Right Out of Nowhere

by Laurie Salzler

  “Okay, so what are you thinking?”

  “I need you to take your life in your hands one more time.” The way Selena was looking at her that very moment, Roni would have gladly jumped off a cliff. Obsession and excitement, all rolled into one, radiated from her eyes.

  “Whatever you want.” Her heart rate jumped when she realized she meant those exact words. She looked at Sparky and broke the trance Selena’s eyes seemed to have cast upon her.

  “I want you to get back on and just ride around here and let me watch.”

  Roni raised an eyebrow and peered over the top of her sunglasses.

  “Just humor me.”

  She took a deep breath, gathered the reins, and stepped into the stirrup. “Here goes nothing.” She flung her leg over the horse’s back.

  She gave him a little bit of leg, and he moved off. She meandered around in the meadow and purposely guided him around the patches of flowers. After several minutes, she decided he wasn’t going to do anything and let him pick his own path. She looked over at Selena and shrugged. Selena waved her hand, insinuating she should keep moving.

  “Whatever.”

  A few clouds drifted aimlessly over the sun. The instant shadowing put a different hue of colors onto the meadow. The slight breeze brought the song of a Hammond’s flycatcher to her ears. She squinted and tried to locate the elusive little bird in the spruce trees at the meadows edge.

  With no warning snort, she lay on the ground, trying to remember if she’d even realized what was happening before she went flying. She heard running footsteps coming toward her and just laid back and worked on catching her breath.

  In a few moments, Selena stood over her, her body blocking the sun. She couldn’t see her face but assumed she was trying not to laugh again.

  “Well, Watson, I hope you have a solution to this nonsense, because I’m about ready to let you ride him home.”

  Selena squatted down and inadvertently put the sun in Roni’s eyes. “Are you okay?”

  “Why do I feel like it’s Groundhog Day?”

  “Huh?”

  “Never mind. Yes, I’m fine.”

  A broad smile grew on Selena’s face. “Poor Sparky. I think I know what’s going on.”

  Roni grabbed Selena’s arm and let her pull her onto her feet. “Thank God. I’m not sure if I could survive another one of your experiments.”

  Selena playfully slapped her arm. “Oh shut up. Do you want to hear or not?”

  “Poor Sparky.” She snorted in disbelief. “What about poor Roni?”

  Selena patted her on the back. “You’re fine. Let’s go sit in the shade by the boulders, and I’ll tell you.”

  She picked up Sparky’s reins, and they walked to Selena’s horse so she could collect him too. They had a perfect view of the mountain range and the connecting rocky hillside. Roni pulled two sandwiches, the canteen, and her binoculars from her saddlebag and joined Selena who’d already found a decent place to sit.

  “Well? Don’t keep me in suspense. Tell me why I risked life and limb for your deranged research purposes.” She took a bite from her peanut butter sandwich and chewed slowly.

  Selena put her sandwich on her knee and turned toward her. Her body radiated excitement. Roni thought she looked adorable, almost like a kid dying to open a present.

  “All right, here’s my theory. It probably scared the shit out of Sparky when the thoroughbreds kept biting him. But his rider made him put up with it by hitting him, and he eventually lost all his confidence. Aggression creates aggression and that was probably the only way he knew how to deal with it. Follow me so far?”

  Roni nodded. “But that doesn’t explain why he throws me.”

  Selena held her finger up. “I’m getting to that. So Sparky has zero self-confidence. He gets sold to your ranch and then beaten by your foreman, thereby further ingraining his instinct to distrust everybody. You come along, and because you’re kind to him, he’ll do anything for you.”

  “I don’t ask him to throw me.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong.”

  “What? You’re nuts. We need to get off this mountain. This thin air is doing something to your brain.”

  “Just hear me out. You guided him around the meadow, and he did fine. But as soon as you forced him to make his own decisions, or relaxed and took your leg off him, you put him in charge. He’s not comfortable being in that position so he did what comes naturally. Tossed you on your ass.”

  She stared at Selena and allowed her logic to sink in. “So how do I fix him?”

