HOLDING ON

by KIKI MALONE

  Like hell, he’ll become my girls’ favorite person. They’ll all always be Daddy’s girls if I have anything to say about it.

  “Not happening, dude. You’ll never be the light their daddy is. However, if you insist on paying for her training, you’re more than welcome.” I know he’d really do it if I let him.

  Mikael gives me a look and then just shrugs his shoulders.

  I’d never make him pay for anything for my girls and he knows it. But I had to agree just to see if he’d take the bait.

  I head off to the backstage area so I can speak to their instructor and so I can retrieve my girls.

  “Miss Jenny,” I say as I lightly touch her arm to get her attention.

  “Oh, Mr. Montgomery, did you see how beautiful your girls were tonight. Did you see Isabella lead everyone into perfection? That girl, I’m telling you Mr. Montgomery, she has it. She really has it.”

  “I know,” I reply. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I think you are right, and I am holding Isabella back. I’d like for you to go ahead and advance her. I’ll explain it to all the girls later, but please, plan on Isabella being in the advanced class from here on out.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Montgomery. I’m excited to get to work with her more. She’s gonna be a damn fine ballerina one day, take my word for it.”

  “Thank you. Now, let me go find the girls.”

  I walk away, looking at all the adorable little faces just chattering on and on. These little girls love what they do, and they look so cute doing it. I turn my head and spot my girls. They are talking to each other and laughing. My girls are always laughing about something.

  “What’s so funny?” I ask from behind them, startling them.

  “Daddy,” all three yell and jump up to get in my arms.

  Good thing they are still little, and I can still carry all three at one time. I pick them all up and give each girl a nuzzle.

  “You girls were beautiful out there tonight,” I tell them excitedly.

  “Especially Isabella!” Sofia exclaims.

  “Yes, Isabella was the star!” shouts Felicia.

  Wow, even my girls recognize how good their sister is. They are very excited for her. And here I thought they’d be upset they’re not at her level.

  I put all three of them down and look into their adorable faces.

  “Isabella,” I start, “what do you think about starting advanced classes? Miss Jenny thinks you should be doing more and after what Daddy saw tonight, I have to agree. So, would you be you okay not dancing with your sisters anymore?”

  Isabella looks very thoughtful as she processes what I’m saying to her. Instead of answering me, she looks to her sisters. Her thoughtfulness is astounding. She’s studying their faces for disappointment, but that’s not what she gets. Both Felicia and Sofia are nodding their heads at her excitedly.

  “Do it,” they both yell to encourage her.

  “Okay, Daddy,” she finally answers. “I’ll do it.”

  All three of the girls start jumping up and down in each other’s arms. I love their support of one another.

  “I don’t wanna dance anymore.” I suddenly hear one of my girls say softly. It’s Sofia, and this is a big surprise to me. I thought she loved it.

  I bend down again and grab my baby.

  “What’s wrong baby girl? Are you upset Isabella isn’t going to dance with you anymore? Why don’t you want to dance anymore? I thought you loved dancing.”

  “No, Daddy, I still want to learn. I like to dance but I don’t want to do it all the time. Can’t I just dance when I want to?” Sofia, my little adult at the age of three.

  “Of course you can, baby girl,” I reply and then turn to Felicia. “What about you, princess, do you still want to dance?”

  “Yes, Daddy. But I don’t want to be a ballerina like Isabella. I want to dance like thems.” She points to the hip hop girls in the corner. It doesn’t surprise me. She’s always changing the music at home to something more upbeat.

  “You can do whatever you want,” I reply to not only Felicia, but to all three of them.

  “Let’s get out of here; I hear Uncle Mik wants to buy us dinner.”

  “Yay!” all three yell and run off in Mikael’s direction.

  On my way out, I see Miss Jenny and decide to let her know what’s going on. I explain that Isabella has agreed to move up. I also inform her that Felicia wants to change classes and Sofia won’t be dancing anymore.

  I can’t believe my girls are already separating themselves from each other. They probably don’t even realize this will cause them to spend less time together. If they change their minds and all want to be together again, I’ll do everything I can to make it happen.

  By the time we make it home, the girls are beyond tired. I quickly give them a bath and put them to bed. The great thing about them being triplets is I can just throw the three of them in the tub at once. People may think it’s hard getting three girls bathed and to bed, but it’s a pretty easy task for me.

  Once I tuck the girls in for the night, I head back downstairs to the kitchen. After the day we’ve all had, I need a drink. I don’t imbibe too much. I have my children who only have me to depend on, but some nights I need a little bourbon to relax me.

  I take the bottle down from the cabinet above the fridge and pour myself three fingers. I look at the bottle, longingly, as I wish I could just drink until I stop thinking.

  I can’t get that woman out of my damn mind. The image of her smiling has been playing on repeat in my head. When she bent over the front of my SUV, and when she hugged and kissed my girls goodbye like she’s known them all their lives.

  I bet that woman is going to be a great mom. The kind of mom I wish my girls had sometimes. I wonder if she’s single. I didn’t notice a ring on her finger, trust me, I looked. Although some men don’t care if there’s a ring, I’m not one of them. I won’t be the cause of someone else’s heartache.

