Alone

by Abigail Wallace

  “I wouldn’t if I were you.” Alec snaps. Evan attempts to remain unfazed, but I see him flinch.

  “I agree.” I say, trying to redirect before the two of them get into it again. “So maybe we can all go out after dinner. We should have about an hour and a half left of sunlight.” I suggest.

  Alec nods in agreement.

  “Should somebody stay here?” Evan asks.

  “Why? Are you afraid some dead guy is gonna break in?” Ally jokes. Nobody laughs. I notice Ally and Evan glaring at each other. Ally has a tendency to follow Alec’s lead I’ve noticed. She looks up to him.

  “No, we’ll all go.” Alec says calmly, the sudden shift in his temperament gives me chills. Shark and I make eye contact. He narrows his eyes slightly, making me uncomfortable. I follow his gaze once again to Evan and then back to me. There’s something off about the two of them. I smile at him, he stands and leaves the table quietly.

  Everybody grabs a water bottle as we head out to find supplies. We start one street over Shark and Evan go into an ugly yellow house. Alec, Ally and I go into the charred house next to it. Ally goes upstairs while Alec and I search the kitchen. We both hear Ally scream and bolt up the stairs to see what happened.

  Alec goes to Ally immediately to comfort her, she’s shaking and staring at something. I move closer to see what it is. I gasp when I realize what Ally was looking at. I hear footsteps coming up the stairs, but can’t turn around. I’m frozen. There they are. Two charred, lifeless bodies crumpled on the floor. It looks like a young couple. My brain plasters the faces of my parents on them. My heart climbs to my throat as I choke back tears. I squeeze my eyes shut.

  “Scarlet.” Shark puts a hand on my shoulder. Without thinking I turn and bury my face in his chest. He holds me. I listen as Alec and Evan carry the bodies away. Ally continues sobbing in a corner.

  “Gather whatever you think is useful.” I order, pushing myself away from Shark and wiping the tears from my face. I didn’t mean to cry on him like that. “We don’t have long until sundown.” I take a deep, shaky breath and begin collecting items that I believe to be useful.

  I try not to think about the bodies. I am annoyed with myself for crying. Shark stays close to me as we invade the next house and gather supplies. Though I’m suspicious of him, I feel protected having him near me. Alec finds a bunch of wood and tools in the shed. Ally refuses to go into another house, I don’t push her. Evan is looking upstairs for supplies while Shark and I search the kitchen for canned goods and water.

  “We should head back.” Alec says, hauling two planks of wood through the living room. “The sun’s going down and it’s going to get cold.” I finish packing my bag with supplies and stand up, joining Alec by the door.

  “Alec, can you and Evan come back for the rest tomorrow?” I ask. He nods. Evan returns from upstairs with a couple of blankets, I didn’t even think to look for those.

  When we return to the house we all head straight to bed except Alec and I who both decide to work late.

  “You doing okay?” Alec asks as we work side by side.

  “Yeah, why?” I reply.

  “You just seemed pretty upset after we saw those bodies earlier.”

  “Yeah.” I laugh uncomfortably. “You think I’d be used to seeing that by now.”

  “I’m not sure anyone should ever get used to seeing that.”

  “Maybe not.” I sigh. “It hasn’t bothered me in nearly a month. I haven’t cried since the attacks.” I tell him. “Not until today. I’m not sure if I was ever even sad about it.”

  “Sometimes sadness manifests as emptiness you know.”

  “Maybe that’s it.” I shrug, “I don’t know Alec. I’m not sure I’ve really cared. All I care about it’s staying busy.”

  “Staying distracted.” he corrects. I roll the thought around my mind a little bit. “Scarlet, don’t beat yourself up because you don’t think you’re upset in the way you should be. There’s no one way to grieve. You chose to distract yourself, to bury yourself in work, and you need to rest. You need to slow down and feel what you’re inevitably going to end up feeling.”

  Is Alec giving me advice on how to handle my emotions right now?

