Bears of Burden: STERLING

by Candace Ayers

  “If that’s not who you are or who you want to be, change, Sterling. I don’t think anyone else sees you the way you see yourself, though. Every time someone in this town mentions your name, they do it with stars in their eyes. You’re a great man, too. Except for the whole womanizer thing.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “That’s over.”

  “You were still doing it a few days ago. I heard you.”

  One more way I’d fucked up. I took a deep breath and was about to explain that the truth was not as it seemed, when a truck door slammed outside.

  Ophelia jumped up and ran over to the window. “Shit! Kyle’s here!”

  I frowned. “Well, I didn’t exactly plan on him finding out this way, but…”

  Her eyes went wide and she shook her head. “No way. No fucking way. You have to leave.”

  My bear growled and I let it out. “You must be kidding.”

  She shoved my clothes at me and shook her head. “I don’t want him to find out this way. I can’t do that to him. Dammit, Sterling, hurry.”

  I stood up, suddenly pissed. Shoving my legs in my pants, I yanked them up and fastened them. “You know what, Ophelia? It really fucking sucks to be kicked out right after I bare my soul to you like that. This can’t keep happening. You need to tell him because what we have isn’t going away.”

  She rushed to the door and held the knob. She mouthed an apology, but I was too annoyed to care.

  “Guess I’ll see you around.” I slid open her window, still shaking my head, and climbed down the side of their house before retreating into the woods. My bear didn’t like it. It felt like I was running away from Kyle. I was a lot of things, but a coward had never been one of them. My bear didn’t like retreat, and I completely agreed.

  It also sucked that my mate was choosing another man over us. Brother or not. What we had going—this stealth arrangement—was simply not going to work. I needed more from her. I didn’t want to be some dirty secret she hid in shame. It was fucking with me. That was exactly what it felt like, too. She was ashamed of me.

  I shifted, shredding my pants, and charged through the woods heading for my truck. I lifted my face to the heavens and let out a frustrated roar.

  CHAPTER 16: Ophelia

  I winced as I heard the loud, frustrated roar from the woods behind the house. Sterling was pissed, and, if I wasn’t mistaken, hurt. The timing was terrible. I hurried to get a robe on and kicked the shirt he’d left behind under the bed. I wanted to scream and punch pillows, but I could hear Kyle rushing up the stairs.

  “Ophelia?”

  I opened my bedroom door and came out. “You’re home early!”

  He grabbed my shoulders and looked behind me, scanning my bedroom. “Are you okay? What the fuck happened downstairs?”

  I held up my hands and sighed. “I… I came home drunk and stumbled in as a bear. I’m sorry, Kyle. I was going to have everything cleaned up by morning, but you surprised me.”

  His face changed and he backed away. “You were walking outside—as a bear?”

  I nodded. “Through the woods. It’s normal.”

  He rolled his eyes and shoved his hands through his hair. “Nothing fucking normal about it.”

  I reeled back like he’d physically slapped me. In an instant, all of my self-consciousness I’d managed to pretend didn’t exist after my tryst in the cave with Sterling came back. “What?”

  “Nothing. Jesus. I had a bad fucking night. I’m going to bed. Clean the mess up, would you?” He stormed down the hallway to his room and slammed the door shut behind himself.

  I stared after him, finally seeing some of the asshole that everyone else talked about. With tears in my eyes, I locked myself in my room and curled up on my bed. The corner rocked when my weight hit it, still broken from Sterling tossing me onto it earlier.

  Shame settled over me as I thought about the size of my bear and Kyle’s words. I was a really fat bear. A not so thin human, too. Heavy enough to break the bed.

  I grimaced at the thoughts racing through my head and reached under my bed to grab Sterling’s shirt. Slipping out of my robe, I pulled the shirt over my head and breathed in his scent, calming myself. Sterling didn’t think I was too big or abnormal. He liked my body and my bear.

