Bears of Burden: STERLING

by Candace Ayers

  “Pretend like I’m not an attraction in a freak show?”

  He nodded. “Yeah. Until you leave, you can stay here, but don’t break anything else, O.”

  The door slammed behind him and I clutched at my shirt, attempting to get it away from my skin. It felt like I couldn’t breathe. My heart throbbed painfully in my chest and I started tingling all over. Panic overwhelmed me until I sank to the floor and pressed my back against the cabinets behind me as hard as I could.

  I cried openly and buried my face in my knees. Feeling completely raw and exposed, I just wanted to run away. Running back to Nashville didn’t sound like a terrible idea. I could go back to real journalism and it would probably take only a few days to find an apartment.

  Sterling’s face popped into my brain and refused to budge, though. No, I was staying in Burden. He was my mate. I might lose Kyle, but it felt like I’d already lost him. He hated what I was.

  Needing to feel something other than the crushing weight of Kyle’s disgust towards me, I ran up the stairs to shower and get ready for seeing Sterling. I knew he’d be disappointed that I hadn’t been able to tell Kyle, but he’d get it. I just needed to see him and feel some of the peace he gave me when he was close. I’d deal with the rest as it came.

  CHAPTER 19: Sterling

  Pure excitement tingled through me as I pulled up to the bar and parked my truck. I got out and straightened my button-down shirt. I’d taken the time to get dressed up for the night. It was the first time I was going out with my woman and it was a big deal. Ophelia had wanted to meet in public, so that meant no more sneaking around. That meant she’d told Kyle.

  What the hell was wrong with me? My heart raced and my palms were sweaty. I was as nervous as a virgin on prom night. It suddenly felt real, like she was ready to commit to what we were. I still didn’t know if she really understood the mate bond, but I had plans to take her back to my place that night and explain it in graphic detail, complete with examples and demonstrations.

  I pushed my way inside and spotted my little bear at the bar. There were already a few empty glasses in front of her and didn’t that just make my bear grumble. Something didn’t feel right.

  I strolled past the guys, offering a wave, and came up behind Ophelia. I grasped her hips and brushed my lips over her hair. “Hey.”

  She gasped and spun around to face me. For a second, it looked like there were tears in her eyes, but then she smiled and threw herself against my chest. Her arms held tightly around me and she inhaled deeply. “Sterling.”

  I smoothed her wild hair and held her head to me. “What’s wrong, baby?”

  She stayed still for a few more seconds and then pulled away. “Nothing. Sorry, just a bad day. I’ve had a few drinks while I was waiting on you.”

  As she slurred her words, I counted the glasses behind her and suppressed a sigh. She was sloshed. Still adorable, though. I leaned down and planted a kiss on her mouth. “Tell me about it.”

  She shook her head. “Let’s not—not right now. Let’s have a good night. I just want to be near you.”

  That time, I did sigh. My bear was agitated and I couldn’t soothe him until he knew that our mate was okay. She looked like she’d been crying and I had to assume it was because of Kyle. Anger washed over me at the idea of Kyle saying something to hurt her.

  “Is it Kyle? What did he say when you told him?”

  She blinked a few times and then motioned to Allie, who was bartending, for another drink. “No.”

  I sat down next to her and caged her between my knees. “Talk to me, Ophelia.”

  “That’s not how you and I solve our problems.” Her grin was crooked and her hand rested on my knee and moved higher. “How about you join me in the bathroom?”

  A twinge of regret coursed through me at her words. The evening was definitely not going how I thought it would. I shook my head. “I’d rather talk right now.”

  She pouted and tossed back the drink that Allie had dropped off. “Well, I’ve got to pee, either way. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  I caught her arm and looked her in the eyes. “I’m sorry if Kyle upset you. I wish I could’ve been there with you, to do it together.”

  She pulled away from me and shrugged. “It’s fine.”

  I let her go and growled. Something had happened. I could feel it in my bones. She wasn’t okay, but she was trying to hide it.

  Like some sort of prophetic omen, when I glanced back at the rest of the bar, I saw Kyle walk in. He met my eye and sneered before heading for the pool tables in the back.

