Death's Life

by B Latif

  I didn’t want to have any signs of submission or sadness on my face. Peering in the stream, I smiled. But it vanished.

  There was no me in the stream.

  She was right, wasn’t she? I had no reflection. Trying to hide my sadness, I traveled to the place I knew Rose would be. Near or far, where she went, her aura attracted me like a magnet.

  There she was, I watched through the window, her side view. Fear was written on her face like a book, I couldn’t move. Seeing her gave me such warmth that suddenly her happiness mattered most.

  Not mine.

  The first thing Rose learned after going to the human world was lying.

  OBSERVATION No. 30

  Every child learns to speak a lie before learning the truth about the Universe.

  How strange that humans don’t recognize the truth even if they see it every day?

  Standing there, I stared at her, as the fear in her mind spoke to the person in the room.

  “Henry, I was there. she was there with me. why don’ you understand? My mother was also there!”

  The tall man pacing in the room didn’t look at her. Holding the arms of the chair, Rose fidgeted and continued, “I have lived with her for years! As long as I can remember!”

  Oh, you can remember that you lived with me. Why can’t you remember how we lived together?

  As the cold wind blew my gown, her words gave me chills.

  “I remember everything. I remember she answered my every question. I remember… she always placed a rose by my side when I slept… so that when I woke up, I would remember her.” For a moment, she was dazed, and I looked at her with hopeful eyes.

  Please remember how it was when you made me laugh for the first time. You were six, we went to the riverside and you asked me what it was.

  “That’s called the beach, Rose. We are on a beach.”

  “Yayyyy, me and Mama are bitch!”

  A smile tried to make its way to my lips but…

  “I remember the beach, and I also remember she had no reflection there either.”

  I closed my eyes. She remembered, didn’t she? Another gust of wind hit me hard like a cannon ball.

  “And I remember when I ran away from my shadow.”

  And I had run after her, to tell her that it was okay. That the shadow was a part of her like…

  “Rose! That’s a part of you, as you are a part of me.”

  She had smiled and hugged me.

  “And I remember she had no shadow then either. It was okay, it was okay for me. It was still okay…”

  “NO!”

  We froze, mother and daughter, staring at Henry’s notorious expressions.

  “No, Rose. This is not okay!” he had stopped and pulled his brows together.

  OBSERVATION No. 31

  Human beings are cruel when it comes to honesty. It is easier to trust a dishonest man than an honest one, because the honest one will always tell the truth about you. While the dishonest will secure your secrets.

  “I swear…”

  “Stop. Okay? Stop,” he sounded desperate and angry at the same time with his fingers pressing against his temples.

  I wanted to take Rose away from his resentment.

  “Henry, please. Let me explain.”

  His gave her a devious glare to shut her up and she did. Her Bambi eyes had tears now and the chair seemed to be her refuge.

  He walked to her gently, crouching in front of her. He looked up and said in a soft whisper, “Rose. You know this isn’t possible. All humans have reflections and shadows. You must understand this.”

  “No, you have to understand. I lived with her,” her voice was hysterical and loud.

  “God dammit Rose!” his yelling made him stand up again, “I shot an arrow…”

  “And it went straight through her!”

  “No! It struck the trunk. It was to show you that there was nothing. Are you mental?”

  Two streaks of tears were running down her face. She swallowed and whispered, “You think I lived all by myself in the forest?”

  There was silence.

  “I don’t know anything,” his voice was low, but he wasn’t yelling now, “I just know that you ran from there with me. And my parents are coming here tonight to see you. I’ll send in the dressers.”

  “I’ve no answers to his questions,” Rose said clearly when he turned to leave.

  “Just tell him that you went home but your mother had already died from a heart attack. So, you know nothing.”

  Dumfounded, Rose stared at him with a frown.

  “But… that’s not… not…”

  “True,” Henry supplied, “Yes. But you can’t tell them what you told me. Nobody will believe you.”

