Burdened Souls: Can Love Save a Burdened Soul? (The Burned Souls Series Book 1)

by Jessi McPherson

  “How long were you a prostitute?”

  “Eight years. Carmen introduced me around a club and then I created a name for myself.”

  “If you don’t need the money why are you bouncing at Jake’s?”

  “Mostly to keep an eye on my investment, but it also helps me build my resume.”

  “What kind of club did you buy?”

  “Well it was the club Carmen introduced me around in,” he said hesitantly, trying to give me a hint.

  “OK.”

  “It’s an adult club,” he finally said.

  “Oh.”

  He nodded.

  “So why a sex club?”

  His eyebrows went up like it was a dumb question. “Well I wanted to have a place people could come and explore their sexuality without judgement. The places Margaret and Carmen had taken me were filthy, they just let anything go. I bought that one because I knew I could turn it around. I have very strict policies.”

  “So what, you’re a prostitute with morals?” I hissed, and instantly regretted it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

  He sat there a moment. “I’ve given it up, Josilyn. I’ll even put the club up for sale tomorrow. I want to be a man worthy of your love and I do truly love you. The moment I pulled you out of the way in the club I felt it. You were the one I knew could save me from the darkness in my soul.”

  “Dillon, I can come to terms with your former profession. My issue now and that night was that you’ve basically told me your life revolves around sex. I’m not sure when or if I’ll be ready for that. I want to move past it but something is keeping me from doing that. How is that fair to you? What if you get tired of waiting? I think that’s why I have been hesitant to call or talk to you. How long before lack of sex become the reason we fight. I am afraid.”

  He pulled my ankles, forcing my knees away from my chest and my feet back to the floor.

  “It revolved around it. Past tense. Now it revolves around you. I will do whatever it takes to prove to you that I am yours. I don’t care how long it takes, but I know we will get there. I can see it in your eyes. Give me a chance to prove it to you.”

  I fought the little voice in my head telling me to run and followed my heart. I knew he was who I wanted. I slid over closer and waited for him to make a move. He quickly pulled me into his lap.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” he whispered.

  “I don’t trust easy. It’ll take time but I want to be with you, Dillon. And you’re right, I feel that I can overcome this with you. I won’t ask you to sell your club. That’s an unfair request. As long as I know you’ve given up the other part, I will try to be OK.”

  “That’s all I ask,” he whispered and kissed my cheek.

  Chapter 11

  We fell into a nice routine after we talked. I tried to open my heart to him again, but it proved to be harder than I thought. After a month, you’d think I’d be more open to his love, but there was still that little part of me that wondered. I was still being taunted by the little voice in the back of my mind. It taunted me with, “I bet he’s with her now,” or, “Maybe he’s found someone else.” Caleb thought I was overreacting—which I knew I was—I just didn’t know how to fix it. We had finally gotten to a place where he could touch me. It helped that he was so tender and gentle, never pushing, and waiting for approval at every turn. On the rare occasion, he couldn’t stay over, I found it difficult to sleep. His strong embrace kept my demons at bay.

  “What are your plans after work tonight?” Dillon asked, handing me a cup of coffee.

  “A nice hot bath and a very inappropriate book,” I said, winking.

  “How about I pick you up and we stay at my house since you don’t have to work tomorrow.”

  “Really,” I said, shocked. I hadn’t seen his house yet. I never asked to go after what happened during masquerade night. It was one of the things that I was concerned about but never said anything. I always wondered if he hid things there.

  “Yes, really. I took the night off so I can pick you up from work.”

  “Um, OK. I’ll pack an overnight bag. Will you take me to work then?”

  He nodded and kissed my forehead. “You sound surprised.”

  I looked down at my cup. “I, um, it’s nothing.”

  He lifted my chin. “Don’t do that. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  I shook my head. “It’s stupid. I just thought you didn’t want me there. Like I said, it’s stupid. Just one of those things.”

  He wrapped those solid arms that I loved around me and held me. “I have nothing to hide from you, my house just finished being remodeled. I told you I was working on it.” He kissed my forehead. “I had to make some changes that I want to show you. It’s done, so I thought tonight would be perfect.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “Love, I don’t expect you to forgive me overnight. I know I must rebuild that trust. Hopefully tonight, I will.”

  “OK.” I lifted my chin and kissed his tender lips.

  “Mmm. I could kiss you all day, but I have two classes this morning. Would you care to join me?”

  I laughed. “Oh no, I have seen your evil ways. I think I’ll stick to running.”

  “Oh, come on, I always play nice with new students.”

  “Nope. I like you. I’d hate to hate you for working me over.” I giggled.

  He finished tying his shoes. “One day baby, I plan to work you over good.” He patted my butt and kissed my cheek before he left.

  ***

  Work was slow, but thankfully Dillon and Cameron were keeping me entertained with funny texts. Dillon had come to terms with the fact that Cameron would be my friend.

  I texted Cameron

  “Did you get the tickets?”

  “Of course, it’s my movie. Is it still a surprise?”

  “Yes. It’s his birthday present. It’s one of your movies I think he wants to see.”