  I took a deep breath and stood up. I was going to find out what the guy did or said to upset my mate, whether his sister wanted to clue me in or not. I strode across the bar and stopped a few feet from him.

  The girl he was with looked up at me and smiled. Kyle didn’t. “What the fuck do you want?”

  “Did something happen with Ophelia? She seems upset.”

  His scowl deepened. “Why the fuck do you care about my sister?”

  I growled. “You might not understand mate bonding, but let me clear it up for you a little. When you have a mate, you care when she’s fucking upset. She talked to you and now she’s upset. What did you say to hurt her?”

  I couldn’t have imagined a more perfect visage of horror than the expression on Kyle’s face. His face turned bright red and he stood straighter. He looked like he was trying to double in size.

  “What did you just say?”

  Fuck. “Ophelia, your sister, my mate, what did you do to hurt her?”

  The punch he threw was hard for a human. He must’ve really put his all into it.

  CHAPTER 20: Sterling

  Kyle’s fist split my lip and knocked my head to the side. He didn’t hesitate to throw another punch into my kidney. I growled and turned back to him, struggling to keep my bear in check.

  “Look, motherfucker, you touch me again and I’m going to do something that pisses your sister off.”

  He threw another punch that I blocked and then swore at me. “You’re a disgusting animal. Keep your freak paws off my sister!”

  I shoved him backwards and growled. “Watch your mouth.”

  Hutch showed up behind me and sent his own growl towards Kyle before nodding to me. “You sure you want to beat on your mate’s brother?”

  “Don’t call her that. She’s not going to mate with some filthy half-breed. You’re an animal. An abomination. You think she’s like you, but she’s not. She can hide it. She’s not going to stay here and live as some disgusting, vile creature and give birth to more little freaks of nature. She’s going back to Nashville.”

  I saw red. Hutch’s growl from beside me was just as loud as mine. He raised his hands and stepped back. “You deserve this ass beating, boy.”

  Kyle lunged at me and I swung my fist, connecting with the side of his jaw. He seemed stunned from the blow, but shook it off and came at me again. Without restraint, I picked him up by the front of his shirt and the top of his jeans and threw him across the pool table.

  He crashed into a group of chairs and slowly climbed back to his feet, fury rolling off him. “Fight me like a man!”

  I held out my hands. “You see a bear here?”

  He came back at me, his intent clear in his balled-up fists. He tried to swing at me again, but I blocked it and shoved him backwards again. He stumbled into the pool table and tripped over his date’s feet. Going down to the floor, he screamed at me.

  “She can be normal! Let her! She doesn’t have to live like an animal!” He grabbed a pool stick and cracked it over his knee, waving the sharp end around like a lunatic. “The fuck you think you can touch my sister after what you did.”

  I scented Ophelia heading our way and growled. I turned to her and shook my head. “Stay back.”

  A sharp pain hit the back of my head and I went down to one knee. I looked up to see Hutch charging Kyle. I rushed to my feet and caught him. “Not your fight, brother.”

 
; He growled. “He fucking hit you in the back of the head with a pool stick when you weren’t looking. It’s my fucking fight now.”

  I took another hit to the shoulders while trying to get Hutch away from Kyle. Having Ophelia nearer gave me more control over my anger. I wasn’t going to let her see me hurt her brother. Much.

  I pushed Hutch to Thorn who grabbed him and held him before turning to Kyle and snatching the pool stick away from him. I threw it away from us and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. Calling on the strength of my bear, I lifted him until his feet left the floor. My fist was jammed against the underside of his chin, making it hard for him to breath.

  “You’re a real shit stain. Be nicer to your sister. Jesus, just be nice.”

  Ophelia appeared at my side, her hands reaching up for my arm. “Put him down, Sterling.”

  I immediately dropped him and turned to her. I stared down at her and couldn’t swallow back the hurt and anger inside. I watched as she rushed to help her brother stand. He leaned heavily on her and glared at me. Seeing her physically choose that asshole over me after lying to me about telling him about us hurt. I suddenly felt hurt and angrier than I’d ever been, even at Kyle.

