Burdened Souls: Can Love Save a Burdened Soul? (The Burned Souls Series Book 1)

by Jessi McPherson

  “I already got what I wished for, but if it’s you naked in our bed all day I’ll take it.”

  My smile grew when he said, our bed. I curled up closer.

  “You are my wish come true too, Dillon. And that does sound tempting, but nope. It took me forever to figure out what to get you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you don’t really need anything and you seem like the type to buy what you want when you want it.”

  “Very true, well then I guess Saturday better hurry up.” He kissed my ear and we continued to lay there.

  It was later in the afternoon when we finally decided to get up and eat something. Lying in bed, talking and enjoying each other’s company, made for a perfect morning that had followed a perfect night. I was excited to get into his kitchen. I loved the open space and room to move around. While he was in the shower, I headed down to get lunch started. He laughed as he walked in and saw me dancing around with a whisk in my hands.

  “I’m a lucky son of a bitch,” he said, grabbing my waist.

  “Why is that?”

  “Because I get to spend the rest of my life staring at the most beautiful woman in the world, and she can cook.”

  “Yeah you are pretty darn lucky.”

  ***

  “Girl, I swear I did not know a thing,” Caleb said, handing me a glass of wine. “I’m kind of sad I wasn’t in on it.”

  “Well it was perfect.”

  Caleb had been waiting all day for me to get home and spill the beans.

  “I am so happy for you. So have you set a date?”

  “Caleb, we just got engaged,” I groaned. “Give me a bit to process that.”

  He laughed as we snuggled onto the couch. “Where is Lover Boy, anyways?”

  “He had to handle some paperwork at his place and said he’d be over later.”

  “I still can’t see him in a sex club. He just doesn’t seem the type.”

  I had told Caleb everything Dillon had told me. Dillon didn’t mind, and it gave me someone else to talk.

  “Oh, please. Anyone can be that type. Obviously.”

  “So are you ever going to go see it?”

  “I don’t know. I’m not sure he wants me to. What if that brings other things up? Also, what if he brought clients there?”

  “OK, breathe sweetie. You are overthinking it. He just owns the place, and doesn’t seem like the type to mix business with pleasure.”

  “Caleb, that is the one place it would be OK.”

  “I don’t see that. How about I go check it out and report back.”

  “Really? Nice try. If you want to go check it out, go, but don’t pretend it’s for my benefit.”

  “I didn’t even know we had those types of places in NOLA. And I know a lot of the underground scene.”

  My phone buzzed, thankfully interrupting our conversation.

  “Hey Love gonna be late. Had a mishap to take care of. I’m still coming over but you don’t have to wait up.”

  “Ok hope everything is ok. Love you.”

  “It will be once I’m curled up next to my future wife.”

  “Well tell her to get in line J/K.”

  “Well, it’s just us tonight. Duty calls. I guess something happened.” I told Caleb

  We cracked open another bottle of wine and put in another movie.

  ***

  It was almost 3 a.m. when Dillon finally got home. I tried sleeping, but every time I closed my eyes, my nightmare began.

  “Hope everything turned out OK,” I said, startling him.

  “Love, why are you still awake?” he whispered as he slid into bed.

  “Couldn’t sleep. Needed my dream catcher.”

  “Well I’m here now. Get some sleep.”

  He rolled me over for a kiss and I began to run my fingers thru his hair.

  “You showered?” I asked. I pulled back and was instantly suspicious.

  “I had to,” he said looking down at me. That’s when I noticed the smell of smoke.

  “What happened, Dillon?

  He huffed. “We had a small fire in one of the rooms in the club.”

  “Oh my god, is everyone OK?”

  “Yes, everyone is fine. The club will be closed for a while. Luckily, I upgraded the fire prevention system and it was the only room damaged. I didn’t want to worry you with a text.”

  “I’m sorry about your club, and glad everyone’s OK.”

