Go Forward Slowly

by Whitney Cannon

  Ty remained quiet, only the crunching of his boots indicating he was still following them.

  “Sounds like fun,” Wes said as they approached the garishly decorated entrance to the mall. Large red and gold wrapped “packages” were stacked in a triangular fashion and ornamented with poinsettia flowers and white Christmas lights. There were posted signs telling about pictures with Santa and when you could bring in your pets in for the same pictures. Cheery holiday music played over the sound system and people bustled to and fro with their arms laden down with shopping bags.

  It should have brought a smile to Wes’s face since Christmas was one of his favorite times of the year, but his mood had been a little off-kilter all week. He was fairly sure of the cause but was just going to blame it on the gray skies instead.

  Patton pulled the door open and they all filed in, being immediately assaulted with Christmas cheer and Wes asked, “Who did you guys need to shop for? I only have my dad left.”

  “Everyone,” Patton said dramatically. “I guess between everything that has happened over the last week, I haven’t had any time to go out. Do you need to do any shopping, Ty?”

  He shook his head. “I would only get something for Riley, or maybe Hailey and John, but I don't have any money so I’ll just make them something, I guess.”

  Wes felt a wave of guilt wash over him for his sour mood. Here he was sulking over his situation with Patton when Ty had literally just lost his entire family and been thrown out of his house by his own parents. In the grand scheme of things, his problems were minor in comparison.

  “Ty. You know what my dad said. I have my emergency credit card, and he said if you wanted anything to go ahead and use it. You’re supposed to go shopping for yourself anyway, remember? Dad said for you to buy some new clothes or anything you saw that you liked that maybe you weren’t allowed to have before. Band shirts, Converse, you could even look for a new backpack if you wanted.”

  Ty looked at Patton but didn’t say anything.

  It had been decided that, together, Patton’s family would help Ty finish his current semester of his homeschool course work, but after that, he would be transferring to their public high school for the spring term. Wes couldn’t imagine never attending a public school before and wondered how Ty was feeling about the impending change. Just about everything in his life had changed over the course of the last week.

  “All I’m saying is if you see something you’d like to get for someone for Christmas, or for yourself, just let me know and we’ll get it. Besides, you’re going to be starting up with your driver's classes in January, and as soon as you get your driver's license, you’re going to be helping me out with babysitting and that will earn you some of your own money. Or, who knows? Once you have your license, maybe you’ll decide to go look for a different job somewhere else,” Patton said as they wove their way through the throngs of shoppers.

  Ty didn’t answer.

  They spent the next couple of hours combing the shops for gifts and Patton had loaded his arms with things for his sisters and both sets of parents. Wes had grabbed a cool plug-in cup holder that kept your coffee warm in your car and he thought his dad could use it for his long-haul driving.

  He hadn’t, however, been inspired by anything he’d seen that he might be able to get for Patton. There hadn’t been any hints from his boyfriend either. Patton never paused to look at anything or comment on how cool something was or said that he’d like something like this or that, and Wes kept coming up empty as they passed store after store.

  Ty had been relatively quiet as well, only commenting on things when directly questioned for his opinion. Wes wondered what was going through his mind as they saw all the smiling, happy faces around them. Christmas was supposed to be a merry time of year full of family and good times, but for Ty, he had to be feeling pretty sad and abandoned.

  “Hey, guys,” Wes said as they passed Hot Topic. “I want to look in here really quick. You guys want to go grab some pretzel bites or something from Wetzels? I’ll meet you over there in a few.”

  “You sure?” Patton asked. “We can come in with you if you want.”

  “It’s okay. I’ll only be a minute. I just want to look for something Calvin mentioned the other day,” Wes fibbed. He really wanted to look for something for Ty and couldn’t do that with him in the store. Wes wondered if Ty would be receiving any Christmas gifts this year and wanted to get him a little something just he’d know he still had family and friends who thought of him and wanted him to have something nice on Christmas morning.

