[Measure of Devotion 03.0] Measure of Peace

by Caethes Faron

  Kale’s mouth enveloped Jason’s leaking erection. The hot, slick pressure was a thousand times more acute than it had been on Jason’s muscles. All thought ceased. Only touch remained. Jason didn’t care anymore whether or not Kale was hard. This was too incredible for him to stop. A voice of self-hatred sounded in his head, and Jason pushed it away. He trusted Kale. Kale would never do anything to harm him, including letting Jason coerce him into sex. If Kale had a problem, he would let Jason know. In the meantime, Jason relished the sensation, the freedom of falling, knowing that his lover waited to catch him.

  It didn’t take much. The recent celibacy and stress diminished Jason’s capacity to last much longer than a few tongue strokes against his shaft. He tugged on Kale’s hair to let him know he was about to come, but Kale had already strengthened his grip on the outside of Jason’s thighs. Of course, Kale would be able to tell when Jason was nearing the end. He knew Jason’s body better than Jason did. A few seconds later the tension snapped, and Jason orgasmed. The pain and grief of earlier didn’t come rushing back from their retreat. They remained muted in the distant background of Jason’s mind. Peace filled the void. It pooled inside of him, warm and thick. Kale bundled him in his arms, and Jason drifted away.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Jason snored softly against Kale’s chest. Miraculously, he had slept through the night. It was still early. The sun wasn’t even all the way up yet, but Kale was anxious about his brother. He doubted Thomas had slept much, and it would take time for his internal clock to adjust to not having to be up at dawn.

  Kale was loath to leave Jason to wake to an empty bed, but he needed to make sure his brother was fed and sorted. Moving carefully, he squirmed out from under Jason’s weight and covered him with the sheet. He tiptoed to the wardrobe and withdrew some clothes.

  “You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think you are.” Jason’s drowsy voice turned Kale around.

  “I’m sorry. You were supposed to stay asleep. I just need to make sure Thomas gets some breakfast.”

  “Breakfast sounds good.” Jason stretched, the sheet falling away from his chest, revealing a few love bites.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. I need to check on Father.”

  “He must be fine, otherwise someone would have come for you.”

  “I asked them to get me if he woke.”

  “Isn’t it good that he slept through the night?”

  “Yes and no. Sadie said he’s going to get more tired and weak until he just falls asleep and never wakes up.” Jason’s voice caught on the last word, making it come out more as a squeak.

  “Jason—”

  “It’s fine. I have to make my peace with it. I’m grateful we at least came to understand each other.”

  Kale nodded. He didn’t want Jason to tumble down a pit of emotion, but he didn’t want him acting as though nothing was happening either. “Get some clothes on. I’ll go fetch Thomas, and you go check on your father. We’ll meet in the dining room.”

  “Thanks.” Jason rose from the bed naked and took languid steps toward Kale. “For everything.” He kissed him on the mouth and ran a hand across his chest.

  “Thanks for letting me. It was nice.” Kale didn’t think Jason could comprehend how wonderful it had been for him. Pleasuring Jason gave Kale immense satisfaction. The matter of his current impotence was a source of pain. The only other time it had happened was when he was owned by a labor firm that had seemed bent on working him to death. He could only hope that once their lives settled back to some form of normalcy, his body would stop betraying him. “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

  Kale knocked lightly on Thomas’s door. He didn’t want to wake him if, by some chance, he was still sleeping. There was no need. Thomas answered the door seconds after Kale lowered his hand.

  “Good morning. The clothes fit you better than I thought they would. How’d you sleep?”

  “Very well, thank you.”

  “Thomas, I’m your brother. You can tell me the truth. I won’t think you’re ungrateful.”

  Thomas smirked. “You were right. It takes a while to get used to a bed like that. It’s so soft and fluffy. I kept jerking awake, as if I was falling. Each time I wondered where I was.”

  Kale patted him on the back. “I’d like to tell you that completely goes away, but there are still mornings I wake up wondering if it was all a dream.”

