When It All Goes Still

by Allison Mullinax

  “Son of a—” Johanna begins. “Max is here.” She throws the Jeep into park. “He just won’t take a hint.” She hops out, angrily slamming the door.

  “Whoa. A hint about what exactly?” My hand subconsciously balls into a fist, and I run to catch up with her.

  “He came into my room earlier today—” Before she can finish her sentence I’m already making my way toward the house to find him.

  “Wait a second. I handled it,” she shouts, placing her hand on my chest to stop me. “He tried to kiss me. He did kiss me, but it wasn’t reciprocated. I slapped him.” Her eyes shift nervously toward the house.

  “Then he has no business here. He knows Andrew and MB are gone.” I notice my voice is almost a growl.

  “I agree. Let’s find out what he wants.” She wraps her fingers into mine, and we step onto the porch.

  Through the front screen door, I spot him sitting on the bottom of the wooden steps, uninvited. He hears our footsteps and abruptly stands. As soon as he places me beside her, I can tell he was hoping to catch her alone. I instantly want to punch his face in.

  “Jo, I uhhh, wanted to see if you needed any help getting things cleaned up. I loaded up all the lights and tables.” He looks between the two of us and extends his hand. “I’m Max Austin.” I stare at his outstretched hand long enough that he understands I don’t want to shake it. Right before he pulls it back in, I grasp his hand and send a jolt of particles searing through his palm. He jerks it back quickly, trying to shake the tingling from his fingertips. I only stare at him, daring him to act like it hurt.

  “I have the rest of the cleaning handled.” Johanna’s lips grow tight, trying to hide a laugh at his expense. “Mary-Beth is at the hospital. I know it’s late, but it would probably mean something to her if Katie went by. Maybe you should go let your fiancée know that.”

  “She was tired. She said she would go tomorrow,” he admits, almost ashamed.

  “Right. Traveler and I are fine here. I don’t need you,” she says, and he winces as if she’s slapped him across the face all over again. He looks confused, like he can’t believe she would choose another soul over him. It dawns on me now why he tried to make a move on her earlier today. Some people only want the thing they left behind when someone else comes along and picks it up off the ground.

  “Think about this, Jo.” He looks her directly in the face. “It’s not too late.”

  “You don’t know me well enough to take chances like that.” I give him a warning. He cuts his eyes to me, and the only reason I haven’t physically thrown him off her porch is out of respect for Johanna. She deserves to say what she needs to say to him, and I won’t take that moment from her.

  Max shakes his head in disbelief and gives a sarcastic laugh. He reaches out and takes her hand and pulls it to his mouth, placing a chaste kiss on her skin. I can see Johanna trying to jerk her hand back, but he doesn’t release her quick enough for my liking. Grabbing him by his shirt collar, I slam him against the wall. His eyes are wild, and he looks confused. I can tell this is a guy who has never been put in his place before.

  He glances at Johanna while I have him pinned. “Is this the kind of people you’ve been hanging around with these days? Explains a lot,” he spits, trying to wiggle free from my grip. He’s tall, but he isn’t strong.

  “It’s okay, Traveler. Let him go.” Her tone is calm and unaffected. I instantly drop him and walk backward to stand beside her. For good measure, I put my arm around her shoulders and stare at him. Daring him to make another step in the wrong direction.

  “Johanna is no longer your concern. From what I’ve heard, I’m not sure you ever really were that concerned about her, to begin with. You might want to get home to your fiancée now.”

  He picks himself up off the floor and slams the front door so hard, a vase sitting on the edge of the entryway table crashes to the floor. I start to take off after him, but Johanna grabs my hand and pulls me back to her. “Let him go, he really isn’t worth it.”

  “No, but you are.” I’m ready to make a move on that asshole as soon as she gives the word.

  She tugs me into the kitchen. “Let’s have a beer and just breathe for a minute.” She snags two bottles from a cooler on the floor. “We have a lot to clean up tonight and I’m exhausted, we owe it to ourselves to relax for a minute.” Her eyes survey the kitchen. “Actually, it looks like Max did most of it.” She peeps through the back door, then opens the fridge. “He even put the extra food in here. He either feels really guilty about the show he put on earlier, or he’s trying to keep me quiet about what he did in my room.” She rolls her eyes and closes the refrigerator door.