  “Don’t be upset. Everyone’s fine. It’s a minor inconvenience.”

  I felt ashamed that my first thought was that he was hiding something from me.

  “Hey, it’s OK.”

  “I know. I thought you were hiding something. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I thought that.”

  He sat up in bed. “Josilyn, I just asked you to be my wife. I know you’re still apprehensive, but I am not the cheating type. I know my previous lifestyle may seem otherwise, but I can’t explain it well. I know I still must earn your trust but I hope that will help. What time are your plans for tomorrow?

  “Cameron, Caleb, and I are going to lunch. Why?”

  “Nothing important. Now get some sleep.”

  I didn’t argue or ask more questions, even though I wanted to. I was embarrassed I even assumed he could cheat. I laid there listening to his heartbeat and feeling the rise and fall of his chest.

  He woke me up the next morning with breakfast, and said we were going for a drive. We pulled up to a house tucked away down a path lined with trees.

  “Where are we?” I asked, taking his hand.

  He didn’t say anything as we walked up the staircase. There was a bronze plaque on the door that said Members Only. I started to breathe heavy as realization crashed down on me.

  “Breathe, baby. It’s closed, remember? The only other person here is Jennifer.”

  He opened to front door to a beautiful parlor area. The smell of rich leather and wood. I expected sex and sweat, to be honest. The room was well lit by a skylight above as there were no windows to be seen from here. A beautiful blonde not much older than me sat behind a desk looking between us.

  “Good morning, Mr. Shade. I wasn’t expecting you back today, sir.” Her eyes lingered a little long but she quickly averted them toward the floor when she noticed I was looking at her.

  “Jennifer, this is my fiancé, Josilyn Michaels. Josilyn, this is my assistant Jennifer. I am not in the office today so please do not disturb us.” He was quick and to the point.

  “Yes sir.”

  I recognized the tone and it made me wonder about their relationship.

  He held my hand tight as he led us upstairs. There was only one door at the top which he quickly opened.

  “This is my office,” he said, motioning for me to go in.

  It was huge. One wall held a panel of televisions but the rest of the room was cozy. Masculine, but cozy. There was a rich wood smell that permeated the room along with the dark red furnishings. I looked around finally seeing another door.

  “What’s back there?”

  He smiled. “It’s a bedroom. My bedroom. And a bathroom.”

  “Oh.”

  He opened the door. “There have been a few times I was here working late and ended up staying. I have never brought a woman here.”

  I smiled. “Oh.”

  It was small but roomy, and looked like a typical bedroom.

  “So have you slept with Jennifer?” I asked, walking back into the main room of his office.

  “No,” he said quickly, coming to stand in front of me. “I have never slept with any of my staff members. I also I have never had sex with any current members. I kept my other work separate. To clarify, Carmen was the only client I had brought here and she is no longer a member here.”

  “I see.” I was trying to take it all in and understand him better. He was showing me his life, but I felt a bit overwhelmed by it.

  “Please say something, love.”

  I was trying to bury the questions that hung
around my lips. He doesn’t know that part of me yet, and I wasn’t sure he’d understand.

  “Sex is a big part of your life.”

  He pulled me into his arms. “Yes, sex was a big part of my life for a very long time, but that’s all it ever was. I love you, Josilyn. I have faith we will be able to have sex, but if not I don’t care. I want to be with you and only you. I will take you any way I can get you. Please trust that I would never betray you in that way. I promise to be open and honest if I feel the slightest bit of frustration. Can you trust me please?”

  I felt the tears before I could stop them. He was giving me so much more than I was giving him. I finally shattered the last bit of the wall that was holding me back. I wanted to marry him and knew he would be the one to bring me back to life. His tender kisses traced a line across my face to my neck. I may not be ready to give him all of me today, but we will work on it slowly and I will get there before the wedding and until then I can definitely enjoy his touch.

  “So why all the televisions?”