  It took a long time for me to stop hurting after learning the truth about Maggie. I don’t think my heart will ever fully heal and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust another woman, either.

  It’s been almost five years since I’ve been with a woman. I plain old gave up even trying. Sure, I probably could’ve gone out there and had a one-night stand or a dozen, but I never felt the need after being hurt so deeply.

  I think Elizabeth could be a game changer. I can see myself making love to her for hours. The problem is I’m sure one time wouldn’t be enough with a woman like her. I’d be hooked the first time and want to go back for seconds, thirds, hundreds. Too bad, I’m not willing to open myself up to something like that again. I have my girls to think about and there’s no way in hell I’ll bring another woman around them.

  I look down at the card in my hand. I hadn’t even realized I pulled it out of my pocket and wonder what Elizabeth is doing now. Is she thinking of me like I’m thinking of her? Was she able to walk away and not look back?

  I go to take a sip of my drink and look at the glass in bewilderment. I didn’t even taste the first sip, never mind realize that I drank the whole thing. Reluctantly, I put the glass in the sink and decide to head to bed. Tomorrow is another day and I have to find out what’s going on with my car.

  I guess I’m going into the office to work tomorrow. The girls will enjoy that. They haven’t been there in quite a while, since I moved my office to the house. But they do love going there and playing in the daycare whenever I don’t have a choice but to be there. It’ll be easier working in the city, since I have access to the daycare, so I’ll be able to either get my car or a rental, rather than have to go back and forth, between there and home and not have to drag the girls all around with me.

  I grab my phone and put an order in with the car service to pick me and the girls up in the morning. They’ll have car seats available for the girls since theirs are in the SUV and I didn’t think to ask Mikael to borrow his. It’ll be safer than calling a cab.
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  With everything taken care of for tomorrow, I put my phone on my charger and head to my bedroom. I guess I’ll get to bed, tomorrow is already looking like it’s going to be another long day.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CARTER

  RESTLESS NIGHTS AND NIGHTMARES COME TO LIFE

  SLEEP DIDN’T COME easy last night. I spent most of the night tossing and turning, trying to get the images my mind was conjuring up of Elizabeth out of my head.

  My imagination was sure getting the best of me and I had to keep forcing myself awake to get rid of those thoughts. It’s been ages since I’ve been intimate with a woman, but the things that were happening in my dreams last night make me believe that I’d never been out of practice. Who knows? Maybe when they say it’s like riding a bike, they’re right. I know one thing for sure, if I ever get my hands on that woman… I won’t last long. At least not the first time. Being celibate for so long will cause my stamina to be nil.

  Deciding I can’t let these thoughts linger, I get out of bed and head for the shower. I have to work out this fucking hard on I just gave myself again. I swear my hand and cock have become very well acquainted these last twenty-four hours.

  Shower done and a tiny bit satisfied, I head downstairs to get some coffee and to start breakfast for my girls.

  Freyda taught me early in the girls lives that breakfast was the most important meal of the day. I missed making them breakfast one day and boy were those three cranky for the rest of the day. Freyda also convinced me that making my girls a homemade breakfast was also very important. It keeps routine for them and keeps them healthy. The one day I forgot breakfast, I gave them cereal instead. Again, it was not a good day, to say the least.

  Looking through the pantry, I decide waffles and breakfast sausage will be a good start today. I grab all the ingredients I need from the pantry, the sausage from the freezer and get to work.

  No sooner do I grab the last waffle out of the waffle iron, then I hear the girls chuckling upstairs. Taking the steps, two at a time, I head straight to their room. The girls are sitting on the floor together playing with their dolls. They are so incredibly adorable right now.

  I’m so blessed with these three; I don’t know what I’d do without them in my life. They hardly ever give me a hard time, well, except when I forget to feed them a wholesome, homemade breakfast. That won’t ever happen again.

  Felicia notices me standing by the door first and jumps up and runs straight for me. I lean down and snatch her up in my arms and begin tickling and kissing her all over. She laughs and laughs. Soon, the other two are trying to tackle me to the floor to save their sister. I oblige, of course, and pretend to fall to the floor where all three try to tickle me. I smother them all with kisses and hugs and tickles. This, right here, is what life is all about. It’s the happiness on my girls’ faces; it’s the love they give to me and each other so freely.

  Knowing that I can’t be too long, I scoop all three up in my arms and head down to the kitchen to feed them. When the girls see that I made them waffles, they get so excited I feel like I’m going to drop them. I gently put each of them in their seats at the table and serve them up their food. While they eat, I cut up some fresh fruit for them since I know I have to give them a little healthy snack on top of the meal I made them.

  After breakfast, I call the Audi dealership to find out about my car. I’m very confused when they say they never received it. Elizabeth told me she was bringing it there right after she was done with what she needed to do for the day. I’m going to have to search for that card she gave me yesterday and find out where my car is.

  With that thought, I get the girls ready and head into the office.

  I GET to the office with the girls and they are so excited to be able to go to the daycare and play. The workers I’ve hired love when the girls come to see them. Everyone here loves my girls.

