She Took My Heart and Went Crazy

by A'zayler

  “His name was Jesse. He cheated a lot, made me feel bad about myself because of it, and literally just broke my heart to no end. I did all I could before I got tired and left. Now, I’m healing, that’s it.”

  “You scared to love again?”

  East stopped chewing and nodded her head without making eye contact.

  “I feel you. I am too.”

  “Why? You had your heart broke too?”

  Killian wanted to tell her but stopped himself again. “Forget all that shit, eat your food.”

  “Not until you tell me. I told you about mine.”

  “Oh well,” Killian smirked and began to eat his food.

  He could see the objection all over her face, but she’d be fine. He’d been nice enough to her. Together, they ate quietly. Once they were done, she scooted further into his bed and rested her head on the pillow.

  “I’m about to shower really quick. I’ll be back.”

  East mumbled something about not taking too long before closing her eyes. The small smile on his face was becoming the norm when she was around, and it was definitely something he could get used to. He smiled the entire time he was in the shower and the entire walk back to his room. He wasn’t sure if she was about to let him slide in again, but he was damn sure about to try.

  Her back was turned to him, and she was snoring lightly as he slid beneath the covers. Killian watched her sleep for a few minutes before deciding he wouldn’t disturb her. What he would do was get him something to snack on real quick. He was a nigga who loved to eat, and as long as East was next to him, he’d dine until he got full.

  Killian opened her thighs and placed them on both of his shoulders. With a hand full of her panties, he pulled them to one side and just inhaled the smell of her feminine essence. It was fucking inebriating. Killian licked his lips when she fidgeted and got down to work. His tongue slithered around her softness until she began to squirm.

  “Killian,” she moaned. “Kill.” His name was breathless.

  High off her taste, Killian lay nestled between her thighs as he filled his stomach. “Be quiet.”

  East’s back arched lightly when she grabbed the back of his head. Killian made her body his with one orgasm after the next until she begged him to stop.

  “Killian.” Her voice was weak as she whimpered his name while reaching behind her to touch his chest.

  Satisfied, Killian continued scooting to the top of the bed with a smile on his face

  “Go to sleep.” A wet kiss was placed to the back of her neck after Killian nestled behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist.

  East nodded, circled her arm around his and drifted away with Killian floating behind her.

  7. Tell Me What It Is

  The calming sounds of the R&B music playing in the background of the room had East feeling at ease as she lay in the middle of the floor doing her yoga. It was a little after ten o’clock at night, and her body was so wound up that she’d gotten out of bed to find a way to ease her stress. Yoga did it for her every time, which was why it had been her go to thing since she’d begun it two months prior.

  She’d initially tried yoga because of her ex-boyfriend Jesse. The two of them had been together on and off since high school and had just broken up for good three months ago. Though they’d cut all ties and went their separate ways, so much of the damage that had been inflicted on East remained. She’d done everything in her power to find a new normal, but it was still hard.

  From working more hours at her horrible job to moving all the way to another state, but still, nothing helped… well, almost nothing. Killian had helped, only to turn it around and make it even worse at the same time. Sex with him had been wanted, but for the wrong reasons. At the point she was at in her break up, East would do anything to get over Jesse. Even if that meant having sex with a complete stranger.

  To be quite honest, it had done more than help. It had evoked feelings. Not love feelings, but strong like feelings, and they were raging like a storm. From the moment Killian had walked in, Jesse had been nowhere to be found, but the moment she’d woken up in the middle of the night and laid eyes on his peaceful face, it had all gone out of the window. Feelings of guilt and shame surfaced within her. Then to add vulnerability and fear into the equation made her a complete train wreck.

  With her eyes roaming from Killian’s face to his sexy body, East caught herself feeling things that she wasn’t supposed to feel for a man that she didn’t know. How crazy was it for her to feel attached and possessive over a man who had rendered her good sex, friendship, arguments… and closeness. It was the closeness that had her questioning her maturity. Only immature women allowed sex to make them fall as hard as she was falling for Killian.

  East leaned forward and lay her forehead on the front of her leg then released a deep breath. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” she whispered to herself.

  Something had to give. She couldn’t carry on like this. Maybe if she’d build up the nerve to block Jesse and practice self-control with Killian, she could carry on like the grown woman that she was. All the constant contact with both men was throwing her too far off kilter. Deleting Jesse from social media would surely be easier than to stop seeing Killian. He was growing on her.

  DING!

  The short sound of a bell ringing alerted her of a new text message. East slowly moved out of her current position and grabbed her phone. She slid her finger over the screen and opened the message from Jaylen.

  SisterCousin: Want to go grab food and bar hop? Or you sleep?

  East: Always down to eat

  SisterCousin:  good! Get dressed! I’ll be ready in ten.

  Versus responding, East stood to her feet and tossed her phone onto the bed. With a new distraction at hand, she went to the closet to grab some clothes. Though it was late, and Jaylen hadn’t mentioned where they were grabbing food from, the bar hopping part was enough to get her going.

  Eating was cool, but partying was something else. She was a single woman, so she needed to look nice, specifically since she was going with Jaylen. Jaylen was a little on the high maintenance side, so East was sure they were hanging out somewhere that required an excessive amount of decency.

