Hard To Love

by Ross, Sabrina

  My eyes widened.

  “Hey,” Mason said, looking up at me.

  “You know him?” the cook asked, looking back at me. I gulped, not knowing what to say. Then I shook my head and backed away.

  “Lauren,” Mason sighed.

  “It sounds like he knows you.” The cook took a haul off his cigarette and walked away.

  “What do you want, Mason?” With my arms crossed, I slowly made my way towards him.

  He shrugged slightly and replied, “To talk.”

  “Shouldn’t you be eating dinner with your family?” I asked.

  “I wasn’t hungry.” He smirked. “Liquid diet.” I rolled my eyes. “Come out here for a minute.”

  “Why do you want to talk to me?” I asked, leaning on the brick wall on the other side of the fenced-in area.

  “Haven’t seen your face in a few days, was starting to wonder if you skipped town. Now I see where you’ve been hiding,” he said.

  “I wasn’t hiding,” I scoffed. “Some of us have to work for a living.”

  “You think I don’t work?” he asked with a chuckle. My head titled slightly, and I rolled my eyes again. “I really hate this perception you have of me,” he said, placing his palm on the wall next to my head.

  “Then change it,” I whispered, biting my lower lip.

  “How?” His tongue darted out, moistening his lips.

  I felt my eyes get heavier the longer he stared. With focused eyes, he slid his hand along my jaw into my hair. His face was so close that our noses almost touched and the warmth of his breath tickled my lips. As I closed my eyes, waiting to feel the touch of his lips against mine, someone called my name.

  “Lauren.” The cook from earlier popped his head out. “Peterson is looking for you.”

  I replied, “Thanks.” Mason’s eyes slowly left mine, landing on the cook, who immediately looked away. “I have to get back,” I told him and walked away swiftly, moving past everyone in the back area and straight to the office, where Mrs. Peterson grilled me on leaving my section unattended.

  By ten my shift had finally ended. A quick glance across the restaurant filled me with relief; the Harpers’ table was empty. I hated how nervous he made me. Even as I thought of him earlier when he was about to kiss me, made my heart flutter. I knew that if we hadn’t been interrupted I would have let him. I didn’t understand what was happening to me. He was never polite, and even when he was being sweet, a hint of sarcasm followed. I shrugged it off and finished pushing the chairs in under the tables in my area. I made sure my tales and the carpets were clean.

  Before I left for the night, Mrs. Peterson took me into her office and she spoke to me about earlier. I apologized for the second time, promising to never let it happen again. She gave me a thin smile and nodded.

  “Have a good night, new girl,” the cook from earlier said as I walked past him.

  “It’s Lauren,” I corrected.

  “I know.” He smiled, then went back to what he was doing, putting a smile on my face for the first time that night. As I walked around the side of the building to where my car was parked, I stopped short. Mason was leaning on the trunk of my car. My eyes scanned the parking lot. No red Ferrari.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, still looking around, hoping to find his car.

  “Wanted to finish what we started,” he said, smiling.

  “Mason—”

  “Shh.” His movements were swift, his palms cupping my cheeks. My lips parted, breath ragged as his thumb lightly dragged across my bottom lip. My eyes locked on his, and the need to kiss him grew stronger as the seconds passed. His hands slid into my hair as he inched closer. I felt his eager breath on my face, his eyes still on mine. Shivers ran up my spine; a tingle filled my belly as his hands ran across the back of my neck. It was then that he pressed his lips on mine. I leaned in to him, yielding to the soft strength of his kiss, letting out a gasp as our lips parted for a moment. My arms wrapped around his neck, feeling his passion in my body, heart and soul. His arms squeezed around my waist tightly. Then he lifted me onto the trunk of my car. “I—don’t— know—why I waited so long to do that,” he whispered, breathless.

  “What does this mean?” I gasped our faces inches apart.