  Rose suddenly fired a question at him, “Do you?”

  Henry raised his eyebrow.

  “Do you believe me?” she asked, and then there was silence from his side.

  It seemed the earth would disappear from beneath her feet at his answer, “No.”

  She blinked and heavy tears fell, and wiping them away, she said, “Then I won’t lie.”

  “Then I’ll leave you where you belong,” he grabbed her wrist like a cat claws a mouse, stomping to the door.

  And this time, the earth disappeared from under my feet at her answer.

  “I will lie! I don’t want to go back!”

  I blinked, but no heavy tears fell, there was no need to wipe away anything. The world became still. Rose…

  Rose didn’t want to come back?

  Cupping his hands on her cheeks, Henry kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around her, “This is for us, Rose. Get ready.”

  He left.

  Rose dropped back on the chair. I sprawled on the hard rooftop. The words I had prepared to tell her started fading away… like someone had poured water on the newly written, inky words.

  Oh, you cruel wind, stop hitting me, stop whistling at me, stop mocking me.

  I can’t feel you.

  I can just hear the flowers, the birds, the wind, the leaves, all laughing at me.

  Desperation made me take my head in my hands.

  Don’t. Please don’t lie.

  I remained sitting there for what seemed like thousands of years. More than I have lived.

  I will lie! I don’t want to go back. Don’t want to go back… don’t want to go back…

  She didn’t want to go back to the person who was the pulse beneath her skin? How could she?

  That flower. That poor flower given birth by an unwanted plant was isolated among the leaves. There was no sun, no water, and the plant had begun to turn dry.

  The wind rescued the flower, blew it away from the dead plant to sow it somewhere in a forest, among other flowers like her.

  And… one day… when the wind returned, the flower turned its face away towards the sun.

  Was it resentful of the wind that had brought moisture and light rays to it?

  I closed my eyes.

  The moment I got up I saw her again as if my eyes were hooked on her.

  She was still like a rose, when there is no wind around to make it dance. And her cheeks were still wet as if there was no sun around to dry the dew on the flower.

  Without blinking, I stared at her as if she were the only human left on earth.

  When the dressers came in, they styled her hair and did her make-up, and brought her a blue gown. But nothing mattered to either of us.

  The last member was Henry. No praising, no cajoling, no beguiling. Just a hand to guide her to the new world she had chosen for herself.

  Once, she had held my hand to guide her to the path of light.

  The dining room was dark, and Henry’s parents were already seated there.

  “Sorry for the delay, Dad,” Henry said offering a chair to Rose. She sat there without looking at any of them.

  Candles were everywhere. She stared at one of them. And she knew very well that candles set things on fire. I had taught her that.

&nb
sp; Standing there in the darkest corner of the room so that even Rose couldn’t see me, I gazed at her lost face.

  When Henry had also settled, hiding his eyes, Mr. Cavills cleared his throat after a minute.

  “Shall we begin?”

  Henry said without looking at him, “Sure.”

  “But I thought her mother would be joining us tonight?”

  “Uh…” there was a heavy silence. As he stared at Henry for an answer, Rose sat there like a tailor’s dummy.

  “Uh… well… umm,” Henry stammered as if lying was a new experience for him, “she… she couldn’t come.”

  “Why?” Mrs. Fernando exchanged a look with her husband.

  “Because… because,” Henry was gulping repeatedly. It was so hard for him to lie to his parents, “Because… D-dad…”

  “Because she is dead.”

  A long silence followed her clear announcement. It seemed she had no trouble lying, as if she had been practicing it, as if her whole life had been a lie.

  Except she didn’t raise her eyes.

  This was the first sin and I could see no shame on her face. Isn’t it miraculous how the world changes humans?

  Everyone, including me, stared at the girl in blue.

  “Oh dear,” Mrs. Cavills murmured, “I’m so sorry to hear that.”