  After finding a simple yet sexy outfit, she grabbed a pair of panties and everything she needed for a shower and ran into the bathroom. She’d sweated a little from Yoga and needed to freshen up just a bit. With the shower steaming, East removed her clothes and hopped in. The feel of the water was so refreshing that she temporarily got too relaxed and closed her eyes.

  The moment she did, unwanted thoughts of Jesse surfaced with a vengeance. Imagining him begging another woman to eat her pussy made her want to hurl. East even had to cover her mouth with her hand when she felt herself about to gag. It was crazy how just hearing certain words could make her physically sick.

  She didn’t know what had hurt her the most, hearing the woman tell her what he’d said to her, or thinking about him actually doing it. Both were hard pills to swallow, and every time she thought about it, she felt like it was being shoved down her throat with no water. East swallowed hard and took a deep breath just as the bathroom door opened.

  Her eyes bucked because she’d thought she’d locked it. The presence of another person could be felt as East lathered her washcloth with soap. She smiled to herself as she thought about Jaylen and how close they were. They’d been sharing showers and bathroom visits since childhood, so she didn’t think twice about sticking her head around the curtain.

  “Oh, Lord.” East snatched the curtain closed again. “Umm, Gabrion, could you get out please?”

  Gabrion was in the bathroom fumbling with his belt buckle. She hadn’t seen any parts of his body being that he had been still fumbling with his clothes, but she was still taken aback for a second.

  “Chill, li’l homie, I’ll be done in a minute. Just keep your head in there.” His voice was low and unbothered as he began to use the restroom.

  East could hear his
urine hitting the water as she did her best to ignore the fact that he was in the same bathroom as her, totally invading her personal space. Obviously, he didn’t have any ill intentions toward her, or he probably would have never come in in the first place, so she tried to relax. But to keep herself from hyperventilating from his presence, she began showering as quickly as she could. She needed to get out of there in a hurry before he changed his mind and decided he wanted to sneak a peek. Killian would lose his mind.

  “East?”

  That was Killian’s voice. Was he in there too? Oh hell! Exactly what she hadn’t wanted to happen.

  As if that moment couldn’t get any worse. Gabrion might have respected her privacy, but something in her knew that Killian most definitely would not. She wanted to scream.

  “What’s up?” She tried to sound as calm as possible.

  “Bruh, what the fuck you doing in here pissing while that girl in the shower?”

  “Nigga, I had to piss. I didn’t care about her being in the shower. I’m done now anyway.” Gabrion told Killian with a chuckle. Completely unbothered.

  “You so throwed off.” Killian chuckled as well.

  “If you two are done, can I get back to my shower, please?” East interrupted their casual conversation.

  “My bad, li’l mama. If it makes you feel better, I didn’t see nothing.” Gabrion said as he laughed again.

  Oh my god. East palmed her forehead. These niggas.

  “Gabrion, you a fool. Take your drunk ass on.”

  East stepped beneath the stream of water and did her best to hurry her shower along. She’d heard Onyx mention his other friend, Gabrion, even spoken with him a few times, but he was still somewhat of a stranger, so it didn’t ease all of her discomfort, but she’d live. Especially since she’d just heard the bathroom door close.

  “So, you for everybody, I see.”

  East frowned at Killian’s comment.

  “What did you just say to me?” She stuck her head around the curtain and looked at him. “Because I know like hell, you’re not insinuating what I think you are.”

  Killian was seated on the toilet seat, fully dressed, with his arms resting on the back of it. “You heard me.”

  The casual way in which he relaxed while eyeing her blew East’s mind. His long legs were covered by black jeans while the bright orange and black jersey with the V-cut neck lay sexily against his muscled physique. An array of tattoos decorated the skin left on display by his jersey, and it made East’s mind venture back to her earlier thoughts of liking him, but she immediately pushed them away. Killian was rude with a bipolar attitude. She’d end up murdering him.

  “Fuck you looking at me like that for?” he asked as East’s eyes continued their venture over his appearance.

  Thick veins stuck out in certain places along the muscles of his arms and wrists while gold jewelry decorated his chocolate skin. The calm look on his face contrasted terribly with his rude remarks, but it had been that way since she’d met him. East allowed her eyes to travel from the fresh AirMax on his feet back up to his face.

  He was still looking at her as if waiting for her to render a serious answer to his idiotic and disrespectful question. For a moment, and one moment only, she wanted to tell him how nice the bright orange colored jersey looked against his darkness, but she changed her mind. Fuck him.

  “Get your ass out of here.”

  They stared at each other for a long time, neither of them retreating until Killian looked away, lost his scowl, and ran his hands over the top of his head.

  “Why? You ain’t make him get out?” Killian leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “You don’t even know him.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me, Killian.”

  His face remained stoic as he stared at her from a weird place. He was there, she was looking at him, but his eyes made him appear to be somewhere else mentally. East wasn’t sure what it was about the look he had or where it had come from, but it made her empathize with him. Her defenses softened a little.

  “Killian…”

  “You must like the way that nigga look or something?”