  “I don’t know,” he whispered, his hands on the sides of my face, his thumbs brushing across my cheeks. “I—I can’t stop thinking about you. I don’t understand it.” His lips hovered over mine. My eyes fluttered and all words escaped me. My eyes focused on his eyes, then lips and back to his eyes again. Cupping his face in my hands, I stared intently, trying to figure him out. I wanted to believe that everything he was saying was true.

  “How do you do this to me?” I said my voice unsteady.

  “What do I do?” he whispered with heavy lids, breath rapid and lips wanting more.

  I replied, “Turn my world upside down.” I leaned close, slowly brushing my lips over his. His body tensed and he grabbed me tight in his embrace. His kiss was hard and rushed. It felt as if we had breathed our souls and all our passion into each other in that kiss.

  A sob caught in my throat, and I knew instantly that I had fallen for him. Everything about him went against my morals and better judgement. He would hurt me—that was inevitable—but deep within me all I wanted was him.

  “Where are you going from here?” he gasped, pulling away.

  “I don’t know,” I said, breathy, kissing him again. “Let’s see where this takes us.”

  “My place or yours,” he whispered, and I felt his smirk against my lips.

  “That’s—not what I meant.” I shoved him back gently. “I meant where it takes us relationshipwise.”

  “Relationship—whoa! I think we are rushing things.” He backed away, raising his hands.

  “Seriously, Mason?” I gasped in disbelief.

  He cleared his throat. “I don’t do relationships.”

  “I don’t do one-night stands,” I said angrily, hopped off the trunk of my car and walked around to the driver’s side door.

  “Where are you going?” he asked, following me.

  “Home . . . alone.” I glowered.

  “I need a ride.” He stood, his raised hands palms up.

  “There’s a cab,” I said and pointed to the parked cab.

  He scoffed, “Really, Lauren.”

  “Really, Mason.” I crossed my arms.

  “Lauren—” Just then my cell phone rang, giving me a bit of a fright. I searched through my purse and answered it.

  “Hey, Cassie.” I turned and got in the car.

  Cassie invited me to her late-night party, which I tried to decline, but she insisted I show up. With a grumble I agreed and drove home to change into something more comfortable before making my way over. I left my mother a note for the morning in case I didn’t make it home that night.

  When I pulled up to Cassie’s parents’ place, I was surprised to see so many cars in the driveway. I pulled in behind the other and the engine silenced with a turn of the key. I sat in the car, debating on leaving before anyone saw my car. Then a knock on my passenger side window startled me. I tilted my head to see out the windshield. Nick waved at me. I cursed.

  “Hey , you,” he said, stopping. “Are you coming?” he asked, waiting. I chewed the inside of my cheek, and shut my eyes, hoping he would disappear. No such luck. I got out and joined him.

  “Are you just getting here?” I asked.

  “Yes, Cassie just called,” he replied.

  I tried to hide my displeasure as I nodded. Cassie invited us

  both on purpose. Cassie actually preferred Nick’s company over Mason’s that much I knew. She had made that clear once or twice, also mentioning Nick was the better choice of the two. What she did not know was what happened between Mason and me tonight.

  “ I wish I had the chance to speak to you earlier. You kept pretty busy.” We walked towards the side of the house. The patio lights shone brightly from the backyard.

  “ Yeah
, Thursday nights can be busy,” I replied with a shrug. “You work all week?” He gave me a side glance.

  “Yep,” I said, biting down on the inside of my lips. The way he

  looked at me made me so uncomfortable.

  “Sorry about the other night,” he said, touching my arm,

  bringing me to a stop. “I was a little tipsy. Normally, I don’t let

  my emotions get the best of me.” He smiled and blushed. Averting my eyes, I replied, “Forgotten.” But he chuckled and

  then shook his head. “What?” I asked.

  “Was it that bad?” He sucked a breath in, wincing.

  “Huh?”

  “You said forgotten. I’m guessing that I’m a lousy kisser if you

  are able to forget about it that easily,” he said.

  Now I was uncomfortable again. “You apologized. What did

  you want me to say?” I asked, looking away.

