These Paper Walls

by Magan Vernon

"Yeah, I hadn't been needing any repairs for a while."

  Bubba nodded, wiping his hands off on a towel. Bubba was a wide, pot-bellied man with a thick head of stringy hair, a permanent five o'clock shadow, and grease on just about every part of his tanned complexion. "Yeah, it's a mighty fine truck you got there."

  I patted the hood of my truck. "It is. Which is why I'm hoping you could trade it for something else. Maybe a Blazer or something."

  Bubba laughed. "Shit, son, you want to trade in this beautiful thing for some beat up SUV? Because I've got it, I'm just not sure you're going to like it."

  I put my hands in my back pockets. "As long as it runs well, has air and heat, and will give me enough left over so that I can buy my girl a ring."

  I'd remodeled an entire kitchen, put in new floors in the living room, used old cabinets to make nightstands, and even put together all the furniture in Mathieu's bedroom. But none of that could compare to trying to put together baby items.

  I hunched over the plastic items in front of me and then stared at the directions. There was a picture of all the pieces, each labeled with a different letter. The second picture was the item half assembled. The third was a lady standing next to a happy baby in the little bouncer.

  Nothing with how to actually put it together.

  Libby leaned over me and put her arms on my shoulders. "How's it going?"

  "I could probably build you one of these quicker with some wood scraps than I can figure out the directions to this thing." I held up the sheet of paper that could have been written in a different language and I still wouldn't have understood it.

  Libby laughed, taking the paper and sitting down next to me. As the month was coming to a close, she was approaching her third trimester and definitely not as mobile as she used to be. Sitting down on the floor next to me looked like it was a huge struggle as she leaned back, moved her stomach, adjusting her shirt, and then finally sat with her legs straight out to the side of her, like a half-ass splits.

  I raised an eyebrow. "You sure you're okay sitting down like that?

  She rolled her eyes. "I'm not some kind of half-dead little girl. I can still move."

  "I know. You just look uncomfortable."

  "Well, there is a baby head that's poking my bladder and a baby foot that likes to kick my ribs."

  I laughed. "So you're telling me that my boy is a fighter?"

  She swatted my leg.

  "Aw, I'm kidding, baby, come here." I held my arms out and she scooted closer until she was between my legs, resting her back on my chest. I put my arms around her and let my hands rest on her stomach.

  "Does that feel any better?"

  She nestled her head into my chest. "I think you're just doing this so you don't have to put together any more baby toys."

  I picked up the directions and held them in front of us. "Naw, see, I can still work like this and now I've got two sets of eyes to help me read this damn thing."

  "I don't think I'm going to be much help. To me that just looks like three different and weird pictures. The first is a bunch of junk. The second is half put together junk. The third is a creepy baby with a mom who looks like she wants to eat him for lunch."

  I laughed at her assessment. "Hey, maybe that's how all mamas look at their babies when they're in this contraption."

  "Do you really think I'm going to stare at Mathieu with my eyes wide and mouth open like that?"

  "I've seen the way you look at bacon. You have that same face."

  She pinched my side and I winced. "Hey, no need for that."

  Libby looked up at me with a small smile on her lips. "You know you deserved that one."

  I laughed and kissed her forehead. "Okay, you're right, I did."

  Her smile fell slightly. "Do you think we're going to suck at this?"

  I shook my head. "Baby, what makes you say that?"

  She let out a deep breath. "I don't know. It's been a crazy year. We've gone from kind of hating each other, to being all over each other, to borderline hating each other again, then being all over each other and then BOOM, pregnant and wedding. Did you ever stop and think maybe we're being a little crazy here?"

