down. Mo was still chuckling. “Alright, smarty pants, you can tease, but it’s not that weird. I even read an article about it. Plenty of women have fantasies about group sex.”

  “With Wonder Woman?”

  “And all those hot warrior women.”

  Before Mo could say more, Kate closed the distance between them. The kiss was playful at first, but it turned into more as soon as Mo let go of the pillow. Mo’s lips parted and Kate deepened the kiss, moving closer still. Her towel slipped down her chest, but she didn’t try to pull it back up, and when she leaned against Mo, the sensation of her nipples brushing Mo’s sent a rush through her.

  The question of how far she was ready to go nudged its way into her mind with every kiss. She’d thought she’d stop at kissing, but she couldn’t seem to make her body pull away, and when she reached out to caress Mo’s breast, her low groan only made Kate want to touch her everywhere else too.

  One kiss followed another. She’d never desired anyone as much and every part she touched only made her want more. Soon she was pushing down Mo’s shorts. Her pulse quickened when Mo helped, shimmying out of the board shorts between kisses.

  Mo’s hands stayed on the mattress, and Kate knew that she wouldn’t touch her until there was some signal that she was ready for that. With Mo, there was no danger that this would go to a place where she wasn’t comfortable. Mo wouldn’t push. She was safe to do what she wanted.

  Her towel was completely undone now, and when she leaned down to meet Mo’s lips again, skin met skin. She didn’t hold back a moan of satisfaction, and Mo’s responding kiss sent a wave right to her center.

  Reaching for Mo’s hand, she placed it on her breast and watched Mo’s lips part. As much as she wanted to give herself to Mo without holding back, she hoped Mo would understand that it couldn’t happen yet—if it ever did. She only hoped Mo would be satisfied with what she could give her.

  Distracted some by Mo plying her nipple, Kate took Mo’s other hand and kissed each fingertip. No doubt about it, Mo knew what she was doing. A tingling pulse had already started at her clit. But she knew a few things too, she reminded herself. Even if she’d never been with a woman, she knew how to give pleasure. Opening her lips, she sucked Mo’s middle finger into her mouth. Mo shuddered and Kate licked her palm before slowly pulling back her head. As Mo’s finger slipped out of her lips, the look of pure desire on her face eclipsed every other thought.

  When she’d fantasized about Mo, she’d always imagined her on top, even though she knew that wasn’t how they’d probably have sex if it ever happened. She’d never let anyone be on top of her, in fact. But she wanted Mo that way. “Someday,” she breathed the word out loud and Mo met her gaze.

  “Someday?”

  “Someday I want you on top of me.”

  “That could happen sooner rather than later.”

  Kate looked down at her and drew a line over her lips. Mo’s tongue lashed out too late, and she only smiled at the miss, holding her gaze as Kate outlined her jaw. Of all of the things she’d wanted to touch, Mo’s face was something that had been forever seemingly off-limits. Now Mo held still as she traced every line. “You know how I said I really liked sex?”

  “As long as you’re in control. Trust me, I was paying attention. I’m pretty sure you also admitted to being a sex goddess. Do you have a leather outfit that you wear when you do the dominatrix thing? ’Cause I could be into that. And as for toys…”

  “I’m trying to be serious here.” Kate rolled her eyes when Mo pretended to crack a whip, but she couldn’t help smiling. She wasn’t ready to have sex with toys, that was for sure, although the thought wasn’t awful. “I need to know if you’re really okay not being in charge.”

  “I was ready to wait another sixteen years to have sex with you. I can handle you being in control for a while.”

  For a while. That was the answer, she knew. Kate nodded, trying to ignore the tightness that had stolen into her chest. She stopped the “what ifs” before they made it to her lips. “Someday I’ll ask you to take over.”

  “Something to look forward to… But did I mention that I’m okay with you using restraints?”

  Kate laughed. The last little part of her that had been hanging back now willingly stepped forward. She’d held most of her body up so only their breasts had touched, but now she lowered herself over the length of Mo. When her center pressed against Mo’s, she pushed down with her hips, savoring the feel of short hair against her skin.

  “God, you feel good,” Mo murmured.

  Mo’s voice only turned her on more. Stroking her hand along the length of Mo’s leg, she drew more sounds of approval. When she moved to the inside of Mo’s thigh, her body begged her not to stop. But she hesitated. Would Mo want to take this slow?

  As if in answer, Mo pushed her hips up. Kate slipped one finger inside. She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, but feeling Mo’s body clench around her and the sensation of being inside was better than anything she’d imagined.

  “Mmm…You got more than one finger?”

