Bittersweet Moments

by Bowie, Emily

  My cock gets another tease from her as she bucks right into it, her whole body moving to my rhythm. I don’t think I can wait too much longer before I finally succumb to being inside her. I need the reminder of how her pussy clamps onto my dick like she is my perfect fit.

  Inching down her body, I worship her with each kiss till my nose reaches her small triangle of pubic hair. As my fingers fuck her, I allow myself a taste of her sweet pussy. I could eat her for every meal. I give another lick, feeling her clit swell with lust.

  “Fuck me, Brax,” she pleads. I love the way she is breathless and needy. I want her to be delirious in her need for me, so all manners will fly out the window. I want her to act on instinct.

  Moving back up her body, her hands find my cock and pull at it, making me hiss through my teeth. “Again,” I tell her, thrusting into her hand.

  I push a third finger into her pussy, which is already starting to grip me. The realization hits me that I don’t have any condoms in my room. I always keep them hidden in my living room.

  “Fuck the condom, Brax!” she yells, reading my thoughts. I continue to tease her as my fingers stroke the back of her velvet walls. She’s wiggling under my touch, trying to get that release she desperately wants.

  Flipping her over, I place my hand down at her swollen bundle of nerves, so she grinds against it and the bed. My knees knock her legs farther apart as I get a view of her wonderfully round ass and tapered back. My hand focuses on her shapely body before giving her a small tap on the ass. It’s enough that she moves forward, but light enough you can hardly see the pink. This ass is going to be mine one day soon.

  Without warning, I push inside her. My cock welcomes the grip her walls puts on it. My other hand holds onto hers, keeping my angle up as I pump in and out of her, watching how perfect we look together.

  “You are meant for me, Raya.” I mean it in every sense. She squeezes her ass together, making her pussy’s grip iron clad on my cock.

  I plan to have her in every way, including that perfect ass of hers. I’m so close to coming I have to try to think of anything but her and that gorgeous body. The only sounds to be heard are our ragged breaths with each slap of our flesh as we grind out that lightheaded sensation of an orgasm. I love the way her back arches, making me go deeper.

  Needing more contact, I begin to nip and kiss her neck, and that’s all it takes to push her over the edge. She screams out a half moan that sounds more like my name. My cock has never felt this good. I let her thrust back, riding out her orgasm until I can’t hold on any longer. Pulling out, I jerk off onto her back, not wanting to come inside her. At least that’s the excuse I tell myself. It may also be due to the fact I want to mark her in every way, because she is mine.

  *

  My whole body shakes, my muscles wanting to sink down into Brax’s soft bed. He has one hand holding my shoulder, and it’s the only thing holding me up. Looking behind me, I see him jerk off, not even a full tug before he releases himself on the middle of my back. It is one of the most erotic sights I have ever watched. It’s only when his hand leaves my shoulder that my body slumps down into the bed, and I lie there sedated because of my orgasm.

  My head tilts to the side watching Brax leave the room until he comes back with a hot washcloth to clean me up. Once I’m sure I’m clean, I roll over to my back. Everything is finally falling into place. Brax is in my life once again, Madden finally gets to meet his father, and I would be lying if visions of a family didn’t dance around in my head.

  Is it possible I finally get everything I ever wanted?

  Brax’s warm skin touches mine as he lies beside me. I immediately turn into him, loving what this moment seems to mean. A sigh of comfort leaves me.

  My fingers circle around Brax’s hard pec, down to his six pack. “I was thinking, as soon as you talk to Kellen, we could pack up, so you can meet Madden.” My fingers are slow as I wait for his answer.

  “I was thinking the same thing,” he responds immediately, placing a kiss to my hair.

  CHAPTER 27

  I throw a bunch of shit into a duffle bag, wanting to get on the road before Raya has a change of heart. I don’t think she will, but I can see the apprehension on her face each time I talk about meeting Madden. The sooner I meet our son, the faster Raya will see there is nothing to be nervous about. I only want what is best for everyone.

