Give Me Wings

by Joy Redmond

Lee looked up at Mammaw and said, “Well, we did have a Coke and some cookies when we were goin' to Indianapolis, but we didn’t get a whole lot to eat when we lived with Daddy and Ellie.”

  Carnikko suddenly felt pangs of guilt for eating so well at Miz Mattie’s while her brothers had to live on what they could buy from collecting bottles—which was never quite enough.

  “Well, yer gonna be able to eat yer fill today, kids,” Mammaw said happily. “There’s gonna be plenty of food for everybody.” Turning toward the kitchen, she added, “I’ve got some deviled eggs, biscuits, and molasses ready. That should hold ya till dinnertime.”

  They followed Mammaw into the kitchen, where there was a big table and eight chairs, and the stove and icebox were the right size, too. They washed their hands as Mammaw began piling deviled eggs and biscuits onto plates and pouring molasses into a bowl so they could dunk their biscuits. Once they were all seated, they stuff themselves like a pack of hungry wolves.

  “As soon as you kids are finished eatin', I’m gonna put ya in the tub and scrub ya down,” Mammaw said, shaking her head. “Yer about the filthiest lookin' bunch I ever saw.”

  She looked at Daddy as he sat eating a biscuit he’d just dunked into the molasses. She shook her head again. “You seemed to be every bit as hungry as the children.”

  “I just miss your good cookinꞌ.” Daddy said, and lowered his head.

  “The first one done is the first one to get in the tub,” Mammaw said, turning toward the bathroom, which was just to the left of the kitchen. As she turned on the water and dropped a cake of lye soap into the tub, Carnikko watched Don run to the bathroom, already peeling off his shirt and pants.

  “Throw them filthy rags out in the hall,” Mammaw said. “I’m gonna burn ꞌem.” Then she leaned out the door and shouted, “Ted, call yer sister, June. Tell her to bring some clothes for these kids. She’s got six, so she’s bound to have somethin' that’ll fit. Lord only knows how I’m gonna get the tangles out of Carnikko’s hair. I’ll probably have to cut it.”

  Although she wasn’t done eating, Carnikko covered her head with her arms and shrieked, “Don’t cut my hair, Mammaw!”

  Mammaw walked back into the kitchen. “Child, we’d need a rake to get the tangles out of that mess.”

  As Daddy came back into the kitchen, he said, “June is bringin' clothes for all of ꞌem.”

  Mammaw stood with her feet apart, her hands on her hips, and her shoulders squared. “Did these kids ever have a bath the entire time they were with you?”

  Before Daddy could reply, Lee ran past Mammaw and disappeared into the bathroom. A moment later, Don yelled, “Lee, you get outta here! You’ll get yer turn when I’m done!”

  Mammaw turned and shouted, “Boys, don’t fight! Don, don’t take all day in there, and let the water out when yer done. Lee couldn’t get clean in that filthy water anyway.”

  A few moments later, Don emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a towel.

  Mammaw turned on the tap as Lee stepped out of his dirty clothes. “You’ve only got a few minutes,” she instructed him. “Carnikko still needs a bath and I’ve got to finish dinner before everybody gets here.”

  Mammaw smiled as Lee squealed with joy at a chance to soak in a warm bathtub. She walked back into the kitchen, pulled the oven door open, and basted the turkey while Daddy stood by the back door, looking out the window.

  Without looking at her, he said, “I didn’t realize how dirty they was, and I didn’t know they wasn’t gettin' enough to eat. I done the best I could, I swear.”

  Mammaw walked over and put her arms around him. “I didn’t mean to be so harsh. It’s just that I can’t believe the condition the kids are in. I know ya don’t know how to be a mama. No man does.”

  Daddy didn’t say anything.

  Carnikko pushed her chair away from the table, and said, “Could ya tell Lee to get outta the tub, Mammaw. It’s my turn.”

  “Just hold yer horses,” Mammaw said with a smile. “We gotta drain Lee’s water and run some for you. It’s gonna take awhile.”

  Daddy looked at Carnikko and said softly, “Punkin, let’s go find a comb and let me see if I can get some of the tangles out of yer hair before Mammaw shampoos it. Maybe then she won’t hafta cut it.”

  He led Carnikko into the front bedroom, found a comb on the vanity and sat on the edge of the bed while she sat on the floor, her head between his knees. As he began to work, she grabbed the top of her head and screamed, “Stop, Daddy. That hurts! I’d rather get it cut than have you pull it out by the roots!”

