She Took My Heart and Went Crazy

by A'zayler

  “You’re just lying now.” East chuckled but immediately felt bad afterward because that had come out completely wrong.

  That wasn’t even the slightest bit funny. Killian may have been a butthole, but he wasn’t all bad. Furthermore, he wasn’t even so terrible on the eyes to be considered not cute. He actually did possess cute qualities and features that looked better on him than any other man East had ever had. His persona and confident edge also overshadowed everything negative about him, making him sexier than men with the most commendable looks.

  “I’m tired of y’all making fun of my friend.” Jaylen’s face was serious. “Killian may not be super fine, but that nigga is super cool with mad swag and a good heart. Y’all gon’ lighten up on him, for real.”

  East’s chest sank at the same time she palmed her forehead. “I’m not making fun of him, believe me. I actually kind of like the nigga. He’s just so mean all the time.” East’s words turned to whispers as she watched Killian approach with two other people behind him. “It’s that attitude that makes him unattractive.”

  “I think it’s his way of keeping people away from him, but we’ll talk about this later,” Jaylen said as she stood to her feet and fixed her skirt.

  Totally disregarding the man and woman who had just walked into their section behind Killian, Jaylen moved around the table fixing her and East a drink. The mixture of pineapple juice and clear liquor was sure to be the devil that night. East could feel it, and she hadn’t even drunk any yet. She could just tell. Whenever she had something on her mind, and liquor was involved, she ended up doing things she normally wouldn’t.

  The obnoxiously prodigious man in front of her being a proven fact of that. Though she didn’t have the first objection to her past actions, she still would rather contain herself in the best way possible. To get a handle on her already heightening anxiety, East stood back to her feet and subsequently removed her drink from Jaylen’s hand.

  “Where you going?” Jaylen asked as East moved past her.

  East was looking over her shoulder and about to answer Jaylen when she caught Killian’s gaze on her. The hazy gloss covering his eyes gave way to his drunkenness while the lip tucked between his teeth alerted East of what she already knew. He wanted her, no matter how hard he tried to fight it. The casual way in which he slouched slightly in his seat with one arm thrown over the back and the other methodically rubbing his chin had East ready.

  The intensity in his peering unnerved her to the point of stillness. She’d been well on her way down the stairs, but the inner thumping of her girl promised her something more worth it. Killian was the remedy to the nagging ache she’d felt since their first intimate encounter. As much as she’d been downplaying it in hopes of seeming less desperate and attached, it was still a raging force that was beginning to take over her.

  The only thing that made her feel less idiotic for her feelings of possessiveness was the weight in his stare or the heavy feeling of attraction that was undoubtedly weighing her down.

  “East?” Jaylen asked again.

  Her eyes shifted from Killian to Jaylen. Still a bit off kilter from her stare down with her secret lover, East mumbled her response.

  “Now, you know I didn’t hear you.” Jaylen’s hand was on her hip as she waited.

  “My fault. I said I’m about to go down to the bar real quick.”

  The look on Jaylen’s face displayed her obvious confusion since she’d just given East a drink, but she went with it anyway. “Fine, just hurry up.”

  East turned her back, preparing to take the flight of stairs down but had only gotten down the first two when Killian’s long arm snaked around her waist from the back, pausing her movement.

  “Who told you that you could leave me?” His deep voice vibrated every nerve in her body as his lips brushed against the skin on her neck. “You ain’t ask or nothing.” He pecked her neck. “You was just gon’ leave.”

  East’s eyes closed as she sighed and sank into his chest. “Why you touching on me like this? Weren’t you just condemning me for dressing like a hoe?”

  “That ain’t what I said.” Killian slowly pecked up the side of her neck, trailing his wet tongue along his line of kisses. “I said you were dressing like you need a man.” Killian lightly tugged at the skin of her neck. “That’s not the same thing.”

  East shivered. “It was still rude.”

  “What you expect from a rude nigga?” The potent smell of liquor flowed from his mouth.

  East crossed her legs at the ankle, doing her best to appear unbothered as the crowd of people stood below, probably watching Killian’s public display of affection that she hadn’t approved nor rejected.

  “You weren’t rude that night.” East hinted at their sex.

  Killian inhaled at the same time his arm tightened around her waist. “You gave me a reason not to be,”

  “Is that what you need? A reason to be nice to me?”

  Killian chuckled seductively.

  “Sweetheart, you don’t want to know what I need.”

  Her girl leaped in excitement at the sound of his voice. Completely on the verge of being unable to control herself, East spun in his arms so that she could see his face. It was serious, as always, with a small smile in his eyes. The liquor he’d been drinking was really doing a number on him, but she liked it. He was way more tolerable when he was drunk. East noted in her mind to keep a spare bottle of Hennessey on her for when he was around.

  “Tell me, so I can get it for you.”

  The smile left his eyes as his head lowered. “You already got it.”

  “I figured that, but you won’t get it anymore unless you learn how to be nicer to me.”

  Killian’s other arm draped around her body as well, so she was now held in his embrace, in the middle of the club, in front of a room full of people, with no regard for them being categorized as a couple.