  “I have a top of the line surveillance system, and I monitor all the activity. It’s one of the ways we keep things confidential and protect our clients.”

  “So you watch people have sex?”

  “No love.” He laughed. “The monitors are mostly off in here. They constantly record. The main saloon, bar, and parlor are always on. All our clients know that they are being recorded. It helps keep them in line with our rules and regulations, and covers us in case of a lawsuit. I won’t lie, I have watched scenes play out but only when there was already a group watching.”

  “So what kinds of things do you offer?”

  “Well, basically anything. We have a very diverse clientele. A client merely has to ask and we try to find someone with matching interests.”

  “I see, so what do you like?”

  He looked at me. “Do you really want to get into that, love?”

  “If we are being honest, I’d really like to know everything about the man I’m planning on marrying.”

  He moved us to a comfy sofa near his desk and held me. He slid a finger down my arm, leaving a scorched trail that continued on its own down to my hand.

  “I am a dominate man, love. Except with you. You seem to bring out a softer side I didn’t know was in there. There isn’t much I haven’t done in my line of work. Previous line of work,” he corrected, “I’ve found it easy to read a woman’s desires even if she doesn’t know them herself. I have never, and never plan to, be with a man. That includes threesomes.”

  “That’ll break Caleb’s heart. Why haven’t you? I’m sure you had clients that wanted to,” I joked. He lightened up.

  “I don’t like to relinquish control and do not like to share. Want to know something funny?”

  “Sure.”

  “You have been the objection of all my desire since meeting you,” he said, kissing my neck. “It’s like you invaded every cell within me. I feel you when your near, and when you’re not, I crave being close to you. You even invade my dreams.”

  “Oh really?” I teased. “What kind of dreams?” I asked, running my thumb over his palm. I looked back and I could see the desire and passion in his eyes.

  “Mmm, this probably not the best time. It’s hard enough to resist you when we are home.”

  “Really? So this must drive you crazy.” I continued turning my thumb in circles.

  He leaned in closer. “Just looking at you drives me crazy.”

  “So tell me,” I said. “Tell me want you want to do. Tell me and help me break down these walls.”

  He kissed my earlobe. “Not here,” he whispered. “If things get heavy I’d rather be home where you feel safe.”

  I huffed. “Fine.”

  “Oh, is someone pouting?” he joked.

  “Yes. This place and being here with you, it does something. I feel safe with you no matter where we are.”

  “I know love, but I’d rather be home where I can explore every inch of your body without interruptions.”

  “So tell me what else you are into,” I asked, still trying to get him to give in to me. He had no idea what this place did to me, and the feelings it made surface. The way he was the master of this domain was more than obvious and it turned me on.

  He laughed and started to get up. “Let’s get you home before you drain all my willpower.” It wouldn’t be long before he knew my secrets, but I wasn’t sure that he’d like them.

  ***

  “So how far did you go?” Caleb asked, picking up another dress.

  “Really Caleb?”

  “Yes, really.”

  “It was nice. He didn’t push the boundaries but I almost did, if I’m being honest. Just listening to all the things he wanted to do to me drove me to the brink. He had me basically begging him and then bam, cold shower,” I said. When we got back home, I had convinced Dillon I wanted to stay in bed till the guys picked me up. He spent the rest of the morning kissing my entire body and telling me all the things he planned to do to me one day. At one point, I begged him to take me right then. He laughed.

  “Wow, he’s probably got blue balls so bad he can’t walk. I couldn’t imagine that.”

  “Do you think so?”

  “Girl, I wouldn’t be surprised if that man doesn’t walk around in a constant state of blue balls with you.”

  “Oh please, he probably just whacks off like any normal man.”

  Cameron looked over at me and Caleb laughed.

  “So where are we going tomorrow?” I asked and took a sip of my coffee.

  “I have a local friend that has a shop I thought we’d check out,” Cameron suggested.

  “Sounds good to me,” Caleb and I both said.

