All the Reasons I Need

by Jaime Clevenger

  Chapter Fifteen

  “You rented us a scooter?”

  Kate smiled. “Don’t act so surprised. I can be spontaneous.”

  “I know but…what’d you call them? A two-wheeled deathtrap?” Mo shook her head. “I figured you must have thrown a party when I cancelled last time.”

  “I wanted to spend the day with you. But we get a redo on that whole day.”

  Mo looked over at the clock on the nightstand. There was something she clearly wasn’t saying and Kate felt a moment of uncertainty. She should have asked if she had other plans. Maybe spending all day together wasn’t what she wanted.

  “I should have asked before I made the reservations. If you want to do something else…”

  Mo scratched her head. “Here’s the deal. I kind of made reservations for us too. We have a couples massage scheduled at three. But that would mean we were spending all day together and I’m not sure if you’d want that.”

  “Considering that I debated trying to convince you to spend all day in bed… Yes. I want to spend all day with you. For a minute there, I thought you were going to say that you’d rather do something alone. I was about to be crushed.”

  “After last night you really think that?”

  “Insecurities die hard. I’d love to do both. A massage sounds amazing.”

  Mo got up off the bed and wrapped her arms around Kate. “I don’t want to do anything that would crush you. And I’d love to spend all day together. And the next day. And the day after that.”

  “Can you be naked for most of that time?”

  “Who needs clothes?” Mo grinned. “Wait, when do we fly back?”

  “Tuesday.” And that was going to come entirely too soon. “Although I can remote in for work.”

  “Good idea. How much do you think it’d be if we extended our reservations for the rest of the month?”

  “Room service is going to add up,” Kate said, playing along. It was nice to imagine spending a month with Mo in this bungalow. They’d called in room service last night and had their dinner date on the balcony. Naked. Then they’d called room service again this morning. Other than going out on the balcony, they hadn’t left the room and they’d used the resort’s bathrobes in lieu of clothes. But somehow they’d both managed to make reservations without the other knowing. Kate hadn’t thought beyond plans for that day, but now she wondered what would happen when they went back home.

  “Other than missing Peeves, I have no reason to be anywhere else.”

  “I forgot about Peeves!” Mo shook her head. “We’ll have to go get him.”

  “When does Chantal get back from London?”

  “Friday.” Mo sighed. “I’ve got some time to figure out where I’m moving.”

  “You don’t want to move back in with me?”

  “I do,” Mo said, kissing Kate’s forehead. “But I’ve made the mistake of moving too fast before. I don’t want to make any mistakes this time. I want us to date for a while before we start living together.”

  “This is not a typical relationship. We’ve already lived together.”

  “We lived together as friends—and this is Day Two of something totally different. Day One was amazing, and so far Day Two sounds like it is going to be even better. I’m not going to risk messing up something this good because of housing logistics.”

  Kate knew Mo was right, but she wanted to argue for her to move back in anyway. It wasn’t only that she was lonely without her in the house—she felt safe with her and the thought of sleeping every night in her arms was too good to pass up. Last night’s sleep was the best she’d remembered in years. She decided now wasn’t the time to convince Mo, however. “We’ll talk about this more later.”

  Mo raised her eyebrows. “Oh, is that right?” She laughed. “I like how you think you’re calling the shots on everything.”

  “Get used to it.”

  Mo kissed her lips, drawing away her breath and then slid her hands under Kate’s robe to settle on her hips. She’d held her that same way in the shower that morning and Kate had nearly melted. “Mmm. You can call the shots now.”

  “Can’t fool me. I know you’re not that easy,” Mo said, kissing her again. “But I like a challenge.”

  “You’re in charge on the scooter. I’m going to close my eyes and just hold on.”

  “Too bad we have to get dressed for that.”

  “Speaking of which—get your sexy self dressed before I decide I need to have my hands all over your body again.” Kate felt a surge at her clit. She hadn’t had her fill of Mo, and it was hard standing close without touching her.