  “Then you understand how I’ve felt since Mr. Gereson showed me into the office yesterday. My only reassurance is that my mind could never come up with a dream like this.”

  Kale was grateful for Thomas’s eloquence. Their mother’s training and his work as a valet had refined his speech. The lack of disparity in their language helped bridge the gap between them. It would also make his transition easier once he was free.

  Jason exited his and Kale’s room and smiled at them before going down the hall to his father’s.

  “It’s time I show you where the kitchen is and introduce you. We’ll order breakfast.” Kale led Thomas into the kitchen and was immediately confronted by a grim Darlene. “Shit.” There were places for coarse language, even in the life of a free man.

  “Shit is right. Why was there a full pot of soup and plates piled high with food in my oven this morning?”

  “Darlene, I—”

  “Did I not make myself clear? Was there some part of my instructions you did not understand?”

  “No, Darlene. I’m sorry. We were tired, and it was late, and I completely forgot. After all the food you packed us, we weren’t hungry at all.”

  “He’s right, ma’am. That basket of food was delicious, the perfect accompaniment for a day’s drive. After an afternoon savoring it, there simply wasn’t room for more.”

  Darlene eyed Thomas and then glanced at Kale. “I can see charm runs in the family.”

  “I suppose so.” Kale smiled at his brother. It was good to know that he at least felt comfortable around the slaves. Or maybe it was just Darlene. Any decent slave knew the necessity of charming the cook. “Darlene, this is Thomas. Thomas, Darlene. She keeps us all fed. A few days with her and your clothes won’t fit.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Thomas.”

  “You too, ma’am.”

  “Call me Darlene. Ma’am makes me feel old and leads me to believe you’ve done something to get yourself in trouble like your brother here.”

  Thomas put his large smile to use. “He was always the troublemaker.”

  “Usually lured by your big puppy eyes asking me to do something for you.”

  “Don’t listen to such lies, Darlene. I’ve always been a model of propriety.”

  Kale snorted. It was the first time they had teased each other as adults, and it wasn’t much different than when they were kids.

  “I’m sure you are, child. Now, did you boys want breakfast?”

  “Yes, please. Jason’s up too.”

  “Then I’ll have it served in the dining room. Let me get you some coffee to take with you.”

  “Half coffee and half cream and sugar for Jason.”

  “Boy, don’t act like I’m not the one who taught you how Master Jason takes his coffee. Try and tell me how that boy drinks it,” Darlene muttered as she poured the coffee. She handed two cups to Kale and one to Thomas. “If you all will get out of my way now, I’ll have breakfast for you in no time.”

  “Thanks, Darlene.” Kale headed to the door.

  “Thank you, Darlene. If there’s anything I can do to help, you make sure to let me know. I can’t cook worth a damn, but I can chop and peel with the best of them.”

  “I bet you can, sweetheart. Tell me, what are you used to having for breakfast?”

  “The usual. Oatmeal. Every now and then, some hard-boiled eggs if they cracked in the pot.”

  “Then I’m sure you’ll like what I make just fine.”

  “Oh, there’s no doubt about that.” Thomas followed Kale out to the dining room. It was amazing that h
e acted so much like Kale when they’d spent most of their lives apart. Kale raised his eyebrows at him as soon as Thomas looked his way. “What?”

  “Laying it on a little thick, weren’t you?”

  “Everyone knows to make nice with the cook.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Like you wouldn’t do the same.”

  “Oh, I did. It’s just a surprise to see my little brother following so closely in my footsteps.” Kale sat down in his usual spot and gestured for Thomas to sit next to him. Jason hadn’t arrived, but Kale placed his coffee in front of his place. “I told you my story yesterday. What about you? I know you were sold quite a few times.”

  “There’s really not much to tell. After you were sold, Mama was harder on me than ever. It was as if all her attention was split in two my whole life and then it was all focused on me. She was also less affectionate. I suppose she always knew she’d lose her children, but I don’t think she knew how hard it was going to be until you were gone. It changed something in her.”

