Renewed (Shattered #3)

by Heather D'Agostino

  "No, not really, but Aaron's with him all the time," Avery lifted a shoulder and looked away.

  “Avery,” I reached for her and patted the spot beside me "Cam's a great guy. He'd be lucky to have you, and I think he likes you but he's scared."

  "Scared of me?" Avery whispered.

  "Yeah," I nodded. "He's got more than himself to worry about now. I'm sure he wants to make sure that whoever he brings around wants to be part of Aaron's life as much as they do his."

  "I didn't think about that," Avery mumbled. "Logan's been a complete ass lately," she looked away as she choked back a sob. "He stopped returning my calls, and changed his number."

  "Oh Avery!" I gasped as I reached to wrap her in a hug. "Logan doesn't deserve you. Whatever's going on with him…you need to let him go. He's not worth all this hurt."

  “I know,” she wiped at her eyes. “I just thought I’d finally found the one, you know?”

  "I know," I tugged her toward me so she could rest her head on my shoulder. "What does you mom think of all the time off you've been taking from work recently?"

  "She knows I'm here with you," Avery giggled lightly. "She told me to stay as long as I want."

  “Seriously?” I brightened up with the possibility of Avery spending an extended vacation with me. “You know you can use the guestroom as long as you like, right?”

  "That's the plan," she turned and grinned at me. "Cam's staying on the couch. Nick told us we couldn't have the other room that it would be the baby's, and he needed to get it ready."

  "Really?" I smirked. "So he thinks Cam's going to stay on the couch with you here?"

  "What do you think is going to happen Leah?" Avery leaned back and scowled.

  "I think that you two like each other, he doesn't have his kid with him, and there's only one bed available between the two of you," I snickered as I watched her blush. "What? You know it's the truth."

  "Maybe, but still," she trailed off as she shifted beside me.

  “So you’re telling me that if he asked you if he could stay in there with you, you’d tell him no?” I sucked my upper lip into my mouth and grinned.

  "I don't know," Avery flopped back and tossed her arm over her face so her eyes were covered. "When did life get so hard?" she grumbled.

  "What do you mean?" I nudged her.

  "All this…babies, commitment, death?" she mumbled, "I wanna go back. Back to worrying about what clothes to wear, or who had the coolest shoes. Why can't we just go back?"

  "I don't know if I want to," I turned to glance out the window. The sun was shining, and a light breeze blew across the dunes. "I mean…there's a lot I think I wish didn't happen," I turned back towards her, "but if I changed my past…I'm not sure I'd be where I am right now. I'm happy Avery. Nick and I have a future in this life."

  "Are you sure about that," her eyes darted down to stare at my bulging belly.

  “I am,” I jerked my head quickly. "I may not like the way things are playing out, but some of the best things in life aren't planned."

  "I guess," Avery mumbled. "I just…" she trailed off.

  "Just what?" I reached out and placed my hand lightly on her shoulder.

  She turned to glance up at me as a single tear trailed down her cheek, "I can't lose you."

  "You won't," I reached for her to pull her into a hug. "I'm not going anywhere…this baby and I are going to be fine," I squeezed her tight, and once my face was out of her sight, I let my smile falter slightly. I knew I couldn't predict what was going to happen to me, but I was going to fight. Fight for myself and the life inside me. I was never one to give up on anything, and I wasn't about to start now.

  Avery pulled back slightly as she sniffed and wiped at her eyes, "Look what you did to me." She giggled awkwardly, "I came here to cheer you up, and you've got me sobbing while you comfort me. It's supposed to be the other way around."

  “Naw,” I shrugged and feigned indifference. "I don't mind."

  “Well,” Avery glanced toward the window I’d been staring at for a while. “I know it’s a little chilly out, but…” she motioned outside. “Wanna go out on the deck? We can get a little sun and fresh air. I know you've gotta wanna get out of here."

  "That sounds heavenly," I groaned. "Let me grab some sweats and a jacket," I looked around for a blanket for my lap. It was sunny so it would be warm, but the wind was blowing, and I was sure if the sun dipped behind a cloud I would get cold.