  I sit down in the chair closest to the kitchen table, thinking that a beer and this beautiful woman is the perfect way to relax. When she hands me my drink, I wrap my arms around her back, pulling her into my lap. Her legs are on either side of me, and her dress is creeping up high on her thighs. I place my drink of the floor, craving a different kind of buzz. My fingers wrap around her hips as I take her mouth with mine. My hands smooth over her ribs, and I draw her body in closer, kissing her throat and tucking her hair back. Her hands slide up the back of my shirt and the sounds that are coming out of her mouth are driving me insane. My adrenaline is already pumping through my veins from earlier, and I’m afraid if I don’t stay focused, I may lose control and shift with her again.

  I gently pull her face back from mine, both of our chests rapidly rising and falling. “Baby, I’m afraid I’ll lose control,” I admit, leaning my forehead against hers.

  “Isn’t that the point.” She smiles, her eyes still closed. She’s quiet for a moment. “Just try,” she tempts me, and it causes my breath to catch.

  I look into her eyes that are pleading for me, and I can’t deny her. Standing from the chair, picking her up with me, I take her across the kitchen. I’m terrified of what might happen, but I’m more terrified of living a life without having touched every inch of her. I need her. She’s kissing up my neck as I climb the steps to her room, and I’m already losing myself. Except I’m losing myself in her, and if it happens to kill me, then it will all be worth it.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Johanna

  The sun is barely creeping in through my window, and I can see my alarm clock on the other side of the bed: six forty-five a.m. My body feels sated and relaxed, and my hair is falling over his chest. His skin is warm underneath my cheek, and I can hear the rhythmic beating of his heart. His strong arm is lazily slung across my shoulder, much like the way my legs are draped over his. His fingertips are touching the sensitive skin of my bare hip. I nuzzle into his chest. It wasn’t a dream. The only way to describe what happened in this room last night is supernatural. If there never was a thing such as star-crossed lovers before, I know it exists now.

  “Baby?” he whispers, seeing if I’m awake. His fingers trace up my side and down to my hip again. My mind automatically replays the sensations of the places his hands discovered on my body last night. Heat instantly rushes to my thighs.

  “Mmm,” is the only response I can summon from my lips.

  “We need to get going soon.” His hand wanders farther. He smooths it over my stomach, then pulls me gently away from him and onto my back. He moves on top of me, placing his hands underneath my head. His thumbs are massaging behind my ears as he leaves feather-light kisses along my collarbone. Another pleasure filled “Mmm” escapes from me.

  “Is that all you can say this morning?” He smiles, moving lower down my body. He bites gently at my side, and then runs his tongue over where his teeth just were, sending chills skating across my skin. My hands instinctively work their way into his hair. His arms glide down my back as he continues on. Traveler’s hands grab firmly around my waist, and he holds me in place as he begins kissing my hips and my thighs. He dips his tongue into my navel, making my breath catch. His lips brush my pelvic bones, and his tongue dampens my skin. He blows cool air from his lips, making me shudder. He
’s going painfully slow, and the ache my body has for him is building. And finally, his mouth finds the place I’ve been longing for him to be. While his skillful tongue induces me to grip the bedsheets, he slowly runs his hand down my thigh to the back of my knee. He pulls my leg up and places it on his shoulder, then smooths his hand back down until his fingers find themselves working their way inside of me, his mouth still causing me to tremble. I can feel the waves of pleasure starting to course through my body. My breath is quickening and right before I’m sent over the edge, he moves up to face me. My eyes are barely able to stay open.

  “Look at me,” he commands as he slowly slides himself into me. His jaw muscles clench, and I can see the battle going on behind his eyes. He’s lost in between maintaining control and losing it with me. Last night he fought so hard to keep his mind focused, and to keep us here in this century. But this morning, I can see the turmoil building. Something is different.

