Pride and Joy

by M. L. Rice

  The powerboat was going too fast, though. Its operator had seen them at the same time they had seen him and he tried to slow down and steer clear, but it was too late. The powerboat clipped the front of her boat just as it slammed into the stern of the fishing vessel.

  Time seemed to slow.

  Her eyes are squeezed tightly shut, but the cacophony of metal being slammed into metal pierces her skull. It seems like it will never stop.

  Suddenly she no longer feels the cold, wet deck below her.

  Air rushes past her ears.

  Searing pain in her face.

  A sickening series of snaps as her flailing limbs collide with something metallic.

  A body-crushing impact knocks the breath from her lungs.

  Freezing cold.

  Water in her eyes.

  Water in her mouth.

  No air.

  She can’t breathe.

  She can’t breathe.

  Oh God, she can’t breathe!

  Pain shoots through her body as she fights for air.

  Her lungs scream, but finally draw a knife-sharp breath.

  A flicker of red and orange before the world goes black.

  *

  She is underwater. Voices, muffled and unintelligible—she can barely hear them. She’s on the bottom of her swimming pool. Why are people disturbing her when she’s meditating? Something hurts. She tries to tune out the voices. They bring an unwelcome physical pain.

  Concentrate on meditation.

  Become one with the water.

  Consternation creases Bryce’s brow. The voices speak with more force, excitement building in their tone. Why won’t the voices leave her alone? Why do they hurt so much?

  Slowly she is forced upward against her will. Rising from the water that soothes and protects her. Her body is changing; being reborn into a coldness that brings fear and a sharper pain.

  Agony pierced her head as her eyes slowly blinked open and light stabbed its way into her skull. Slowly she focused on a smiling woman in medical scrubs. Standing alongside her was a man she recognized but couldn’t immediately place through the mist that still surrounded her mind.

  Commander Hendricks smiled at her warmly. “Welcome back, Lieutenant.”

  Her mouth felt like it was full of cotton and sand, but she managed to croak, “Where am I…sir?”

  “You’re at the Naval Hospital in Bremerton. You were in an accident. Do you remember anything?”

  Bryce closed her eyes and saw the powerboat speeding toward her. Her eyes popped open, terrified. “My crew?”

  “They’re all safe. Your coxswain, Petty Officer MacDonald, is a few rooms down with a broken wrist and various scrapes and bruises, but it’s nothing to worry about.”

  “Fishermen?”

  “Also fine.” He shrugged. “Their boat has seen better days and will definitely have to be dry-docked for repairs, but it stayed afloat and got them safely back to the harbor.”

  “The powerboat operator?”

  “He’s fine, but I’ll get to that in a bit.”

  Bryce hesitated, but finally tore her eyes away from the commander’s and looked down at her body lying supine in the hospital bed. Her left leg was in a full-length cast and rested in a sling above the sheets. Her left arm was bandaged but didn’t appear to be broken. She tried to take a deep breath, but pain shot through the left side of her chest. When she grimaced, tape and gauze pulled at the left side of her face.

  Captain Hendricks watched her physical inventory, and his expression grew somber. “Lieutenant Montgomery, let me first say that we’re so glad that you’re back with us. Petty Officer MacDonald pulled you unconscious from the water and we all feared the worst when we couldn’t revive you. You took in a great deal of water when you were thrown from the boat.”

  “How bad?” Bryce didn’t want to hear the answer.

  “I won’t sugarcoat it for you. I know you don’t want that.”

  He was right. She was a straightforward person and wanted to know everything.

  “It appears that when the coxswain slowed suddenly, you were thrown forward onto the deck at your bow, right into the path of the powerboat. When the collision occurred, you were slammed into the fishing vessel’s stern and entered the water from there. You got some pretty deep cuts on your left arm and a lot of bruises. Three ribs on your left side were broken, but the doctors are very confident that they will heal cleanly and quickly.” He paused for a moment. Bryce knew that the first injuries were the easiest ones. He cleared his throat before continuing. “When you hit part of the fishing vessel’s stern, that cut up your arm, but it also created a significant cut to the left side of your face. I haven’t seen it, but the doctors tell me that it extends from your left temple to your jawline. You have several stitches and will have a scar.”

