My Body-His

by Blakely Bennett

  The last week of work flew by, leaving me to sit in the apartment writing on my laptop. The movers came and went as I sat naked on the couch pounding away on the computer. I had stopped caring who saw me naked. It did help that the laptop covered my lower half. Luke came in and out while running errands. I made it over to the beach most days to get my runs in and never encountered Scott again.

  Time was growing short and I still hadn’t called my mother or told Sandy about my nakedness. I knew Luke and I would be moving into the beach house soon and that the wedding would take place a week after that. A part of me had resigned myself to my new life but another, larger part remained in denial about dealing with the old one.

  “You haven’t mentioned your mother,” Luke said as we lay in bed together. “You still haven’t called her, have you?”

  “No, and I haven’t told Sandy about my attire—or lack thereof, I should say.” I ran my hand back and forth over his chest.

  “Jane,” he said.

  “Hmmmm?” I said.

  “What are you waiting for?”

  “I’m just too happy right now to let my mother rain on my parade. With Sandy it’s just laziness.”

  “Go get me the phone,” Luke said, “and know that you owe me for this.” He pushed me to the edge of the bed and I climbed out.

  “The cell?”

  “No, mine from the office.”

  I walked into the office. Boxes were scattered everywhere. The photo album I had surreptitiously leafed through lay out on the counter. I wondered why it wasn’t in its box. I picked up the phone and grabbed the photo album as well.

  “What’s this?” I said as I strode back into the bedroom holding out the black bound book.

  “What does it look like?”

  “It looks like a photo album, obviously. It was sitting out on the counter. Are these pictures of your models?”

  “Please put it back in the office, Jane.” The tone in his voice changed and I knew I was treading dangerously.

  “What about trust and not keeping secrets? Is that just on my end?”

  “Look at it then if you must but then put it back. I don’t want to talk about it after you’re done.”

  I didn’t need to turn the pages because every picture remained engraved in my memory. I went through the motions of seeing the pictures for the first time. I asked him each girl’s name, even though I already knew them from matching them up with the files. When he said, “Janice,” the tone of his voice became dark and ominous. Janice already worried me the most because only her picture hung in his office.

  “Tell me about Janice,” I said. I knew I was pushing where I should’ve left well enough alone but even though we were getting married, jealousy still lurked beneath the surface.

  “I have no interest in talking about old girlfriends, Jane. They’re in the past, and you’re my future. That’s all you need to know.”

  “You have Janice hanging on the wall of your office. There are more pictures of her than anyone else on your website AND she’s in your photo album. I think it’s more than reasonable for me to be curious about her.”

  “BUT Jane, I have no interest in talking about her. She is dead to me.”

  “Dead to you? That’s such a load of bullshit. You do not hang a picture of someone who’s dead to you. What gives?”

  “Nothing gives. Just leave it alone. She’s gone and in the past. She’s nothing for you to worry about. Now give me the damn phone and let’s call your mother.”

  I wanted to ask about the empty pages in the back of the book but I acquiesced because what else could I do? I couldn’t make him talk to me. Plus, he offered to deal with my mother, which made me unbelievably grateful. I walked the photo album back to the office and climbed back into bed with him.

  “Here,” I said, handing him the phone.

  “Jane, before I call your mom I want to say this: I am marrying you. I’ve chosen to make a life with you. Don’t waste your time on my past. I don’t. I will not hang Janice’s photo in our new house—just pictures of you and us.” Something shifted and the energy change in the room became palpable. He said, “Do not bring up Janice again.” His tone chilled and bewildered me.

  I wanted to know about this person who’d had such a noticeable impact on him. I had to learn the truth about what had happened between them. I wondered if I could find her somehow and hear her story. I had to assume because of all the pictures that she had been with Luke the longest. I also knew what that meant: she had gone the farthest. Her boundaries and lines of demarcation had been pushed the deepest. I hated her. I hated how her name impacted Luke. I wanted to smash her picture hanging on the office wall.