  "I'll meet you by the door," Avery grinned as she hopped up off the bed and bounced out of my room.

  “Sounds great,” I stood and shuffled into the closet to find a pair of Nick’s sweats.

  Did I have my own? Sure. Did I want to wear them when I could wear Nick’s? Not really. After dressing myself in the warm cotton, I buried my nose in the sleeve. Nick’s cologne wafted up causing me to shiver slightly. I’m not sure what it is, maybe the lack of sexual contact, but the illusion of being wrapped in his arms always sent my body into a tailspin.

  When I rounded the corner into the living room, Avery was standing by the door. “Ready?” she slid it open and stepped out.

  "More than ready," I giggled and wrapped the sweatshirt tighter around me. I needed this…fresh air, and an afternoon with my bestie. What could be better?

  Chapter 5

  Nick

  When we pulled into the Target parking lot, I was feeling pretty confident with my decision to get started on the nursery. Now as I stand here on one of the numerous aisles of baby stuff, I don’t know what I was thinking. There’s so much, and some of it I’m not even sure we need, or what it does.

  “Can I ask you a question?” my brother suddenly broke the silence as he turned to me.

  “Sure,” I nodded my head as I squatted down to read the print on the side of another box.

  "Why did you ask me to come with you today?" Cam nudged me with his boot.

  "You're a dad," I shrugged my shoulders. "I thought you could help."

  "Dude," he chuckled. "Sarah's mom bought most of the stuff that I have."

  “Huh?” I stood and turned towards him.

  “Sarah’s mom…she showed up one day with a carload of stuff. I just used whatever she gave me,” he began moving down the aisle. "I'm not real sure how much of this you're gonna need."

  "You've got to be shitting me," I groaned. "Are you good for anything anymore?" I shook my head at him. My brother was always the one needing help, now that I needed it from him he seemed to not be able to provide it.

  "I'm kidding man. Come on," he motioned for me to follow him. "You need to start with the big stuff."

  I turned and followed him around the corner, and was met with a long row of cribs. Cam was laughing as he looked at my face, “You should your face Bro…it’s priceless."

  “Not cool Bro…not cool at all,” I growled at him.

  "Sorry," he sighed. "I thought you needed to lighten up. I know it's been a rough couple of days for you."

  "I do," I narrowed my eyes at him. "But I don't think that was the way. Now…what's first?"

  "You need one of these," he clamped his hand down on the side rail of one of cribs near us. "There are all kinds, but Aaron has the convertible kind."

  “Convertible? What does it convert to?" I wrinkled my forehead at him.

  Cam cocked his head to the side, "Uh…it goes from a crib to a toddler bed, to a big boy bed."

  I pursed my lips together as I circled one of the dark wooden monstrosities, “Holy shit! It’s $1000? What the hell is it made out of?” My eyes went wide as I watched Cam grip his middle and almost fall over laughing at me.

  “I’m telling you…it’ll be worth it. You don’t need to buy another bed for the kid for the rest of its life," he shook his head at me.

  "But still…that's a lot of money," I sighed. "Why can't I just use a box of something…you know like we used to put the frogs and turtles we'd catch?"

  Cam started laughing again and gasped for air as he glanced at me, "This i
s your kid. He can't live in a box."

  "How much is all this going to cost," I grumbled as I started looking at the prices of some of the other cribs for sale.

  "A lot…for next eighteen years," he pinched the bridge of his nose.

  "Ok," I blew out a breath. "What's next?"

  "Well, you need a changing table, stroller, high chair, some clothes, toys…do you want me to keep going?" he grinned at me and paused.

  “Um…I think I might have under-estimated how hard this was going to be," I fingered another price tag. "Let's get someone to help us. I'm going have to make a list of the ones I want."

  "All right," Cam nodded. "You pick out the crib you want, and I'll go find someone who works here. I think between the three of us, we can get it done."