  I tilted her chin up to meet my eyes. "Libby Gentry, the moment I saw you at Jackson's parents' house, I knew there was something special about you. I wouldn't call it love at first sight, because that means I would have just fallen in love with your looks. But as soon as you opened your mouth and talked to me, I knew there was no going back. I may have stumbled and acted like an ass sometimes, but you've been there for me no matter what. You've taken me back during every single one of my stupid moments and supported me in some of the biggest changes we've had in our lives. I know that no matter what curveball life throws at us, that you're going to be here. When life feels like it's closing in the walls on me, you're there to rescue me. You're like the light in my darkness or something. I don't know, I'm getting pretty cheesy now. You can stop me anytime."

  She giggled and bit down on her bottom lip. "No, it's not cheesy. It's sweet."

  I brushed her hair from her face and then trailed my thumb down her jaw line and rested it on her chin before leaning in and pressing my lips to hers. Her hands moved up and fisted my hair as she deepened our kiss, her tongue sliding along my lips before her teeth slightly nibbled at my bottom lip, causing me to moan into her mouth. Damn the girl could kiss.

  There was no urgency to get down her pants as soon as possible. No roaming hands. Just living in the moment of her sweet kiss and relishing in the feel of her body against mine.

  When she broke the kiss, my body shuddered like I was missing something. Like my lips were supposed to be on hers forever. She gave me one last little kiss, then smiled. "If we keep kissing like that, we're never going to get this thing built."

  I laughed and shook my head. "I don't know if it's going to get built anyway. Can you read these directions? Cuz I certainly have no idea what the hell is going on."

  She patted my leg and then slowly pushed off of me until she was at a standing position. "How about I go and get my phone and we try and search for something online? Surely the Internet has some kind of trick for putting this together."

  I raised my hands in the air. "Perfect! The Internet knows all!"

  She smirked and waddled back toward the bedroom.

  I leaned back over the different pieces of the toy and then stared at the directions again. "How the hell does this go together?"

  I tried sticking the piece that I thought was A to B and nothing stuck. I tried another piece. Again. Nothing.

  "Baby, where are you on those directions?" I yelled.

  No answer.

  "Baby?"

  No answer again.

  I dropped the pieces down and stood up then sauntered toward our bedroom. Libby was sitting on the bed, my phone in her hand as she stared down at it.

  "Find those directions?" I asked, leaning against the doorframe.

  She looked up at me, her eyes narrowed. "My phone was dead, so I went to charge it. Your phone was plugged in, so I unplugged it. That was when I saw a text flash across the screen. A text from someone named Julie. I thought, 'hmmm, maybe it's just some girl he works with asking about a work assignment'. Then I saw what she'd written, asking about coffee. I was curious, so of course I looked through the other texts."

  My breath caught in my lungs and my mouth went completely dry.

  I'd been caught.

  I could have said it was something innocent, but words failed me. I had no excuses.

  She was off the bed and in three quick strides was over, shoving the phone in my face. "You've been texting your ex-girlfriend for almost a month while your pregnant wife has been working her ass off! When I think you've been going to work early, you're really having fancy coffee with her!" Her words came out between sobs as she beat my chest with her free hand. "How could you? After everything you just said to me! We're having a baby and you're banging your ex-girlfriend."

  I took her hands,
stopping them from their beating. "Hey, I'm not doing anything with Julie. I just happened to see her one day at the coffee shop near my job and talked with her a bit. She's been sending me some texts since then."

  The tears streamed down Libby's face as she moved, trying to slam her tiny fists in my chest. "Yeah, texts that say she wished she wasn't sleeping alone! You're text flirting with her! And you've met her for coffee more than once! That's practically cheating. You're cheating on me, Blaine Crabtree!"

  I swallowed hard. I never thought of it like that. Cheating to me was kissing or sleeping with someone else. It wasn't just about someone else taking my time.

  But maybe Libby was right.

  Still, I wasn't about to admit that to the hysterical pregnant woman.

  "Baby. It's nothing. She means nothing."

  Libby sobbed uncontrollably, her breath coming out shallow before she screamed and pulled back, grabbing onto her stomach and her body writing in pain.