  My skin immediately dampens with the Texas heat when I walk out my front door. Kellen is sitting on our parents’ front porch, looking like he’s put in the effort with his clothes—black golf shorts and a new T-shirt. He’s showered and changed since he barged into my house earlier.

  I see the drapes in front of the window move and figure it must be Ma trying to get another glimpse of Raya while not wanting to make her feel like we’re all suffocating her.

  “What’s up?” I ask, feeling like something is off. “Why are you so fancy?” It’s not like Kellen to dress up, and this here is dressing up for him.

  “That’s the reason I came to your house. The oil surveyors are coming by.” He looks to his phone. “In about fifteen minutes. They want to check out the land again and leave a contract with you. We have forty-eight hours to get our lawyers to look at it and return it if we like the deal.”

  This is what I have been working on for the last year. I have been trying to wine and dine these guys, only for them to dangle what I want in front of me. If we get this, Raya and Madden will never have to think of money ever again. I will have more than enough to give them anything they want. I can keep Raya in the lifestyle her parents gave her. It’s finally happening.

  “You need to get everything organized.” He nods toward me.

  “Did you let Dad know?” I try to keep him in the loop as much as I can, but he just taps me on the shoulder, telling me I’m doing a fine job.

  “Yeah, he went to the gun club. Something about a sale he can’t miss.”

  All of my thoughts swarm in my head like a hive of bees. This is a good thing. Turning around, I want to tell Raya, but I realize I won’t be able to go with her. There always seems to be some sort of catch with these guys, even if they have no control over it.

  Turning again, I look at my brother. “Think we can reschedule?”

  His eyebrows rise in disbelief. I get it. I’ve put this as top priority over everything. It’s completely off character for me to do anything but finish this up.

  “They’re already on their way.” His words are slow and confused about why I would even ask. This is a huge deal to everyone in my family. Just seeing Kellen dressed up proves this.

  Deep down, I knew this couldn’t be rescheduled, but a part of me was hoping otherwise. Heading back to my house, I try to think of how to explain this to Raya.

  Walking in, she’s pacing in my living room, looking rattled. “Brax.” Her voice is an octave higher than normal, the sound of relief hitting her tone hard when she sees me. “Nate just called. Madden fell out of a tree and Nate thinks he may have broken his arm.” I can see the worry and tears in her eyes. “I—we have to leave now.” I watch her pick up my bag, heading for the door.

  I want to be there so badly, but I can’t. I hate that I have to do this. “I don’t think I should go with all of that going on. And…” My words pause, hating what I am doing. She is looking at me in disbelief and confusion. Fuck, this is harder than I thought. “I have a—”

  “You have a thing.” She nods. “I get it.” Her tone is anything but. She’s mad, disappointed, a mixture of “I knew better.”

  My quick strides bring me to her, pulling her in my embrace. “It’s not like that. I’ve been working on a deal for the whole family, one that will set us up. It’s finally happening, but we will only have two days to get it rolled through.”

  I need her to understand I’m doing this for us. It has nothing to do with me not wanting to go. She pulls away looking at me. Her cold hand cups the side of my face. “I’m proud of you, Brax. You need to do this. But I have
to go to my son.”

  The way she tells me Madden is hers guts me. I can’t help but feel like she is slipping through my fingers.

  “Soon as the paperwork is put through, I will be there. I promise. We will be a family.” I feel this passionately, knowing I can make everything work.

  “I know.” Her smile is sad as she walks through my door. “Shay has my address, or I can text it to you later.”

  I’m stuck, rooted in place, feeling like I’m being pulled in two directions, neither of them allowing me to move. It will be okay. This is fixable, I keep telling myself.

  I need this contract to go through. I’ve been anticipating it. If it doesn’t in the next year, all of the expansions I have been doing will be for nothing. I need that money. Not all of it, but the small fraction that will allow me to pay off all our debt.

