Repentance: The Story of Kace Haywood

by Meghan Quinn

  We got out of the car and surveyed the little home that belonged to Linda and Madeline. It was still early in the morning, so condensation kissed the grass and a light fog was in the air, which would soon be burned off by the Louisiana heat. The street was quiet, neighbors only starting to wake.

  To someone else, it might be too early in the morning, it might look like a dreary day with the fog still blocking the view of the neighbor’s houses, but to me, it was a new dawn, a new day, a new beginning. I felt invigorated for the first time in a while.

  Nodding at each other, we walked to the front of the house and gently knocked on the door for the first time. I’d been on this stoop before. I’d wondered what kind of life the residents led, if they hated me, if they despised me, but this time, I was confident I would be accepted with open arms into this quaint little home.

  After a few moments of silence, the click of locks opening echoed in the silent morning and then Linda opened the door wearing a long terrycloth robe, her hair in a ponytail. Bunny slippers covered her feet and a pair of polka-dot pajama pants peeked out from under her robe. When she saw me, she flew into my arms and hugged me.

  She was warm, friendly. She allowed me to relax. I wrapped my arms around her and returned the gesture. She cried into my shoulder as her hold on me grew stronger. Jett stood to the side, observing like he always did.

  I’d never once believed I would be standing on Linda’s doorstep with her arms wrapped around my waist, happy to see me. It was hard to believe because I’d spent the last few years instilling in my head that this woman hated me, that she would celebrate the day I died for what I had taken away from her. Instead, I was celebrated as a hero, as a protector, as a savior. Words I never would have used to describe myself.

  I was on a fucking high. Take my boxing career, take the last few years away from me, I didn’t give a fuck, as long as in the end, I was the man who came out on top, the man these ladies looked up to, the man who was a blessing in disguise.

  Linda pulled away and wiped her tears. “I’m so glad you came by.” She laughed. “As you can see.”

  “Linda, this is my friend, Jett Colby.”

  “Why yes, you own Justice. Madeline and I are so grateful for your kindness to the community, opening such a center for this city. It was a pure act of selflessness.”

  “Pleasure is mine,” Jett responded while shaking Linda’s hand. “Glad you were able to find peace within Justice.”

  The meaning of Jett’s words were heavy. We all felt the weight of them and what he was conveying.

  “May we come in?” I asked, feeling the tears she’d shed on my shirt. They were happy tears, tears I didn’t mind seeing shed.

  “Of course. Please excuse the mess. Madeline and I had a slumber party in the living room, so sleeping bags are on the floor.”

  As I entered the little house, I instantly felt at ease. The walls were a beautiful yellow color, the same yellow that was in Goldie’s room at the Lafayette Club. All the furniture was white, and there were little touches of orange and teal all around the house. I felt calm, my pulse wasn’t racing, and my skin didn’t crawl. Instead, I felt like I’d found another home, a piece of me that had been missing.

  To the right was the living room where there were pillows and sleeping bags on the floor. DVD cases were strewn across the coffee table, Frozen being the one that was open. Two cans of soda with straws coming out of them were sitting next to a giant bowl of only kernels left on the bottom. The scene made my heart ache in a good way.

  Linda and Madeline were thriving, more than I could have ever asked for.

  “Went to the bathroom!” Madeline said as she skidded into the living room, stopping abruptly when she saw there was company. “I mean… used the ladies’ room,” she corrected herself, looking embarrassed.

  She was wearing the same pants and slippers as her mom, but her hair was a wild mess on top of her head, and she was wearing a Frozen shirt that was entirely too large on her. In a few short days, I’d learned to absolutely adore this little girl.

  “Mr. Kace, what are you doing here?” she asked, twisting her shirt.

  “Madeline, is that how we greet our guests?”

  Madeline straightened and said, “Can I get you something to drink, Mr. Kace?”

  Chuckling, I squatted down in front of her just as I grabbed the box of beignets and opened it up in front of her. Her eyes widened from seeing the deep fried pastries. “Do you have anything that will go with these?”