  Daddy made another attempt, trying to be gentle, but it was no use. Finally, Carnikko said, “Just stop yanking on it, Daddy. Yer just gonna have to cut it!”

  “I don’t think we got a choice, Punkin.” He pulled out the top drawer of the vanity and found a pair of scissors. “Sit still and don’t move till I get all the way around yer head.”

  Carnikko grimaced in anticipation. She just knew she was going to have to hide in a closet until her hair grew back out.

  Just before Daddy began to cut, Mammaw walked into the bedroom and shouted, “Oh, my stars! You can’t cut her hair with them dull things. Let me get the ones from my sewin' basket.”

  A few moments later, she returned with another pair of scissors. “I used to cut all my girls’ hair, so let me do it.” She replaced Daddy on the edge of the bed and said, “Hold still, child, and don’t be jumpin' around.”

  It was a long, hard struggle, but Mammaw finally announced, “Well, that’s the best we can do for now.”

  Carnikko slowly turned and braved a look in the mirror. To her delight, her hair wasn’t nearly as short as she was afraid it would be.

  Mammaw smiled and said, “After ya shampoo it, we’ll take another look at it. For now, let’s just get ya in the tub.”

  As she walked out of the bedroom with Mammaw, Carnikko looked back at Daddy and saw him pick up one of her curls and coil it around his index finger. Then he pulled his wallet from his back pocket and tucked the curl into one of the plastic picture holders.

  Mammaw wrapped a towel around Lee, told him to go sit by the fireplace with Don, and she drained the bath water. Carnikko threw her dirty dress out into the hallway as Mammaw drew fresh water for her. “I’m gonna soak for a long time, Mammaw. I think it’ll take about an hour for all the dirt to come off me.”

  Mammaw and Carnikko were talking. The boys were in the front room. Daddy was still in the front bedroom, and nobody heard Pappaw pull his old pickup full of logs into the backyard. He came through the back door, and said, “Halley, I see Ted’s car outside. Where is that boy? He better have brought them kids back with him!”

  Daddy walked into the kitchen “Hi, Pappaw. I brought the kids back. I was a goshdang fool for takin' them in the first place. Mammaw is mad at me, so I reckon ya got the right to be mad too. Just go on and give it to me. I got it comin'.”

  Pappaw shook his head and said, “Well, son, if I know Mammaw, she’s done give ya what ya got comin'. And it appears ya done beat yerself up too. So I say that’s good enough. I’m just glad ya come to yer senses. Where’s them youngens?”

  The boys came running into the kitchen, yelling, “Pappaw!” and hugged him.

  Pappaw wiped his eyes with one hand and hugged the boys with the other one. “It sure is good to see you kids again. Where’s yer sister?”

  Just as he finished his sentence, Mammaw walked into the kitchen. “Well, Rubin, do ya believe yer son brought the kids back for Christmas?” she said with a smile, then kissed his cheek.

  Carnikko yelled from the bathroom. “Mammaw, I’m ready to get my hair shampooed. Hurry up. I gotta be pretty before everybody gets here.”

  “Comin',” Mammaw yelled back. “Rubin, get them boys back in there by the fire until June gets here with some clothes. Ted, you make sure all that hair is cleaned up.”

  Pappaw and Daddy laughed, then did as they were told. Nobody disobeyed Mammaw.

  The children
were all bathed by the time Aunt June arrived with clean clothes. Mammaw combed the boys’ hair, parting it on the right and pushing it into a wave on the left. Then she clasped a pretty barrette into Carnikko’s hair.

  When she was finished, she patted their cheeks and said, “Now y'all look presentable.”

  Soon the family began to arrive. Each family member made a fuss over the children, hugging them and saying how much they’d missed them.

  Carnikko let them know that she could now do anything she wanted to, since her legs were totally healed. She jumped up and down, danced a little jig, kicked her legs out in front of her, and touched her toes before lowering her legs back to the floor.

  The family laughed and clapped for her and seemed to be entertained with her antics.

  She remembered what Miz Mattie had told her to do, and she was determined to start letting her light shine from that moment on. She was the star for the day. She was going to be a star to the whole world, someday.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Carnikko ran into the kitchen when she heard Mammaw announce, “Time to eat!”