  Luke brought my attention back as he placed the phone on speaker and I could hear it ringing.

  “Hello? Who’s calling at this time of night?” my mother said in her usual annoyed voice.

  “Hi, Jacqueline, it's Luke.”

  “Oh Luke, why didn’t you say so?” Her voice immediately changed. She had switched to her sweet persona.

  “Jane and I have some news to tell you. She’s been a bad girl and has put off this call so I decided that we should call you together. Say hi, Jane.”

  “Hi, Mother,” I said.

  “Hi, Jane. What is this about?”

  Luke answered for me. “Jane and I are getting married in a couple of weeks and we want to make sure you’ll be there.”

  “Married? Where is this happening? What about all the planning? That doesn’t leave a lot of time.”

  “Jack, there’s nothing for you to worry about. I’ve taken care of all the details.” I cringed when he called her Jack. That’s the name my father used to have for her. Luke continued, “Janey and I are moving in less than a week to a house on the beach and that’s where the wedding will take place.”

  “Who will be there because I won’t come if—”

  “Jane’s father will not be present for the wedding so you have nothing to worry about. Can we count on you attending?”

  “Of course I’ll be there. Jane?”

  “Yes, Mother,” I said.

  “Have you found a dress yet because I know of a

  place—”

  “There’s no need for a dress,” Luke broke in. “Janey will be naked at the wedding. She was sure you wouldn’t come and that’s why she’s put off this call. I, on the other hand, know you’ll decide to be supportive of your daughter’s choices and come regardless of her lack of attire.”

  A long pause ensued and I realized I was holding my breath. I couldn’t be sure which way I wanted it to go. If she didn’t come, then one fewer person—the person who would be most shocked to see me married naked—would be elsewhere. On the other hand, even with all the fighting my mother and I did, I had always pictured her being a part of my big day.

  I knew she was sitting there on the couch in her condo deciding which way she wanted to go. She could make a big stink and not come to the wedding or she could buy into Luke’s attempt to manipulate her.

  After what seemed like a decade she said, “Why does Jane have to be naked for the wedding?”

  “Because I want it that way and she has agreed. You can choose to come and be a support for Jane or not. Either way, it’s up to you.”

  Luke played her like a violin. He gave her the power to choose but denied her the power to influence the outcome. I began to find the process amusing. It felt more like a chess match than my life in the balance. I waited to hear my mother’s next move.

  “What if it’s chilly out or her friends don’t like it?” she said.

  “I get to worry about all the details. All you have to do is show up and be the kind, supportive mother you already are.”

  Could he blow any more smoke up her skirt? Jeez. The load of crap was getting thick in there.

  She aimed her next move at me. “Jane?”

  “Yes, Mother,” I said.

  “Are you okay with this? The Jane I know doesn’t care for being naked and woul
d never consider it around a group of people. What happened to the wedding you have been planning for years?”

  “Yes, Mom, I’m okay with it. If you can’t handle it, then I understand.”

  “And give you a chance to invite your father? I don’t think so. I will be there but don’t expect me to be thrilled to see you go down the aisle in nothing other than what God gave you.”

  “Jacqueline, I knew you wouldn’t let us down. Janey will call you with all the details in a few days.”

  “How you handle my mother is truly brilliant,” I said to Luke after he disconnected the call.

  “I can already tell I’ll have to talk with her on the wedding day or she might try to make it miserable for you. Trust that I won’t let that happen.”

  “I do,” I said.

  “Your turn. Call Sandy and get it over with.”

  I sat there on the bed listening to the phone ring. I hoped she wouldn’t answer so I could procrastinate a while longer. The prospect of telling Sandy loomed almost as large as telling my mother, because she knew me so well in college. She knew the issues I had with my body. She understood how I struggled to be comfortable with men seeing me naked in the light. She would be the only one there to truly know how far I’d come. Not that she would see it that way. She would see how far I had moved away from myself, from the person I had previously been. She was the keeper of the old me.