  Bryce tried to cover up her growing panic with sarcasm as she thought, So much for being pretty. It’s too bad I waited to get a girlfriend.

  The commander still hadn’t mentioned her leg. “What about this thing?” She gestured with her unharmed right arm to the complicated sling.

  “Your leg was broken in multiple places. That injury will…that one will take longer to heal and may not…”

  “Tell me.”

  “You may not have full use of it again.”

  “W-what?”

  “I’ll have the doctor show you later on the x-ray. I think there may also be some nerve damage, but she knows more about it than I do.” He smiled at her, but concern showed in his eyes.

  Bryce nodded solemnly, a movement that hurt every part of her body. “Thank you for being here for me, sir. You didn’t have to leave the ship.”

  “Well, technically I did. They’re getting the inquiry ready and I need to report to Sector. But don’t worry about that right now. You’ll do fine when they question you. You’re trained for it, and from what we observed from the Gossett, you and your crew are without fault in this situation. Preliminary reports show that the powerboat operator got lost in the fog and was three times over the legal intoxication limit. You got hit by a drunk driver.” The commander’s face had a hint of anger in it now.

  “Lovely,” Bryce said emotionlessly.

  “Let me know if you need anything, Lieutenant. I’ll make sure the doctor keeps me updated on your condition and I’m sure you’ll be up and about in no time.” He smiled, but the look in his eyes showed that he didn’t really believe that.

  “Thanks for coming by, Commander. Tell the guys hi for me, would you, sir?”

  “You’ve got it. Now you just rest and start the healing process. I’ll talk to you soon.” He turned and left the room, leaving Bryce alone with the woman in the scrubs.

  Her eyelids felt heavy, and even though she thought the polite thing to do would be to at least say hello to the nurse and thank her for her care, Bryce slid back into her underwater world of sleep.

  *

  After two weeks of lying in the hospital bed, Bryce was growing restless. She had never been so inactive in her whole life. The cold ocean air blowing in her face had become so normal to her that the dry, stale air from the hospital room was starting to make her feel like she was in a sealed tomb. Of course, her shipmates and friends had all sent her get-well cards and flowers, so the room looked more cheerful than it had when she had first opened her eyes to the Spartan walls, but still, she couldn’t stand the thought of looking at the same holes in the ceiling over and over again. She had also watched so many documentaries and films from her online movie account that she never wanted to look at a computer screen again.

  The doctor had promised her she could get out of bed in another week. She knew that it was going to be a slow, painful process, but she was dying for a change, even if that change brought physical suffering. She had been shocked when the doctor had shown her the x-rays of her left leg. Her femur had broken in two places, her kneecap had cracked, and her shinbone had actually snapped with one end piercing through her skin.

 
Then there was the nerve damage. There were times when she couldn’t feel parts of her leg at all and others where the pain was so intense that she broke out into sweats and almost fainted. It was going to take months of healing and physical therapy to get her back on her feet, and even then the doctor had little hope she would ever be able to walk without a cane or, at the very least, a pronounced limp for the rest of her life.

  Depressing music played in her head as it did every time she started to dwell on the fact that her hard-won and precious career in the Coast Guard was most likely over before it had even really begun. No. She wouldn’t think about that until she had to. She would concentrate her dependable willpower on recuperating. Who cared what the doctor said anyway? She had yet to meet and be conquered by any challenge thrown her way. She would show them what good old-fashioned Texan stubbornness could accomplish.

  A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. She checked the clock on her nightstand: a few minutes before noon. Almost time for the regular delivery of bland hospital food. Normally the nurses rapped once and then entered, but this time no one came in. A second knock, more hesitant.