  The family gathered around the table, bowed their heads, and Pappaw said the blessing.

  Carnikko smiled as she remembered a time when Daddy was a bit tipsy and Mama was taking too long to say the blessing. Before she’d finished, Daddy had yelled, “Amen, Brother Ben. Shot at a rooster and killed a hen. Dig in!” All the children had laughed, but Mama got mad.

  Carnikko couldn’t stop a giggle as the memory came to her. She looked up, expecting Mammaw to reach over and pop her on the head for being disrespectful while Pappaw was praying. Mammaw shot Carnikko a stern look, but she didn’t pop her one.

  Pappaw said, “Amen” and the family members all echoed, ‘Amen.’

  The grandchildren filled plates and scurried off for the living room, where they sat in a circle, talked with mouths full, and laughed and joked with each other. It was a family Christmas, and it was even more wonderful than Carnikko could have imagined.

  By five o’clock, Aunt June and her husband, Uncle Leroy had gathered their children, bid the family goodbye, and left. The other cousins were playing with their new toys in the living room.

  Don, Lee, and Carnikko were in the front bedroom, just off the living room, and they could hear Mammaw telling Daddy, “I’m old, my health is bad, and we don’t have the money to give ꞌem what they need. Pappaw and me barely get by on his social security and what little money he makes cuttin' timber and sellin' it for firewood. But we’ll find ꞌem good homes, I promise. There’s foster homes in town, and I’ll make sure they’re good Christian people. Ain’t no heathens gonna raise my grandkids.”

  The children looked at each other in horror. Carnikko whispered, “Let’s jump out the window and run away. Maybe some rich stranger will take us in. It happens in fairytales.”

  Don said, “Don’t be stupid. Daddy would catch us and bring us back. There ain’t no such thing as fairytales comin' true.”

  Lee shook his head and said, “Daddy won’t catch us. He don’t even want us. Sissy, if you wanna run away, I’ll go with you.”

  Before Carnikko could answer, Mammaw came into the bedroom. Don looked her straight in the eye and said, “Mammaw, we ain’t goin' to no orphan’s home!”

  Mammaw sighed deeply, then sat on the edge of the bed. “We ain’t gonna send ya to an orphan’s home. I said a foster home. They’re good people and they take good care of kids—and you can come visit anytime you want.”

  The children just glared at Mammaw. She shook her head, then stood and walked out of the bedroom.

  Lee said, “Maybe if we beg real hard, some of the other family will take us. Mammaw don’t know everything.”

  “Maybe if Aunt Lou’s done with her breakdown, she’ll take me back,” Carnikko said.

  Daddy came into the bedroom, looked at his children for a few seconds, then said sadly, “Okay, kids. It’s time to kiss Daddy bye. I’ve got a long drive ahead, and I need to get on the road.”

  Carnikko ran to Daddy’s arms and he hugged her tightly, tears welling in his eyes. It was a familiar feeling having to hug and tell Daddy goodbye, but this time she didn’t want to go with him. She only hoped he wouldn’t forget about them and that he’d come back and see them from time to time.

  As the boys hugged him, Daddy kissed them on the cheek, something he’d never done before. Don seemed especially happy that Daddy had finally kissed him.

  “I love ya, guys,” Daddy said, turning and hurrying out of the room.

  Carnikko followed at a distance so Daddy wouldn’t know. When he stepped out onto the porch, she was amazed to see him stop, light up a Lucky Strike, look up toward the sky, and say, “Look, God! If you really do exist, I need ya to do me a solid. Please find my kids good homes. If ya do, then I reckon I’ll owe ya one.” Then he hurried to his car, fired it up, and sped away.

  Daddy had prayed? Carnikko turned and went back into the bedroom, where she sat on the edge of the bed, but before she could tell Don and Lee about the miracle she’d just witnessed, she heard Mammaw tell Aunt Bell, “I just hate the thought of separatin' those kids again.”

  Aunt Bell said softly, “I know they don’t understand it all now, but someday they will.”

  The house was silent for a few moments, until Uncle Clayton, Uncle Carl, Aunt Lou, Mammaw, and Pappaw walked through the bedroom door.

  Uncle Clayton looked at Don and said, “I’ve got me a little apartment. It’s just two rooms, but if you want, you can stay with me. Whats ya say?”