  And she put her hand on Rose’s for a moment, but Rose flinched at the touch. Just for a second, she opened her eyes, but the veil of lashes quickly hid them again.

  Funny, Death is dead.

  As they ate their dinner Mr. Cavills bombarded her with questions that sounded like accusations again.

  “So. When did she die?”

  Rose didn’t answer, Henry did, “Three days ago.”

  “That surprises me. I mean, Miss Rose came here only three days after her mother’s death.”

  “Dad!” Henry clenched his teeth and gripped the fork in his hand tightly.

  “How did she die?” he ignored his son.

  Rose remained silent. She knew only of one way that killed living things; Henry’s arrows.

  “Heart attack,” Henry blurted out, “we found her in the kitchen, but before we could take her to the hospital, she was dead.”

  There was still no sympathy on Mr. Cavills’ face, and he simply carried on as if he were an investigator.

  “What about your father, Miss Rose? I’m sure you asked your mother about him?”

  Rose looked at Henry for help again.

  “He also died when she was little…”

  “I’m asking her. Stop answering for her.”

  There was a moment of expectation of an answer from her, but she said nothing. Henry tried again, “Dad, she is already upset.”

  “Henry, let her answer.”

  “You’re bothering her.”

  “I’m just asking a question.”

  “But Dad…”

  “He disappeared.”

  Again, everyone stared at her. it was the second lie. She licked her lips, “He… umm… Mama said one day she came home, and he wasn’t there… so she assumed he had died.”

  “And what was his name?” Mr. Cavills dropped his fork on his plate.

  “Daniel.”

  Even I could hear her heart pounding in every part of her body. I remembered it was Henry’s friend’s name. Maybe his father sensed something suspicious was going on. He frowned.

  “Miss Rose,” he paused, “please give me your address.”

  Henry’s jaw clenched again. Perhaps he knew that Rose wouldn’t be able to answer the question. She had no idea what ‘address’ meant.

  She opened her mouth but closed it again. She was ashamed of herself and couldn’t construct a lie this time.

  Mr. Cavills’ stern voice made everyone speechless. He said something in Portuguese, I was unable to understand. Henry’s eyes followed his parents as they left the room.

  Rose was utterly confused, and Henry seemed disappointed.

  “Henry,” she dared, “what did he say?”

  Finally, Henry drew his brows together and closed his mouth.

  “He… he said…” Henry looked at her with pity in his eyes, “Send her home.”

  The candles made her eyes flicker and she held his hand in trepidation.

  “I don’t have a home. Where will I go?” and she burst into tears.

  Henry cupped his hands on her cheeks and calmed her.

  “Hey. Hey, Rose,” he wiped the tears from her face, “I’m not sending you home, okay? I love you. I’ll talk to him. I’m sure he will listen to me.”

  Rose nodded as Henry kissed her forehead.

  “Now, go to your room. Everything will be alright, get some sleep.”

  Again, she gave a nod and got up to leave. As she reached the door, Henry called her again.

  “Rose?”

  She looked back, her face clear of tears now.

  “Look, I’m sorry I was hard on you.”

  She smiled, accepting his apology and left.

  I left too.

  ***

  “Dad, I need to talk to you.”

  Mr. Cavills looked up, he didn’t drop his pen and continued scrutinizing the documents.

  “If it’s about the girl, I think I told you earlier…”

  “No. I told you clearly that I’ll only marry her!”

  “Then don’t marry anyone, Son.”

  Henry stared at his father. Could it be that his father showed no concern and seemed more interested in the documents than his own son?

  I waited for an answer, sitting on the gable. I could see everything from the small window there.

  “Alright, I don’t need your blessing then.”

  Like father, like son. He was going to elope.

  He finally looked up from his documents, “You are going to marry a girl,” he paused, and his voice grew louder with every word he spoke, “who has no idea who her father is. Who says her mother is her own age and who doesn’t know her address!”