  "What's wrong, baby?" I reached for her but she pushed her hand out.

  "Don't touch me. Don't you fu" she screamed again, holding onto her stomach.

  "Libby?" I whispered, slowly taking a step toward her with my hand out. I didn't know if she was about to attack me again, but the way her body slumped and she held onto her stomach, I knew something more was up.

  "I think I need to go to the hospital. Mathieu may be coming," she yelled before she slumped to the ground, grabbing her stomach as she cried out in pain.

  ***

  I'd never driven so fast in my life.

  Libby didn't talk to me the entire way to the hospital. She just shook in pain with the occasional groans as she grabbed her stomach.

  We still had eight and a half weeks before Mathieu was due. I thought we had more time to prepare.

  I pulled into the hospital parking garage and offered Libby my hand to get out of the car, but she swatted it away and waddled past me.

  I probably deserved that.

  I followed her down the hallway until we got to the labor and delivery unit where she checked in and they brought us into a room.

  I expected it to be a delivery room, but instead it was a smaller room with a few hospital chairs that looked like the ones they had in doctor's offices.

  A younger looking nurse had Libby sit down on the table and then hooked a big band on her stomach that was connected to a machine. "We're just going to administer this non-stress test for a while and give your doctor a call. Since you're still almost nine weeks out from your due date this could just be Braxton Hicks or false contractions, but we'll continue monitoring you."

  Libby nodded, then bit down on her bottom lip, withering in pain as the lines on the screen jumped and a ream of paper came out.

  "Baby, I'm so sorry," I whispered, holding her hand.

  Libby breathed in and out through her nose and closed her eyes before shaking her head. "I don't even know what to say to you right now, Blaine."

  "Julie means nothing to me. I was stupid to even continue texting her or to meet up with her. I don't know why I did it, I guess I felt like maybe if she was coming after me then I didn't do anything wrong. That I was still a good guy."

  Libby's eyes snapped open. "That doesn't make any sense. She cheated on you. You went home and slept with half the town, then met me, the girl who you said changed your ways, but it seems like old habits die hard."

  I licked my lips. "I didn't do anything with Julie other than talk. I would never cheat on you. I love you."

  She groaned, grabbing her stomach as her breathing quickened and the lines jumped on the screen.

  Shit. This could really be happening. Mathieu could be coming.

  I put my hands on her face and stood up, leaning over her. "Libby, listen to me. I love you. I've meant every damn word I've ever said to you. You're an amazing wife and you're going to be an even more amazing mother. I guess somewhere along the way I forgot what was important and it was stupid of me to let Julie text me. It won't happen again."

  I pulled out my phone and deleted Julie's number along with all of her texts, something I should have done weeks ago. "She's gone. Never to return again. I promise."

  Libby's brown eyes met mine, the fear in them evident as she shut them slightly, moaning and grabbing my wrists as the lines on the monitor jumped again.

  For the next hour, we didn't say anything. We just stared at each other as I held onto her while she writhed in pain every few minutes.

  Finally, Libby's doctor came in. She was a younger woman with curly red hair that she had pulled in a tight bun. I always wanted to ask Libby to ask for someone older, maybe more experienced, but she seemed to like this lady.

  "Hey, Libby, how are we doing?"

  "Not really that great," Libby muttered.

  The doctor tore off the sheet of paper from the machine before unhooking Libby from it and sitting her up. Then the doctor took a wheeled stool across from her.

  "When you first came in I thought these were just Braxton Hicks, or false contractions, but with these results, it does seem like they're the real thing. If you were at least thirty-six weeks I would just see where this would take us, but since you still have a ways to go, I'd like to give you something to stop the contractions, then put you on bed rest until we're closer to the due date."

  "Bed rest? Like I have to lay in bed all day and do nothing?" Libby's eyes practically bugged out of her head.