  I’d messed things up with him, though. He hadn’t tried to hide the annoyance at being kicked out of the house. He wanted to confront the issue and nip it in the bud. He was brave and honest and wanted to be upfront. Why did he think his brother was such a great man, but not himself? That’s not what I saw. Not at all.

  Growling, I yanked the blanket over my head. I’d somehow managed to land a man who was hot as hell, thought I was sexy and beautiful, wanted me, and talked to me about how he felt. Jackpot! Yet, here I was, fucking it up all over the place. I was pretty sure that there was only so much hiding and sneaking around a man like him was going to put up with before he got sick and tired of it. In fact, he may have reached his limit tonight.

  I slept like crap, tossing and turning through nightmares of Sterling walking away from me. It was miserable. I woke up feeling like I’d been through the spin cycle of the washing machine, and crying from an especially raw dream where Sterling rejected me and all my friends shunned me for hurting him.

  I threw on some clothes and stumbled downstairs to clean up the mess we’d made the night before. Kyle was already gone, so after I finished, I just sat at the kitchen table with a pot of coffee. I had an article to write that day, but I’d already done the research and completed a couple short interviews with which to compile a few quotes. I could just write it at home and send it to Karen if I wanted.

  After an hour of trying, I realized I couldn’t. I went to the library instead, and sat in Veronica’s office while she led a group of kids in a vigorous story time. I got the article finished, and it was passable, and then headed towards Sterling’s house.

  I wanted to apologize and let him know that I was going to tell Kyle. After driving all the way up his driveway, though, he wasn’t even there. I went to Hutch’s and he told me I’d be able to find Sterling at the tracks, practicing.

  He also gave me a disappointed look that sent me scampering away. I felt guilty enough as it was. I didn’t need Hutch to make it worse.

  I parked in the lot and got out. Sterling’s truck was there, his trailer empty. There were a few other cars scattered around, but when I got to the track, I found that Sterling was the only person on it. He sped around the big circle, drifting around curves and sending dirt flying everywhere.

  I spied several people, mostly women, sitting in the stands, eating and watching him, too. To my dismay, Kyle’s ex-fiancée was amongst them. My bear threatened to appear, but I tried to soothe her. Presley Gray wasn’t a threat to me. I had to remember that.

  Sterling pulled the car to a stop in front of me and slipped out of the window. Instead of coming over to me, he leaned against the hood and crossed his arms over his chest.

  I blew out a breath. Yeah, he was still upset with me. I gracelessly crawled over the shortest part of the fence and ended up stumbling to the dirt. I got up quickly though, brushing the dirt off my knees.

  By the time I got to Sterling, he was grinning and shaking his head. “Even if I wanted to stay mad at you, I couldn’t. You’re so cute when you’re clumsy.”

  I scowled and then grabbed his hat from his head. “You can have this back for a kiss.”

  His eyes cut to the stands. “People are going to see us.”

  I kept my eyes on his, noticing the way the blue-green flecks turned darker. “I don’t care.”

  He grabbed me and spun us around. Dipping, he laid my back down on the hood of his car, his body wedged against mine. Kissing me hard, his hand slipped down and cupped my ass. “You done hiding me?”

  I slipped his hat back on him and nodded. “I’ll talk to Kyle tonight. I owe you an apology. And I aim to give it to you. However you want it.”

  Sterling buried his face against my neck
and his tongue stroked out to tease me. “I have a few ideas.”

  I kissed him again and then pushed at his chest. “Alright, that’s enough. We’re giving your fan club a little too much of a show.”

  He glanced over at the group and then grinned down at me. “That was nothing.”

  “I never thanked you for getting my car back home the other day after I locked the keys inside.” I sat up with him and wrapped my arms around his waist. “So, I owe you an apology and a thank you.”

  “And you’re sure you’re not into giving them a show?”

  I nodded. “What are they doing here, anyway?”

  He shrugged. “I’m here almost every day, practicing. Sometimes people come to watch. There’s a potential sponsor coming to my next race, so I want to be sure I’m ready for it.”

  And my man really thought he wasn’t a hard worker?