  “Okay,” Patton said and gave him a quick kiss. “We’ll see you in a few. You want mustard?”

  Wes nodded and said he’d see them soon. He watched them meld into the crowd then ducked into the store. He pretty much knew what he wanted and it only took him a few minutes to find the rainbow-colored rubber wristband and keychain he wanted, and after he paid, he left and headed toward the pretzel shop.

  Ty and Patton were sitting on a bench opposite the restaurant and their heads were ducked close together as the talked quietly. Wes watched them for a minute before he approached. Ty hadn’t said more than a handful of words their entire shopping trip, but he looked like he had plenty to say once he and Patton were alone together. Patton said something to him and Ty laughed, looking back at Patton like he was the most amazing thing since peanut butter and jelly.

  Wes happened to think that about Patton as well, but then again, Patton was his boyfriend.

  As he watched, Patton bumped his shoulder into Ty’s, the gesture completely benign and friendly, but Ty leaned into it and looped his arm through Patton’s. Patton didn’t disengage but smiled and popped another pretzel bite into his mouth and continued on with whatever they’d been talking about.

  Wes’s stomach flipped. He wanted to go over there and rage at Ty to keep his hands to himself but at the same time wanted Patton to speak up and set some boundaries between the two of them. It seemed pretty clear that either Patton was completely oblivious to Ty’s attentions or he was simply allowing them because he knew Ty needed a friend. Only problem was, from where Wes was standing, it seemed like Ty wanted to be more than just friends.

  At least Patton didn’t seem to be returning any of Ty’s advances.

  Shifting the bags he’d been carrying, Wes made his way over to the pair and watched both boys closely as they noticed him approach. Patton noticed him first and his face lit up in a bright smile. He nudged Ty and the other boy withdrew his arm as he looked over, realizing Wes was only a short distance away. He blushed and had the decency to at least look guilty. Patton, however, seemed oblivious as he stood quickly and met Wes with a one-armed hug and buttery kiss.

  “Hey, babe. Get what you needed?” Patton asked as he held out the cup of pretzel bites and Wes took one and popped it into his mouth.

  “I did, yeah. Thanks for getting these.” Wes indicated the cup he was now holding. “I’m starving after all this walking around and shopping.”

  “You’re welcome. Ty was just saying that he’s never had these before, and I asked him what planet he was from. We’re going to have to introduce him to all the things he’s never had or done before,” Patton said and bent down to gather all his bags. Wes grabbed one of Patton’s many bags as well since he was still holding the pretzel bites and Patton thanked him with a smile. Patton turned back to Ty, who had gotten up as well and said, “Now. Let’s go get you those checkered Vans you wanted, and we can finally get out of here and go home.”

  Ty nodded, stuffing his hands into his pockets, and Wes was surprised when he didn’t protest. What was it about Wes that made Ty clam up? If anything, Wes could be throwing up all kinds of accusations and warnings for Ty to keep his hands to himself where Patton was concerned, but he wasn’t, and not only that, he’d just gone off and gotten the guy a gift.

  They’d never had any weird tension between them before, and Wes had suspected Ty’s interest in Patton for a while now. Things only jus
t seemed especially weird in the last week since Ty had moved in with the Deans, and Wes didn’t think he was throwing any “don’t you try to steal my boyfriend” or “I’m watching you” vibes, but, whatever it was, Ty was obviously much more comfortable around Patton now than he was around Wes.

  Maybe Wes needed to confront him and ask what was going on? But, he also needed to talk to Patton, alone. And that was something he hadn’t been able to do in a while.

  They trudged through the mall, making their way to the shoe shop and once they’d purchased Ty’s new shoes, they finally left and crunched their way back toward their cars.

  “Follow me home?” Patton asked after he’d relieved himself of all his shopping bags. Ty was sitting in the passenger seat, fiddling with the handles of his own shopping bag.