  “Jason here, who’s calling?”

  “Hi Jason, its Jane.”

  “Oh, Jane, hold on a sec and I’ll get Sandy. Congrats by the way. I’m very excited to hear you’re writing a book. I’d love to hear about it. Here’s Sandy.”

  I heard the shuffling of the phone and then she said, “What’s up, girl?”

  “I need to tell you something about the wedding. You might want to sit down.”

  “Sit down? Just spit it out. What is it?”

  “First off,” I said. I thought of it in the moment and decided my course of action. “I would love for you to be my maid of honor.” I looked over at Luke and he gifted me a big smile.

  “Yay, of course yes. That will be fun. Tell me what you need me to do. Will I need to help with your train or find you a garter or—”

  “That brings me to the second thing,” I said, cutting her off.

  “Okay,” she said.

  “I won’t be needing a garter—or a dress, for that matter.”

  “Oh. So, what will you be wearing?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Nothing? What does that mean, nothing? Is this a joke?”

  “No joke. I’ll be naked at my wedding. I know you think it’s strange but please just say you’ll be there.”

  “Jane, I don’t get this. This isn’t you. You always wanted an ivory dress for your wedding, right? I mean, I’m having trouble taking this in. Hang on a sec.”

  I heard muffled voices and knew she was covering the receiver. I did the same and told Luke, “This isn’t going well.”

  “Give her a chance to accept it. She’ll probably tell you that she needs to think about it. It’s understandable.”

  “Jane?” she said.

  “I’m here,” I said.

  “Can I call you tomorrow or the next day? I need time.”

  “Okay.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I hung up the phone. “Well, that didn’t go well. Pretty much as expected.”

  “It’ll be fine. Jason will talk some sense into her,” Luke said.

  I sat on the bed, my shoulders down, feeling defeated. I needed Sandy to be there.

  Luke scooped me up into his arms and cradled me to him. “Trust me, love. It’s all going to work out.”

  * * * *

  The days flew by and before I knew it only a day separated me from matrimony. Luke and I didn’t discuss the wedding. He said he had it all taken care of and I trusted that he did. I spent my days exercising and writing. The movers transitioned us from our apartment to the new house within one day. Luke worked on his new office/studio space and I set up my new writing room. I enjoyed the freedom and joy of the days leading up to the wedding. Luke found no reason to discipline me and our lovemaking sessions became more normal rather than exotic encounters from the strange world of bondage and discipline.

  “Luke,” I called out. “Come see my new writing room.”

  “I’m busy hanging up my favorite tools for your discipline,” he said, chuckling from his studio office. “You should come in here and see.”

  “Luke!” I said. I knew I was whining.

  “Is that bottom lip of yours sticking out?” he said as he entered my room. “I thought so.” He came at me in two long strides, capturing my bottom lip with his teeth. “Yum,” he mumbled as he sucked my lip into his mouth.

  “Hey,” I said, giggling. I pushed him off of me. “Look around, please, and tell me what you think.”

  “I think we need to christen your new desk right away.”

  “Come on, Luke, I’m serious,” I said as he closed the distance between us and lifted me onto the desk.

  “So am I,” he said, his intention already evident in his jeans.

  “I can see that now,” I said, looking down.

  He leaned into me, still fully clothed, and ruled my mouth with his tongue. He pushed his hard cock in between my legs, letting me know what would be taking me shortly.

  “I should discipline you for distracting me from my unpacking,” he said as he stood up to remove his button fly jeans.

  I hopped off the desk and leaned over it, presenting my ass for him.

  “Don’t think I won’t take advantage of that position.” He pinned me to the desk, spreading my arms out in front of me. “Such a naughty girl you are,” he said, spreading my legs and using his other hand to ease his cock into me from behind.

