If You Hold Me (A Sugar Maple Novel Book 4)

by Ciara Knight

  The room fell you-stupid-man silent.

  “Um, I’m so sorry, Mrs. McCadden. Serena called, and she can’t open the store this morning. I just came by to bring you some coffee to say thanks for the invite.” Mary-Beth made for the door.

  “Wait.” Tanner blocked her path, but his mom’s spatula shooed him once more.

  “Of course, dear. No worries. Let me just pack you some breakfast to go.”

  Mary-Beth turned away from him as if he were a stranger. “You don’t need to do that.”

  “You’d be doing me a favor. I don’t need these sitting around for me to eat.” She grabbed a Tupperware container and slid some hot cakes, eggs, and bacon into it. Tanner only stood there dumbfounded, feeling like he had to do something, anything.

  He grabbed the coffee and downed a gulp, certain he could pull off liking it, but he gagged. Not a little gag, but a run-to-the-sink, heaving kind of gag. The cloves were way too much for him to ignore.

  “Here, hon. I’ll walk you out.” Only the sight of his mom’s blue shirt moved in his peripheral vision.

  He grabbed a dish towel, swiped the remanence from his lips, and then raced after her, but by the time he reached the door, his mom was like a fifty-foot-tall blockade against the enemy.

  “You don’t even think about going after her. We need to talk. Do you know nothing about women? I thought you were some sort of college stud. Maybe you are a clueless, self-absorbed one.”

  He winced, realizing part of her words were true, given his womanizing phase to overcompensate the loss of his football glory. It was short-lived and had left him empty inside. He wasn’t that man now. “Ouch. Harsh much?”

  “Only saying what I see, son.” That darn spatula conducted him back to the kitchen. “Sit. We need to chat. You’ve heard of the birds and the bees, right?”

  “Mother…”

  She passed him his hot cakes. “Do you want me to fill you in on what you did that was wrong? Because based on that dumb-as-mud expression you’re wearing, you don’t get it.”

  He grabbed his now-aching head. “Please.”

  “I’m going to share with you some Elder secrets that you need to never let them know I told you or I’ll be erased from the Sugar Maple good-gossip line.”

  “Seriously? That’s a real thing?”

  “Promise or I’m out of here.”

  “Fine, promise.” He looked at the once-mouthwatering cakes and didn’t want to take a bite. His stomach still swished and swirled from that awful concoction.

  “First off, you are dismissive of the fact that Mary-Beth is a Coffee Whisperer.”

  “She believes that? I mean really believes it?”

  Mom gave him the shut-up-or-I’m-gone look, so he sealed his trap.

  “Mary-Beth is the coffee whisperer. Believe it now, or you might as well walk, because that is her main identity. You have football. She has coffee.”

  “Okay, so I believe it.”

  “Nuh-uh. Don’t even try to faux believe.” She sat down and put that dreaded spatula on the table between them. “I need you to open your ears and hear me.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “No, you’re not. You don’t really believe in her shine. You don’t like her coffee, so you think she’s bad at her job. If you did believe, you’d understand that Mary-Beth has a 1000-0 undefeated record, and you are making it 1000-1. She’s intuitive with people, knows them, understands them.”

  “But with me she can’t get it right.” He palmed his head. “And I just spewed all over her record.”

  “Exactly.”

  “But what was I supposed to do? I tried to drink it. You saw.”

  “Oh, I saw you fumble on a winning pass. What would you do if you were 0-1 at the state championship with ten seconds left on the clock? Nothing to lose but the game if you don’t score on this last play. Would you run the same play that failed three downs in a row?”

  “No.”

  “Then what do you think you should do?”

  “Pull a Hail Mary,” he said, but despite his words, his brain wasn’t translating football to how to fix things with Mary-Beth. “But how do I do that? What’s my next play? I mean, plan. Geesh, mom, stop with the football analogies and tell me what to do.”