  “You can come in!” Pain in her ribs still stabbed through her when she raised her voice or breathed deeply, but she could tell the bones were healing.

  Three people walked into the room. Joy surged through Bryce, the first bit of happiness she had experienced in days. Her three best friends stood at the end of her bed, nervous smiles on their faces.

  “Oh my God! I can’t believe you guys are here!” Bryce had spoken to Jennifer, Arati, and Leah on the phone in the days following the accident, but she definitely hadn’t been expecting to see them in person. Hours of questioning by Sector officials had taken a toll on her emotionally, and her friends had been her lifelines. She hadn’t allowed them to video chat with her, though. Not with the giant bandage on her face and her general unkempt and sickly appearance. But they had talked briefly almost every night until Bryce’s strength failed and she had to sleep. Having them standing before her in the hospital room felt surreal.

  She noticed their reactions to her condition. Each one of them had put on her “brave face,” pretending not to notice the bandages, slings, and mysterious medical equipment.

  “Well, look at you, ya big faker,” Arati said in her usual jovial style after setting a potted plant and “Get Well Soon” bear balloon on the table by the window.

  Bryce played along. “Yeah, I was just looking to take a break. You know, catch some R and R. Figured this was the easiest way to do it without the Coast Guard breathing down my neck.”

  Leah sat gingerly on the right edge of her bed and grasped Bryce’s hand. “How are you doing, sweetie?”

  Bryce grimaced. “Oh, you know. Shattered leg, ruined career, giant scar spoiling my otherworldly good looks. Same ol’, same ol’. You?”

  Leah’s eyes misted over.

  “But seriously, guys, it’s so good to see you all here! You never said anything about coming!”

  Jennifer spoke this time over an insanely large bouquet of flowers. “Bryce, did you think we wouldn’t come to see you? Really?” She smiled kindly. “We don’t abandon our best friends.”

  “But you guys had to come from all over the place to get here, and I can’t even leave this room yet to hang out with you.”

  Arati scoffed. “We didn’t come out here to play doubles tennis, Bryce. We just want to see you and hopefully get to spend some time with you…if you’re feeling up to it.”

  Bryce smiled widely for the first time since the accident. Pain seared in her wounded cheek, but it still felt good. “Well, I do kick some ass at playing spades, if you’re ready to get owned.”

  “I’m Bryce’s partner!” Leah yelled first and they all laughed.

  “Oh, before I forget. These,” Jennifer held up the bouquet a little higher, “are from…from someone who is worried about you.”

  Bryce waited for her to say more, but her friends just glanced around the room at each other, trying not to smile.

  “Who?”

  Jennifer shook her head. “I was instructed, upon pain of death, to not say. Just know that everyone who has heard is really worried about you and they want to let you know how much they care.”

  Bryce thought for a moment. Could the flowers be from one of her parents? The last time she had spoken to them was to tell them she had arrived at the academy safely for Swab Summer. Her mother had refused to speak to her, simply handing the phone to her father. He had been perfectly polite when she spoke to him, but that was all. There had been no “I love you,” no “Good luck, honey,” and certainly no “We miss you.” So, no. The flowers couldn’t be from them. Or could they?

  “Why would someone want to send me flowers anonymously?”

  “You’ll have to ask when you find out who sent them, I guess.”

  Bryce knew she wasn’t going to get any more information out of her. Jennifer was like Fort Knox with secrets. Still, she was intrigued. Someone out there, besides her three best friends, still thought about her and still cared. Maybe her relationship with her parents was about to be resurrected. The thought terrified and excited her, but whether it was them or someone else, knowing that someone else cared made the pain and anxiety lessen just enough.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Bryce didn’t want to open her eyes. She had gotten out of bed for the first time yesterday and her body still ached from the effort. The doctor had told her that if she hadn’t already been in such peak physical condition she would have been much, much worse off. At least that was something. But even though she had been dying to move around before, now she just wanted to lie still until the pain subsided. Her sleep had been dreamless and deep, and now the sound of someone watering the plants in her room was disturbing her, bringing her back into the world of the living.

