My Mother in Law's Lover

by S M Mala

  ‘Only when it comes to other people’s men!’ she snaps and we glare at each other even though I know she has a valid point.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ I eventually ask seeing something’s bugging her, other than me.

  ‘Nothing it doesn’t matter. Are you going to eat a whole cow today or is that just for your starter?’ she snipes and I can see she’s pleased with her little joke.

  ‘Just half. Look, you don’t invite me out all the time and I relish our meetings,’ I say sarcastically. ‘I really do, so tell me what’s on your mind and we’ll clear the air.’

  ‘He’s seeing someone else,’ she said now looking deeply troubled.

  ‘As opposed to you and me? Well you have to give him some credit for stamina.’ I am a little surprised but keep light lipped. He said if he could see me more he would. Bloody liar!

  ‘Aren’t you upset he’s two timing us?’ she says.

  ‘Us? Blimey things are looking bad if we’re being united in a sentence.’

  ‘Aren’t you bothered?’

  ‘No.’ I lie and look at her. It’s apparent she is. ‘Does it matter? He’s probably found something new to interest him! There’s so much old and fat pussy you can take,’ I laugh as my joke falls flat.

  ‘I knew this was a mistake, trying to talk to you about something very serious,’ she snaps and throws down her napkin. ‘I’m not hungry now.’

  ‘Hold on,’ I say knowing I need her to stay and pay. ‘Doesn’t he do this all the time? Tell you he’s seeing someone else?’

  ‘Who told you that?’ she asks indignantly.

  ‘He did,’ I say feeling a little guilty I have let slip we occasionally talk about her.

  ‘What else does he say?’

  ‘That he’s not going to end his relationship with you,’ I sigh. ‘Joan you’re a lucky woman. He does put you first.’

  ‘I know,’ she snarls calling over the waiter. ‘Frederick, can we have a bottle of the usual, some still mineral water and as you can see my guest is deciding how many pies she can eat in one sitting.’

  I’m trying to be nice but I still hate her.

  ‘You knew deep down not to touch him. You must have known how I felt about Hal,’ she says icily and I know she has been building up to this moment.

  ‘Yes but-.’

  ‘There’s no ‘buts’ Belle,’ she says leaning over. ‘You slept with my man. That was low.’ She’s so good at making me feel bad and I have to admit it, Joan has good cause.

  ‘You told me about seeing him. I wasn’t up for it then he persuaded me.’

  ‘With his dick?’

  ‘You think if he hadn’t pounced on me things would be different?’ I can see she’s still not convinced. ‘He’d be screwing someone else. At least you know where he’s been.’

  ‘Don’t remind me.’ She actually shudders. ‘I’d like to get him disinfected in sheep dip if I could.’

  ‘I’m not happy he has to have sex with you!’ I hiss. ‘But I have no choice.’

  ‘You do have a choice!’ she snaps.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Finish it with him,’ she hisses back. ‘Tell him it’s all over and I’ll let you off this time.’

  ‘No!’

  ‘Stop it before it gets out of hand and you get hurt.’

  ‘How can he hurt me anymore than I have been?’

  ‘You’re doing this to spite me aren’t you?’

  ‘You ruined my chance with Josh, of course I am,’ comes out from my mouth and our eyes clash.

  I really shouldn’t have said that.

  ‘I know,’ she says examining my face. ‘That’s the only thing I actually respect you for. You’ve come out fighting even though you’re in a losing battle.’

  ‘Thanks!’ My guilt about upsetting her has diminished in a second.

  ‘This time Hal’s being secretive. Haven’t you noticed anything odd about him?’

  ‘No more than usual,’ I reply and smile at the thought of getting a bottle of wine to get me through this lunch.

  ‘Find out,’ she leans over ignoring the waiter pouring the wine out.

  ‘I’m not your spy,’ I reply hoping to shed some dignity in the mucky set up.

  ‘You’re his fuck buddy,’ she hisses over the table. ‘That’s what he calls you.’

  ‘I didn’t think he’d call me lover, wife or girlfriend.’

  ‘You know I’m absolutely shocked by your behaviour,’ she says slamming down her glass of wine on the table. ‘Don’t you care about him?’