  “You believe in her the way she’s always believed in you. Make her the star of your relationship for once. Become the coffee groupie.”

  “Is that a thing?” He quirked a brow at her.

  “It is now. Think about it. You chose a different school for the fame of playing for a team like Notre Dame. You chose that over your relationship.”

  “But I wanted her to come with me. It was going to be for us.”

  “No, Tanner. It was for you. She would’ve been an ornament on your Christmas tree of life. Don’t you think it’s her turn? Now, you go to that coffee shop, and you help her figure out what you like. Enjoy her tastings, be an active participant in her business. Suck it up and leave that football field long enough to show her you care about her life and her business and what she’s good at.”

  “I do care. Of course I care. I’m proud of who she’s become.”

  “Did you tell her that?”

  He blinked at her. “No, but she knows.”

  His mom reached for that darn spatula again, and he shoved from the table. “If she doesn’t, I’m going to tell her right now.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  The strong, successful, emotionally available, and solid Seth Dufour entered the shop and sat at the front counter. “Hey, there.”

  Mary-Beth straightened her apron and forced a friendly smile but wasn’t in the mood to deal with guilt for not liking the perfect man on paper in front of her. Why did she have to care so much about a football-playing farmer who didn’t understand business? “What can I get for you?”

  “Anything that you’ll make me. I trust you.”

  Why couldn’t that be Tanner? “Actually, I was working on some samples for today. I’ve been wanting to try some new blends. Would you mind?”

  He stood, removed his coat, set it on the back of the stool, and then sat down. “I’d be happy to, thanks. I enjoy being a part of creating new things. That’s actually partly why I’m here. What you said the other night made me think about what I really wanted in life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not converting to being a farmer to win you over, but I will be changing my career. Yes, this is lucrative, but I’m into making things happen more than numbers. I’m going to start investing in some various businesses I believe in and helping them grow.”

  She mixed and steamed and poured. “That sounds exciting. I know I’ve found great joy in building this place.” She looked around at the pictures on the walls that Jackie had ordered from some chic New York place that set the tone for the southern country couture look of her cafe. The countertops that Stella had installed, and the special serving dishes for parties resting on the back rack that Ms. Horton had given her. The dried floral arrangements from Felicia, and the glass cake container that Carissa gave her. This was her favorite place next to the lake and tree house.

  “That’s why I’m here. I’d love to hire you as a consultant to look over some coffee shops I’m considering backing. I want to know if you believe they are good investments.”

  She hesitated, not wanting to lead Seth on. Despite her confusion over her renewed attraction to Tanner, she was sure of one thing. Seth wasn’t the right man for her. “I’m sorry, but I have to ask… Is this an excuse to spend time with me?”

  He folded his hands as if in prayer and rested his elbows on the counter. “Yes, but not the only reason. I think you have the wrong impression of me, and I’d like an opportunity to show you I’m not a one-dimensional guy who only thinks of money.”

  “But…” She pushed several shot glasses in front of him. “Listen, my heart is still confused, and I’m all mixed up.”

  “I understand, and I promise I’m not desperate enough to push you into anything. You know, some women w
ant to date me.” He adjusted his tie, and there was no doubt the sophisticated, attractive man had women lining up for a chance to date him. She also knew a man like that liked a challenge, and that’s what made him pursue her.

  “I have no doubt.”

  “Listen, beyond my attraction to you, I can really use your help. Will you do it?” The sincerity of his words was etched in the lines around his wide eyes. She’d never seen him look that animated over his current job before.

  She thought about it for a moment, but before she could answer, the front door opened and in strutted Tanner. “Sure, I’d be happy to,” she said in a rush.

  A few other people filtered in, and Tanner stood by like a lost puppy. Mary-Beth almost felt sorry for him as he watched Seth interact with her at the counter. Once the crowd cleared out, he shifted his stance, and she knew that look. He was readying for his big play.

  “Hi there. I hope you don’t mind, but I wanted to come in and try some of your coffee.” He sounded less…sure of himself. The broad-shouldered, commanding man looked apprehensive.