  “You lied.”

  Her eyes jerked to mine and then shifted away quickly. “Can we talk about it later?”

  I shook my head. “Why not? Everything on your schedule, right?”

  “Sterling…” She met my eyes and winced at whatever she saw on my face. No other words came from her, though. She just blinked at me and stayed next to her brother.

  I turned away from her, kicking a chair out of my way and only pausing long enough to grab the bottle of whiskey that Sam was holding out for me. I shoved the door open so hard that I heard the thick wood crack, and then got in my truck. Revving the engine, I burned rubber while leaving. A trail of smoke and dust hovered in the air as I fled the bar.

  Speeding towards the track, I turned the radio up as loud as it would go to try and drown out some of the painful thoughts threatening to consume me. I was back to feeling like a reject. I hadn’t thought it could get worse than that first night.

  She’d waited until we got back to my place to tell me she would never be with someone like me. Then came the infamous dick punch. The punch hadn’t hurt as much as her words. None of that hurt as much as right now—I bared my soul to her, willing to give her everything I had, and she could still walk away from me.

  Maybe she wasn’t ready for a mate. Maybe she didn’t know what she wanted. But, the fact that she could lie to me… It wasn’t going to work out that way.

  Frustrated, I parked and got out. Sitting on the tailgate, I opened the bottle and took a long pull. I wanted her, but I didn’t want to spend every day begging her to be mine. Apparently, the only way she’d been able to be with me in public was to get sloshed, it seemed.

  “Fuck!” I tugged at my hair and growled. I needed a run. I needed something. Anything.

  Tearing off my clothes, I shifted and took off on all fours. I had nowhere to go, but everything to run from.

  CHAPTER 21: Ophelia

  What had I done?

  “I can’t believe it. After what he did, you’d let him fuck you!” Kyle was on a rampage. Instantly sober after seeing my brother attack my mate, I was driving him home in his truck. He hadn’t faired too well, even after taking cheap shots at Sterling.

  I’d messed up so bad. I knew it and I wanted to rush to fix it but I didn’t even know how.

  “Do you care so little for me? He stole my fiancée! Jesus, O!”

  I slammed the truck into park in our driveway and turned it off. I didn’t care what Kyle was saying. I was already out of there in my head, running off to find Sterling and try to make it right.

  “I know I said you could stay here, but maybe it’d be best if you didn’t.”

  That got my attention. “What?”

  He kicked the truck door closed and grunted. “You’re leaving anyway. I think you should do it sooner rather than later. I’m just hurt that you’d do this to me, O. I don’t want to see you right now.”

  “So, you’re kicking me out?”

  He nodded. “You let that animal touch you, knowing what he did to me.”

  Snapping, I kicked open the front door of the house, breaking the wood. “Oh, get off your high horse, Kyle. He didn’t do anything to you. You did it yourself. You’ve been so nasty to me. The things you’ve said to me aren’t anything I would say to my worst enemy. You find me disgusting? Fine. I find you pathetic. You’re jealous because you’re weak compared to the shifters around here. Sterling embarrassed you without even trying. You let that jealousy make you mean, though. That’s on you.

  “Mom should’ve made you deal with it when you were little, instead of forcing me to hide. There’s nothing wrong with me but there’s a whole lot wrong with you. I’ll get my stuff and go. I’m not going back to Nashville, though. I’m staying here and I’m going to be a fucking bear. With Sterling, if he’ll still have me after tonight. If you decide to stop being such a jackass, Kyle, you come and find me. I love you, but I really don’t like you.”

  I stomped up the stairs to my room and slammed the door shut. With my heart racing, I opened my phone and jammed at the buttons until I finally dialed Veronica’s number correctly.

  She answered immediately. “Holy shit, Ophelia. Are you okay?”

  I fought back tears. “Can I stay at your place? Kyle just kicked me out and I need somewhere to go.”

  “Of course! I’ve been staying with Hutch, anyway, so it’s empty right now. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

  A sob escaped. “Does Sterling hate me?”