  “Chocolate milk!” she said with excitement. “I would have to make it though. We have powder.”

  “Would you make my friend Jett and me a glass?”

  “I would love to.” She took off to the kitchen and started rustling around, opening cabinets and shutting them.

  Linda shook her head. “Putting your drinks in Madeline’s hands. I would watch out, boys.” Linda smiled and led us to the dining room to a small round white table and matching chairs. Linda pulled back a teal curtain so the morning light came in.

  “Your house is beautiful, Linda,” Jett complimented.

  “Thank you, Mr. Colby.”

  “You can call me Jett.” Sincerity laced his voice.

  “Thank you,” Linda said. “When Marshall passed, I decided to redo the house with some of the insurance money we got. The house was so dark and dreary before. It had his decorations, he was everywhere, and I needed to be rid of him. Madeline helped me pick the paint color, and we went to work. I couldn’t imagine this house any other way.”

  “It’s so cheery and inviting,” I praised.

  “Thank you. It’s what we were going for.”

  Before Madeline reappeared, I pulled out the envelope Linda gave me before I left the community center the other day and handed the envelope to Linda, who refused to take it. “Linda, take this, please.”

  “No.” She shook her head. “That is your money, Kace. Start over with it.”

  “Linda, I gave this to you for a reason.”

  “Yes, and even though your reasoning was very sweet, we don’t need it. We are doing just fine. I have a well-paying graphic design job that allows me to work from home. We are good, Kace. We are taken care of.”

  “But what about Madeline’s college? Can I put it toward that?”

  Linda shook her head. “She’s set. This is your rebirth. Do me a favor and use it. Start a new chapter.”

  “Got the drinks,” Madeline said as she carried in a tray with four glasses of chocolate milk on them. She moved carefully to avoid spilling. Her tongue was sticking out as she concentrated on trying not to spill.

  She set the tray on the table and then kneeled on a chair and started handing out the glasses.

  “I put extra chocolate in yours, Mr. Kace. You look like a chocolate kind of guy.”

  “Is that right?” I asked.

  “Mom says milk makes you strong and you have lots of muscles, so I figured you drank a lot of chocolate milk.”

  “And I don’t have muscles?” Jett asked in a teasing tone.

  Madeline looked Jett up and down. “Hmm, I think Mr. Kace just wears smaller shirts.”

  A snort escaped Jett, and Linda warned her daughter to be polite. I knew Jett would never let that comment drop, so I looked forward to a future teasing.

  “Madeline, why don’t you get plates and napkins as well?”

  “Sure thing,” Madeline said, scurrying off to the kitchen once more.

  “I’m sorry about that,” Linda apologized to me.

  “Totally fine,” I said, taking a drink of my chocolate milk. Chunks of chocolate hit my tongue, and I about spit it back in my glass from the surprise of having a chunky chocolate milk, but I swallowed, despite my stomach revolting.

  “Told you to look out,” Linda chuckled as she grabbed a spoon from the tray and stirred her drink, breaking up the chunks.

  “I’m going to need that spoon after you,” I said, wiping the thick layer of chocolate off my mouth.

&nbs
p; Linda laughed and handed it over. I quickly stirred my drink and Jett’s before Madeline returned. I didn’t want her to feel insulted that she didn’t do a good job.

  “Do you like your drink, Mr. Kace?”

  “Very chocolatey,” I complimented.

  “I knew you would like chocolate.” She smiled that toothless grin at me.

  Madeline handed out plates and napkins and then opened the box of pastries. She divvied those out as well, giving us each one. She continued to kneel down on her chair and started to dig into her breakfast. With one bite, she had powdered sugar all over her face.

  She was too cute with her morning hair that rivaled Albert Einstein’s, her powder-covered face, and her oversized shirt. How could anyone else raise their hand to this precious little girl? The mere thought had my stomach buckling. Marshall Duncan was exactly where he belonged, six feet under.

  “These are good,” Madeline said before she picked up her glass of milk with both hands and took a big gulp. When she put her glass back down, she formed a chocolate and powdered sugar paste ring around her mouth. “I’m excited to hit the mats today,” Madeline said in between bites, using one of my terms.