  “Okay, but give me a few minutes.” She turned to Seth and leaned over the counter toward him. “So, what do you think of that one?”

  “Delicious. Everything you make is delicious.”

  “Suck up much?” Tanner mumbled under his breath.

  “And that one?” She pointed to the same drink she’d made for Tanner earlier.

  Seth took another sip. “Ah, I think of a Christmas dinner next to a fire.”

  “Perfect. You get that flavor from the cloves.”

  Tanner gave a neanderthal grunt.

  Seth put the cup down, eyed Tanner, and then eyed her. “I need to get to some meetings, but I’ll come by later to see you. We can discuss what we talked about in more detail then.”

  She knew he was trying to lead Tanner to believe that their meeting later was a date, but she didn’t correct him. “I look forward to it.”

  Seth made a quick exit, and Tanner slid into his chair as if he claimed the prime spot at Mary-Beth’s counter. “Listen, I deserve that, but beyond football, I don’t play games.”

  That sounded more like the commanding Tanner she knew. Why was it the traits that she found most sexy were also the most exasperating?

  She didn’t respond. She only placed four cups in front of him. He looked down at them as if she had set down poison. “Don’t worry. None of them have any clove flavoring at all. Promise.”

  His shoulders relaxed, lowering from his ears, and he lifted one of the cups to his lips.

  The store was unusually quiet around this time, with only Mrs. Sanchez in the corner knitting while sipping her tea. Mary-Beth held her breath and waited.

  He lowered the cup and pressed his lips together. His tongue darted out and claimed the drop left behind. His face relaxed, and he smiled. “That’s good.”

  A flicker of hope ignited inside her. “Here, try this one.” He did and gave the same response, but it wasn’t enough. “And this one?”

  He obediently tried it and offered the same smile and nod. After he tasted the last one, she sighed.

  He reached for her, capturing her wrist in his grasp. Heat surged up her arm, but it sizzled and expired. “What is it? I liked them all.”

  She offered a reassuring smile that it wasn’t anything he did wrong, but she pulled away from him. “I know. And I do appreciate you trying, but it’s obvious I haven’t found it.”

  “Found what?”

  “That perfect blend for you. I don’t understand why this is so difficult. I’ve never had to try this hard before.”

  “Maybe it’s me, not you.”

  She picked up the spoon to stir up some more concoctions. “Oh no, you’re not giving the ‘it’s me, not you’ speech.”

  “I didn’t mean it that way.” His shoulders rose with his hands pressed to his lap. “What is it with women and kitchen utensils?” he mumbled half to himself.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. Listen.” He walked around the counter, plied the spoon from her grasp, and then captured her hands in his. They stood front to front, shoulders to chest. “I want you to know how proud I am of you. Look at this place, this business you’ve created. I wish I could claim to have achieved so much with my life.”

  She didn’t like it when he put himself down. “You have! You’re a college football coach.”

  “Assistant coach, and to be honest, I haven’t felt that adrenaline rush that I once did when I was on the field playing. It’s a career, not a calling. This here… This is what you were meant to do. That is such a gift.”

  He touched her chin so she’d look into his piercing gray eyes that she swore could make her forget all her dreams in life. That frightened her more than anything else. She’d given up dance, and by the time she’d realized what she’d lost, it was too late. Too many years of not training and auditioning, and she’d known she had to find a new dream. And she had.

  She ran her thumb over his farmer hands that were beginning to callus over already, as if they quickly remembered what working hard meant. “I’m sorry you don’t feel that connection anymore.”

  “Oh, but I do. The minute I saw you when I returned here, the adrenaline rush was more intense than any winning touchdown I’ve ever made. You make me feel alive again. I don’t need football, Mary-Beth. I only need you.”