  “Traveler—please,” I beg him to stay here with me as he picks up the pace. I grip his chin and jaw with my hand, “stay with me.” I crave the sounds coming from his throat as much as I crave the way he fits so perfectly inside of me. Our eyes are completely locked onto one another.

  “Johanna,” he whispers as my hips rise to meet him, our bodies are moving in synch. He reaches for my hands, pulling them up behind my head. Our fingers are intertwined, and he anchors them to the bed with his strength. His face is so close to mine, and he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth while he pushes deeper. His name leaves my mouth, and his eyes are searching mine. He slows his thrusts and gazes at me with a conflicted expression. And with a flash of resolve, he looks back and forth between my eyes. “I love you,” he says. My breath catches, and my back arches as I’m entirely lost in his words and the feeling of him so deep inside of me. The waves of passion roll through my body as we both find oblivion. A low growl escapes his throat and my fingernails dig into his shoulder blades. His entire body is shaking. There is something about knowing I did that to him. That I make him feel that way. And it is the most satisfying feeling I’ve ever felt.

  He lowers himself onto me, keeping most of his weight in his arms on either side of me. He kisses the tops of my shoulders in between heavy breaths, and my eyes are finally able to unclench themselves. We look at each other, breathing heavily, my hands hooked around his strong arms. “I love you, too,” I whisper back to him.

  He touches his forehead to mine and kisses the end of my nose before laying down beside me. He pulls me close to him, his head resting on top of mine. “We will figure this all out. Somehow.”

  I don’t know if it’s possible, and I don’t know how. But the only thing I can say in this moment is “Okay.”

  We allow ourselves a few minutes of bliss, lying beside one another before I break. “You’re right, Traveler, we do need to get going if we have to make it there by this afternoon.” I wrap the sheet around me and sit up. He runs his hand down my back.

  “I meant what I said. I love you, Johanna.”

  I turn back, looking at him. “Please don’t ever forget that you do. Because I love you. And it’s terrifying,” I confess. He’s beside me in an instant, his hands are on either side of my face.

  “Never,” he promises, with so much conviction that I couldn’t possibly deny his honesty. Everything he feels is ingrained into my heart and mirrored back to him. He kisses me passionately, and I feel myself melting back into the bed seconds before there is a loud rapping on the front door. The banging echoes through the house, and it causes me to jump.

  “Who would be here?” I scramble out of the bed and pull the covers around my body. Walking to the window overlooking the front porch, I see a patrol car sitting in the driveway. “It’s the police,” I say to Traveler with a confused expression. “Just stay here and I’ll see what’s going on. It’s probably someone Andrew works with asking about the baby.”

  “Okay, baby. I’ll take a quick shower.” As Traveler pulls himself from the bed, I can’t help but stare at his ribbed stomach and toned shoulders. He stretches his arms above his head, and I have to forcefully close my mouth.

  Throwing on a pair of boxer shorts and a tank top, I rush down the stairs as another round of loud knocking shakes my front door. “I’m coming!” I shout, nervousness settling in my stomach.

  I fling the door open to see Rick standing on my front porch, the lights on his patrol car flashing in the early morning light. “Rick, you scared me half to death, what’s wrong?” My mind flashes back to the night the police were at this very same front door. I’ll never forget the look on their faces the night they took Andrew and I to the hospital to tell us our parents had died. My hand automatically flies to my chest.

  “Sorry about that, Jo. I know it’s early. I hope I didn’t wake you,” he apologizes, realizing he may have gone overboard. “I, uhhh, I have to ask you about the altercation between Max Austin and a friend of yours yesterday evening.” I can tell he no more wants to be here than I want him here. Rick is Andrew’s partner, and it’s obvious he’s uncomfortable.

  “You gotta be kidding me, Rick.” My shoulders drop the tension, and I give a small laugh.

  “I wish I was, but Max was down at the station before the sun even came up this morning. I didn’t even have time to drink my coffee. He claims he was assaulted in your living room by a companion of yours who goes by the name of…Traveler?” He looks at me with a perplexed expression.

