Unbreakable Love

by Claire Shaw

  Taking a swig of beer, the prospect hands me, I level with him.

  “Cass that shit was not your fault. It was her crazy ex, not yours. You didn’t do shit.”

  “Exactly, I didn’t do shit to help her,” he interrupts raising his voice.

  He storms out the room slamming the door on his way out. Looking over at the table, Kate is watching the closed door. Her eyes then find mine and there is sadness in them. Their story is not over. Grabbing my beer, I head over to join them.

  “Is he okay?” Kate asks as I sit down.

  “Yeah.”

  “He’s not happy I’m back.” She seems sad by this, like she wants him to be happy.

  “He’s just dealing with some shit sweetheart. He’ll come around. We’re all thrilled as fuck your back,” I say as I put my arm around her shoulder.

  She smiles at this and nudges into my side.

  “I missed everyone too. You boys need someone to keep you in check and bail you out,” she laughs.

  Faking like I’m hurt, “You wound me. I’m a saint.”

  Tank nearly chokes on his beer, spraying the liquid everywhere, some even coming out his nose.

  “Fuck off brother,” he says between coughs.

  Kate and I crack up, laughing so hard at the look on his face. God, I needed that laugh.

  “Where’s Beau?” Kate asks.

  “He’s asleep. Only took 3 stories this time,” I chuckle realising just how much my life has changed over the last few weeks.

  Pip has bought him a load of books. He can read but not great so every night we’ve been reading at bedtime. He’s coming along great.

  “I need to sort out the paperwork for him so we can get him into school,” I remember.

  “Speak to Prez, maybe club lawyer can help,” says Tank.

  Bloody good idea and I make a note to speak to Prez after we get sorted tomorrow. My first job is getting his mum back for him.

  “Right I’m heading off, need to be rested for tomorrow,” I declare.

  “I’ll stay with Beau tomorrow. BJ has given me my own room here for as long as I need it. I’ll get sorted and then find a place of my own. Not that you guys aren’t great but I don’t wanna be living here full time. Want a place of my own,” says Kate.

  “Thanks Kate,” I say with a genuine smile on my face.

  Tank does not look happy about Kate moving out of the compound. I know he only just got his sister back but now I have Beau I understand where she is coming from. It’s not exactly peaceful at the clubhouse. But on the other hand, it is safe.

  I noticed a few days ago the land to the West of clubhouse is for sale. It's a large chunk of land. I had the idea we could pull resources and buy the land to build houses on for the core members of the club first and then anyone else who wants one. This would ensure the families are protected but also have space from the main clubhouse. I’ll need to bring it up at church after we get Carrie back. I check on Beau; boy is sleeping like a baby. Making my way to my own bed, I get settled and try to sleep. Hopefully we will be bringing Carrie back with us tomorrow.

  The next morning I’m one of the first up. Quick shower, re-check my guns and I'm ready to go. The mood in the clubhouse is mix of nervous energy and rage. We all meet in the main room.

  “We stay together as planned, no-one’s to be hero and we all come back. Watch each other’s backs. Let’s go!”

  With Prez’s orders we all head to the vans, the bikes will be too loud and alert anyone to us coming. I'm in a van with Prez, Reck, Bull, Tank, Cass, and a few others. It takes about 30 minutes to get a few miles from the cabin. We pull off the road and hide the van in the forest. From here we head to the cabin on foot. We settle at the edge of the forest and watch the cabin. All seems quiet, eerily quiet. It all feels off to me, my gut knows it.

  Nudging Tank next to me, “Somethings off brother,” I declare.

  He nods his head and gets his phone out.

  “Prez and Bull feel the same, so do a few others,” he adds.

  We wait a little long and no movement is seen inside.

  “Okay you, me and Bull are taking the front, Prez, Reck and Cass are taking the back. Everyone else to surrounds the cabin in case we need them,” Tank orders.