  "Or you can sit in a chair or anything else." The doctor pinched Libby's ankles, which were more like cankles now, the rest of her legs swollen like balloons. "Your body is swollen and I'm worried about what could happen if you were on your feet all day."

  Libby looked up at me, tears falling down her cheeks. "What are we going to do?" she whimpered.

  I put my arm around her and lightly pressed my lips to her temple. "We're going to do whatever we have to do, but we're going to get through this. You and me. Together."

  ***

  By the time we finally got out of the hospital, it was dark. We weren't coming home with a baby, but with a lot of instructions that were going to severely limit Libby. She was going to call Dee about doing some work from home, but that was still going to be limited so she wouldn't deal with as much stress.

  Her income wasn't much before, but now it was going to dwindle to almost nothing. The New Orleans job was paying me a hell of a lot more, but it was taking me away from Libby and I didn't want to put any more stress on her. I was the one who basically put her in this situation with my stupidity.

  Neither of us said anything on the ride home and just listened to the radio. I wasn't paying too much attention to it until a familiar song came on. Our song.

  I pulled over to the side of the road and turned up the sound.

  "What are you doing?" Libby asked, raising her eyebrows.

  I smiled and turned on the brights, hopping out of the car and running over to Libby's side to open the door.

  "Blaine, what the hell are you doing?"

  I gave her my hand. "Get out."

  "Excuse me?"

  "Come on, the songs almost over!"

  She shook her head, but let me help her out of the car and I led her to the front of it. The music could still be heard softly and the headlights illuminated the cattails in front of us.

  "What are you doing?"

  I turned toward her, putting my arms around her waist as I pulled her close and swayed to the music. "It's our song, baby. The one we danced to at our wedding."

  She put her arms around my neck and smiled slightly. "It is, isn't it?"

  Libby leaned her head on my chest as we swayed to the music, not saying a word.

  The future was so unknown for us. Mathieu could come at any time if we weren't careful. Libby's job was questionable and I was pretty sure she still hated me.

  But in that moment, as I listened to the music and looked up at the stars, I closed my eyes and just felt her pressed against my heavily beating heart.

  This was where I
was supposed to be and I was going to make damn sure that nothing else would ruin it.

  Chapter 13

  I didn't want to leave Libby at home while I went to work.

  My mom said she'd come over and help her out since it was her day off, but it was still hard to leave her, especially so early in the morning.

  But I knew this was what I had to do.

  Instead of taking the exit to New Orleans, I took the one before it and headed to The Roads and Highway department.

  There were hardly any cars in the parking lot, but I knew it was open and that someone would be there for me to talk to.

  The building wasn't anything special. It was a big, gray structure that sat in the middle of some other utility buildings. I would have missed it if it weren't for the big wooden sign out front that was squished between the one for the water department and the other one for waste management.

  I parked my car and got out. The heat was already in the air, almost suffocating. The swampy air could melt paper it was so hot. I usually tried to put it in the back of my mind, but as I walked up the cement stairs and then entered the air conditioned building, I still couldn't stop sweating. I didn't know if it was the heat or just my nerves.

  I walked down the fluorescent lit hallway and stopped at the main glass doors before opening them and stepping into the main area. There wasn't a front desk, just a lot of cubicles that were empty. But it was as if he knew I was coming. My former foreman, Daniel Vance, was sitting in his cubicle. I didn't know who else to talk to, but I thought he would be a good start.

  "Blaine Crabtree, didn't expect to see you here," he said, standing up and giving me a brisk handshake.

  I took a seat in one of the small gray chairs near his desk. "Yes, sir. I wasn't expecting this either, but I wasn't sure who else to talk to."

  He sat in his chair and put his hands on his expansive stomach. "What can I help you with?"

  I rubbed the back of my neck. I'd rehearsed this the entire way over in the car, but now that it was real, it was harder to spit out. "Well, sir, it was awfully nice of you to recommend me for the New Orleans job and I'm eternally grateful for it."