  East’s eyebrows scrunched up a little in the middle as she frowned at him in confusion. “What? Why would you say that?” Droplets of water sprinkled from her shower onto Killian’s arms, drawing East’s eyes back to his body… once again.

  She rolled her eyes, annoyed with her own self. She needed to get a freaking grip, or some dick, because Killian was doing too much to her right then for him not to have been doing nothing at all. In a huff, she pulled the curtain over a little more, making sure to conceal her nude body.

  Killian’s eyes followed her movement before he made eye contact again. “Well, you got him in here while you taking a shower like you know him.”

  East hated the susceptible hesitation in his voice. All bets were off. She felt sorry for him. Fuck me. East sighed.

  “I thought he was Jaylen. When I looked around the curtain and saw that it was Gabrion, I asked him to leave, but I guess he had to pee too bad because he stayed.” East explained herself to Killian as if he were her man. “I don’t think he meant any harm, and I know for a fact I didn’t.”

  Being with Jesse had taught her it was just easier to tell the truth. Once you started with one lie, you had to continue, so even though she wasn’t in anything serious with Killian, she’d wanted the air to be clear. The last thing she needed was to have all of Onyx’s friends thinking they could pass her around. Then, with the way Killian was addressing her, there was no reason not to tell him the truth. He clearly valued the sex they’d had, and the time they spent together at some sort of level for him to even care if his friend was in the bathroom with her while she showered.

  “For real, I’m not like that,” East further explained as she watched him sit in deep contemplation.

  His hand rubbed the bottom of his face while his eyes looked straight ahead. He was no longer looking at her, but she could still feel his uncertainty. She’d hate to have bad thoughts of her in his mind. Especially, after telling her about having his heart broken before.

  “You believe me?”

  Killian’s head leaned to one side as he ran his tattooed hand over the dark waves circling his head for the millionth time. The tattoo on his hand led her eyes to the ones on his arms then up the side of his neck. She’d been drooling over them since the first night she’d ever seen him, but the fluorescent lights of the bathroom exposed them more, making them appear even sexier.

  “Killian,” she called his name softer. “You mad?”

  His head shook, but he still didn’t say anything. Instead, he stood from the toilet and looked at her. Her head being the only thing he could see, he stepped closer to her until they were darn near face to face. His eyes trailed over her face before stopping on her mouth. For a minute, she thought she was going to get a kiss, but it never came. His hand on her chin brought her face closer to his.

  East’s breath caught in her chest as she waited for him to do something. When his eyes lowered, and he bit his bottom lip, East could feel her body awakening. It had been the same way when they’d had sex. Her body reacted to his touch in a way that a master controlled his subject. She was in complete sexual submission to this man and had no idea how it had happened.

  “I didn’t like that.” He finally spoke solemnly.

  East’s chest sank some. “I’m sorry, but it really wasn’t my fault.”

  He nodded once. “It’s cool. You good, you don’t belong to me anyway. I just get a little…” His words trailed off as he looked away for a second. “It doesn’t matter how I get. I just thought maybe you liked the nigga.”

  With her feelings still gaping with an irritating ache from him vocalizing that she didn’t belong to him, East shook her head from side to side anyway to let him know she didn’t like the nigga he was referring to.

  “I mean if you do,” he stalled, “it’s cool. I ain’t tripping or no shit like that.”
Killian’s mouth was saying one thing, but his body language was saying something totally different.

  East could tell he most definitely would care if she did in fact like his friend Gabrion. It was obvious in his movement and tone, but she wouldn’t bust him out. His uneasiness right then was pulling at her heart, and she wouldn’t dare ruin him by acknowledging it aloud. She could recognize easily where his words were coming from; she’d been there before. Insecure with hidden hurt. Thanks to Jesse, she’d mastered that.

  Felt it, wore it, ran from it with everything she had in her, so to see the same thing in Killian tore her to shreds for him. She knew how those type of feelings could have you reacting before thinking. Even more, trying to cover up your wrongful reaction after it has already made a fool of you.

  East released the hold she had on the shower curtain and grabbed his hand. “Who is she?”

  Killian looked confused as he made eye contact with her. “Who is who?”

  East cleared her throat and gave him her best smile. “The girl that broke your heart.” She looked away, then back to him. “I need to find her.” She leaned forward and pecked his juicy lips. “So, I can beat her ass for doing you like that.”

  Killian’s eyes grew brighter as he stood in front of her now exposed body. The curtain had slid back, and she was wide open for his viewing, so he did just that with no shame. His eyes danced from her face down her body, pausing at her breasts and the soaking wet flower he’d become acquainted with on more than one occasion.

  East’s body shivered from the cool air brought in from the open shower curtain.

  “You want me to leave?” he asked hoarsely.

  East’s eyes went to the door. It was locked. She wasn’t surprised.

  “Say no… so I can stay.” Killian stepped closer and ran his hand up the back of her body then gave her bottom a light squeeze. “I got a taste for some pussy.” He leaned forward and kissed the center of her chest before allowing his mouth to slide to her nipples. “Yours,” he whispered with his mouth inches away from her skin.