Dirty Secret Baby

by Alycia Taylor

  “Hey, come on in. Dominic isn’t here yet. Beer?”

  “Beer sounds great.”

  “How about for you, Savannah?”

  “A beer for me too. It’s a beautiful day to be outside.”

  Pop handed us each a beer and we went to sit outside on the lawn with him. He had drinks and snacks set out, and the barbeque was all ready to go. I watched as he and Savannah sat out in the sun, chatting away about life. She was telling him all her ideas for the shop, and he seemed impressed that someone was taking so much interest in it. He had ideas too, and the two of them bounced ideas around with one another. While they talked, I played with Bobby on the grass. We threw a ball around, and he laughed every time I missed it. It was fun acting like a clown and having someone appreciate it. I would kick the ball, miss and fall flat on my back, and Bobby would kill himself laughing at me. I could’ve stayed there all day with him, and the more I played with him, the more I started to realize how much I wanted this. I had never thought I’d want to be a family man, but here I was with my son and a ball and completely at ease with life.

  People would be surprised to see me this way. I’d gotten quite a name for myself over the years. I liked to pretend like I was this hard man. I liked people to think that I had no interest in settling down. But it wasn’t true. I just hadn’t found someone to do it with yet.

  Just then I saw Dominic and Candice had walked in. They looked at me and grinned, and I knew that they were surprised to see me on the grass with Bobby. I waved to them and stood up to greet them.

  “This is Savannah,” I said to them. “Savannah, this is my cousin Dominic and his wife, Candice.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you,” she said.

  “Uh-oh. Good stuff I hope?” Dominic said.

  “Oh yeah. You do know that you have the best father ever?” she said and Pop stood by proudly.

  “My old man? Yeah, he’s okay,” Dominic said and chuckled.

  “You look beautiful, Candice.”

  “I look uncomfortable,” she said. “But thank you. Right now I feel so much like a whale that I’ll take any compliments I can get.”

  “Take the compliments. I mean them.”

  “Oh, and this is Bobby,” I said when I realized Bobby was hiding behind my legs. He wasn’t usually so shy, and I couldn’t understand why he was being like this until I noticed him staring at Candice’s stomach. I giggled and picked him up.

  “Hi,” he said still looking at her stomach.

  I chuckled. “Bobby, this is Dominic, and this is Candice. And this, in here, is their baby. It’s going to come out soon.”

  His eyes widened. “Wow. And can I play with the baby?”

  “You sure can,” Candice said. “I would love that.”

  “Cool,” Bobby said.

  “Dominic is Pop’s son. Pop is his daddy,” I explained.

  “Did you know that we are Snap, Crackle, and Pop?” Bobby said to them and pointed at myself and Pop.

  Dominic laughed. “I didn’t know that, but I like it. Very cool. So, I see I interrupted a very important ball game when I came in. Why don’t we leave the girls to chat and us boys go play on the grass?”

  “Yes!” Bobby yelled.

  I chuckled and followed them out onto the grass. Dominic and I used to play when we were kids when all the adults would sit talking. We had come up with this ball game that I had completely forgotten about until Dominic mentioned it again. We decided to teach Bobby, and he was delighted to learn something new.

  “Hey, he catches on pretty fast,” Dominic said.

  “I know. He’s a smart kid.”

  Dominic gave me a funny look but didn’t say anything. I knew what he was thinking though. Not long ago I’d called them in a flat panic. I’d told him how angry I was at Savannah and how freaked out I was about the fact that I suddenly had a kid that I didn’t know about. And now, here I was, calmly playing with my son while his mother sat by with a smile on her face. We looked like the perfect family even though we weren’t. I was sure that Dominic had a million questions for me that he didn’t feel like he could ask with Bobby around.

  “You look happy,” Dominic said, and I knew that in that sentence ran a multitude of hidden questions.

  I smiled and looked out at Bobby. “Yeah,” I said. “I am. Strangely enough, I’m happier than I’ve been in a very long time. Happy and confused, of course.”