  “Ah, that’s where it gets tricky. You have to earn his trust so he can regain his confidence. And it’s up to you, Veronica Oatman, renowned horse trainer, to figure out how to challenge and encourage him at the same time.”

  Roni turned her attention to the rocky outcropping and raised her binoculars to scan the area.

  “I insulted you didn’t I?”

  “Of course not. Why would you think that?”

  “Because you haven’t said anything.”

  “Trust me, you didn’t insult me. I just feel stupid for not figuring it out myself.”

  Selena slid closer and draped her arm over her shoulder. “You’re being too hard on yourself. I’ve found that if you’re too close to a problem, it makes it that much harder to solve.”

  “Sort of like the forest and the trees thing, huh?”

  “Something like that. Build my confidence that your eyes work, and find me a goat to look at.”

  They sat in silence while Roni concentrated on searching for a mountain goat or sheep. There were still small patches of snow on the slopes. If she got lucky, she’d spot one of the elusive animals lying on one.

  Seeing nothing at the moment, she gingerly worked a small slab of rock from an outcropping next to her knee and felt the thrill of peering into the past. Its surface held the fossilized remains of marine mammals that lived, swam, and scuttled about when the earth was primeval mud. The tiny bit of limestone slab she held was part of an ancient ocean floor, now turned to stone. She never got tired of these little discoveries. Thinking she’d someday give the fossil to her new niece, she slipped it into her pocket.

  Selena rested against the boulder, and when Roni glanced back, she’d already closed her eyes. Selena’s face was relaxed and smooth. Her windblown hair made her look that much more attractive.

  “You’re supposed to be looking for goats.”

  “I’m looking at one right now.”

  Selena slid one eye open, promptly nudged her with her boot, and made her laugh.

  Roni leaned back onto her elbows and stretched her legs out in front of her. She wondered where Jeff was. “I’m sorry about this morning.”

  “Don’t worry about it. It’s done. Just be forewarned. I’m bringing my duct tape to future meals in case you two start bickering again.”

  “It’s just that . . . I guess I’m jealous. Beth is my best friend. She was my friend first, before she even met Jeff. We shared everything. We confided in and told each other all our secrets and plans. Jeff and I did the same thing when we were young. Nowadays they’re married to each other with a baby on the way, and I feel left out.” Roni paused for a moment. “The sex thing doesn’t bother me so much. I’ve always known Beth was straight. Though I have to admit I’ve had my fantasies. But I think the thing that really torques me is that they have a separate life of their own and don’t seem to need me anymore. I feel like a fucking third wheel most of the time.”

  Selena sat up and scooted closer to her. “I can imagine it’s hard. I felt the same way when my mom and dad got divorced. I lived with my mom, and we were super close. There wasn’t anything I couldn’t tell her. When she remarried, I had a very hard time sharing her. She didn’t talk to me like she used to anymore. She had Tim.”

  “How did you deal with that?” Roni sat up and crossed her legs. She picked up a pebble and rubbed it clean between her thumb and index finger.

  “It was difficult at
first because I had to learn to rely on myself. I spent a lot of time alone, searching for who I really was. Outward Bound helped me a ton. Of course so did the fact that I met Kim there. When it came right down to it, I had to learn to trust myself before I could trust anybody else.”

  “That makes sense.” Roni wet the rock with some spit and admired the granite grain imbedded in it. “I’m glad you were assigned up here. I haven’t talked to anybody like this since Beth and Jeff got together. It feels good to get it off my chest, you know?” Despite enjoying their heart-to-heart, she didn’t feel secure enough to meet Selena’s eyes.

  “I’m glad too, and yes I know. I somehow knew when we first met that we’d get along and become friends, especially when I found you half-naked in the meadow and completely defenseless.”

  Roni felt the heat of a wicked blush rise up her neck. She tilted her head back, closed her eyes for a couple seconds, and moaned. “Oh my God, you’re never going to let me live that down are you?”

  Selena answered her with an evil grin. “Let’s put it this way. I far underestimated the scenery up here. Come on, we should probably head back. See if you can stay in the saddle on the way down, okay?”