  Wes closed the back door to Patton’s car and crowded his guy up against it. He looked down into Patton’s eyes and nodded. Patton swallowed, his eyes going wider. He looked around quickly and spared a moment to make sure Ty wasn’t watching, then gripped Wes’s head and kissed him, full-on, in the back of the parking lot.

  Wes groaned, or maybe it was Patton, but even as their cold tongues met in harmony, they were already pulling apart. Neither of them apparently willing to put on too much of a public show, even if there was no one around.

  “I need you,” Wes said as he wrapped Patton up in his arms. “I miss you, and I want to talk to you.” He pressed a series of kisses along Patton’s neck. “I want you alone, and I want to do dirty things to you.”

  Patton hummed quietly, holding Wes just as tightly. “I know. Same. I want you to know, though, before you go, that I know, and the only reason I haven’t shut things down is because he needs someone right now. If I turn him away, he’s going to slip even farther than he already has, and I don’t want that to happen. He hasn’t made any obvious attempts or anything, and if he does I’ll shut it down then, but for now, thank you for being cool. I can tell it’s bothering you, and honestly, it’s bothering me a little too, but I just wanted you to know that I know, and I’m not interested, okay?”

  Wes nodded, squeezing his guy tight for a moment. “Fuck, I love you. You know me so well.” Patton chuckled into his neck. “Thank you. Can we talk tonight? I miss the shit out of you.”

  “Likewise. Yes, we’ll talk. Follow me home, and we can go out to the boathouse, okay?”

  Wes kissed his boyfriend once more for good measure, feeling totally and completely relieved and waved as he walked over a row to where he’d parked his own car. He couldn’t believe just how much those few short sentences had put him at ease and lifted a weight from his shoulders. He took in a huge breath of cold, crisp air and climbed into his car, feeling better than he had all week.

  When he pulled into Patton’s driveway twenty minutes later, they all climbed out of their respective cars, gathered their bags, and Patton opened the front door to let them into the house. Wes followed Patton and Ty upstairs, and Ty thanked Patton for the shoes and for taking him along, then closed the door to his room and left them to finally have some time to themselves.

  They didn’t squander it.

  Patton practically threw his purchases into the corner and stripped his and Wes’s coats off in seconds. They each kicked out of their shoes and tangled their arms and legs together as they quickly found themselves horizontal on Patton’s bed.

  It felt like they were starving for each other, and even though it had only been a week since they’d had time to themselves, Wes was starving for his guy. He hadn’t gone so long without having Patton to himself since they’d first gotten together, and his desire went through the roof as he explored his boyfriend’s mouth thoroughly.

  “God, it feels like forever since we’ve been together,” Patton muttered as he moved his attention over to Wes’s jaw and neck. He pulled Wes’s collar aside and sucked on the skin where his neck met his shoulder. Wes groaned and bucked his hips up into Patton’s.

  While Patton was otherwise engaged, Wes slid his hands up under Patton’s shirt, then down into the back of his pants to cup his butt and pulled him in tighter. He ground their hips together, feeling Patton’s hard dick pressing against his own and gasped as Patton pulled away, leaving him cold and wanting.

  His boy smiled down at him, lips red and swollen, looking rather pleased with himself, and quickly shucked his shirt as he double-checked the lock on his door. He unbuttoned his pants and pulled down his zipper but didn’t do anything more. Patton looked down at Wes from the edge of the bed and Wes preened, folding his arms up under his head and looking his boyfriend over from his head to his unbuttoned jeans.

  “You’re looking especially sexy right now, baby. I like where this is headed,” Wes purred, pushing his hips up and offering himself for Patton’s perusal.

  Patton watched him, his eyes glinting in the dimly lit room. Slowly, he crawled up the bed, never touching Wes, but when he reached Wes’s belly, he bit the hem of his shirt and used his teeth to maneuver the fabric up to Wes’s chest. He sat back on his haunches and looked at his feast. Wes felt himself flush at Patton’s attention, and his dick throbbed in his jeans.