  “That you liked it and wanted me to do it again.” His lips

  slightly curved into a smile, and then it was turn to blush. My brow

  arched and I couldn’t control how I reacted because my emotions

  were heightened after seeing Mason.

  “Look, I don’t know what you and Mason are up to, but I would

  prefer it if you kept me out of it,” I said in one breath.

  “How does Mason come into this? He has nothing to do with

  my actions.” His brow furrowed.

  “I figured it was some sort of pissing contest with the two of

  you,” I gulped.

  “I knew there was something I liked about you.” He smirked. “And I don’t care what that little weasel does in his spare time? He has no morals, cares of nothing but himself. If I was you, I’d steer

  clear of him,” he said and walked away.

  Shutting my eyes, I breathed slowly. This party was off to a

  good start. The temptation to leave was great. However, Cassie

  was questioning my absence for the week, which I had no excuse

  for. Well, other than complete embarrassment from the last time I

  was at the club. Nick turned the corner before me and announced

  that I was behind him. When I came around the corner, Cassie

  squealed and ran over.

  “I have missed you. Where have you been?” she asked, hugging

  me. “Why have you not been answering my calls or calling me

  back?”

  “Can we talk about this another time?” I asked.

  “No. We can talk now.” She grabbed my arm and told

  everyone we were going for a walk. “Spill it,” she said, crossing

  her arms.

  “I was embarrassed, Cass.” I stretched my neck, feeling tense.

  “That night at the club, I felt humiliated in front of everyone.” I

  fought against the tears.

  “I wouldn’t worry about it. Mason is an ass and everyone

  knows that,” she replied, linking her arm with mine.

  “Are you sure about that, Cassie? Because I sure felt like I was

  the villain.” My brow furrowed and I prayed at that moment that

  she was done talking about it.

  “Oh, it wasn’t that bad. I’ve seen worse,” Cassie said, laughing. “What bar were you at?” I gasped. “I saw your face, Cassie. I

  can’t get it out of my head. You were just as mortified as I was.”

  My hands covered my face.

  “I wasn’t mortified because of that,” she said, pulling me in to

  her chest. “I was worried about how you were feeling.” She stood

  in front of me, shaking her head. “Mason is an ass. Just because

  he’s family doesn’t mean I excuse his behaviour. He gets away

  with it because he is handsome. It’s the women that fall for him.

  One of these days, a woman is going to destroy him, and he will

  regret being such a jerk,” she said, hugging me.

  “I don’t know why I keep going to him,” I groaned. After a long

  silence I added, “He showed up after work tonight.”

  “Shut up?” she gasped. “Tell me everything.”

  “Yes. He was standing by my car.” I shook my head, frustrated.

  “He kissed me and told me he can’t stop thinking about me. I’m

  confused, Cassie. I can’t tell if he likes me or if he is playing me.”

  I grumbled. “He infuriates me. I knew I wasn’t ready for this. I’m

  too damn emotional.”

  “He didn’t see you cry, did he?” she asked. My eyes glanced

  away. Cassie’s eyes widened.

  Technically, he did see me cry but he didn’t know why I was

  crying. He just found me that way.

  “Lauren, please tell me you didn’t cry in front of him.” She

  grabbed my shoulders.

  I winced. “Earlier, after I served your appetizers. I was in the

  back freaking out, and well, my emotions got the best of me. Then

  he showed up at the back door.”

  “That’s where he went.” She tapped her lips. “He doesn’t know

  why you were crying?”

  “No.”

  “Good. Don’t let him in, I beg you,” she said, creating a steeple

  with her hands. “I tell all my girlfriends who meet him that he is

  nothing but trouble. If you let him in, Lauren, he will hurt you.”

  She grabbed my face in her hands, looking me in the eye. “I know,” I replied. My eyes shut and I let out a deep sigh.

  Cassie was right. Mason had the reputation of breaking hearts, not

  mending them.

  “Now, Nick, on the other hand—”

  “No. Nah-uh. Don’t go there.” I shook my head, walking away. “He doesn’t have the bad-boy reputation that Mason has,” she

  assured me.