  “Well I’m glad to help. Plus, I get to see you in a ravishing dress. Is Caleb going shopping with us Monday?”

  “Yeah, he’s excited. I still have to tell Dillon I will be gone all day. I’m going to stay at his house tonight.”

  “Whoa, that’s big. You haven’t been there yet right?”

  “Nope. Well getting a few tables. Ill text to tomorrow later CJ.”

  “Later dear.”

  I begged Cameron for tickets to his movie premiere. His new movie was gearing up to be a box office smash. Dillon’s birthday was next Saturday, and this was the only thing I could think of. Finding out your boyfriend has more money than he knows what to do with was a little daunting at first, but then I slowly realized he didn’t let that change him. Plus, he knew I had some money as well. It allowed him to be involved with a lot of community activities, and the workout class he teaches is super cheap for anyone to try. I lucked out with this guy, and yet I was still questioning his love for me.

  Dillon was quiet on the drive to his house. Even when I tried to spark up a conversation, he found ways to end it quick. He was nervous and that worried me. Just as we rounded a corner, my heart skipped. The driveway to his house was lit with candles. I couldn’t speak as we pulled up to a beautiful, plantation-style home. Candles and flowers lined the porch and entryway.

  “This is your house?” I asked as he helped me out of the car.

  He just nodded.

  I took in the whole view and it took my breath away. The moon shone brightly in the sky and the shadows from the candlelight danced around. He clasped my hand gently and led me inside.

  “I’ve been restoring it since I moved here, but just recently got up the gumption to finish it.”

  I stopped and marveled at the view that had even the littlest details standing out.

  “This is beautiful,” I exclaimed, running my hand along the wooden banister.

  Two beautifully decorated staircases lead to the second floor and a large set of French doors stood op
posite me opening to the outside, but we didn’t walk over there. I looked over finally noticing he was looking at me and nothing else.

  “Only slightly, compared to you in the room,” he said, kissing my palm.

  My cheeks flush and I felt my chest tighten. We walked slowly room to room downstairs as he explained what he had done.

  “This is the kitchen,” he said, looking at me to gauge my reaction.

  We walked through the doorway to the most amazing space I’d ever seen. It was a cook’s dream with counter space and cabinets galore. A large island held a gas stove top with a beautiful hand-carved sitting area on the opposite side. The dark cherrywood smelled amazing, and the glistening white counter tops complimented it perfectly. Dillon hadn’t moved from the doorway as I walked along, admiring every detail. Finally, he spoke moving to the French door to my left.

  “This I think you’ll like.”

  I walked over and opened the doors to the most beautifully lit garden spaces. I few perfectly placed weeping willows that cast the perfect backdrop. The stone path was lined with pillar candles, but the best part was a hanging bed under a canopy surrounded by a tranquil pond.

  “Dillon, this is beautiful,” I said, slowly wiping a tear away.

  “Why are you crying?” he asked, pulling me close.

  “It’s just so beautiful.” He laughed. “Come on the tour’s not over.”

  He showed me the six other bedrooms, all with their own private baths, before heading into the master. “This is my pride and joy,” he said, slowly opening the door.

  “Oh, I bet,” I joked.

  I walked in and gasped. Red and white rose petals covered a huge, king-size, four-post bed and candlelight danced along the walls. I walked around taking in the beauty and slowly began to panic. His arms were around me before my heart started racing.

  “It’s not what you think. Don’t panic. I just wanted it as beautiful as you are. Breathe, love.”

  I took a slow breath. He held me in his arms as he walked us into the master bath.

  “This is my most favorite place.”

  A huge, two-person, porcelain tub sat in the middle of the floor. Candles and flowers covered every surface in here as well. The aroma awakened my heart. I watched as he walked over to another set of French doors and opened them. It was a perfect view of the top of the garden.

  “In the mornings, the sun shines perfectly between those trees.” He pulled me into his arms and we sat there and took in the perfect evening. I didn’t think it could get any better. “What do you think?” he whispered as he squeezed me tighter.

  “I think it’s the most beautiful house I’ve ever been in. Thank you for bringing me here.”

  He released me as I walked to the balcony to look out over the yard. It was truly breathtaking.

  “Maybe we can stay here on my days off,” I said, turning around and noticing him looking upset. “What’s wrong?” I asked, moving closer.

  “Do you really like it?” he asked.

  “Dillon. It really is the most beautiful house I’ve ever seen.”

  “Really?” he asked, taking my hands. “Because I think it’s missing something. It doesn’t feel complete. I’ve been wracking my brain these last couple of weeks trying to figure it out. I couldn’t come up with the right thing.”

  “Dillon trust me, it’s perfect. You’d couldn’t do anything to make it any more perfect,” I assured him.

  “You’re right I can’t,” he said as he slowly got down on one knee. “But you can.”

  I couldn’t breathe or speak.

  “Josilyn, I have loved you from the moment I met you. You have brought light back into my life. I am not a perfect man but with you I promise to be a man worthy of your love. I promise to show you every day how much your love means to me and I promise to be a beacon of light and love in your life as you are in mine. It may seem sudden, but I know there will be no one else. You are the only one I trust with my heart and no matter what you say that will never change. Will you complete this home, hold my heart, and be my wife?”