  “That’s not the only reason I’m doing this.” I reply.

  He looks at me, confused, waiting for me to finish my thought.

  “I’m doing this because I need hope. I need to feel like what we’re doing is going to change something for the better.”

  He raises an eyebrow, studying me for a moment.

  “I was wrong about you. Wasn’t I? You aren’t all anger.” His eyes fill with pity for a second.

  “Either way,” He snaps out of whatever thought he was just having, “You’re going to exhaust yourself if you keep going like this.”

  “So will you.” I remind him that he’s up every night with me.

  “Maybe so. But you-we, cannot keep going like this.” He puts his tools away and stands up. “I’ll go to bed if you will.”

  I put my tools away and nod. I can’t promise him that I’ll sleep, but I will lay down. He gestures for me to go ahead of him on the stairs. I climb them quietly and slide into the girls room. I do my best not to disturb them as I lay down.

  3

  Chapter 3

  I’m getting anxious about Kat and Kevin. I know it’s just been a couple weeks and they’ll be back any time now. But I can’t help but wonder if they’re okay.

  I’m sitting in the garden thinking when Ally comes out and sits next to me.

  “Hey, can we talk?” she asks.

  “Of course.” I say to her, smiling.

  “So, are you still planning that whole, attack thing?” she asks, “Because I was looking at those bodies yesterday and I was angry, sure. It breaks my heart that so many people had to suffer and die. But, I know you want to and it’s all Evan talks about, but I just don’t want more people to die.” she explains. I’m impressed by her understanding and compassion towards the subject.

  “I don’t know to be honest, but I agree that nobody else should die.” I say, “What’s this about Evan talking about it?”

  “Oh, he’s just always talking about how simple it would be to kill them. Like if we could find the one’s responsible, it wouldn’t be that hard to return the favor.”

  I stop before replying, “He hasn’t talked to me about it.” I lie.

  “I don’t think he brings it up around Alec either, but he’s obsessed. He’s so angry and aggressive all of the time.”

  “Aggressive?”

  Ally begins to use examples of times where Evan has lost his temper.

  I listen, growing more and more concerned by the minute. I didn’t know Evan was this much of a problem, although I feel like I should’ve guessed.

  “You shouldn’t be working with him.” I warn myself.

  Ally leaves after explaining everything and I ask her to send Alec out. I think as I wait for Alec to come outside. For the last few days or however long it’s been, I’ve been daydreaming of getting revenge, but is it really worth it? Is siding with Evan my best call? If anybody would know how to handle this, it’s Alec.

  “You alright?” Alec asks as he comes to sit next to me.

  “I don’t know,” I half smile. “It’s about Evan.”

  “What about him? You don’t trust him?” he asks.

  I nod. “Ally told me some things he’s been doing and saying.”

  “What did she say?” he asks.

  I tell him everything that she told me, everything that I can remember anyway. He doesn’t respond at all, he just listens.

  “And… don’t hate me.” I want to tell him about the maps and blueprints.

  “Don’t hate you more you mean.”

  “Okay, fair.” I pinch my lips together. “You know, never mind, it’s not a big deal.” I change my mind, remembering that Alec isn’t a big fan of mine. Telling him about Evan and I would make it much worse.

  “Fine, I don’t wanna
know anyway.” he huffs. “About Evan, I say we just kick him out.”

  “Just kick him out?”

  “Next time he does something stupid, I will throw him out myself. Literally.” He cracks his neck

  “Alright.” I reply, not sure what else to say at this point. Was that last part supposed to be funny? I can’t really tell with Alec.

  I sit and think for a long time. I stare at the ground and pick at the grass that is peeking through the dirt.

  “Isn’t it boring? Sitting out here alone,” Evan’s voice startles me, “staring at dirt.”

  “What do you want?” I ask, standing up.

  “Just going for a walk.” He moves closer.

  I stand up.

  “I’ve been wanting to talk to you actually.”

  “About?” I cross my arms over his chest. I can smell alcohol on his breath as he steps closer to me.