  Nodding, we slowly make our way towards the cabin. The uneasy feeling grows as get closer. We reach the front door and just before Tank kicks it in, I grab him to stop. Pointing at the door flecks of red can be seen. Tank lets the others know, we found blood on the front door. Slowly Tank opens the door and the smell of death hits you.

  “Fuck this is not good.” It’s out of my mouth before I could stop it.

  There is blood everywhere and there has definitely been a fight. The place is trashed. The others come from the back and confirm the kitchen is much the same. Heading down the hall, smudges of blood are everywhere, as if someone was running. My heart drops thinking this could be Carrie’s blood and we could be too late. The bathroom is clear and the other bedroom. Reck opens the door that seems to lead to the basement; he heads down with Bull behind him. Tank and I carry on down the hall towards the remaining bedroom; the smell of death is getting stronger. Pushing the door open, a man's body is slumped in the corner. Blood is everywhere, pooling around the man. Clearly, he is the smell of death. Prez joins us in the bedroom.

  “This is the guy from the video,” he states.

  My head turns to Prez. “How do you know? We never saw his face.”

  Turning to face me, I can tell by his face he doesn’t want to tell me.

  “There was one other video that we didn’t share with anyone. He showed his face in it,” Prez explains.

  “You kept another video from us?” I rage. My hands are fished at my side and I’m shaking. Tank places his hand on my shoulder. Not sure if it’s to calm me, hold me back or because he’s feeling the same level of rage as me.

  “This video was different from all the others. It was more like couple porn. You could tell she wasn’t willing but it was softer,” he confirms. “You didn’t need that shit in your head. From the video you would think he loved her. So yes, I kept it from you,” Prez adds wearingly.

  I start to settle a little. He was right, that shit would have fucked with me more but I’m still pissed. Storming from the room, I meet everyone else outside.

  “She’s not here. The sick fuck that had her is dead in the bedroom.”

  “Could she be elsewhere?” one of the other guys calls out.

  Just as I start to think about that question Tank and Prez come running from the cabin.

  “Get to the vans quick,” shouts Prez.

  We all take off running, fuck what’s going down now!

  Chapter Thirteen

  Carrie

  Slowly I start to come back around. My head is pounding and my body hurts all over. Shaking I attempt to sit up. The pain is worse now I’m sitting up straight. Taking a look around, I’m still in the cabin. He is slumped in the corner blood pooling around him. You can smell the death in the air. Fuck I killed a man. I know it was either him or me but I still look life.

  I’m shaking as I try to stand, holding onto the dresser for support. I need to get out of here before one of his, ‘guests,’ come. Who only knows what would happen if they got a hold of me? Grabbing my bag from under the bed, I pull some clothes and my personal bits I can’t live without, throwing them into the bag. In the bathroom I grab some medical supplies and anything else I may need. I have no clue where I am but I know where I’m going. I’m going home.

  After grabbing what I can, I find the car keys and head outside. The car is parked at the side of the cabin. Throwing my bag in the seat next to me, I get in and drive down the hill towards the road. Once I’m at the end of the drive, I need to decide which way to turn, left or right. After sitting there for a few moments trying to decide, I follow my gut and turn left. I keep driving until I pass through a small town and out onto the main highway. I
’ve not been driving for too long when I see a sign that makes my entire body tingle with happiness. Home!

  I was closer than I knew. Heading in the direction the sign says, I follow the road, until it all starts to look familiar. My head is feeling woozy again, so I put my foot down and head for the compound; praying it is still in the same place. Just as I come round the bend, the gates are up ahead, all lit up, guiding me home. I’m getting dizzy and know I’m going to pass out again soon. I put my foot down more and head straight for the gates, passing out just before I crash through them.

  I wake up as I’m being carried, looking up I see a face I will never forget.

  “Wolf,” I gasp.

  “Oh, thank fuck. I got you girly.” I can sense the worried tone in his voice.

  Curling up further in his arms, I finally feel safe. I made it, I’m home. With that thought I pass out again.

  I wake again and this time I’m laid on something soft. I don’t seem to be able to move anything and the pain is unreal. I can hear voices.