  Currently, we are operating month to month, with just enough in the account. I’ve stretched ourselves thin by acquiring all of our assets, and it has made us cash poor. I hardly take a salary, willing to put the family business first, knowing it will all be worth it. Anything worth doing always comes with sacrifices. It’s these sacrifices that make earning it so much better. Knowing it’s because of your hard work everything works out.

  It’s so close I can feel it at my fingertips. I am doing it all for the good of the family. This will set us up for generations. This will continue our legacy that my father started for centuries to come.

  What’s two days, when this will provide a lifetime for Raya, Madden, and me? I’m already picturing Madden with his cousins Connor and Mattie running this place when I eventually step down. Being able to give this to them, knowing my work has done well and was worth it, is all I want. That’s all I’ve been after.

  Calming myself, I start to go over everything they may want to talk about, reminding myself of the facts and the negotiation points I have thought up. But each time I try to picture our land, I see Raya’s face.

  Why the fuck am I not walking her to her car? I roll my eyes at myself. I know this inside and out. I could do this in my sleep. Where the hell are my manners?

  I take off running to catch up to her. She hasn’t gone too far. I see her give a small wave to Kellen, who watches with an amused grin on his face.

  “Raya, wait up. Let me walk you to your car.”

  When I do finally reach her, I place my arm around her shoulders. It’s at that moment tires on gravel catch all our attention. A brand-new truck slowly comes down the long driveway. “Looks like you’re needed here.” Her voice is low, almost a whisper.

  “They can wait the two minutes,” I reassure her. I give a wave to the truck as we keep going up the driveway where her car is parked.

  Opening her door, I give her a kiss on the cheek. “Call me when you arrive home.”

  “Good luck today.” Her thumb swipes across my jaw.

  Sounds of vehicle doors slam behind us, Kellen greeting them in the background.

  Then she slips from me, going into her car. I want to say more, but the words never come. Instead, I close her door softly and watch her leave my driveway until the sound of her car is no longer heard. It’s only then I turn around, gearing up for what I hope will be a successful day.

  CHAPTER 28

  My thoughts volley from Madden to Brax. I pray that Madden is all right. I’ve heard of horror stories of broken arms, surgeries needed, infections, all of which put fear in me. It’s not just the health concerns that scare me either. Any trip to a hospital would bring attention to Madden unnecessarily, risking our family’s cover.

  My heart has no recovery time as it bounces to Brax. He’s held himself together pretty well, considering. My heart aches for what I have put him through. Just the thought of it makes my cried-out eyes feel the prickles of tears wanting to escape but not coming. I try not to think any further into the fact that Brax picked his work over meeting his son. I keep telling myself it must have been important; otherwise, Brax would have been here. I know it deep in my soul that he hated he had to say no. I could see it hurt him telling me he wasn’t coming any more.

  My hands shake while I drive down the small back road as I head for the highway. The landscape whizzes by. The peacefulness of its beauty should help lower my heart rate, but I can’t even seem to focus on that. No cars are seen for the miles I see ahead. There have been more tractors driving on the road than cars. A small hill makes me push my gas down, keeping my speed, as my visibility shortens with the hill cutting off the land below it.

  Hitting the peak of the hill, I feel my car lurch forward with the extra gas. I’m speeding by about twenty. I make a conscious effort to slow down, keeping my focus on my speedometer, only to look up and see a deer running across the road.

  My body reacts on instinct, slamming my brakes down. I can hear them grind against each other, my tires squealing in their effort to stop while leaving black marks behind me.

  The smell of rubber and metal grinding fills the space around me as I watch in slow motion the deer jump in front of my car, my front hood missing its ass by a fraction of an inch. It bounces away unaffected, leaving me vibrating in my now stopped car.

  I sit here in the middle of the one lane road, amazed how close I was to hitting the large animal. I force myself to allow the brake pedal up to move to the very edge of the shoulder before placing the car in Park. My legs shake faster than my hands now. In that microsecond when I thought I was about to kill the deer and myself, I only saw my son, making me realize he is my priority.