  “Yeah, ok,” I shooed him away as I started reading labels again. Today was not what I thought it would be at all. I figured I’d come here, make a few choices, and leave. I had no idea how many decisions had to be made just to choose a crib.

  A moment later Cam reappeared with a young woman dressed in a red shirt and khakis. "This is Julie. She's gonna help us," he grinned.

  “Where do we start?” I motioned.

  "Well, did you pick a crib?" Cam pointed to the sea of objects in front of me.

  "I did," I turned and gripped the dark cherry side of my choice. "I want this one."

  "Very good," Julie smiled as she pulled a slip of paper from the tag that was hanging on the side of the crib. "We have this one in stock, and I can have someone bring it up to the front of the store when you're ready to leave."

  "Now what?" I looked between the two of them.

  "Now we get all the things that go with it to furnish the nursery. Are you having a boy or a girl?" Julie began to walk toward the sheets and crib bumpers.

  “We don’t know yet. We’re going to find out next week,” I mumbled.

  "Well, I would hold off on anything gender specific until then unless you want a nursery that's all green and yellow."

  “Ok, so about these strollers,” I pointed to the row behind me. “I run a lot. Is there one I can buy where I can take my kid for a run on the beach?”

  "Yep. There's something for almost any situation now. It all depends on how much you want to spend," Julie grinned at me.

  When I looked at the tag on the stroller she suggested, I just about passed out from sticker shock. “This is insane!” I gasped. “I can’t believe all this stuff costs this much.” As I stood there with my hands on my knees, I could hear Cam and Julie laughing behind me. Cam had mumbled something about me not quite understanding what being a parent was all about, and Julie had just giggled. She fucking giggled at me, and then she reached around me to tug another tag off the stroller in front of me.

  By the time we were ready to leave, I had a cart full of stuff along with a stack of tags that Julie had collected. I was almost afraid to look at the total when we got in line to check out. As the cashier began scanning the items that I had placed by the register, I slowly watched my nights out with the guys disappear one onesie at a time. My life was going to change dramatically in the next several months, and I only hoped that I'd survive it. Leah wanted me to choose this baby over her, and I still wasn't sure I could do it.

  ooooooooo

  When we arrived back at the beach house, Cam helped me unload my truck. We dragged all the baby stuff into the garage and piled it up. I knew I needed to paint the room we were going to use, and I wanted to keep all of this stuff hidden from Leah. I was silently hoping that I'd be able to set the entire nursery up without her knowing. I wanted to have at least one surprise for her. With the way, I acted when she told me about this baby, and now with all the problems she was having with the pregnancy, I hoped I could bring a little bit of joy into the situation.

  After climbing the stairs up to the deck, I paused to take in the sight. There was my girl curled up on one of the loungers sound asleep. She had a blanket tucked up to her chin, and was dressed in my sweats. Avery was sitting in a chair beside her reading a magazine. She glanced up at me and smiled before going back to her reading.

  “I wanted to get her out of the house to get some fresh air,” she whispered as she turned a page. “She needs to get out of that room every once in a while. You're going to drive each other crazy if she doesn't."

  "Thanks," I mumbled softly. "For everything."

  "You're welcome. Were you successful today?" Avery looked around like she was searching for something.

  “I think we were,” I tugged on my lip as I moved to sit in one of the empty chairs. "So," I looked around to see where Cam had gone to. "What's up with you two?"

  "What do mean?" Avery avoided looking at me as she shifted in her chair.

  "I mean," I leaned closer and whispered "you two were really chummy back in Pittsford, you came out here together, and I see the way my brother looks at you."

  "It's nothing," Avery sighed and began thumbing through the magazine once again.

  “I don’t think so,” I slowly shook my head. Before I could utter another word, Cam appeared in the doorway. "Speak of the devil," I grinned.

  "What? What'd I miss?" Cam shifted on his feet.

  "Nothing," Avery growled as she closed the magazine angrily on her lap.

  “Leave her alone,” Leah interrupted us from her position beside me.

  I jumped slightly at her voice, "I didn't even know you were awake.