  At first she thought that one of her friends was back in the room, but that couldn’t be it. They had stayed the weekend with her, playing cards, watching movies, catching up on each other’s lives, and reliving past memories, but Arati had to return to graduate school in Los Angeles, Leah had to go back to her girlfriend and her job as a social worker in Tucson, and Jennifer was in the middle of writing her dissertation as well as volunteering for a wildlife rehabilitation center in Austin. They had all wanted to stay longer, but Bryce knew she had already caused them to take too much time out of their busy lives.

  She blinked her eyes open and saw a blurry female figure standing backlit against the window, holding a water pitcher over the plants. The form and movement was vaguely familiar, but Bryce’s sleepy brain couldn’t puzzle it out.

  “The flowers were watered yesterday,” Bryce managed to mumble as she shifted uncomfortably and tried to wake up properly.

  The mystery plant lover stopped suddenly as if startled. Bryce saw her back rise and lower as she took a deep breath and turned around.

  Bryce’s heart threatened to explode from her tender rib cage as she laid eyes on her mother for the first time in more than six years. Her face was thinner than she had remembered, with more lines around her eyes and mouth, but otherwise she looked just the same. Except this time she wasn’t crying and telling Bryce she was going to hell. The ability to speak immediately disappeared from Bryce’s mental capacities.

  Her mother smiled hesitantly and made her way slowly over to her bed.

  “Hello, Bryce,” she said as her smile wavered.

  Bryce couldn’t answer.

  “Your father wanted to come too, but he’s working on a site for a new elementary school on Aspen and Twenty-fifth.”

  Bryce continued to stare, unable to have a conversation with the woman who had so unceremoniously severed their relationship years ago. Conflicting emotions tumbled around in her chest. Despite what her parents had done to her, she was still elated to see her mom. Because of what they’d done, she wanted to scream at her and tell her to never come back. The pain of their disapproval and the ease with which they’d been able to d
isown their own daughter felt like an old scab freshly torn open.

  “Bryce,” her mother ventured cautiously, “we still love you and have missed you terribly ever since…”

  Bryce’s eyes narrowed.

  “We’ve discussed it and we think everything will be okay now.”

  For a moment, she sat stunned.

  What?

  With effort, Bryce found her voice and it shook with fury. “Everything will be okay now? You kick me out of the house only a couple of weeks before I leave for school, never once try to contact me to wish me so much as a happy birthday or to invite me home for Christmas? You miss my graduation and commissioning after four years of backbreaking work and study, and now you have the audacity to come in here and tell me you and Dad think that everything will be okay? Now that I’ve lost everything I’ve worked for? Now that my leg is nearly useless and I’m scarred for life?”

  The metal contraption that helped to keep her full leg cast steady vibrated with her anger.

  A single tear fell from her mother’s eye as she looked at the ground. “Honey, I realize what we did was wrong. We’ve had six years to regret it.”

  “But what? You regretted it, but just couldn’t bring yourself to reach out to your own flesh and blood? To apologize?”

  “You have to understand, sweetie,” her mother shook her head sadly, “we were just so…so…”

  “Ashamed of me.”

  Her mother winced. “We were disappointed in your choices.”

  Bryce deflated like a punctured balloon. “Being gay isn’t a choice, Mom. Can’t you know that by now? Have you not learned anything since I left? And can’t you see that my being gay has absolutely zero bearing on who I’ve become and what I can accomplish?”

  “Bryce, please understand—”

  “No. You were never able to see past that one small aspect of who I am. You knew me for eighteen years. Knew what a good person I was. Understood my goals and dreams. And you were always so proud. I will never, never understand the kind of backward thinking that would make someone disown their own child for something as small and natural as their innate sexuality.”