  “That’s an option? ’Cause this scooter thing can totally wait…”

  As it turned out, they landed back in bed one more time before they made it out the door. It was only when the front desk called, asking if they still wanted the scooter that they got dressed. They stopped by the old bungalow to change out of the clothes from Tulum and then went to the lobby. Luis smiled as they approached the desk. If he noticed Kate’s hand in Mo’s, that didn’t change his friendly tone.

  “My friend Jorge has the scooter out front for you,” Luis said. “And I made sure he brought two helmets.”

  “Perfect,” Kate paid the scooter rental and gave Luis a tip.

  “You have a message from your mother as well. She called last night.”

  Kate let go of Mo’s hand to reach for the note that Luis held out. She turned to Mo. “Can you check out the scooter while I call my mom? Hopefully it won’t take long.”

  Mo seemed happy to be off the hook at waiting through the call and headed out the front entrance as Kate found her cell phone. She texted her mom, knowing that she’d call the resort number instead of texting back.

  After waiting nearly ten minutes for a call, she looked over at Luis and shrugged. “Maybe I’ll pick up a calling card and try reaching her when we’re out.”

  Luis gave directions for the closest gas station with phone cards and a pay phone and then added, “I hope you and your girlfriend enjoy the scooter.”

  Kate smiled, but she tensed at Luis’s words. Last night they’d officially crossed the line from friends to girlfriends. She didn’t want to change anything about what had happened, but there was still a lingering doubt that she’d be enough for Mo.

  “Over here,” Mo said. She’d been leaning against a pillar, clearly waiting on her, but she straightened up as soon as Kate stepped out of the lobby. “The scooter’s parked in the shade. I took it on a quick spin to make sure it wasn’t a deathtrap.” Mo pointed toward a red scooter propped up on a kickstand. “Here’s your helmet.”

  “Where’s yours?” Kate asked, fitting the helmet on her head.

  “I left it on the scooter. Here. Let me help.” Mo stepped in front of her and adjusted the chinstrap Kate was tugging on. She got the strap into place so it wasn’t riding against Kate’s ears and then she slid her finger down, checking the buckle.

  Luis’s words were still on Kate’s mind along with an uncertainty she wished she could shake. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be with Mo. If she could spend every night in her arms, she knew she’d never grow tired of waking up with her. But how long before Mo got tired of dealing with her issues and wanted someone who could give her what she was used to having?

  “Let’s hope this is a good idea.”

  “I promise I’ll get you back in one piece. Eileen will kill me if anything happens to you.”

  “That’s your only reason?” Kate raised her eyebrows. “My mom?”

  “That’s not my only reason. I don’t want to miss out on a two-for-one massage either.”

  Kate laughed. “Okay, let’s do this. Just don’t get us killed.”

  “Deal.” Mo held up a key. “You’ve still got that life insurance policy, right?”

  Kate pushed Mo’s shoulder. “Don’t even go there.” Mo was her beneficiary and she knew it. As Mo spouted off a laundry list of organizations she’d donate the money to, Kate reali
zed that no matter what happened next in their relationship, she had no intentions of changing her policy. Maybe someday she’d tell Mo that she’d gotten her wish—she was her first love. No one else came close.

  Mo popped the scooter off the kickstand and then climbed on, waiting for Kate to settle in behind her. She adjusted her own helmet and then looked over her shoulder. “Okay, copilot, which way are we going?”

  Kate pointed to the right. Luis had said that there was only one main road that circled the island. She’d decided that she wanted to ride for a bit before searching for a pay phone and a calling card. Her mom could wait.

  Mo pushed off from the curb and suddenly the scooter was zooming forward. Kate felt a moment of unsteadiness, eyed the pavement, and then wished she hadn’t. She wrapped her arms around Mo’s waist and talked herself out of a moment of panic. Mo knew what she was doing. All she had to do was relax. Kate shifted closer, narrowing the space between her chest and Mo’s back.

  “Now this I could get used to,” Mo said, grinning over her shoulder.