  “What if I don’t know how to be nice?”

  “You need to learn.”

  Killian’s lips disappeared into his mouth momentarily before popping back out. “For you.”

  “For me?”

  “For you, I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises.”

  East smiled. That was good enough for her. They could work the rest out later. For now, she just wanted to chill and have fun with him. Being with Killian freed her mind of all the struggles from her old relationship, and that was one thing she wanted desperately to rid herself of. The pain of her past clouded more of her present day than she cared to address, and for some reason, every time Killian surfaced, it ran.

  “Where you headed?” Killian’s large hand came up near her face and ran through her hair.

  “To the bar,”

  “Why? I got drinks here.”

  “I was actually going to get away from you.” East’s suppressed smile debuted anyway.

  “Hell nah.” Killian laughed at her while taking a few steps back and giving her some space again.

  East thought about telling him to come back but didn’t. She grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to her instead.

  “You were irritating me. I can only take so much of your mouth at once before I hit you in your throat.”

  “My fault, man, I was just tripping on you because I ain’t really like the way…” Killian’s words trailed off, and versus him resuming his sentence, he shook his head and looked away.

  “You didn’t like what?”

  His head shook again before he grabbed both sides of his hat and pulled it further onto his head, shielding his eyes.

  “You’re not going to tell me?”

  The subtle shake of his head left her in wonderment, but, for now… she’d let it pass. A quick wink from his right eye ended their conversation as he took a few steps backward toward his section. Although East wanted a full-blown explanation for why, she’d let him be. They may have been all touchy with each other, but they still weren’t a couple. Barely even knew each other, to be honest. She just l
iked the way he felt and the way he made her feel. Both were reason enough to keep her attention held on him.

  “Family!” Onyx’s deep voice sounded from behind East.

  When she turned around, he and their friend, Gabrion, were coming up the stairs. Both dressed to impress and looking very handsome. The button-down, dress pants, and loafers were totally different from Killian’s attire, but they all looked very nice. Either style worked for East. Not that she had much of choice since neither of them belonged to her.

  But, of course, Jaylen’s grown behind was in Onyx’s hands as soon as he stepped foot in the section. With her arms around his neck and her lips all over his neck, Jaylen openly expressed how happy she was to see her man.

  “Nigga, it took y’all long enough to get here,” Killian said as dapped both men up.

  East took that time to move out of their way. She was back on the bar and looking down at everyone else while the group of friends stood around interacting with each other. Her head bobbed, and she even danced a little by herself as she watched everyone below her.

  Since talking to Killian and having the reassurance that he still found her attractive, her mood had changed. She was no longer in a rush to leave, nor did she mind being in his section. Though she hadn’t voiced it initially, she was indeed hoping to meet a man while there. Being at Jaylen’s house got a little too boring sometimes, and she would love to at least have someone to talk to.

  In her opinion, Killian would work perfectly for the job, but only if he learned how to treat her. She’d been in one bad relationship, and she had no plans to indulge in another. Maybe if she could understand his reasoning for being so mean and standoffish, she could find a way to work with him, but until then, she was on the market.

  “Well, if it ain’t the little trespasser.” Gabrion’s words made East smile.

  “Shut up, I already told you about that.”

  His smile was breathtaking but didn’t necessarily take East’s breath away. Gabrion was very handsome and probably got more women than he could count, but something about him just didn’t do it for her. East couldn’t put her finger on what it was, but he was a no in her book.

  “I’m just fucking with you.” He wrapped one arm around her shoulder and quickly hugged her. “Come chill with everybody. You standing over here all by yourself like you’re too cool for us.”

  “No, I’m not. I’m just chilling. I’ll be over there in a minute.”

  “Aight, you straight. You had a drink?”

  “Yep, I’m good. Thank you.”

  Gabrion nodded and walked away. East stood in her same spot, not moving until she saw Sheena coming up the stairs. Since she didn’t necessarily like the way that Sheena carried on with Killian, she wanted to make sure she was near in case she started some shit.

  “It’s about time all of y’all got here,” she spoke as she took her seat next to Jaylen on the sofa.

  Onyx pointed at Gabrion with his thumb. “Waiting on this nigga to get dressed.”

  Sheena looked Gabrion over and smiled before looking at Killian. “Killian should have gotten dressed at one of y’all house. Maybe one of the two of you could have helped him take a few more minutes with his outfit.”

  East had just sat down on the corner of the sofa where Killian was sitting when he sat up so that he could see Sheena.

  “Fuck you, hoe.”

  Sheena cracked up laughing all by herself because no one else joined in.

  “I’m just saying, it doesn’t look like you spent very much time getting dressed,”

  “Just like it doesn’t look like you spent very much time getting you a man. Dusty foot ass.” Killian grabbed his liquor bottle and stood to his feet.

  He faintly tapped the side of East’s leg and nodded his head for her to follow him once he stood. East gave it a few seconds before obliging his subtle request. His long frame was leaning over the bar when East stepped next to him.

  “Your legs look sexy as shit in that dress,” Killian told her without even looking in her direction.