  “Stop teasing me. You have to promise not to tell Jeff I took two headers.” Roni wasn’t entirely sure he wouldn’t be able to guess it himself. As she stood up, her stiff muscles complained. “I feel like I’ve been wrangling all day.”

  “In a way, you have. Don’t worry, I won’t say anything, but you might want to pick all the crushed flower petals out of your hair before we get back.”

  Chapter Twelve

  THE CABIN CAME into view as they rode out of the woods. Roni was surprised to see Jeff’s horse saddled and standing by the porch. They urged their mounts to canter and stopped in front just as he came out the door with his coat draped over his arm.

  “Hey, I’m glad you’re back. I put a note on the table because I wasn’t sure if I’d see you before I left.” He trotted down the steps and adjusted the saddlebags.

  “What’s going on, Jeff?” Selena dismounted and loosened the girth of her saddle.

  “You got the call, didn’t you?” Roni got off as well and stood by Sparky. A mixture of excitement and sadness washed over her.

  “Beth went to the doctor today. He said she’ll deliver the baby in a couple of days and that she should get me down there as soon as possible.” He walked over to Roni and gave her a hug. “I’m going to be a dad! Holy shit! I’m going to be a dad!”

  She hugged him back and grinned at his evident enthusiasm. “I’m really happy for you, Jeff. Be careful going down and make sure you radio when you get there. And I want constant updates on Beth and the baby.”

  “You got it.” He hoisted himself into the saddle and picked up his reins. A radiant smile covered his face, and his eyes twinkled with obvious joy. “Thanks, Roni, for everything.”

  “Get out of here before she has that baby without you.” Roni thumped his leg with her fist.

  He tipped his hat to both of them and took off in a gallop across the meadow. The remaining horses snorted and hoisted their tails as he raced through the middle of them.

  “Are you okay?” Selena stood next to Roni and put an arm around her waist.

  She breathed a deep sigh. “Yeah.” She looked off toward the meadow where Jeff had disappeared.

  Selena shook her and said, “Things will work out, you’ll see,” and then released her.

  Roni offered her a wan smile and turned her attention to Sparky. “You and I have some stuff to work through, don’t we, big boy?”

  Dinner that night was unusually quiet without Jeff’s deep baritone voice, and the smell of pipe tobacco was noticeably absent. Roni had to admit she even missed his teasing, until she realized that was just masochistic. Afterward, they both sat and read for a while. The fire in the stove popped and crackled from the pine wood she’d fed it. Puller was curled up between her legs and snoring. She was fighting a losing battle between trying to read and the need for sleep, and she finally gave up.

  “You can sleep in Jeff’s room while he’s gone. Just bring your sleeping bag in. I won’t vouch for the cleanliness of his blankets.”

  Selena closed her book and laid it on her chest. She yawned and stretched at the same time. “Thanks. I think I’ll take you up on that offer.”

  Selena rose from her chair, and Puller woke up and watched her. As soon as she headed toward the door, he jumped down and followed her out. Roni could hear Selena talking to him in muffled tones and wondered what she was saying.

  Laughter woke her from the nap that claimed her during their absence. She picked her book off the floor, sat up, and rubbed her face.

  “You two are having way too much fun.” She stretched tentatively, knowing she’d be sore.

  “Oh my God, Roni, Puller just cracks me up. He came into the cabin with me, and before I knew it, he burrowed down into the foot of my sleeping bag. I wouldn’t have pegged you for a small dog lover, but I can see why you bring him up here.”

  “Oh, I guess you wouldn’t know. He’s my search dog.”

  Selena looked at Puller and laughed in disbelief. “Right.” She walked to the doorway of the other bedroom and threw her sleeping bag and duffel onto the bed.

  “Careful, you’ll insult him. I’m serious. When I got him, I was looking for a non-shedding, small, fearless dog to hunt gophers on the ranch.” She patted her leg and Puller jumped into her lap.

  Selena sat down next to her and reached over to pet him. “I’ve never heard of anybody using a dachshund.”