  “I wish I could have saved her.”

  “Me too. She’d be so proud of you. Who would have guessed our mama raised a free man?”

  “Where’d they put you to work? When I left, you were working in the kitchens.”

  “Yeah, but I had no talent for food. Mama was scared I’d be doing scullery work my whole life or else get myself in a world of hurt when anyone tasted my cooking. She got me put in your old job in the laundry. Mending clothes and keeping them in order didn’t take much talent, just patience. When we were put up for auction, I got sold as a house slave to a family by the name of Driggson. They were decent to me, lived only a few kilometers from the Ellingtons. Old Mrs. Ellington adored Mama, Kale. She had a good life.”

  It was nice to know she hadn’t died someplace horrible. Mrs. Ellington had seemed nice enough when Kale met her, but it was always hard to tell. “I’m glad. It could have been a lot worse.”

  “Yeah, it could’ve. The Driggsons even let me attend the little service the slaves held for her.”

  “What happened? Why didn’t they keep you?”

  “After Mama was gone, there was no reason for me to want to stay with them. I was never going to move up in that house, so I made myself invaluable to their cousin whenever he came to visit. I was always assigned to him, and when he made his way in the world, he made an offer for me. That was Mr. Roche. It was a nice situation I’d gotten for myself. I thought I had it all. Then the fool lost me in a game of cards. That one hurt.”

  Kale grimaced. What kind of man used a valet as good as his brother as stakes?

  “The man he lost me to was a bastard. Nickardian was his name. What kind of name is that? Man was mean as fuck. I never did figure him out. There had to have been something wrong in his head. The things he made us do…”

  “You don’t have to talk about them if you don’t want to. I don’t mind if you ever want to talk, but you don’t need to.”

  Thomas nodded. “Suffice it to say, I was grateful when he got tired of me and sold me to Conroy. Conroy was slimy, but he wasn’t cruel.”

  “Good morning.” Jason strolled in, and Kale’s eyes were drawn to the worry lines creasing his face.

  Thomas stood as soon as Jason entered, and Kale grabbed his arm and tugged him back down. “How’s your father this morning?”

  Jason sat and took a sip of his coffee. “He hasn’t woken up. Sadie says his heartbeat is losing strength. She’ll send for me when he wakes, but it’s not likely to happen before this afternoon. What were you two talking about?”

  “Comparing masters.” Kale wanted to lend Jason encouragement, but decided it was best to honor his request for a change of subject.

  “Kale really lucked out getting sold to you, sir.”

  “I wouldn’t say that. I wasn’t a good master. The only good thing I did for him was free him, and to be honest, I had selfish reasons for doing it.”

  “That’s not true. You taught me to read, encouraged my art, and didn’t beat the daylights out of me the way I deserved.”

  “No, but if it weren’t for me, you would have never been sold—”

  “Let’s not talk about it. I think we can all agree that I was lucky, and now it’s Thomas’s turn to be lucky.” Kale held Jason’s eyes. He felt Thomas’s curious stare, but he didn’t break eye contact with Jason until he was sure Jason wasn’t going to bring up anything he didn’t want Thomas knowing.

  There was a nearly imperceptible nod of Jason’s head before he looked at Thomas. “Of course it is. How are you settling in, Thomas? Must be quite a change to get used to.”

  “It is, but as far as transitions go, this one’s worth the difficulty. Thank you for asking, sir.”

  “Thomas, I’m your brother’s idiot lover. You don’t need to call me sir. Please, call me Jason.”

  Three plates were brought in and set before them. Kale couldn’t help the laugh he released as soon as he saw what was on them. “It looks like Darlene has a new pet.”

  “I should say so.” Jason suppressed his laugh and began eating.

  Thomas’s eyes were both wide with wonder and furrowed with confusion. Each plate was stacked high with pancakes topped with blueberries, strawberries, and whipped cream. A mushroom, bell pepper, onion, and cheese omelet took up one third of the plate, and bacon and sausage took up the remaining third. A bottle of maple syrup was placed on the table.