  Linda shook her head and shrugged her shoulders at me, as if to say, girls will be girls.

  I chuckled and said, “Yeah, you going to throw down today?”

  “I’ve been practicing my jabs.” She closed her hand into a fist and punched the air while saying, “Pow, pow!”

  “Honey, remember, we talked about how you don’t have to make sound effects while punching,” Linda said with a motherly smile.

  “But it’s so much cooler with saying ‘pow,’ Mom. People take you more seriously if you make a noise. If you just jab the air, people will think you’re crazy, but if you say ‘pow pow’ while doing it, they will be sure not to mess with you. Isn’t that right, Mr. Kace?”

  “They’ll definitely back away.” I laughed.

  “See, Mom? Boxing is my second nature. Put me in the ring, and I will do some damage.”

  “You won’t be going in a ring,” Linda said protectively.

  “Ah, come on. Have you seen my footwork? No one can catch me.”

  Visions of Madeline bouncing around me in the Haze Room clouded my brain, making me smile.

  “We will consider it when you’re older,” Linda answered.

  “Sounds like a plan.” Madeline looked around. “Why am I the only one eating?” She pushed her hair aside, leaving powder in her wake. With a ring of chocolate on her face and powder all over her, she was one adorable hot mess.

  “Sorry,” I said, smiling and taking a giant bite. “Beignets are my favorite breakfast.”

  “They’re my second,” Madeline said, reaching for another. “I love French toast.”

  “So do I,” Jett chimed in. “Bananas Foster French toast is my favorite.”

  “That’s good,” Madeline nodded. “But I like peanut butter and Fruity Pebbles on mine. Oh, and marshmallows.”

  Both Jett and I looked up at Linda, who was resting her head in her hand. She laughed and said, “Remember, Madeline, that’s our French toast surprise that we keep between us.”

  “Oh yeah, well, Mr. Kace and Mr. Jett won’t tell anyone. Right, fellas?”

  “Right,” Jett and I said at the same time while chuckling.

  We finished up our breakfast while chatting with Madeline about her “summer plans” and listened to her tell us all about the “good values” a movie like Frozen had. She was so entertaining, I could have listened to her talk for a days.

  In the middle of her telling us all about her favorite Disney Princess, Mulan, she looked at the clock and screeched. “Mom, I need to get ready for class at Justice.”

  I had about half an hour before I had to start teaching. This go around, it was going to be much easier.

  “Well go get ready, honey, and I will take you. And please, wash your face,” Linda said.

  She took her dishes to the kitchen and went to her room. She tore out of the kitchen and down the hallway to her room. Her door slammed shut and Linda exhaled loudly.

  From down the hall, we heard her call out, “Sorry!”

  “She is a beautiful little girl, Linda. You’ve done a great job raising her,” Jett complimented.

  “Thank you. She can be a handful at times, but I can’t imagine a day without her.” Linda turned to me and said, “Why are you here this morning, Kace?”

  I knew the question was on her mind the entire morning, but speaking in front of Madeline would have been inappropriate, so she waited for a time when we were alone. I knew it was coming.

  Taking advantage of Madeline’s absence, I sat back in my chair and said, “I wanted to thank you for coming to me last night. I didn’t handle your news well at first. It was all a bit of a shock. I needed to let it soak in, but after I let it soak in and after I gave myself some closure, I wanted to thank you. I’ve been walking around in this world so focused on my past sins that I never realized how you might be fairing. I was convinced I ruined you, convinced that I destroyed any chance of Madeline having a normal life, but I was wrong. You gave me the gift of opening my eyes yesterday, and I have to thank you for that.”

  “I have to thank you as well,” Jett cut in. “Kace and I have been friends since grade school, and I know the man he can be. You brought him back, Linda. With your forgiveness, your grace, you brought my best friend back.”