  “Keep your eyes on the road. I’m about to pee myself back here.”

  Mo laughed and the sound rumbled through her chest and filled Kate’s. She hugged Mo tighter and, because that was where she could reach, kissed her shoulder. As many times as she’d kissed Mo’s shoulder, always playing it off as a friendly reminder of their closeness and often joking one moment after her lips made contact, this time it reminded her of all the other places Mo had let her kiss last night. She rested her chin on Mo, breathing in the familiar scent of her, and then raised her gaze to the view beyond the road.

  They angled south, and as the road curved, a vista of turquoise water appeared in a break between the dense green trees. Kate’s breath caught as she took in the ocean, stretched across the horizon and seemingly endless, with the sun sparkling on the cresting waves. A moment later they’d passed the spot and the jungle was all around them again.

  Kate thought of suggesting to Mo that they go back to that beach later. There was a strip of sand and a deserted little cove that would be perfect for a picnic. But she didn’t want to do anything but hold onto Mo now. “This is perfect,” she said, unintentionally voicing her thoughts.

  “Tell me if I’m going too fast.”

  Now that the road had straightened, Mo had increased their speed. The wind whipped Kate’s face, but instead of the fear she’d felt earlier, there was only a craving for more. She pushed herself to say what she was thinking: “Can this thing go a little faster?”

  Mo nodded. “Don’t let go.”

  “No chance.”

  The engine revved like an overeager lawn mower and she kissed Mo’s shoulder again. For the first time, she wasn’t worrying if Mo would guess her feelings. Whatever happened next, at least everything was in the open now. She was done hiding.

  For most of the ride along the southern tip of the island, the view was of the ocean and Kate couldn’t get her fill of it. They passed sandy beach after sandy beach, interspersed with sheets of pockmarked rock jetting out into the ocean and patches of bright vegetation that lay like a smooth carpet between the road and the water. She let Mo decide when they would stop.

  They pulled off once simply to sit and listen to the waves crashing on a bit of rocky coastline. Their next stop was at a roadside bar perched on a cliff. The bar boasted half-naked servers and more incredible views of the ocean, but Kate couldn’t seem to look anywhere but at Mo. After a drink and a shared order of nachos, they got back on the scooter and started northward. The surf, when they had a view of it, was higher on this side, and the wind blew white tips over the deep blue.

  Few cars passed and there were only enough buildings for it to be a surprise when they came across one. Between the dense jungle growth and the more wild feel to the ocean, it seemed they’d gone to an entirely different place, but the island was small and before long, the road was turning westward. Two lanes opened to four as they approached a town.

  “Want to stop and walk around a bit?” Mo asked. She had to raise her voice to be heard over the wind.

  Kate nodded, thinking that she still needed to phone her mom as well. She didn’t look forward to calling her, but there was no use avoiding it. Eileen had been known to send out search parties if she didn’t return a message.

  Mo pulled off the main road and slowed as they entered a residential area. As they followed the signs toward the central plaza of the town, the roads got busier with cars, pedestrians, and scooters zipping in and out of the lanes. When they stopped at an intersection, another scooter carrying an entire family pulled up beside them. In addition to a young mom cradling a baby in her arms, a man was driving the scooter and a toddler stood on the footboards. Kate smiled and waved, but the kid only crinkled his eyes at her. As soon as the light changed and the family’s scooter pulled forward, the toddler looked over his shoulder, gave her a wide smile and waved.

  “That’s adorable,” Kate said. “It’s a good thing all kids aren’t that cute. I’d have ten of them by now.”

  Mo glanced back at her. “I think we should talk about that.”

  “I don’t really want ten kids. I was joking.”

  “But you want kids, right?”

  “I think so…why?” The tension that had all but vanished resettled in her neck and shoulders. Mo’s tone was serious. After being with Chantal, had she changed her mind about having kids? She eased up her hold on Mo and shifted on the seat. Now that she had gotten used to riding the scooter, she really didn’t need to hold Mo for balance.