  “Doc, why isn’t she waking up?”

  “Calm down son. She has been through hell and her body needs time to heal. Also, her mind will too. She will wake up when ready.”

  I know those voices. It’s Jason and Doc. I want to tell them I’m awake, I’m here but my stupid body won’t listen. The blackness starts to claim me again.

  “Please Babydoll, just open those pretty blue eyes for me. I need you baby. Beau needs you. Please come back to us.”

  Jason’s voice wakes me. He’s gripping my hand and I feel wet on my hand. Is he crying? I want to go to him. I want to see his smile again. Why won’t my stupid body do as its told. The blackness once again claims me.

  Another voice wakes me this time and it’s a voice I’ve missed for so long.

  “Angel, I’m so sorry. I’ve been a useless father. I should have never left you. I thought your mother would have cared for you. I’m so sorry I left you with her. Johnny is here too. Please wake up so we can all be together. I’ve meet my grandson; he’s a right little comedian. He’s amazing angel. You’ve done so well with him. I’m proud of you angel. Please, please come back to me.”

  Daddy? He’s here? It makes my heart soar that he’s meet Beau and loves him. I really want to wake up. I want to be with my family but it hurts too much.

  “Carrie, I need you to wake up. Joker, he’s not doing so well. We’ve lost you once and we don’t want to lose you again, he won’t survive losing you twice. He never stopped looking for you, none of us did.”

  Scott, he’s mine and Jason’s best friend. But who is Joker?

  “Please Carrie; I need my best girl back. Joker and me…. Crap, sorry. Jason. We patched into the club. Jason’s road name is Joker and mines Tank. I’m not the scrawny little boy anymore Carrie. Please come back to us.”

  I’m so happy they both got their wish and patched into the club. It was all they talked about growing up. How they were going to be just like Bull, BJ, and my dad. They deserve to be part of the club. I wonder if it’s changed much since I was last here. That is my last thought as the blackness comes again.

  “Sis, can you hear me? You need to wake up as everyone is freaking the fuck out. I know you’re strong and you’ll come back to us when you’re ready. I just wanted to thank you for everything you did for me, to protect me. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without you. You truly are the greatest sister, I love you. Rest and come back to us when you’re ready.”

  A tear slowly falls down my cheek. Johnny!

  Waking I feel a whole lot better; the pain isn’t so bad. I can feel a little hand in mine and a soft kiss on my hand.

  “Mamma I miss you. Daddy says your poorly and need sleep to feel better. I’m glad daddy is looking after you. I miss you mamma. I want to show you my awesome room and the bike that Grandpa Reck bought me that matches with daddy’s. I even have my own kut as BJ, he’s the Prez, said I’m part of the club.”

  Beau! That voice is music to my ears. He sounds so confident and strong. Clearly being at the club has been the best thing for him. I tried to move my hand and manage to move my fingers a little.

  “DADDY,” Beau screams, thundering boots sound round the room.

  “Beau, what’s the matter?” Jason asks hurriedly.

  “Mamma moved her fingers,” he declares.

  The second he finishes his sentence, his hand is replaced in mine by a large, rougher hand.

  “Babydoll, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”

  I can hear the desperation in his voice. I try with all my strength to squeeze his hand. I hear the sharp intake of breath when I manage it.

  “Get Doc, she squeezed my hand.”

  Opening my eyes, I'm greeted by Jason’s handsome face leaning over me.

  “Jason,” I croak. God my throat is sore.

  “Fuck, Babydoll. You scared the shit out of us,” he puffs out with a nervous laugh as he swipes his hand across the top of his head.

  Jason has tears running down his face. Beau is dancing next to him, singing something about me being awake.

  “Don’t swear in front of Beau,” I chastise him

  “Awake two seconds and you're already busting my balls.” he smiles as he says this causing me to smile too.

  At that moment, my dad, Scott, Johnny, and Doc burst into the room.

  “Hi Guys,” I croak.