  “I need to tell you something.” he slurs.

  “So tell me.”

  “Not here,” He looks around the garden, “come with me.”

  “Maybe when you’re sober.” I reply, trying to step past him. He steps in front of me and grabs my arm.

  “Now!” he growls, yanking my arm in the direction of the other house.

  “Let go of me.” I demand. “You don’t need to be so rough.”

  He keeps leading me as if he can’t hear me talking. I feel his grip grow tighter around my wrist as we near the house.

  “I already saw all the papers.” I remind him, hoping he’ll let me go.

  “I know, but listen,” he begins. “I know you think my theories are crazy and the bomb is crazy. I also know you’re having trouble not believing me. Here’s another tidbit for ya. These people are guilty, they’re all guilty. The ones who detonated the bombs and the ones who bought their spots in the bunkers.”

  “Evan, do we have to go over this now?”

  “Just listen!” he shouts, growing more agitated. He is not fun when he’s drunk. “They bought their spots, therefore they knew about the attacks. They knew it would happen and they didn’t do anything.” I know now that he’s lost it. He doesn’t know anything about any of this. “This is almost done,” he says, rattling the bomb. “We can get our revenge. They’re just as responsible as the ones who detonated the bombs.”

  “He’s insane.” I think.

  “How do you even know that?” I ask.

  “It doesn’t matter! Scarlet, we can do this, together. If you need motivation to help me, now you have it. Now you know just how guilty, they all are. ” He holds the bomb up. I stare at it, searching for a way to say no.

  “Nobody else needs to die.” I reply.

  “They do, they deserve it.”

  “You don’t know that! All of this is some conspiracy you made up. I don’t even know if there is a bunker.”

  “You don’t believe me?” He sounds deranged now, completely out of his mind. He looks bigger. “You know Scarlet, I thought you were like me. I thought you were angry,” He steps towards me, I back up. “I thought you were on my side. We could’ve done this together. But you think I’m crazy? Don’t you?”

  “No. I think you’re drunk.” I say, my voice as steady as I can make it. He backs me to the door. I subtly search for the handle.

  “You just want to spend your time playing fixer upper, you don’t have the guts to actually do anything that matters.” He’s standing over me now, the air in the room grows still as we lock eyes. “This is the only way to stop things from getting worse.” He pleads one last time.

  “Evan, this is insane. There is no bunker, there’s no rich people buying their safety. You made this up.”

  He grabs my wrist again. I won’t flinch. I refuse. I continue to hold his gaze, hoping I look unfazed by him.

  “If you say a word about this to Alec, you’re dead.” He threatens. He releases his grip finally and waves his hand, signaling for me to leave.

  I run.

  * * *

  I wake up from a short nap on the couch. I don’t remember returning to the house. I look around frantically for Evan, fear grips my chest, but slowly releases me as I realize he isn’t here. I sit up and Shark and Ally come to sit by me.

  “Have you guys seen Evan?” I ask.

  “Not in a few hours.” Ally replies.

  I sigh in relief, “Good.” I say. Almost positive that he’s gone.

  “Why?” Ally asks.

  “Should I tell them?” I wonder. Evan’s last words echo in my head and as much as I don’t want to be afraid of him, I also don’t want to wind up dead.

  “Scarlet?” Shark places his hand over top of mine. I do my best to hide my surprise as butterflies shove themselves down my throat and into my stomach.

  “No reason.” I force a smile. His eyes follow mine to the light bruising Evan left on my wrist. Anger flashes across his face for half a second.

  “Please don’t ask” I think. His eyes tell me he already knows.

  “He disappears sometimes, only to reappear days later.” Ally tells me. I remember Kat saying something about that the first night I was here.

  “You look exhausted.” Shark changes the subject. His hand still rests on mine. I wonder if he’s even noticed.

  “Sleep hasn’t really been my friend lately.” I reply, rubbing my eyes.

  “We should let you go back to sleep.” Ally says, standing up and leaving me alone with Shark. He begins to get up, but I stop him.