  Patton leaned over him, balancing on his hands and lightly traced Wes’s stomach and belly button with his tongue. He blew a cool breath of air across his invisible trail, and Wes shivered from the sensation. Moving lower, Patton bravely sought out Wes’s hip bones and lavished each one with the same attention before moving his ministrations up to Wes’s ribs and sternum.

  Wes gripped his own hair as Patton gently explored his body, still not touching him with anything except his tongue and lips as he peppered kisses along some invisible line only he saw. He nudged the fabric of Wes’s shirt aside to reveal a nipple and gently blew on it, watching in rapt fascination as it hardened under his gaze.

  He shifted his eyes up to Wes’s.

  Maintaining eye contact, Patton lowered his mouth, and Wes held his breath as Patton’s tongue extended and flicked the hardened nub of flesh. He exhaled on a gasp as Patton smiled and did it again, this time lingering and tentatively exploring the area. Patton moved across to Wes’s left nipple and repeated the same treatment only to take it up a notch and suck the budded flesh into his mouth.

  Wes groaned as his eyes fell closed. It felt so good. He pulled his left hand out from behind his head and threaded his fingers into Patton’s hair, gently holding him in place as he sucked and licked and teased Wes’s nipple. He switched between both sides of Wes’s chest, paying equal attention to both, all the while driving Wes completely crazy with so many new sensations.

  When Patton sat back up a moment later, Wes followed him and quickly shed his shirt, throwing it to meet Patton’s on the floor. He had Patton on his back in no time and set to returning the tease with a slow exploration of his own, finally getting his hands on some of that much-loved skin.

  Patton had slimmed down considerably over the last few months, and though his muscles were not on prominent display, Wes could feel them, strong and capable, under his skin.

  He straddled Patton’s thighs, resting his hands on Patton’s chest and gazed down into the face of the boy he loved. Patton watched him, a look of adoration on his face and it filled Wes with everything he’d been missing throughout the last week. He felt the love between them and vowed to do whatever he needed to do to keep his person in his life. If it meant sharing Patton with Ty, or moving to Maine, or eating broiled chicken and roasted vegetables for the rest of his life, he would do it.

  Patton was everything to him.

  He spent the next several minutes lavishing Patton’s body with attention, even going so far as to seductively remove both of their jeans, just so he could show Patton how much he loved his body and loved what they did together when they had these moments.

  Wes ran his hands and lips and tongue over Patton’s legs and torso, purposely avoiding a certain temptation. Neither of them had really gone anywhere near that territory yet, only going so far as to touch and to jack the
other off, and Wes felt like that was enough for now. They were only sixteen, after all. And as much as Wes wanted to take the plunge and dive right into that uncharted territory, he was also slightly terrified, if he were being completely honest. Going there meant a lot of pressure and expectation that he just didn’t feel up to quite yet.

  So in the meantime, they fooled around, mostly in their underwear, teasing and testing, and Wes loved every second of it.

  Eventually, Wes made his way up to Patton’s neck, settling himself comfortably between his legs, and, wanting to return Patton’s earlier bestowal of ownership, set about doing just that, sucking gently on his skin and occasionally moving to a new location, all the while creating a nice little display of rosy, red love bites along Patton’s neck and chest as his boy squirmed and rubbed their bodies together.

  Once Wes was satisfied that Patton had been sufficiently marked and wouldn’t soon forget who he belonged with, he sat up and looked at his loved-up boyfriend.

  Patton stared up at him with his hair standing on end, breath coming in pants, hands roaming Wes’s thighs. He threaded their fingers together and gently coaxed Wes back down, aligning their chests and took his mouth in the sweetest kiss that was both soft and tender but also demanding as his hands moved to cup Wes’s butt. Patton rocked them together, kissing him and caressing his skin until all Wes could do was whimper and come in his underwear, clinging to his guy for dear life.

  They held each other for long minutes, sharing professions of love and devotion, then finally cleaned up with tissues and dressed again. Only once they realized the time, did they head downstairs, hand-in-hand, to get a jump start on dinner for their family.