  "I wasn't until just a few minutes ago," she opened one eye and glared up at me. "You pestering her is what woke me."

  "I'm sorry," I murmured as I leaned over her and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You want some help getting back to bed? You seem really tired today."

  "Sure," she yawned as she began to sit up.

  "I've got you," I stood and scooped her into my arms. When I turned to head into the house, I called over my shoulder, "You two behave…no hanky panky on my deck. I have neighbors."

  I heard Avery growl before firing back, "That didn't stop you from having sex in your pool."

  I froze mid-step before looking down at Leah who had now buried her face into my chest, "You told her?"

  Leah nodded against me, "We're best friends. We tell each other everything. Besides," she peered up at me and smirked, "it was worth retelling."

  “It was huh?” I began walking towards the bedroom again. “I'm that good?"

  “You’re better than good Babe,” she murmured as she craned her neck so she could place a kiss to the side of my neck.

  I groaned as I felt her tongue peak out and take a swipe at me. "Leah," I warned. "Don't start something that we can't finish."

  "Who said we can't finish?" her seductive whisper was about to be my undoing.

  “The doctor said,” I began but was cut off when she pressed her fingers to my lips.

  By this point, we'd made it to the bedroom. I placed Leah on the bed and climbed in beside her. She rolled onto her side and trailed her hand down the front me at an achingly slow pace. When she reached my hard-on, she gave it a light squeeze before rubbing it with her knuckles. "There's a lot we can do without actually having sex. Don't you remember what it was like when we were teenagers?"

  “Yeah…I remember,” I gasped when she tugged at the waistband of my shorts, and slipped her hand inside. “That was a p…painful time for me,” I stuttered.

  “You’ve been so sweet to me Nick. I’m gonna take care of you now,” her breath blew across my lips before she descended on them.

  Yeah, she was gonna take care me…she was going make me forget who I was.

  Chapter 6

  Nick

  How this day had gone from crib shopping to the heavy make-out session that was occurring in my bed was beyond me. It didn’t even feel like the same version of us. It had been years since Leah and I had engaged in something like this. When we first started going out she was innocent, more innocent than I knew. I had lost my virginity at fifteen with some nameless girl at a party. I mean, I was a guy a
nd all I thought about was sex. Leah though, she was so tentative and shy when we'd make out. She was always pulling back and putting a stop things. I had just about given up on the idea that we'd ever have sex. I mean we were together for over a year before she finally gave in to me. I always made sure I didn’t pressure her, but I knew that my frustrations with the situation were glaringly obvious. The first time she touched me like she's doing now, I just about died.

  "You trust me, right?" I ran my knuckles along her jaw.

  Leah nodded as she turned her gaze downward. She stared at the ridge in my shorts and swallowed. "Does it hurt?" she bit her lower lip as her hand hovered over me.

  "Um..." I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath. "Sometimes," I sighed.

  “I'm sorry," Leah mumbled as she turned away from me. "I'm just…"

  “I know,” I gripped her chin and forced her to look at my eyes. “I know,” I reassured her as I pressed my mouth to hers.

  She gave in willingly as I parted her lips and slowly let my tongue resume what it had been doing moments earlier. We’d come out to an empty dirt lot out in the middle of nowhere. I’d found it one day when I was driving my truck around. I knew when I’d passed it that it would be a perfect spot to park and make-out. There were enough trees to hide the truck behind, and no one seemed to know about the place. I’d finally decided tonight after we’d finished at the movie theater, I’d bring Leah by and try out this spot.

  We’d been here for about an hour now, and the windows were officially fogged up. It was a cool night, so I’d left them rolled up, but now it was quite steamy sitting here in the cab. Leah always put a stop to things before they got to the point of touching, but tonight she seemed to want to let me take it further. We'd been dating now for about six months. Six long months of me waiting. I knew I had to feel something for this girl because if it were anybody else, I would have bailed a long time ago.

  Tentatively, I let my hand coast down her side. I paused at her hip before drifting towards the bottom of the denim skirt she was wearing. She stiffened slightly, and stopped reacting to my kiss.