  Tears streamed down Linda’s face as she listened to us. You don’t need to thank me,” she replied. “You gave me hope, Kace. You gave me freedom and you protected Madeline in a way I never could have. You’re a blessing to our family, and I hope you will continue to make us a part of your life. Madeline is quite fond of you.”

  “I would be honored,” I said, getting up and pulling Linda into another hug. “I’m quite fond of the both of you too.”

  Jett was right; justice always prevailed.

  Chapter Thirty Two

  My present…

  “Gahhh! Are you going to propose?” Goldie hopped up and down and clapped her hands together as I washed down the mats in the Haze Room after a long day of forgiveness, acceptance, and of course training Madeline and the other patrons of the community center.

  There was one more thing I had to do, and it was going to be the hardest part of all. It was the one thing I was dreading but looking forward to the most, if that made sense.

  “No, Goldie, I’m not proposing.”

  “Why not?” She crossed her hands over her chest like a child.

  “Because life doesn’t work like that.”

  “Yes it does,” she countered. “Let’s go pick out a ring.”

  “I asked you when Lyla worked, and you have me picking out a fucking ring? Don’t you see where you’re exaggerating here?”

  Goldie thought about it for a second and then shook her head. “Nope, I think we’re on the right path.”

  “Just tell me when the hell she’s working.”

  “God, you’re no fun. All I’m asking is for a little proposal. It’s not like I’m asking for little Lyla and Kace babies, but oh my God, can we talk about how cute they would be? Ahhhh, you guys would make beautiful babies, all mocha skinned and pretty eyed. Hopefully they don’t get your temper though because holy hell, could you imagine five of you running around, moody as fuck?” Goldie used a little person voice and said, “Dada, I shit my pants. Whatcha gonna do about it?”

  “There is something seriously wrong with you,” I said while getting up and taking the cleaning supplies back to the cabinet. The Haze Room was good to go. Now I just needed to shower and prepare for tonight. “So when does she work?”

  “She’s on stage at nine,” Goldie finally admitted.

  “Thank you,” I said while walking to the locker room and grabbing the duffel bag Diego had brought by for me since I had been too busy to stop at home.

  “Does this have to do with that other woman who brings her daughter here?” Goldie asked, seem
ing nervous about my answer. “Is she a love child?”

  “Ask your fiancé,” I responded, not in the mood to tell the nosey Goldie everything. Knowing her, she would ask a million questions, and I would never get out of here.

  “Ugh, he doesn’t tell me anything when it comes to you.”

  “Well, he has permission. Tell him that.”

  Goldie chased after me. “Can you text him that? He wouldn’t believe me if I told him.”

  “Maybe it’s because you lie too much,” I said, turning to face her.

  “I do not! I just embellish things. It makes for a better story.”

  “Say it how you want; it’s still lying.”

  “Whatever,” she responded defiantly. “Can you just text him for me?”

  “Why does it matter that much to you?” I asked, the bag slung over my shoulder.

  “Because I’m nosey! I need to know what’s going on in everyone’s lives. Do me a solid and text Jett, then I won’t bother you anymore.”

  “That’s a giant fucking lie, and you know it.” I laughed.

  Goldie gave me with a questioning look, as if she was confused by the person standing in front of her.

  “Umm, I’m sorry, did you just laugh?”

  “I’m leaving.” I turned but heard Goldie clapping behind me.

  “You laughed. It was all throaty and sexy too. Lyla is a lucky girl.”

  “Drop it, Goldie,” I warned but with mirth in my voice.

  I spent the next thirty minutes showering and getting dressed. Diego had packed a pair of my worn grey jeans, black chucks, black shirt, and black sock hat. The V-neck of the shirt showed off some of the muscles in my chest and for once in a long time, I actually appreciated the reflection in the mirror. For once, I was proud of the man who stood before me.

  I drove over to Kitten’s Castle and parked the car on one of the back streets near the club since cars were blocked off at night from going down Bourbon Street.

  Nerves settled in as I walked to Kitten’s Castle. In my head, Lyla would be happy to see me, but after I’d left her this morning without saying goodbye, I could see it being the last straw. There was only one way to find out.