  “Can you stay there actually?” I ask. I’m still shaken up from the Evan stuff and I don’t want to be left alone. He gives me a curious look, or maybe judgmental? I can’t tell. “Just till I fall asleep.” I say. He probably thinks I’m nuts.

  He nods and sits back down. We exchange a smile before I curl myself up into a ball and slowly fall asleep.

  I wake up for the second time to the sound of Ally setting the table for dinner. I look to see Shark still sitting at the end of the couch. I smile to myself.

  “Evening.” Ally greets me, peering into the room from the dining room.

  “Hey,” I say as I sit up. “What’s up with him?” I ask, noticing that Evan is passed out on the floor. A short flash of my recent encounter with Evan plays through my head as my eyes find their way to my wrist again. I’m even more relieved that Shark stayed now.

  “He refuses to tell me where he’s been so I thought a nice nap would help jog his memory.” Alec chuckles and cracks his knuckles.

  “You didn’t.” I giggle a little.

  “No, I didn’t.” He smiles. “Evan came in drunk, he passed out there before I could ask him where he’s been.”

  “Drunk?” I repeat, pretending to not know.

  “We need to find out where he keeps disappearing to.” Ally says. Everyone nods. I consider telling them again, I should tell them, but it scares me.

  “Are you hungry?” Ally asks me.

  I shake my head, “Actually, I don’t feel well,” I reply. The stress of the day seems to have stolen my appetite.

  “Oh? What’s wrong?”

  “It’s not bad or anything. I just feel a bit sick is all.”

  “Maybe you’re dehydrated,” she replies. “Let me get you some water.” I watch as she pours water out of a pitcher into a glass and brings it to me. I take a small sip, it does feel good on my throat.

  “I think you’re still tired. You haven’t been sleeping well.” Alec says.

  “I’ve been sleeping enough.”

  “We’re worried about you. You probably didn’t sleep well out there before we brought you here and you’ve been working nonstop the past few weeks.” Ally says.

  “Ally’s worried about you.” Alec clarifies.

  “I appreciate it, but I’m fine.” I say. “I just took two naps.”

  “Alright…” Alec shrugs, probably tired of hearing my voice.

  After dinner everybody goes to bed early, but I stay in the living room. Suddenly I hear knocking on the front door.

  “Who’s
there?” I shout through the door.

  “It’s Kevin.” I hear him call from the other side. Excitedly, I open the door.

  “You’re back!” I say as the door swings open. I hug Kevin. I look at the two new people that are with them. They found someone.

  “Ally’s upstairs sleeping. Should I go get her?” I ask Kat.

  “I’d say let her sleep, but I’ve been dying to see her.” Kat replies. “I’ll go.”

  She rushes up the stairs, but pauses halfway, “Looks like we missed a lot.” She scans the stairs and the floor.

  “I’ll explain in the morning.” I say. She nods and continues up the stairs. I can hear the two girls squeal with delight. I look at Kevin, I don’t recognize his expression as his eyes follow Kat up the stairs.

  “Scarlet this is Reese,” he says, pointing to a short brunette girl. I smile at her but she turns away, “and this is Ty,” He gestures to a tall, skinny boy.

  “Hi,” Ty says, extending his hand to me, he seems friendly.

  “I’m Scarlet.” I say to both of them. “You must be exhausted, why don’t you go get some rest and we’ll catch up in the morning?” I offer. I smile at Kevin, glad that their mission seems successful.

  “Sounds good to me.” Kevin says. He explains to our newest guests where we sleep and sends them off alone. “It’s great to see you.” He smiles, but his expression quickly becomes serious.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask.

  “It’s Kat, some stuff happened.” he says. “She had some kind of mental breakdown.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t know, the night we left it was like something shifted. She was distant. Then…she wouldn’t like it if I told you.” He stops to think. “Scarlet I don’t know what to do. She barely talked the whole way home.”

  “Well, maybe she was just focused or tired.” I suggest.