  “That is perfect. I love that shade on you,” Cameron said, twirling me around.

  “You think he’ll like it?” I asked while looking at myself in the mirror.

  “I think Dillon better find him some loose dress pants cause he’s going to have a boner all night. I know I am,” Cameron said.

  I smacked his arm.

  “I’m kind of jealous I can’t go,” Caleb said as he looked me over. “Have you talked about a date yet?”

  “Actually, I’ve been thinking about it. Think we can pull this together in a few months?”

  “Really? I think we can do just about anything you want, with enough money,” he said, smiling.

  “Well it’s a good thing I have such a thing,” Cameron said.

  “Cameron, you are not paying for my wedding. I have plenty of money.”

  “At least let me help a little. I know a few people that can help you with the details,” he said.

  “Fine, but I don’t want anything big. Quiet… Private…” I had a thought. “How about we go away? Nice, quiet, beachfront wedding.”

  “Whatever you want and whenever, sweetie. You just let us know.”

  We spent the afternoon hashing out some details. Cameron apparently knows a very talented up and coming dress designer. He told me he’d have her get in touch with me by the end of the week. It felt weird and comforting that my best friend and former-crush-turned-friend were helping me plan my wedding.

  Chapter 13

  We split our time between Dillon’s house and mine the rest of the week. I got to explore the house entirely, and started to decorate a few spare rooms. His club kept him busy with contractors and the police. Luckily, he had video footage of what happened. The fire marshal had deemed it an accident based on the footage, and Dillon’s insurance was going to cover it. He said the clients who were involved had also offered to pay for it. I was relieved to know it was an accident and not arson. That was in the back of my mind, given his background.

  I had butterflies in my stomach Saturday morning when I woke up. I had decided tonight would be the night. I was going to try. I got up early and made him breakfast, laid out some clothes, and put our bags by the door.

  “Something smells amazing,” he said, coming around the corner into the k
itchen, “Oh, wow.”

  “Happy birthday!” I yelled and jumped into his arms.

  “Thank you.”

  “Oh no. I didn’t break you, did I old man?”

  He laughed and put me down. “Twenty-nine is hardly old. So what do you have planned today?”

  “Well, first we eat breakfast then we are getting on a plane,” I said, sitting down at the breakfast island.

  “Where, pray tell, is this plane taking us?”

  I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. “Los Angles. Tonight is the premiere for Cameron’s’ new movie and I asked him if he could get us in, and he did. I have a dress and Caleb picked out a tux. We are spending the day at the beach, then going to that.”

  “Well now, looks like you have everything hashed out.”

  “You don’t sound happy.”

  He smirked. “I couldn’t be happier. I get to see you in a bikini and then in a—I can only assume—ravishing dress. Sounds like a perfect birthday to me.”

  If only he knew what else I had planned.

  We boarded the plane and I couldn’t help but feel excited. The stewardess handed us both a glass of champagne.

  “Cheers to a wonderful birthday with an amazing woman,” Dillon said, kissing my hand.

  “Thank you.”

  His thumb traced slow circles on my palm the whole plane ride. I’ve come to find that he does that to calm not only me, but him as well.

  “Why do you seem nervous?” I asked, looking over at him.

  “I’m not, I’m excited.”

  I wondered if he knew I had a hidden agenda tonight.

  ***

  The water was a bit chilly, but the sun felt nice against my skin as we laid on the private beach. Cameron had come through for me and I knew I was going to owe him big.

  “Why do you look so deep in thought?” Dillon asked, rolling over to face me.

  “Not deep in thought,” I explain. “Just thinking I’m going to owe Cameron big for coming through for me. I really had no idea what to get you.”

  “Love, I would have been happy just being with you. You already gave me the best present ever, just by saying yes.”

  “Well we could just go home I guess,” I joked.

  He quickly pulled me into his lap. “Nope. I’m excited to see this dress of yours,” he said kissing me softly.