  She sighed. “I don’t think it’s possible for him to hate you. He looked really hurt, though.”

  I hurried through the drawers, shoving clothes and other things that I might need into a duffel. I’d get the rest later. “I messed up. I didn’t mean to hurt him. I just panicked. I was wrong. So wrong. I have to talk to him.”

  “Maybe give him tonight to cool down?”

  I groaned. “He hates me. I knew it.”

  “He doesn’t hate you, Philly. Hutch went out to talk to him. I’ll meet you at my house to let you in and we can talk.”

  “Hutch probably hates me, too.”

  She sighed. “I’ll bring ice cream. You clearly need it. Meet me there, Ophelia.”

  I hung up and slipped my bag over my shoulder. Grabbing a few other things I thought I might need, I headed back down the stairs and snatched my car keys out of the bowl on the side table.

  Kyle was sitting on the couch in the living room, watching me. “Shit, Ophelia, you don’t actually have to leave.”

  I shook my head to stop whatever else he was going to say. “I need some time away from you. The things you said… You’re my brother, the only family I have left. Because of you, I may’ve just lost my mate. The one man who was made just for me. I’m going to be staying at Veronica’s. You don’t have to worry about me.”

  I left before he could say any more horrible things about Sterling, and headed to Veronica’s. The drive was short, but I still had to slow down to see through my tears. When I did get there, she was waiting on me with the ice cream ready.

  “Come sit and have a good cry, Ophelia.” She waved a spoon at me. “You can stuff your face, too. Ice cream calories don’t count when you’re sad.”

  I laughed through tears as I sat down next to her and took the spoon. I didn’t care if the calories counted or not. I was going to eat until I felt better. “Did you hear the things Kyle said?”

  She nodded. “It was ugly.”

  “Has he said stuff like that before?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t think so. You seem to be a hot button for him.”

  I sighed. “I didn’t tell Kyle about Sterling, but when Sterling asked me if I had, I was drunk and panicked. I led him to believe that Kyle knew. And then, I was just so freaked out by the hatred that Kyle was spewing tha
t I went to him to try to calm him down—shut him up. I could see the hurt on Sterling’s face, though. He thinks I chose Kyle over him.”

  Veronica was quiet for a moment and then looked over at me. “Didn’t you? From the very beginning?”

  I shook my head and shoved a spoonful of the mint chocolate chip goodness into my mouth. It didn’t taste as good as it should’ve and I groaned. “No. Not on purpose, anyway. I… I guess I did. I just couldn’t imagine hurting Kyle when he was supposedly already suffering over Presley.”

  “You’ve been rejecting Sterling the whole time. Speaking as someone who was rejected by her own mate for a long time, it’s agonizing. It feels a little like you’re slowly dying inside.”

  I dropped the spoon and leaned back on the couch. “You’re making me feel worse.”

  She gave a soft laugh. “I’m sorry, but he’s Hutch’s brother. That makes him my almost-brother. You’ve been making the man suffer and, honestly, Sterling doesn’t deserve that. He’s a good man, despite the bullpoopy that comes out of his mouth at times. He cares about you. You’re crazy if you don’t grab him and claim him as your own.”

  I threw my hands up. “I know! He’s amazing. I just… I didn’t realize. I figured the whole mate thing would wear off and we’d want different things, eventually. I didn’t see a reason to tell Kyle when we probably wouldn’t last.”

  “No way, mates are forever.”

  I glared at her. “I know that now.”

  “Then stop messing up.” She dug her own spoon into the carton and swallowed a big bite. “Hutch talks to me about things… He thinks Sterling is more sensitive than he lets on. This whole situation has really worried Hutch. He thinks it’s hurting Sterling more than Sterling is letting on.”

  Guilt turned my face red and sent me pacing the living room. “I didn’t mean to hurt him. I’m new to all this shifter stuff. I’m learning as I go, despite having been a shifter my whole life. Mom never told me anything. She did everything she could to make sure Kyle and Dad were comfortable and didn’t have to face it. She didn’t do either of us any favors. Kyle’s an ass now and I just rejected my mate because I didn’t fully understand what I was doing.