  Her breath came in short bursts, and she could hold back no longer. She wrapped her arms around his neck and claimed his lips with all the intensity she’d been holding back since he’d arrived. What did it really mean that she couldn’t make his perfect cup of coffee? He’d said such nice things to her, but he hadn’t promised to stay. Not today. Not the other night. Not ever. But she was lost in him, and he returned her attention with an intensity that made her shiver inside. The feel of his arms around her, the firm claiming of her lips, the heartbeat pounding against her chest. Everything in the world washed away, and all that remained was their passion for each other.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Farm work kept Tanner busy most of the day, but his mind and soul were consumed by that kiss. It sealed his desire to stay in Sugar Maple and work the farm. This would also give Hawk a chance to make a choice of staying in the military or coming home.

  After Tanner finished his shower, he sat down at the kitchen table where his mom had left a snack of apples with peanut butter and he made some calls. In the farmhouse, all important decisions were made around the kitchen table—what college to attend, what team to play for, how to ask a girl on a date. So, it seemed like an appropriate place to work on Andy’s future.

  He dialed his recruiting buddy from UT and left a voice mail. “Hey, man. It’s Tanner. I’m calling to tell you that I’m volunteering to help at a local high school in my hometown of Sugar Maple, and there’s a kid here who is more talented than I have ever seen. Trust me when I tell you that you’ll want to come see him play. If you’re interested, the game’s Friday night at seven. We’d be happy to host you out at our farmhouse while you’re here. Thanks. I hope to see you then. Trust me, it won’t be a wasted trip.”

  He made a few more calls at his old alma mater and a few other colleges where his name might mean something, and then all he could do was wait to see who showed. It was a long shot but possible. “Mama, I’m heading out to the field. I’ll be home in a couple of hours,” he called from the kitchen.

  He decided it was rude to go outside without at least saying hello to the wedding crew. Besides, it gave him an excuse to catch a glimpse of Mary-Beth. He poked his head around the corner of the house to the garden. “Hello, ladies. How’s the planning going?” His gaze traveled the circle of ladies, but he didn’t spot Mary-Beth. Hopefully she wasn’t with that Seth guy.

  “If you’re looking for your favorite barista, she bailed on us for a hot date at the coffeehouse with Seth,” Jackie stated in her normal, I’m-ready-to-stir-up-trouble kind of way.

  He swallowed a boulder-crushing curse before it
left his lips. At that tidbit of information, he bolted from the garden and started his bike, ignoring his mom’s words of warning in his head. These games needed to stop. He’d decided to stay, and it was time for her to believe him. He revved his bike and shot down the gravel drive, spitting pebbles behind him. His anger got the better of him, and he took the turn after the bridge too fast and skidded to a stop, narrowly avoiding a cow in the center of the road. He removed his helmet so he could breathe and took a second to let the stinging panic rush through him before he could move forward again.

  By the time he reached Maple Grounds, his temper had thankfully cooled, but when he spotted Seth cuddled next to Mary-Beth at a bistro table, he parked his bike and rushed through the front door. “I need to speak to you.”

  She looked up at him, mouth open.

  “Now,” he ordered in a tone reminiscent of his father. He cringed at the notion.

  “I’m so sorry. Would you excuse me for a moment?” She offered Seth a reassuring smile and Tanner a glower.

  He waited in her office, heat radiating from his scalp. When she turned the corner, he opened his mouth to tell her she was being unfair and she needed to make a decision if he was the right man for her.

  “What’s going on?” she asked in an innocent tone.

  “What’s going on? Why are you still dating him? Have I not done enough to prove to you that I am here because of you? I’m working with the kids at the high school, calling college football scouts, tasting coffee, and tiptoeing around trying not to make you mad. What do you want from me?”

  Her lips pressed together, and she crossed her arms over her chest with that set jaw that told him he’d crossed a line and run another mile past it. “First of all, I didn’t ask you to be here for me. Secondly, I asked on behalf of Andy for you to help some kids out coaching the game, something I thought you’d enjoy. I didn’t do it to keep you here or trap you to stay with me.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”