  “His name isn’t a crime, Rick. Also, it should be noted that Max had entered my house uninvited and when no one was home. He was sitting on my steps when we walked in.” I try to rack my brain from years of listening to Andrew and his police talk. I have to think of something to get Traveler out of this. A few weeks ago, it would shock me to think Max would do this. But after really seeing him for who he is, probably for the first time, I’m not the least bit surprised.

  “That so?” Rick asks. He seems as hopeful as I do.

  “Yep. He kissed me, uninvited, in my room earlier in the day. And then he kissed my hand, uninvited, in front of my—in front of, Traveler.” Rick notices my misstep. Using the word boyfriend seems trivial to describe what Traveler is to me. It feels like more. I also realize I’ve outed Max, and the chances of Katie finding out what he did have increased. I just don’t care anymore.

  “That does help. But you know Max is Mayor Austin’s son, and I at least have to bring Mr.…what is his last name again?” He pulls out his note pad and looks expectantly at me. It dawns on me that I don’t even know his last name. I don’t even think Traveler knows his last name at this point.

  “Smith,” I blurt out. I lied to the police. I blink back at Rick, hoping he will buy it.

  “Oookay.” He raises his eyebrows at me and shuts his notepad. “Like I was saying. I at least have to take Traveler Smith”—taking a pause and shaking his head at me—“down to the station for questioning. It’s likely nothing comes of this if what you say is true; however, mayor’s son…” He shrugs his shoulders apologetically.

  “I wish I could help you, Rick, but after Traveler saw me home from the hospital, he left as well. He hung around to make sure Max wouldn’t come back, and then he took off.” I look him in the eyes, hoping he buys my second lie in five minutes. “Have you gone by to see my little nephew yet?” I try deflecting.

  Rick looks at me for a second, deciding how far he wants to push me. “Some of the guys from the station are going to swing by after lunch today. How is Mary-Beth?”

  “She’s great. Trey, the baby, he’s perfect. They named him after Andrew…and my Dad.” I don’t feel the slightest bit guilty about using Rick’s pity to get Traveler and I out of this mess.

  “Wow. Johanna, that’s awesome,” Rick says genuinely, as he backs off my porch steps. “Just let Mr. Smith know I have a few questions for him when you see him again, will you?” He’s already halfway in his car.

  “Sure thing, Rick.” I wave and then close the front door behind me and lean agains
t it. Traveler is jogging down the stairs; his hair is wet, and his jeans are hanging low on his hips.

  “Baby, is everything okay?”

  “What’s your last name?” I ask him.

  He walks over to me and slides his arms around my waist and kisses me. “Smith,” he says, and I can’t help but laugh at the irony. I didn’t lie after all. “Or at least that is what the orphanage put on my birth certificate. The mystery man, also known as Arden, told the lady he handed me over to that my mother’s name was Bonnie Smith. It was a cover story.” He looks puzzled as to why I am just now asking about his name. “Who was that at the door?” His head snaps up, eyes instantly looking out the window.

  “The police. Max is pressing charges against you for assault. I told them you weren’t here. We need to make that true as soon as possible.”

  He looks at the front door as if he can see through it. “I think you might be the only good thing about this town.”

  I kiss his cheek before bounding up the stairs. “I’m going to take a quick shower, and then let’s hurry and get out of here. Fix me coffee!” I turn back and wink at him.

  “Yes, ma’am. Coffee with a pound of cream.”

  My heart could erupt, and I know I have never experienced the pull to anyone that I feel with him, but there is something in the back of my mind that won’t release me entirely. There’s a dreadful worry nagging at my brain. Arden said the only way for Traveler to be safe is for us to stay away from one another. I love him. There must be way.

  ****

  “Do you know how to drive?” I ask Traveler, as we load a cooler and a small bag in the back of my Jeep.

  “Seriously?” He stretches his hand out, waiting for the keys. I toss them in the air to him, and he turns, catching them behind his back and never misses a stride as he walks to the driver’s side. It’s eight a.m., and we are later getting on the road than we anticipated.