  “So, what’s your kid plan?” Mo asked.

  “What’s yours?” Kate returned.

  “I asked first.”

  Kate exhaled. She wasn’t certain if they were even dating yet by Mo’s standards. Did they have to talk about kids already? Mo had turned left and they were cruising slowly down a one-lane road with brightly painted two-story villas on either side of them.

  “I feel like kids are something we have some time to think about.”

  “So you don’t have a plan?” Mo pressed.

  “I guess I don’t. Ethan didn’t want kids so I imagined my life without them and that was fine. But then…when we broke up I started thinking about having a kid someday. That’s all.”

  Did Mo really expect her to have this all figured out? Yes, she’d thought about having kids. She’d even thought about how it would work with Mo. And more than once she’d planned a conversation in her head about sperm donors. She spotted a convenience store on the corner of the street and pointed to it. “Can we stop here? I want a bottle of water and I need to make a call.”

  Mo parked the scooter and then waited for Kate to slide off before dismounting. When she tugged off her helmet, her short hair was as perfect as ever. Her expression was hard to read, but Kate knew that something was bothering her.

  “Do you have a kid plan?” Kate pulled off her own helmet, hoping that the low ponytail she’d pulled her hair back in earlier was faring well enough.

  Mo pulled the keys from the ignition. “This isn’t really about kids. I’m just wondering if you have a plan for any of this. Have you thought about what it’s really like to be in a relationship like this?”

  “Like this? Like with someone I’ve been friends with—and had a crush on—for sixteen years? News flash: Yes, I’ve thought about it. I’ve daydreamed about our life together about a million times.”

  Mo clenched her jaw. “Reality isn’t always so easy.”

  “Where is this even coming from? You were the one who didn’t want to move back into our apartment too soon. Now you’re upset that I haven’t thought about kids?”

  “I’m not upset.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “Whatever. Let’s just drop it.” Mo placed the kickstand and got off the scooter. “I want to get some water. I’m thirsty.”

  Kate couldn’t handle calling her mom then. She didn’t even look at the phone cards, deciding to wait until they got back to the resort.
One battle at a time…

  Mo bought two bottles of water and a pack of Peanut M&Ms and then looked over at her. “Did you want to make that call?”

  Kate shook her head. Mo opened the bottle of water as they stepped outside. She held the bottle out for Kate to take and then said, “I want to have kids with you. Does that freak you out?”

  “No,” Kate said, entirely sure of her answer. She took a long sip of the water, her eyes not leaving Mo’s.

  “That’s a start.” Mo opened the pack of M&Ms and held one in her palm for Kate. “I’ve always thought we’d be awesome co-parents.”

  “If we’re together, we’d be parents like anyone else. Not co-parents.” Kate held out her hand for another M&M. After she’d crunched that, she added, “And if it’s okay with you, I’d ask your brother to be the sperm donor. I mean, if I’m the one carrying the kid. I guess I figured I’d be the one, but if you want to as well…”

  “I knew you’d already have thought about this.”

  Kate stepped in front of Mo. God, she loved how Mo looked with that cocky smile lighting up her face. “You know me pretty well, huh?”

  “I’m getting there. You probably still have a few secrets.”

  “No secrets.” She set one hand on Mo’s hip. “Only a few plans.” They were standing in the shade under the green and white striped overhang out front of the store and although she knew the store owner was probably watching them, no one else was in sight. She leaned close and Mo met her lips. The kiss felt like a promise of more to come, and Kate ran her tongue over her lips as she pulled away. She wanted more.

  “I love that you’d want to ask Tyrone to be the donor. How long have you been thinking about that?”

  “About having kids with you or having your brother’s sperm inside me?” Kate pretended to count on her fingers. She stopped and looked up at Mo’s smile. “A long-ass time.”

  Mo chuckled. “I’m going to try not to think about the fact that my brother’s sperm is gonna be inside you. But I know he’ll say yes. And it’s perfect.”