  I still couldn’t breathe as I stood there staring into the eyes of the man I knew I loved. The man who just put his heart out there and offered it to me on a plate. He had bared his soul, and asked me to keep it safe. I knew I hadn’t given him all my trust but I knew I could give him my heart. I could only nod my answer as tears trickled down my face. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he picked me up and spun me around.

  “I promise to be a man worthy of your love,” he whispered, kissing me softly.

  “Oh Dillon, you already are.” I smiled as he sat me down.

  “Shall we go to bed?”

  “How about a hot bath first?” I suggested.

  “Certainly. Your wish, my command, love.”

  The sensual aroma and hot water soothed my overwhelmed emotions. He sat beside me on the floor, gently caressing my skin with slow, steady movements. I had gotten used to this sensual touch but I longed to try more.

  “Will you join me?” I asked, my breathing ragged as fear slowly rose inside me.

  “Only if you truly want me to,” he said, reading the fear in me.

  “I need you,” I begged.

  I couldn’t avert my eyes as he slowly undressed. The beauty he hid beneath his clothes was magical. The scars he wore like badges of honor to attest to the trails he suffered in his life. His eyes we weary as he slowly entered the water behind me. I slid back and laid there in his arms feeling completely exposed and vulnerable, but thankful once again that he understood my fears. We were both quite afraid to speak and break the spell of peace.

  My heart raced but not out of fear. I wanted desperately to be ready to let him in further. I had decided that before we got here, and a proposal like that deserved for me to at least try. With my hand over his I moved them over my body. He didn’t speak as I slowed over my breast. I could sense his hesitation and I knew he felt me holding my breath. Slowly, I moved my hands away and pushed my breast into his awaiting hands. He sat a moment to allow my nerves to calm, then his strong hands slowly moved teasing my already hard nipple. My breathing increased from both the pleasure and the panic.

  “We don’t have to do this,” he whispered into the crook of my neck.

  “I’m OK. I want to try.”

  That was all the assurance he needed. He cupped my breast and held them firm.

  “Just tell me if it’s too much.”

  I nodded and closed my eyes. His hand slowly worked down my arms and back up. Gentle, feather-like kisses graced my neck as his hands slid across my stomach. My heart raced as he skimmed past my sex and over my thighs. I tried to slow my breathing as he blazed a new trail across my body. He slowly slid his hands back to my folds and paused.

  We’ve never gone this far. I think we were both nervous, but he slowly stroked a finger up one side and down the other. A low, guttural groan escaped my lips as the fire burned deep inside. He slid one finger carefully inside me and I began to tense. He froze as my breathing increased.

  “You are so beautiful,” he whispered, kissing my neck once again, “I am still waiting to wake up from this dream. You are perfect.”

  Before I realized what was going on, I felt a familiar burn deep inside boiling up. He had started slowly pulsing inside me, and his distraction had worked. My heart raced for another reason. His other hand was teasing my nipple as my fire rose. I couldn’t recognize my own voice as an orgasm ripped thru me. He continued to move inside me creating a wave of pleasure that rolled on. As he slowed and it subsided, I laid there surrounded in the pleasure he had created and the security of his arms.

  “I’ve been waiting a while to feel that,” he whispered, sliding out from behind me.

  I wasn’t ready to move just yet, but my body was heavy with exhaustion and the aftermath of my orgasm. I was also trying to hold back a tear because despite how amazing I felt, the fear was still there. It was some irrational feeling that I was betraying Wade.

&n
bsp; He held out a towel and I slowly rose. I began to speak, but he placed a finger over my lips.

  “Just enjoy it.” He picked me up and laid me on the bed.

  “I was going to say that was amazing. This whole night has been amazing.”

  “It’s only going to get better, baby,” he said, snuggling in behind me. “It’s only going to get better. I know you are still scared and I promise to do whatever I takes to fix whatever it was he did to you.”

  Chapter 12

  Dillon’s proposal was beautiful, but the ring he gave me was amazing. It was a perfect heart diamond with sapphire stones in a platinum band. I laid there in bed with the man of my dreams, staring at it and him. I decided to brag and grabbed my phone. I snapped a picture of it and sent it to Caleb.

  “I believe you’re losing a roommate soon.”

  “OMG is that what I think? OMG I hope you said yes.”

  “No, I’m just trying it on. You know window shopping. Of course, I said yes.”

  “I am so happy for you. What time are you coming home? I want to see it in person.”

  “Don’t know. I’ll text later.”

  I also texted Cameron.

  “Well I don’t think the tickets can top this.”

  “Whoa sweetie. That’s huge. Congrats.”

  “I can’t wait for tomorrow. See ya then.”

  “Why are you meeting Cameron tomorrow?” Dillon asked, pulling me close.

  “It’s a surprise. For your birthday,” I said with a smirk. “You’ll have to wait for Saturday to find out. And in case you’re wondering, I took care of all the details, so nah.”