  Mo let her hips drop back to the mattress, but Kate followed her. She slipped in another finger and Mo’s responding purr lit up her own body. It didn’t simply feel good. She’d never felt anything like it. Touching her own body had never given her a high like this. She pulled out and circled Mo’s clit, knowing well how to give pleasure to that, and watched Mo’s lips part in a silent gasp. Mo was right. It didn’t feel like this was the first time. Somehow she already knew what Mo wanted.

  As Kate slid her fingers inside again, Mo thrust her hips up and moaned. Kate thought then of when they’d danced together, Mo’s hips pressing in rhythm against hers. She’d felt intoxicated by Mo’s body then, but this…this was infinitely better. She matched Mo’s rhythm with her hand, hardly believing that it was possible every time Mo’s hips jutted up, asking for her to push deeper. Mo’s jaw was clenched, and she knew when her breathing changed that her orgasm was coming. Kate wanted to keep going, to watch her come, but there was one thing she wanted before that happened. She’d thought of it, wondered what it would be like, and she hoped Mo wouldn’t stop her.

  Leaning down, she breathed in Mo’s scent before slipping her tongue over her clit. When she heard Mo’s sharp intake of breath and felt her body tighten around her, she didn’t want to straighten up again. She shifted between Mo’s legs, her fingers still working but now adding her tongue every few strokes. Mo combed through her hair as she moaned.

  Kate didn’t let up and the sounds of Mo’s desire grew louder. Their bungalow was off by itself, but she wished everyone could hear. She was doing this to Mo—bringing these sounds to her lips. If she could, she’d keep Mo in bed for the rest of the night finding every new way to please her.

  Finally when she couldn’t wait any longer for the climax, wanting it almost more than she thought Mo wanted it, she sucked Mo’s clit between her lips. Mo’s thighs tightened around her, and the hand that had been combing her hair clenched in a fist. Kate let her lips go slack for a only moment. Then she took Mo’s clit into her lips again.

  Mo cried out when the orgasm rushed through her. She held Kate tight against her and then pulled her up to meet her lips. They savored one long kiss before Mo seemed to melt.

  Kate placed light kisses from Mo’s neck down to her toes as Mo lay perfectly still, clearly enjoying the afterglow.

  “Come back here…” Mo tugged Kate up to her lips for another kiss and then wrapped her arms around her. The strength in her hold felt almost possessive. Kate didn’t want to admit how much she liked it.

  “Where have you been my whole life?” Mo said, chuckling as if she couldn’t believe what had just happened anymore than Kate could.

  “Right here,” Kate said, snuggling against her chest.

  “R
emind me again how long I have to wait till you let me touch you like that?”

  “Someday,” Kate promised. She brushed her lips over Mo’s collarbone. “You knew I wouldn’t be ready, didn’t you? That’s why you didn’t try anything in the shower.”

  Mo gave her a gentle squeeze. “I know a thing or two about the mysterious Kate Owens,” she said simply. “But I have to admit…I wasn’t expecting you’d be that good with your tongue.”

  Kate laughed, pushing up off of Mo’s chest. “Why not?” Her groin was still on Mo’s and when Mo shifted, her hair tickled the inside of Kate’s thighs.

  “Well, I guess it’s partly because you’ve been with guys and I figured—”

  Kate crossed her arms. “You’re going to have to get over this thing you have against bisexual women, starting about now.”

  “I am, huh? Well, when you put it that way…” Mo pushed her hips up a half-inch. If Kate hadn’t been sitting on her, the movement would have been imperceptible. As it was the slight shift was exactly enough to send a tremor to Kate’s clit.

  Kate squeezed her legs. “Mmm. I hope I don’t take too long deciding I’m ready for you to be on top.”

  Mo clenched her jaw. “You and me both. You have no idea how hard it is holding back.”

  “You have more willpower than anyone else I know. You’ll survive.” Kate smiled and leaned down to plant another kiss on Mo’s lips. “But trust me,” she whispered, “I can’t wait for the day when you are having your way with me.”

  “Way to make me even harder,” Mo whined. “I do have limits, you know.”

  “Get ready to test them.” Kate shifted off Mo, grinning as she did. Everything was different this time. There were no secrets. She didn’t have to explain why she needed to be in control and instead of the tense arguments she’d had with guys she’d been with, they were already joking about sex. “I’m taking another shower. You can join me again if you want.”

  “I’d love to, but I don’t know if I can handle it. I’m not sure you realize how sexy you are soaking wet.”

  “I’m not saying you can’t touch me at all. I want your hands on me. And I promise I’ll show you where the line is.” If she ever let anyone cross those lines, she knew it’d be Mo.