  “Yes.”

  There was a long pause.

  Chapter 15

  OBSERVATION No. 32

  One type of ignorance is to indulge yourself in an argument knowing that you’ll be neither convinced nor convincing.

  “Tell me about her religion.”

  “What does that have to do with marriage?”

  “You are the only son of the president of Brazil. It has everything to do with it.”

  “Dad!” his voice was louder, “Stop treating me like that. It’s not politics, it’s my life that we’re discussing.”

  Things were heating up.

  “Tell me about her education.”

  Henry sighed, “She is more educated then you at least.”

  The satire was turning into hate now. I thought the tussle would never end, but it did. Quite unexpectedly.

  “Henry Cavills! I will disown you if you marry that girl!”

  After the loud and clear words, the silence seemed eerie. I frowned when the answer came, as it made his father shudder. It seemed that Henry would do whatever it took to marry Rose.

  “I wish you had done this years ago.”

  ***

  Rose had lost her mother, now she was losing her honesty.

  I had to stop her. No matter how heavy the grief was, I had to stop her.

  So, I tried.

  While Henry was preparing to leave his father’s mansion, I decided to convince Rose to come home. She could marry anyone, just come back.

  Henry hadn’t told her anything. She was alone in her room. I dared myself to enter. The door creaked open and I stepped in.

  “Rose.”

  How hard it was to say her name, only I knew that. I had promised Aisha all those years ago that I would take care of her. I had to keep my promise.

  Alerted by the sound of her name, she looked at me and terror appeared on her face again.

  I had a vague hope that she would hug me. How unacceptable that was to me.

  Now I think what a terrib
le mistake it was to meet her.

  “What are you doing here?” her whisper was barely audible, “I saw you were… dead. Henry killed you. I saw…”

  “And you are going to marry a killer,” I answered, “A man who killed your mother.”

  Out of nowhere, Rose burst into vociferous crying and I was puzzled.

  “You’re not there,” she whispered to herself, “I’m mad! This is impossible!”

  “Rose,” I tried, “Come back home. Please.”

  “I HAVE NO HOME!” She wept and dropped on the carpet.

  “You are my daughter,” it hurt me, as if another Death was taking my life, “You have a home… where you planted your roses. They miss you. I miss you, Rose.”

  “LEAVE ME ALONE!” She sobbed.

  I went to her and tried to place my hand on her shoulder, but she flinched away.

  “Your roses are turning yellow.”

  “I DON’T CARE!”

  She started screaming.

  I was speechless by her reaction. I had never expected she would behave like this. Hearing her yelling, the sound of footsteps began to come toward the room.

  I got up quickly. With one last look at her, I left. I was wrong.

  My Rose was turning yellow.

  How odd it is, humans sow a seed, watch it grow, and when the right time comes for the seed to return the favor, it betrays them.

  It begins to turn yellow.

  “Rose! Rose? Are you okay?” Henry held her in his arms.

  “My mother…” Rose was shivering with fright, “She was here.”

  Henry stared at her. Then he looked back at his parents who were staring at Rose.

  “What did she want?” he asked.

  “For me to come back home,” she sniffed in his jacket, an inexplicable feeling in her heart.

  “Huh,” a sarcastic remark came from Mr. Cavills, “I thought her mother was dead. This girl is mental.”

  Angrily, Henry got up and faced his father like a foe, “She is,” I knew he would say mental, but his words were different, “mental. So what?”

  His parents exchanged looks, shocked. Rose, still crying, looked at Henry with hurt filled eyes. He also thought she was mental.

  Rose was mental. But… his next words were…

  “She is mental, Dad. She is. I know it. You know it. But nothing will ever,” he said through gritted teeth, “ever stop me from marrying her. Because this mental girl isn’t a human, she is an angel. And I love her more than I could ever love anyone else. She taught me things you can’t imagine. She is my life, and I am going to live my life with her.”