  I stopped and spun around, glancing quickly to see if anyone

  was around, then whispered, “He kissed me on the dance floor that

  same night at the club, then asked if I wanted to go home with him.

  I’m sure they are quite similar,” I growled.

  “Oh.” She screwed her lips to the side. “Sorry. I didn’t know.” “Now you do,” I huffed. I felt terrible even though I never

  instigated either situation.

  “Well, let’s drink our woes away.” She linked her arm with

  mine.

  “What woes do you have?” I scoffed.

  “None, but I will drink to yours.” She laughed.

  I rolled my eyes but laughed along with her. The music got

  louder as we walked around the side of the house to the backyard.

  The weather wasn’t quite cold enough to force us inside, and there

  were heat lamps around the patio.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  After an hour, I should have realized it was time to leave when everyone started to stumble around and then Cassie suggested a game of Truth or Dare. With at least fifteen of us, the game could go on for hours, and only three were coupled up. I pushed my chair away from the circle that had been created around the bonfire. That wasn’t the type of game I was interested in playing, especially with Nick around. Cassie started to announce the rules as she pulled my chair closer to the group. I shook my head, pleading with her to stop. She laughed and shook her head.

  “If you refuse to make a choice, you must take a drink or be thrown in the pool.” She laughed, repeatedly pointing her finger at me. I shook my head, glaring at her. “Who’s first?” she said, putting a bottle of tequila on the table with a shot glass.

  “You, since it’s your game ,” Charlie replied, pulling her down on his lap, and wrapping his arms around her.

  “Okay, fine, I’ll start,” she said. “Dare.”

  “I dare you to kiss Simone,” Charlie said without hesitation. Cassie rolled her e
yes and got up from his lap. Charlie watched with a grin on his face.

  “Wow, we’re starting heavy already.” Trevor laughed.

  When it came around to me, I refused and boos ensued. I was forced to take a shot of tequila. I choked back the shot, grabbing my beer to wash it down, rethinking my strategy. But I wasn’t the only one who refused to play. Nick passed as well with a full shot glass already in his hand. What I noticed was everyone was choosing me on purpose, and after the fourth shot I gave in.

  If I took another shot, I was pretty sure it wouldn’t stay down. The next time it came around to me, I thought I would be smart and pick truth, since no one else had. Cassie had gone inside at that time to grab another bottle of tequila from her parents’ liquor cabinet.

  “Is it true that you smacked Nick at Gravity over the weekend?” Rebecca asked, leaning in with a huge smile on her face. I gasped and totally wanted to deny it, but it was obvious some of them had seen me do it.

  “Yes.” I blushed and glanced over at Nick, who smiled. “Your turn to pick someone,” Cassie said as she sat down. I looked around the table, trying to decide who I would pick.

  “Charlie, truth or dare?” I asked.

  “Truth.” He smirked. I had no idea what to ask him because I honestly didn’t care.

  “What was the most dishonest thing you have ever done?” I asked, sipping my beer.

  He thought about it for a minute, then smiled and replied, “When I was eighteen, I slept with my best friend’s sister.” He laughed. Everyone laughed while booing him.

  I pulled my legs up, hugging them against my chest. The alcohol was kicking in real good now. At one point I couldn’t stop laughing, and when someone else chose me again and I took a shot, most if it didn’t make it in my mouth. Embarrassed, I wiped my chin and neck with the sleeve of my sweater. The next time my name was called, I chose dare, I didn’t want to admit to any more truths about myself. Rebecca’s smile widened, and she looked over at Nick, then back at me. Rebecca was more interested in what I would do than anyone else.

  “I dare you to kiss Nick.” Everyone hooted and hollered. “But it has to be with tongue and for five minutes.” She added with a big grin. I stopped laughing and cleared my throat.

  Why Nick? I thought to myself. I focused on the bottle of tequila, trying to decide if I could handle another shot without throwing up.