  “What would a sponsor mean?”

  “Bigger races. Races that end in five hundred.”

  I felt his excitement and smiled. “You’ll do great. I won’t keep you from your practice, though. I just wanted to find you and apologize.”

  “Want to do a lap with me?”

  I quickly shook my head. “Not a damn chance, you nut job. Bears aren’t meant to fly.”

  “Will I see you tonight?”

  I shot him a wink. “I hope so.”

  CHAPTER 17: Ophelia

  I was almost to my car when I heard Presley call out my name. I wanted to pretend like I hadn’t heard her, but I wasn’t that petty. Even though she had broken my brother’s heart. I turned to face her and crossed my arms over my chest.

  Her grin was more wince than smile and she held up her hands as she got closer. “I just want to talk to you for a second. Is that okay?”

  I nodded without speaking, feeling like I was making a mistake. It would pain Kyle to know that I was having any kind of conversation with his ex, but she’d always been so sweet to me, we’d almost been sisters-in-law, and she looked like she was ready to cry.

  “I want to apologize for what happened.” She twisted her hands together and stared at her feet. “I feel terrible. I know we weren’t best friends or anything, but I still feel like I owe you an explanation, too.”

  The last thing I wanted to hear was an explanation about why she’d cheated on my brother and slept with my mate. Just being reminded made me want to smack her. “You don’t owe me anything, Presley.”

  She nodded. “I do. I’m sorry for hurting your brother, but after what he did, I just…I acted out. I made a very bad choice and I regret it. I should’ve handled things more maturely.”

  I frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  She looked confused. “What do you mean?”

  “You said ‘after what he did.’ What did he do?”

  Her eyes filled with tears and she wrapped her arms around herself. “I loved him. No one else ever got it, but I did. Not many people come out to Macon’s Edge. When your brother came to see me, he made me feel special. He was kind and sweet and pretended to care about me. I didn’t have a clue that he had been cheating on me the whole time. When I found out, I kind of lost it. I went to that bar in Burden and met up with the first guy who looked my way. I just did it to get back at Kyle and it was so stupid and juvenile. I should’ve just ended it. Now, he feels like he has a reason to hate Sterling, too.”

  I think my jaw hit the ground. “Kyle cheated on you?”

  She nodded and a tear rolled down her face. “A lot, apparently. I don’t know why he even proposed to me when he obviously wasn’t finished playing the field.”

  I wrapped my arm around her, despite my bear’s grumbling. She was clearly in pain. At my brother’s hands. “I’m so sorry, Presley. I had no clue.”

  She nodded. “I guess he just told everyone that I cheated on him and said some pretty nasty things about me. I deserved that part of it.”

  “No, you didn’t. I’m going to have a long talk with my brother. I’m sorry for what he did to you. No one deserves that.”

  She looked back at the track and nodded to where Sterling was bent over the engine of his car. “He’s a good one. Seems like you’ve got his full attention.”

  I resisted the urge to growl. “Why are you here, Presley? Do you have feelings for him after what happened?”

  She flashed me a grin and shook her head. “No. Not at all. In fact, I’ve sworn off men. This is the only place close by Macon that I can escape to, is all.”

  I smiled back at her and grabbed my keys from my pocket. “I’ll make sure that Kyle feels my wrath for what he did to you.”

  With a slight shrug, she turned back towards the track. “No use. It’s water under the bridge now.”

  I watched her go and clenched my teeth. Kyle was proving himself to be the asshole that everyone said he was. It made no sense. I couldn’t reconcile the man who came to see me in Nashville with the man who lived with me in Burden. I was going to figure it out, though, and then have the conversation about my mate. It was time to stop hiding.

  Kyle was at home when I got back, standing over the kitchen sink, eating a sandwich. He looked up at me and frowned. “What are you doing here?”

  Unable to keep the sass out of my voice, I let it fly. “I live here. That going to be a problem?”

  His frown deepened. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “I just ran into Presley.”

  He scowled and grabbed a beer from the fridge. “And?”