  Don’s eyes brightened as he said happily, “Yeah, Uncle Clayton, I’d love to! I don’t take up much room and I don’t eat much—and I can sell bottles to get us some extra money.”

  Aunt Lou motioned to Carnikko with her index finger. As Carnikko got off the bed and walked toward her, she said, “Sweetheart, would you like to come home with me?”

  “I sure would!” Carnikko said, racing forward and hugging her aunt. Then she pulled back and said, “But what about Lee?”

  “I’m sure Lula and Eldon will be happy to take Lee,” Aunt Bell said. “They’ve been missing you kids terribly. Lee, would you like to go back there and give it another try?”

  Lee looked skeptical for a moment, then he said, “I’ve missed them too. I don’t think Grandma will let Grandpa take the strap to me like he used to do to Don. I think maybe they learned it ain’t the right thing to do to a kid. I’ll give it another try.”

  Happiness spread through Carnikko’s soul. All three of them were going to stay with family members, even if they couldn’t live together. Those foster homes didn’t sound good to her. Whatever they were.

  Carnikko looked at Mammaw and said, “Can we spend the night here with you, since it’s our first night back?”

  Mammaw smiled and replied, “Well, everybody’s ready to leave, but I promise you’ll get a chance to sleep here before too long!”

  Aunt Bell said, “No, it’s okay. Carnikko’s right. They should sleep here tonight. We’ll all come back tomorrow and pick them up. Right Lou? Carl? Clayton?”

  Aunt Lou, Uncle Carl and Uncle Clayton nodded in agreement.

  “Well, in that case, I reckon we need to get some sleepin' arrangements made,” Mammaw said with a smile, “and we gotta find somethin' for ya to sleep in.”

  Carnikko looked at Aunt Bell and said, “I’ve missed Grandma and Grandpa too. Can I go visit with them when you take Lee out there?”

  “You bet you can. I’m glad you want to go.” Turning in Don’s direction, she asked, “Do you want to go see your grandparents? I know it would tickle them to see you.”

  Don didn’t hesitate. “Yeah, I’d like to go too. To tell the truth, I’ve missed them. Even Grandpa. He’s a good man, he’s just got a temper. I’ve missed Grandma somethin' fierce.”

  “Well, we’ve got that settled,” Aunt Bell said with a smile. “We'll see you tomorrow.”

  The next morning, the children awoke to the wonderfu
l smell of bacon. As they ambled into the kitchen, they found Pappaw sitting at the table finishing off a biscuit.

  “Mornin', kids,” he said. “Have a seat. Mammaw will fix ya some bacon, eggs, biscuits, and gravy.”

  Mammaw added, “I fixed extra this mornin'. I knowed you kids would be hungry. Seems like ya been hungry all yer life.”

  After Mammaw had filled their plates, she sat and joined them as they held hands, and Pappaw blessed the food. Then he stood and said, “I’ve got wood to chop. You kids eat up. I’ll see ya later.”

  As Pappaw headed out the back door, Mammaw said, “Ya be careful with that axe.”

  By the time the children had finished breakfast, Aunt Bell was there to take them to Eldon and Lula Winston’s farm. They put on their hand-me-down clothes and the coats that Aunt June had brought them the day before.

  The Winston's didn’t have a phone, so there was no way to let them know the children were coming. Eldon was just coming out of the barn with two buckets of milk, and Lula was emerging with an apron filled with eggs from the chicken house when Aunt Bell pulled in to the front of the house. When Aunt Bell stopped the car, the children jumped out and ran to their grandparents.

  Carnikko threw her arms around Grandma’s waist and hugged her as Grandma patted her head. Then she hugged Grandpa, which got her another head pat. The boys just stood back and smiled.

  Grandma said, “Lord, have mercy! We never thought we’d ever see you children again! You have no idea what it did to us when Ted—never mind. All three of you are back with us now and that’s all that matters.”

  Grandpa added, “God answered our prayers, Lula. He brought them back home.” Then he said, “Well, come on everybody! Let’s go in the house.”

  Once inside, Carnikko asked, “Grandpa, could I have a glass of milk—before you put it in the separator?”

  Don said, “Me too. It just don’t taste right after the separator.”

  Lee said, “I like milk both ways. I got used to skimmed milk when I lived with ya before.”

  Grandma smiled. “I’ll have to admit that whole milk has a better taste, but I need the cream so I can make butter.”