  ‘He gave me ground rules as so did you! No attachments, plenty of fun and no falling in love. I really like him but even I know you can’t have a relationship with a man like that.’

  It has crossed my mind several times about a romantic attachment but when you know he’s porking your mother in law, the whole idea comes crashing to the ground.

  ‘Belle,’ she begins. ‘He’s hurting me.’

  ‘How?’ I can see she is actually pained by saying it and I feel slightly sorry for her, not much, just slightly.

  ‘I’ve been close to Hal for years, regardless of what you think of the relationship, and something has got in the way but I don’t know what?’

  ‘Is it me?’

  ‘Oh don’t be silly,’ she lightens up and laughs. ‘With you I know it’s a health precaution not a matter to do with his heart.’

  ‘I don’t understand?’

  She’s such a bitch sometimes as she looks at me with her cat’s arse face then smirks.

  ‘I’d rather he slept with you than some prostitute,’ she grins. ‘And certainly not someone he loves.’

  ‘You are remarkable, aren’t you?’

  Really I don’t know what to say to that comment.

  ‘I know,’ she smiles. ‘That prostitute comment is nearly as good as turning up to the hospital after Beth was born and asking if you had the baby because your belly was humongous!’

  ‘I’d had a caesarean. It was swollen.’

  ‘You were so fat!’

  ‘You’re a bitch Joan.’ I remember being mortified by that comment while her and her bloody son laughed about it. Bastards!

  We order and she seems to be lightening up after a few glasses of wine.

  ‘You still don’t know Hal well enough, do you?’ she asks looking at me closely

  ‘Get to the point.’ I know there’s, a very sharp, one coming.

  ‘He has had many women. I’ve always known what he’s been up to, though you took me by surprise and he was pretty secretive.’

  ‘So you keep saying.’

  ‘Look,’ she puts her hand on mine and I feel poison seep through her pores. ‘He has been nice to you. But then again you are an easy lay.’

  I pull my hand away from hers. The food arrives and this is a good excuse for her to eat up and shut up. But she doesn’t.

  ‘When push comes to shove he always finds someone else. Why don’t you ask him about his track record?’ she sighs.

  ‘I don’t ask.’ I cut deeply into the fishcake, thinking it could easily be her throat.

  ‘I don’t want to lose him,’ she says passionately flicking her blonde mane away from her face. I stop eating and look at her. There is genuine fear in her expression. She is deeply in love with this man and I feel a fear he might have found my replacement and was speaking to her on the phone.

  ‘I saw Meg a fortnight ago. She was asking about you,’ she says sipping her water.

  ‘What?’ She has a way a throwing things up, probably much like her food that’s how she stays so slim.

  ‘I told her the truth,’ she says grinning like a Cheshire cat over her glass of wine.

  ‘What truth?’

  ‘You know, about sleeping with Josh after the wedding, turning his head.’

  ‘You are kidding me aren’t you?’

  ‘I thought it was best to let her know.’

  ‘That was a long time ago. What else did you say?’ I wait for Joan to chew the sliver of le
ttuce in her mouth 100 times before she answers. I can feel the alarm creeping through my body. She doesn’t answer me.

  ‘That’s all she needed to know,’ she says, avoiding eye contact. I put down my knife and fork.

  ‘You amaze me, you really do.’ I’ve lost my appetite but my ability to consume alcohol takes over, as I pour myself another glass of wine. ‘Why are you telling me this?’ There’s always a reason when it comes to this, two faced, scheming bitch.

  ‘I want to be honest with you. You know they’re back together?’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Josh and Meg,’ she smiles and even I can tell she looks uncomfortable.

  ‘Let me get this straight. You told Meg about Josh and me before or after they go back together?’

  ‘I didn’t know they’d give it another go!’ she half snaps and laughs. ‘I thought he was happy with this new girl but seems it wasn’t that serious.’

  ‘What did Meg say to you when you told her?’ My heart is thumping hard because if I was Meg I’d want to kill me. ‘I said he was having a sort of breakdown when he slept with you. What other reason would there be?’

  ‘You… you leave me speechless.’ She looks like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth but I think caustic soda might sit better. ‘And you want me to help you with Hal?’