  “I’ve spent the last few months hating Sterling Mallory because I thought he broke your heart. You said he did. You said he stole Presley from you and that you’d never hurt quite so bad, or something equally as dramatic. You were cheating on her the whole time you were together, though. What the hell, Kyle?”

  His face burned red and he glared at me. He reminded me a little of a demon. “It’s none of your business.”

  I scoffed. “It really is. I came home because you sounded so depressed. I was so worried about you. You said that Sterling stole your future! I physically assaulted the man for you!”

  He rolled his eyes. “I didn’t ask you to punch him in the dick. That was just a great bonus.”

  I shook my head and placed my hands on the counter, trying to calm myself down. “I’m being serious, Kyle. Why’d you cheat on her? Why did you play the victim when she decided to give you a taste of your own medicine?”

  “This is rich. You’re going to lecture me on what I do or don’t do now? You’re the one stumbling into the house, drunk off your ass, breaking shit.”

  “Just answer the question, Kyle. I’m having a hard time reconciling the guy who came to visit me in Nashville every time I was struggling with the guy who cheated on his fiancée and then tried to paint her as some kind of whore.”

  “Well, isn’t she?” He drained his beer and shook his head. “Jesus, it’s not that big of a deal, O.”

  Tears pricked my eyes and I tried my best to blink them away. “Not a big deal? What happened to you? What made you like this? I never saw this side of you before, but suddenly it’s become blinding.”

  Kyle slammed his beer into the sink and grabbed my arms. “I think you should go back to Nashville. I don’t need you here. I’m fine. Obviously. Go back to Nashville where you act normal and I can handle you.”

  I withdrew from him and shook my head. “What? What are you talking about?”

  He shook me, anger and frustration marring his normally handsome face. “It was easy to be good to you in Nashville. You acted normal. None of this bear shit. You were just a normal girl who had normal job and normal problems. I could forget that you’re one of them.”

  My mouth fell open and I stared up at him in shock. My mind went blank and I searched desperately for something to say, but my thoughts were jumbled.

  “I hate this fucking place, Ophelia. I hate bears. I hate shifters and all the shit that goes with them. I don’t want to be around it. You were normal in Nashville. You never shifted or talked
about it. You were just a normal sister and it was a nice break from all this shit. Being in Nashville was the best escape. I don’t know why I thought you being back here was a good idea. I guess I thought you’d changed for good and I could have someone normal around here in this shithole.”

  I wrestled his arms off of me and moved to the other side of the kitchen. “I’m a bear shifter, Kyle. I didn’t ask for it. It’s just what I am. How can you say you hate that?”

  “It’s not hard.”

  CHAPTER 18: Ophelia

  My chest ached as Kyle revealed to me that he hated an entire part of my nature that I was powerless to change. “I’m your sister. Mom was a bear shifter. So many people in this town are shifters. You’re saying you hate all of us?”

  Kyle shoved his hands through his hair and looked up at the ceiling, like the answers he was looking for might be up there. “I don’t hate you, O. I didn’t hate Mom. She hid that shit, though. It’s just not normal. It’s weird and I don’t understand why you’d want to be a big ass bear, anyway. It’s not exactly attractive.”

  I put my hands over my chest like that would help the pain he was causing me. “You can’t actually feel like this, Kyle. I know the gene skipped you and Mom thought that would cause some jealousy, but this is a little extreme.”

  “Jealousy! You think I want to be a freak?!” He laughed and shook his head. “That’s the thing with all the shifters in this town. You all think you’ve been given some great gift. You think you’re the best thing ever because you can turn into a fucking bear. When really, you should all be hiding that freak show shit.”

  I shuddered as his words washed over me. It was a nightmare come true. All the self-consciousness I’d felt my whole life about my bear came rearing to life and all I wanted to do was hide.

  Kyle scowled at me and walked to the back door. Yanking it open, he looked back at me. “Maybe you should really think about going back to Nashville. Things could go back to normal and we could pretend like none of this shit happened.”