  I have to take care of Madden first before I can even try to decipher what is happening in Brax’s head. He and I are both grown-ups. If he can’t decide where his priorities are, that’s his own fault. Madden and I have been fine without him. We will continue to be that way no matter the choice he makes. I need to stop worrying about things I have no control over.

  A tap on my window makes me scream, jumping in my seat. Before I turn my head, I hope it’s Brax saying he made a mistake, but it’s a police officer standing outside.

  As I roll down my window, he speaks first. “Are you all right, miss?”

  “Yeah, sorry. I almost hit a deer and am a little shaken up,” I tell him, feeling a little sheepish for my actions.

  “Well, best to be going. This is a dangerous place to stop, making it hard for others to see you.”

  I nod, not realizing this before now.

  “What’s your name, dear?” he asks me, looking like a concerned father.

  “It’s Raya, sir.” I look to his nametag, seeing his name is Officer Rhodes.

  “Where are you headed to? I can drive you there if you feel like you can’t.”

  “I’m just headed home. It’s just over an hour from here. But I think I’m good to go now.” I smile at him, but he doesn’t leave my side. He looks to be debating whether I’m telling the truth or not. “Honest. If I feel like I shouldn’t be going any farther, I’ll turn back toward the Steeles’ ranch.”

  He nods, seeming to accept my answer before taking a step back.

  He never gets back into his cop car. I see him standing outside on his radio, watching my car go down the hill. He’s probably radioing the next town to keep an eye out for my car. I try to stay just below the speed limit, placing my cruise control on, hoping to eliminate any further attention to myself as I drive home.

  *

  As much as I would like to analyze the soft crease on Raya’s forehead, I’m forced to wave over at the two men getting out of their truck in front of me. These men are different from the ones who have been here previously. The other ones were rugged with tech equipment and sample jars. They were more my level.

  These guys look like they stepped off a New York elevator on the wrong floor. Their shoes are polished; I can see the reflection in them a couple of yards away. That won’t last here. Their black trousers already have the marking of dust on the crisp hems. Even their suits look like they were made for them, screaming they it cost a fortune, looking nothing like
the ones my brothers and I all share.

  I can’t see their eyes hiding behind aviators that reflect my image back at me. The one farthest from me seems to be drawn to the ranch around us as he quietly finishes up his conversation on the phone he’s holding to his ear, while the other one nods in my direction.

  “Brax Steele,” I introduce, moving my hand forward to shake.

  “Pleasure.” His voice is tight, and he offers no more of an introduction.

  It’s only when his partner is off the phone that he comes over, introducing themselves. “Howdy,” the one that was on the phone greets. I can’t tell if that’s a sincere howdy or one that slyly tries to mock me. “I’m George, and this is my partner Al.”

  I take it he’s like the good cop in this scenario.

  “Where would you like to get started?” I ask. The air around us seems to be strained, a completely different vibe than I’ve had in the past.

  The one named Al looks around some more. “Was that your sister who just left?”

  I’m caught off guard by the question. “She’s a family friend,” Kellen answers for me, joining our group. “I’m Kellen. I believe I talked to George on the phone a few hours ago.”

  “Nice to finally put faces to the names, boys,” Al replies, still looking to get a lay of the land.

  “How about we walk up the path line we will be using then get to the contract part of this?” George asks.

  “You guys okay to hop on the back of a four-wheeler?” I ask in return, wondering if they have walked a trail line before.

  “Let’s get to it.” They clap their hands, looking like they’re ready.

  Heading down the line, I’m shocked to see these guys seem unfazed that there are bugs and dirt around them and their fancy suits.

  Getting halfway down, we stop and they check a few small burial sites where they have been keeping some of their equipment that took different readings from the ground. Whatever the results, they look quite pleased with them.