  “I’m glad you’re eating with us, Little Brother. If Darlene could have gotten away with just serving you this feast, she would have.”

  Thomas’s eyebrows shot up. “This is for me?”

  Kale loved Darlene at that moment. “Yeah. She doesn’t cook like this for us.”

  “Scrambled eggs, toast, some meat, and tomatoes is the most we ever get.” Jason poured a liberal helping of maple syrup over his pancakes.

  Thomas waited until Kale and Jason had both started to eat before he took a bite. Kale tried to remember the first time he had eaten a real breakfast. His had been poached eggs. That morning had also been the first time Jason had tried oatmeal. The memory prompted him to look at Jason.

  “What?” Jason swallowed a bite of pancake.

  “Nothing. Just remembering some of the breakfasts we’ve had.”

  Jason shook his head and went back to eating. “What are you two going to do today?”

  “There’s nothing we have to do. Is there anything you need? Anything we can do to make the day easier?”

  “No. I’m going to spend all day sitting with my father, so I can be there when he wakes. I don’t know how many more chances I’m going to get. There’s no need for you to be bored all day just for me.”

  “You know I don’t mind.”

  “I know. I’m not saying I’m not going to need you—I will—just not for most of the day.”

  “I was thinking about taking Thomas out and showing him the ranch.”

  “That’ll be good. I’ll send someone for you if I need you.”

  “All right. I also need to call Martin.”

  “He’ll be dying to know how it all worked out. I’m surprised he didn’t call here yesterday asking.”

  “He probably didn’t want to bother you. I also wanted to see what he thought about something.” Kale left it up to Jason to decide if he wanted to ask what was on his mind. He didn’t want to force conversation on him at the moment.

  “What?” Jason’s eyes showed he was genuinely curious.

  “I’ve been thinking about what we talked about at the Lady Lion before we left. It struck me last night how absurd it is that a man can kill a slave in this country, but not free him. I think that would be a good place to start with the laws.”

  “A bill that would allow slave owners to emancipate their slaves?”

  “Yes. It would have to be approached from the perspective of the owners. A kind of, ‘This is my slave, and I can damn well do whatever I want with him, including free him.’”

  “That’s perfect, Kal
e.”

  “What do you think, Thomas?”

  Thomas looked up from his plate, clearly having difficulty hiding his surprise at being asked his opinion. “I think it makes sense, but it’ll be hard to convince people of it. Free men—especially out in farm country where there are so many slaves—are terrified of slaves conspiring. They don’t want us having any hope. Better if we just accept our slavery as an unchangeable fact. You know what Mama said: hoping for freedom is death for a slave.”

  “You’re right. It’ll take a lot of work, but I think that it might be possible with the trade agreement coming up for renewal. We can convince the Naiarans that it’s an adequate concession, and I think we can sell it as hardly a concession at all to Arinians. We need to see how politicians and the upper class would react to it. That’s why I thought I’d ask Martin to toss the idea around. See if he can gauge reaction for us.”

  “He’ll be able to do that. He can even play it off as idle chatter.” Jason slipped into a mimic of Martin’s proper, exasperated voice. “‘So much to do. If only Mr. Wadsworth had been able to stay in the country. Pity he had to move all the way to Naiara just to free his slave. Left me with all his work. A man should be able to free his slave if he wants to without having to move to another country.’ That sort of thing.”

  “I’ll call him on our way out.” Kale finished his breakfast and pushed his chair back. His stomach hadn’t been so full in ages. “You don’t have to finish it all, Thomas. No one will be offended. Don’t make yourself sick.”

  “There’s no way I’m not sending an empty plate back. I don’t want Darlene to think I didn’t like it. Maybe she’ll do it again tomorrow.”

  “Even if she doesn’t do it again tomorrow, there will still be plenty. You’ll have an abundance of food for the rest of your life, and you can eat any time you want.”

  Thomas reached over and took one of the remaining bites of Kale’s pancake and used it to mop up his last bit of syrup. “Done.”