  I head towards my office but stop to see Mikael first. I need to talk to him and let him know we’ll be here for the day.

  “Hey, bro,” I say as I open his door. He’s on the phone but as soon as he sees me, he tells whomever he’s talking to that he’ll call them back.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to the office?” he asks as he’s putting the phone back on the cradle.

  “I called the car service because of the girls,” I begin. “I forgot to ask you to leave me their seats, so I had to call the service to come get us. I didn’t want to bother you again today after all you did for us yesterday.”

  “Bullshit.” He’s not happy and it shows. “You know those are my girls as much as they are yours. Don’t fill me with that crap.”

  “I have too much to do today and have to get my car back. I just didn’t want to be a bother to anyone,” I respond, honestly.

  He seems to believe me this time and sits back in his chair.

  “Listen,” I say, “I need to find out where my car is. I may need to leave here for a little while. You know I hate to leave my girls at any time but I don’t think I should drag them around with me today. Would you mind keeping your eye on them until I get everything figured out?”

  Mikael really is the only person besides myself I’d ever trust with my girls. I may have the daycare center here but I’ve always been onsite. If there was ever an emergency, I would never leave unless I knew Mikael was in the building. His security firm is run out of my building and neither he nor I would ever think of moving it anywhere else.

  “You don’t even have to ask,” he answers. And I know he means that. They really are his girls too.

  I head to my office, so I can call Elizabeth to find out what happened with my car.

  I work for a little while, so I can get my head together before I decide to head to the address Elizabeth gave me to pick up my car.

  Apparently, she decided it was best to fix my car herself, instead of me paying the dealership to fix an issue I should’ve never had in the first place.

  There was a recall the dealership should have caught the last time they had my car. It was a faulty part which caused it to stop running. She told me that with my last maintenance check, they had that information on hand and should have taken action to correct the issue. She was quite upset it wasn’t done and decided to take on the task herself. Free of cost, she said. So she thinks. There’s no way I won’t pay her for going above and beyond.

  Her claims that it was for my girls and that she didn’t want to have to see me in that situation again made my heart a little softer where she was concerned. The more I try to get her out of my head, the harder she becomes embedded in it. I can’t take chances on someone coming into my life. I have to quickly get my car so I can get her out of my life as abruptly as she appeared.

  Instead of heading right over, I decide to use my ensuite bathroom to take care of a pressing matter that was affecting the front of my trousers. I haven’t had to jack off this much since Maggie was pregnant with the girls. My dick hasn’t been satisfied with just my hand ever since Elizabeth showed up to help me and the girls. He’ll have to deal with it, however, because I don’t plan on ever letting a woman in my life or bed again.

  Before I take leave, I stop in the daycare to see the girls. They are always my first priority and I want to make sure they are not driving the daycare personnel crazy. The three of them can be a handful if you’re not prepared. I’ve already called for a car and I’m sure they are waiting outside, but I pay them enough, they can wait for me. If they want to complain or leave, then that will be the last time I use this service. The girls look like they are having a blast, so instead of interrupting them, I just observe them for a moment and head out.

  As suspected, there’s a car idling at the curb. As soon as the driver sees me come out of the building, he rushes to the back and opens my door. He doesn’t ask any questions as I’ve already given his company all the information they need to get me where I’m going. I sit in the back seat, contemplating things I shouldn’t be.

  I won
der what it would be like to have a woman like Elizabeth in my life. I could see so much potential in her. She’s already shown more care for the girls in the five minutes she’s known them than their mother ever did. No doubt in my mind she would make an amazing mother. I briefly wonder if she’d be open to becoming the girls’ mother, then chide myself for letting my thoughts head in that direction.

  I don’t realize how much time has passed, but next thing I know, we’re pulling up to a garage. I see my SUV inside one of the bays and wonder if I came here too early. Although Elizabeth told me on the phone the car was done already, I wonder if she thought I was coming later and had to scramble to complete the job.

  Entering the front of the bay, I don’t see anyone around. I hear some laughter coming from somewhere in the back and head that way. I know normally you shouldn’t enter a garage because of liability issues, but I ignore that thought.

  The laughter gets louder as I approach what looks to be an office. One of the voices I’m sure is hers, but I don’t know the other.

  Peeking into the office, I see Elizabeth behind the desk and another female standing behind her looking at a computer. She takes my breath away the moment my eyes land on her. That smudge of grease on her face makes her more attractive to me than when she was all dressed up the other day. I’ve never found women like her attractive before, but right now, my dick is telling me he needs more action.

  Ignoring him, as I have been, I lightly knock on the door. Both women jump when they hear me, and it looks like Elizabeth is scrambling to turn off her monitor. Hmm…I’m curious now to know what they were looking at.

  “Hello, Elizabeth,” I say with a smile.

  “Hello, Carter,” she replies. “I wasn’t expecting you until later, I’m sorry. Angie, this is the gentleman I was telling you about who has those three precious girls. Carter, this is my best friend Angela. She’s the mom of my amazing nephew who blew the roof of the concert hall I was heading to yesterday, before I got the call to tow you.”