  ‘I want us to be honest with each other because, I hate to admit it, you’re all I’ve got. I know god dealt me a bloody heavy hand when he landed me with you!’

  I think, in her own way, she has just told me she loves me… or maybe not.

  ‘I’m going to have a party next Thursday,’ Hal announces walking into his living room as I sit there trying to think of how to approach him about cheating on ‘us’.

  My head is still reeling from my lunch with the mother in law last week.

  ‘Belle are you listening to me?’ he says standing in front of me, looking beautiful.

  ‘Another party so soon?’ I ask. ‘What’s the occasion?’

  ‘I’m going to be forty five.’

  ‘Bloody hell I forgot you were that old,’ I say cheekily.

  ‘And how old are you again?’

  ’Thirty six,’ I blatantly lie.

  ‘And the rest.’

  ‘Nearly forty four,’ I smile. I look out the window and I remember in a matter of weeks it will be my birthday and a year since Josh got married.

  ‘What’s on your mind?’ he says sitting next to me rubbing my shoulders.

  ‘Are you happy with me?’ I ask.

  ‘In what respect?’

  ‘Happy?’

  Why is that such a complicated question for this man?

  ‘Of course I am,’ he replies gently. ‘Aren’t you?’

  ‘What do you think about me?’ I persist. ‘Joan told me what you call me.’

  ‘Ah, fuck buddy,’ he laughs then grimaces. ‘Are you offended?’

  ‘No not really.’ I gulp hard. ‘It sounds a little cold.’

  ‘I call you that because it makes Joan happy to hear how flip I am about you as if I don’t care,’ he says, coming close to my face and peering into my eyes. ‘But you know I don’t mean it. Whatever is on your mind spit it out.’

  ‘Nothing,’ I gulp guiltily.

  ‘I think I know you well enough to know you’re lying,’ he smiles and kisses me on the nose.

  ‘It doesn’t matter,’ I shrug knowing if I ask him about the new woman he’ll get the arse.

  ‘Let’s have a bath,’ he suddenly announces.

  ‘I don’t smell do I?’

  ‘I do.’ He pulls me up and slaps my arse as we walk up the stairs.

  I’m standing in the bathroom looking into the mirror and I’m grimacing. I’m not going to be happy if he has found someone else but I need to know too, not only for Joan.

  ‘What are you thinking?’ he says standing by the door.

  ‘Nothing.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ he says looking at me suspiciously before walking out.

  I quickly get into the bath.

  ‘I hate this,’ I say knowing this situation is absurd.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ he says walking back in.

  ‘Too hot,’ I reply and smile. He takes off his clothes and is frowning at me before getting in. From where I’m sitting, he’s shrivelled up.

  ‘The fact you didn’t want anything to eat,’ he begins, ‘and you’re acting really strangely leads me to believe that something is bothering you.’ He puts his foot in between by crotch and wiggles his toes. I grab his foot to stop the distraction.

  ‘Firstly I’m having a thin day which means I’m not hungry.’

  ‘I’ve never witnessed that before,’ he laughs sinking deeper into the water.

  ‘It’s nearly a year ago Josh got married,’ I blurt out. ‘It’s playing on my mind.’

  ‘I see,’ he says looking sympathetically at me. ‘How do you feel?’

  ‘I missed out on love’s dream.’

  ‘You don’t talk about him much.’

  ‘He has got back together with Meg. She knows what I did the night after the wedding thanks to the mother in law.’

  ‘You’re joking?’ He looks genuinely shocked. ‘That’s bad news.’

  ‘Joan said she told her about three weeks ago which doesn’t make sense why she looked so angry when she saw us months ago? When I saw Josh he even mentioned she saw us,’ I say.

  ‘You never told me you saw him,’ he says sitting up for a moment then sinks back. ‘What happened?’

  ‘He said basically I was a bad person, if you really want to know,’ I say feeling my face blush with shame.

  ‘Do you think you’re a bad person?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ I sigh and look at him.

  ‘It bothers you, doesn’t it,’ he says with concern. ‘What people think?’

  ‘Josh said I’m making a fool of myself, actually a lot of people think I’m being set up. Joan wants me to end it with you,’ I say and watch as he raises his eyebrows.