  Dad rushes to my bedside and grabs my hand, tears running down his face. Scott moves closer to Jason, placing his hand on his shoulder as a gesture of support. Johnny stays near the door, seeming unsure of where his place his.

  Reaching out my other hand towards Johnny I say “Johnny, come here.” He takes a moment and slowly shakes his head.

  “Kid she’s okay,” Jason confirms.

  Beau walks over to his uncle and tugs on his sleeve. Johnny looks down at him, while Beau slowly takes his hand and pulls him over to the other side of my bed.

  “It’s okay Uncle Johnny, Mamma’s a badass,” Beau declares.

  The silence in the room is broken when we all burst out laughing. God! My kid rocks! I can’t even be mad at him for his language. Johnny sits on the side of the bed and I reach for him.

  “I see you grew up good.”

  A huge smile stretches across his face.

  “I missed you sis,” he says as a lone tear escapes from his left eye.

  “Missed you too kid,” I reply as I quickly wipe it away.

  Looking at the cut he’s wearing I start to smile.

  “Guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

  Everyone laughs.

  “Yeah, the brothers found me and took me in. I’ve been living here at the compound since then,” Johnny confirms.

  I’m really glad Johnny had the guys to help him while I couldn’t. At least he had a loving family.

  “Angel, what can you tell us? What do you remember?” my dad asks using my old nickname he called me when I was little.

  I knew Dad and probably the rest of the guys want to know what happened and where I have been all this time. I vaguely remember hearing bits of conversations while I was asleep.

  “Come now brother, plenty of time for all that. Why don’t you all go tell everyone the good news, while I check the patient over,” Doc orders.

  With kisses and hugs they all leave, except Jason. I knew he wouldn’t be going far. Doc checks me over, hissing a little when he checks my ribs, causing Jason to leap out his chair and race to my side.

  “Fuck Doc, she’s hurt enough,” he exclaims.

  Giving him a side eye, Doc continues my examination.

  “Sorry son, but I’m going as gently as I can. Need to check if any are broken. Good news looks like their just badly bruised. You’re going to be sore for a while,” confirms Doc.

  He’s looking like he wants to say more but is debating saying it.

  “Just ask what you need to Doc,” I say, p
lacing my hand on his arm

  “I hate to ask this, but I need to run an internal exam. I’m sorry Carrie; I really do hate to say this.”

  You can see the pain written across his face, looking over at Jason, pain and anger is also showing on his face. Fuck this can only mean one thing.

  “You’ve seen the videos, haven’t you?” I confirm.

  A look of guilt flashes across both their faces that tell me I’m right. Fuck I didn’t want anyone to ever see them. I knew they would be shown somewhere as otherwise why would he film us to start with. But god I was praying it was for his own sick pleasure.

  “Who else has seen them? Has everyone seen them?” I’m starting to panic now; I try to sit up but Doc stops me. “No Doc, tell me!” I cry out.

  I’m shouting now and getting more upset but I don't seem to be able to calm down. I can feel the tears on my checks. This can’t be happening, from the look on their faces, I know everyone has seen them. Well at least all the brothers. I can’t handle this.

  “Get out. GET OUT!” I scream.

  I turn over so my back is to them and pull the cover up to my chin so I’m fully covered.

  “Carrie,” Jason starts to say with his hand on my shoulder.

  Moving so he can’t touch me, “Don’t touch me. Just leave me alone,” I beg.

  “Come on son, let’s give her a moment,” says Doc in a defeated tone.

  A few moments later I hear the door open and then close, once it’s closed the dam breaks and I sob into my pillow. Fuck, they all know what happened to me. Do they think less of me? Are they disgusted at the sight of me?

  I cry until I can’t cry anymore, too exhausted to do anything but fall to sleep.

  I wake the next morning feeling like I’ve got a hangover from all the crying. A fresh bottle of water and some Advil are on the bedside table. Taking the tablets and a drink of the water, I slowly make my way to the bathroom to take care of business.