  East looked down at her thighs and smiled. “Yours look sexy as shit in them Levi’s. So nice and long.”

  Killian’s head fell forward as he chuckled to himself, probably blushing as well. East could tell. It was all in his posture.

  “Why you ain’t down there looking for you no man?” Killian turned his head and looked at her.

  “The same reason you ain’t down there looking for you a woman.”

  Killian laughed. “Nah,” he shook his head adamantly. “Can’t be.”

  “How you know?”

  Killian stood to his full height and looked down at her. “Because me and you don’t have the same kind of problems.” He winked and walked away.

  East watched him walk back to his friends before turning back around to face the crowd. There was something to Killian, she wasn’t sure what, but it was something, and she was going to find out. Whether he wanted her to or not.

  6. Good Enough

  “Not you too?” Sheena fussed as she threw what felt like the hundredth battery across her bedroom floor.

  It was the middle of the night, and since she’d been unsuccessful in finding a man at the club, she was forced to result to old faithful. The small pink bullet that she’d purchased from the sex store months ago sat dead in her hand. Pointless and disappointing. Sheena squeezed it in her hand, clicking the power button again in hopes of it popping on before it too went flying across the room.

  “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”

  Sheena’s hands went to both sides of her head and pulled at her hair in frustration. With her long, blonde sew-in intertwined in her fingers, she banged her head softly on her headboard. Sexually frustrated was an understatement for how she felt right then. It had been months since her last good sexual encounter and would probably be even longer now since her little sidepiece was tripping on her.

  Being a single, successful black woman had its perks, but it had its downfalls as well. When you were a different caliber of woman, you expected the same thing in your men, which more times than not resulted in failure. Mainly when you desired to date a black man. Sure, there were plenty of white men who had tried their hand at Sheena, but she’d turned them down every time.

  She loved black men and most of everything they had to offer minus the attitude and jobless days. One chance after the next, she’d tried to give them time to get themselves together, but it never worked. They either only had one thing or the other, never a total package. Her side boo, for instance. He had out of this world sex with a good job, and money, but the nigga was horrible looking with a filthy attitude.

  In order to be with him, it had to be behind closed doors because that was really the only way she could tolerate him for longer than ten minutes. That being one of the main reasons she’d been contemplating calling him all night. The other reason made her mad just thinking about it, but she’d question that once he got there. If he came.

  “Bump this, I’m about to call this nigga.” Sheena snatched her phone from her nightstand and dialed his number.

  It rang to the voicemail. Sheena rolled her eyes and exhaled roughly before retrying her call. Voicemail again. Irritated, Sheena decided to text him. Nobody had to tell her that he was awake because she already knew he was.

  Sheena: Why you ignoring my calls?

  Almost five minutes passed before she received a text back.

  Sidepiece: You knew better than to call me

  Sheena: Come through

  Sidepiece: Yeah

  Sheena smiled at her small victory before jumping out of her bed and making sure her room was tidy. Once it was presentable, she ran to the bathroom to freshen up, which didn’t take much since she’d taken a shower less than thirty minutes prior.

  Anytime she left clubs, showering was the first thing on her to-do list. From the smell of smoke to the sticky feeling of sweat, Sheena felt a mess until she cleaned herself from head to toe. The moment she’d walked into her
home, she’d been doing whatever it took to get comfortable, including trying to get her a good one in before going to sleep. So much for that.

  Well, almost. Her doorbell had just rung. Sheena clapped her hands excitedly as she headed up her hallway. Once she got there and opened it, he walked in and headed straight for her room. Sheena’s smile was wiped away immediately. That nigga hadn’t even bothered to look her way, let alone speak. See, that right there was what she was talking about.

  After locking her door, she walked to her room slow enough to give herself some time to gather her feelings. When she finally rounded the corner, He was seated in the small chair in the corner of her room. His long arms rested on his knees as he texted away on his phone. Once again, not bothering to render her any attention.

  “Dang, hey to you too.” Sheena walked into her room, stopping in front of him.

  The short gown she had on barely covered her body, so she was sure he could see exactly where he needed to be that moment, and it wasn’t on that phone.

  “You know I ain’t come over here for that.”

  “Let you tell it, you never come over here for it, but you usually say hey, give me kisses, touch me or something. You walked in here a minute ago like you didn’t even see me.”

  With no words leaving his mouth, Killian sat back in the chair and quickly ran his hand over his head. Something she’d long ago noticed he did anytime he was trying to think about what he was going to say next. His eyes were low and red, almost like he’d been smoking weed, but she was sure that wasn’t it. Killian was a fitness freak. He barely drank, let alone smoked.

  “You want some dick or not?” His monotone verbiage offended her on so many levels, but since she did in fact want… scratch that… need some dick, she would mind her manners until she’d gotten it.

  “Yes.”

  Killian’s hands went to the front of his jeans and unfastened his belt. Once it was open and his pants were zipped down, he stood tall in front of her. Sheena’s focus stayed on him as he stared at her with hate in his eyes. Her stomach flipped from the intensity in his stare. It was so intimidating that it almost took her out of the mood for sex.