  “He rides in the pocket of my vest. Mom modified it so he’d fit in. I didn’t know what he could do until he was about two years old. I was out riding the range one afternoon and had Puller with me. I found a saddled horse running loose near the property line. Puller started barking, and when I looked down, I saw he wasn’t looking at the horse. He was staring off toward the nearby gully. So I humored him and rode over and found the rider lying unconscious near the stream. Ever since then, he goes with me on every search mission. I used to get a lot of teasing about having a wiener dog for search and rescue, until people saw him work.”

  “That’s an amazing story. What a good boy you are,” Selena said affectionately. Puller whipped his tail back and forth.

  Roni met Selena’s eyes and held them. “I’m glad he likes you. He’s usually a little standoffish with people he doesn’t know.”

  “I’m glad too. But I don’t think he’s timid at all.”

  “He’s a little food monger. Most people only see his dark side until he notices them chewing on something.”

  Selena’s laughter filled the cabin. “Come to think of it, I was eating something when I first met him.”

  Roni tried and failed to stifle a yawn. Her eyes felt like someone had thrown a bucket of sand in them. “I think I’m going to hit the hay.”

  “I think that’s a fine idea. I’m beat too. Is there anything I should know about sleeping in here?”

  “You already know where the bathroom is. What else is there?” She stood up and looked down at Selena.

  “Oh, I don’t know. Do you walk in your sleep? Should I be worried about any ghostly figures?”

  Roni snorted. “No on both accounts. We do have a resident mouse that sits on Jeff’s chest and eat seeds while he’s asleep. Mickey’s usually gone by morning, but he tends to leave a mess.”

  “Duly noted. Thanks.”

  Deep in the middle of the night, Roni awoke, her eyes heavy and gritty with sleep. Only half awake, she shuffled out of her room to go to the bathroom. She put her elbow against the wall and slid it along to feel her way with her hand outstretched. She made a right turn and ran into Selena. Literally. She inadvertently rubbed the palm of her outstretched hand against Selena’s breast. She heard a soft gasp before realizing what she’d done and that the bump she felt was a nipple.

  “Oh, Jesus, I’m sorry.” She pulled her hand away like it was on fire. �
�I didn’t look. It was dark, and, and I had my eyes closed.”

  Selena’s soft laugh alerted her to how close their lips were. Instinctively she leaned in and placed a soft kiss on them . . . and instantly regretted it.

  “Oh shit.” She pulled away. “I’m sorry.”

  “Quit apologizing.” Selena placed her hand on her arm. “I didn’t mind.”

  “I didn’t either. And that’s the problem. I like you.” Roni pulled away and leaned against the wall. Her skin tingled where Selena’s hand had been, and she tried her damnedest to ignore it. “We can’t do this. It’s not right.” She couldn’t do this here, in this cabin, where thoughts of Beth haunted her. For some inexplicable reason, she felt like she was betraying Beth.

  Moonlight played over Selena’s face, casting shadows here and there, making her more beautiful than ever. The inside of the cabin seemed oddly luminescent, while outside the full moon beamed bright enough see a short distance into the thick forest. Roni thought this entire scenario romantic and insanely erotic. She chanced a look at Selena who stood motionless, maybe waiting for her to make a move, or at the very least, make up her mind.

  “Fuck!” She pushed past Selena, slammed the door behind her, and leaned her weight against it.

  “Roni? Can we talk about this?”

  She didn’t answer. After a few moments she heard a sigh and retreating footsteps. The slam of Jeff’s bedroom door felt like a punch in the gut. She took a breath and made a concerted effort to relax her shoulders and unclench her fists.

  “What the hell did I just do?”

  Kissing Selena was the last thing she wanted to do. They’d become good friends in the short time she’d been on the mountain. Selena made her laugh, made her think, and lent an ear when she needed a confidant. She didn’t want to ruin that friendship by sleeping with her. Because of the feelings she harbored for Beth, she could never be the kind of lover Selena deserved. She sure as hell didn’t want to make it even more complicated.

  It would be impossible to go back to sleep. She was too tired to think and wired too drum-tight to do anything but work it off. She dressed quickly. Careful not do anything to alert Selena, she slipped out the cabin door.