  I felt stretched wide and pulled forward. I turned to look at him and he regained his pursuit of my mouth. Each penetrating stroke of his erection pushed me hard against the edge of the desk.

  He broke off his kiss and let go of my arms. “Jane, stroke your clit for me so we can cum together.”

  I snaked my right hand underneath me and slowly circled my pussy, covering my clitoris with my wetness. My carnality grew from the point of my arousal and trailed out past my nipples, which Luke now held clamped between his fingers. He rubbed them back and forth, causing pleasure to shoot out and encompass my whole body. Luke’s invasion penetrated me so deeply and fully that I could feel him hit against my uterus.

  “Oh fuck me hard, fuck me hard … that feels so good,” I said as he continued to slam into me.

  “Your ass looks so good and your pussy is so wet for me. Your big swollen nipples are so hard. Tell me when you’re getting close,” he said as he bit my neck.

  I could feel his panting against my shoulder and his sweat against my back. “I’m already close,” I called out, gripping the left side of the desk with my free hand.

  “Okay, babe, it’s time! Cum with me,” he roared out as he slammed against me harder than before, forcing my hips against the edge of the desk.

  I frantically rubbed my pussy, cumming with him as we both collapsed.

  I laughed, “Goddamn, where did that come from?” I wondered how many more pieces of furniture we would be christening.

  He laughed with me as we both tried to catch our breath and slow our racing hearts. He pushed himself off me, swatted my ass and said, “You are fucking amazing. I love you so much, Soon To Be Mrs. Hall.” He pulled me to my feet and wrapped me in his arms. “I would love to crawl in bed with you and take a nap but I really want my office set up before tomorrow.”

  “Maybe we can try the kitchen next time,” I said as he pulled on his jeans. I swatted his butt as he left my writing room.

  He leaned back in the doorway and said, “That’s a great idea! There are a lot of spatulas in there.”

  “Luke!” I pouted, but this time he headed back to his office.

  * * * *

  The deliveries began by ten
. Men were out on the beach setting up a tent for tomorrow and other men covered the pool with a wooden dance floor. I still hadn’t heard from Sandy. Parker had agreed to be my backup maid of honor. She felt sure Sandy would come through but I had my doubts.

  I had such mixed feelings about our upcoming nuptials. I couldn’t wait to be Mrs. Luke Hall but I could wait forever to walk down the aisle in front of my mother and friends. I could barely breathe for the whole day leading up to the wedding.

  I sat and watched the workers transform the back of the house. I couldn’t focus enough to write down my thoughts and feelings. If only I knew whether Sandy would show up and support me through it …. Finally I gave in and picked up the phone.

  “Hi Jason,” I said when I heard his voice on the other end of the line.

  “She’s not here,” he said.

  “Oh ….” I said.

  “We will be there, Jane,” Jason said, to my utter relief.

  “She hasn’t called and—”

  “Yeah, I know. She’s being a bit stubborn but she’ll be there. We’ll be there to support you. We don’t get your choices but as I’ve told Sandy repeatedly, we don’t need to. We just need to support you in the choices that you make because we love you.”

  “Jason, if you were here I’d give you a big hug. Thank you so much. It’s such a relief to know you’ll both be here.”

  “Wouldn’t miss it, Jane. How often does one get invited to a wedding where a beautiful woman marches down the aisle naked? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.” He laughed. “No way I’m missing it.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  On the day of the wedding, I awoke in a panic. In my last dream there were hundreds of people in attendance and I had to walk past all of them. I breathed a sigh of relief that it was only a dream.

  After my morning ritual, I settled myself on the couch by the window. When I looked out back I saw a gazebo on the beach and men arranging chairs behind it. One man came around back with an additional set of chairs on a hand cart.

  “Luke!” I said, yelling toward the back of the house. My dream was manifesting before my eyes.

  He stuck his head out of his office and said, “Give me a sec.”