  ‘And you said what?’

  ‘No.’ I watch him smile but it’s more out of sympathy I suspect.

  ‘You’re not as sad as you used to be when I first met you,’ he says leaning forward and stroking my face.

  ‘I know at Joan’s party I was miserable.’

  ‘That’s not the first time,’ he gently says and cups my chin. ‘Please don’t get upset but I was at Kai’s funeral.’

  I look at his face as he’s anxiously waiting for me to say something.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me before?’ I ask, my heart beating faster. ‘But you don’t tell me much, do you?’

  ‘When I mentioned him last year, when we went for our boat trip,’ he smiles and holds my face. ‘You looked upset, actually angry, so I thought best not to say anything.’

  ‘I see,’ I say trying to rack my brains. ‘I didn’t see you at the funeral.’

  ‘You looked so devastated I’m surprised you can remember the day,’ he gently says.

  ‘It wasn’t the best moment in my life,’ I reply grabbing his other hand and holding it.

  ‘When I saw you again three years later, you had the same expression. Now look at you, you’re far happier.’

  ‘Thanks to you.’

  ‘I don’t think Josh was good for you.’

  ‘I thought I really loved him,’ I say honestly. ‘Joan stopped you getting together with the man you loved, how can you forgive her?’ Hal sits back in the bath and looks at me.

  ‘I got my own back and slept with the man she loves,’ I say and look at him as he pushes his fingers through his hair to make it wet. ‘Anyway it’s not all her fault.’

  ‘I was a revenge screw?’ he smiles.

  ‘You were a nice screw,’ I gently say and it’s moments like this I wish he was ‘the one’ for me. ‘And the sex is great.’

  ‘Why thank you m’am.’

  ‘But I do need someone I can call my own.’ I want him and me to go on forever but I better keep tight lipped.


  ‘At least you’re honest,’ he laughs.

  ‘Actually sometimes I wish, oh it’s silly.’

  ‘What’s silly?’ he says narrowing his eyes. ‘Tell me and let me be the judge.’

  ‘I wish you were a long term thing,’ I honestly say as his smile fades and he looks away.

  Me and my big mouth!

  ‘I’m not.’

  ‘Don’t worry I know,’ I reply. For a moment I wished he said he was. What’s happening to me?

  ‘Maybe you can still have Josh,’ he half smiles.

  ‘You said he wasn’t good for me.’

  ‘He’s not,’ he says seriously. ‘But if it makes you happy.’

  ‘It’s too late,’ I sigh. ‘Joan was right, if he wanted me then he would have fought for me but he didn’t.’

  ‘You still love him don’t you?’ he says looking at me with a sad expression on his face. ‘It’s okay. I’m not going to get upset.’

  ‘Not even a little?’ I say pondering on his openness. ‘I don’t know what I feel about Josh. I don’t know how I feel about a lot of things. Maybe he was my emotional rebound after Kai.’

  ‘What about me?’ Hal asks and he’s biting his bottom lip. ‘You better not be falling in love with me.’

  ‘I,’ for a moment I have to take a deep breath. ‘I’m trying very hard not to.’

  ‘Try harder,’ he says closing his eyes and relaxing in the bath and I know he’s not interested in my words of romance.

  ‘Are you in love with Joan?’ I jauntily ask trying to break the mood

  He immediately opens his eyes and I notice he’s thinking hard about something.

  ‘I enjoy being with her,’ he says, sinking in the bath.

  ‘How did she feel when you got married?’

  ‘That was twelve years ago,’ he sighs.

  ‘How long did you stay in your marriage?’

  ‘About five years,’ he sighs. ‘Joan wasn’t happy but I fell in love then the marriage broke down and here I am again.’

  ‘What did your wife say about Joan?’ I ask, sitting up and leaning closer to him.

  ‘She knew we were close but she was cool about it,’ he smiles.

  ‘Why did you break up?’ I ask enjoying him opening up.

  ‘I felt trapped and I had to go.’

  ‘How did your wife cope? She must have been devastated? And what about the kids?’

  ‘I’ve told you enough,’ he quickly says sinking into the water and closing his eyes again.