  Dominic chuckled. “Yeah, I’m sure. Well, for what it’s worth, this suits you.”

  “Who wants to eat?” Pop called out.

  “Come on, Bobby, climb on my back,” Dominic said. “I’ll piggyback you all the way to the food.”

  He knelt down, and Bobby climbed on, and I laughed as I watched the two of them together. It was sweet to see them like that. Once upon a time, it had been Dominic and me who had been that age. It was hard to imagine that I was now a father and that he was about to be one himself. Life never quite turned out the way any of us had imagined it would. Dominic had teased me for ages about not settling down and here I was, with a six-year-old boy. The whole thing was so crazy that it sometimes didn’t feel real.

  We got to the table and dished up our food, and then made our way to the grass to sit and eat on the floor. It had been Bobby’s idea, and Pop had helped him get all the blankets out of the closet to lay out. It was a good idea, and as we all sat out in the sun, I felt surprisingly happy to be there. Pop kept looking at us and grinning, and I knew he was happy to have his family around him. He’d wanted this for a very long time, and for the first time, I could see why.

  “Does anyone want coffee?” I asked, and everyone said yes.

  “I’ll help,” Candice said. “I have to stretch my legs.”

  I took her hand and helped her up, and the two of us walked inside to the kitchen. She looked like she might burst at any moment.

  “You sure you not going to have this baby right here?” I said.

  She laughed. “It looks like it, doesn’t it?”

  “Yeah, how are you feeling?”

  “I’ll be honest, Axel, I’ve been pretty nervous. I mean, it’s a big deal. I’m not so worried about the birth itself. I mean, that’s going to be a few hours of pain, and it will all be over. I’m more worried about looking after a baby. I don’t know the first thing about it. I have no brothers or sisters, and I just haven’t really been around babies much.”

  “You’ll be great though. You and Dominic are so happy together, and you’ll make this work.”

  “I know. Well, coming here today was a good thing for me. Seeing you and Bobby together like that. You made me want to have a family.”

  I smiled. “Really? He’s a good kid, isn’t he?”

  “He’s amazing. What a ball of energy too. Is he always like this? So happy?”

  “Yeah. I think I hit the jackpot with that one. He never complains. He just always wants to have a good time.”

  “That’s a good way to live.”

  “Tell me about it. I think we can all learn a lot from him.”

  “So, while I have you by myself, can I ask what’s happening with you guys? I didn’t expect to see them here. Especially Savannah. I mean, I thought you hated her right now.”

  I laughed. “That’s why you really came to the kitchen with me, isn’t it?”

  “You got me. I wanted to ask you but I couldn’t in front of them.”

  “Well, I thought I hated her too. Turns out she’s pretty impossible to hate.”

  “She’s not at all what I expected. She’s lovely. So sweet.”

  I smiled. “That’s what I think too. She’s a good person. Not many people see her sweet side, but I’ve always seen it. I saw it six years ago, and I still see it today.”

  “And beautiful.”

  “So beautiful.”

  “Sounds to me like you’ve got it bad for her. Are you going to start a relationship with her?”

  I sighed as I poured the hot water into al
l the mugs. “I have no idea. I guess a big part of me wants to. But another part of me is telling me not too. Something is holding me back.”

  “Well, maybe it’s just a bit too soon to make any big decisions. You need to give yourself some time with all of this. I’m sure this was a big shock to you. You’re doing a great job though. Bobby seems to really like hanging out with you.”

  “I like hanging out with him too. Candice, what do you think I should do?”

  “Honestly, Axel? I’ve never seen you like this before. You seem happy and relaxed. But, I can’t tell you what to do. I think you need to talk to her. See where she stands. And just take it slowly. One thing at a time. But talk to her. That’s probably the best thing you can do. Come on, we better go back outside, or they’re going to be wondering what we’re doing in here.”

  As we made our way outside, I saw Savannah sitting out on the grass with the sun shining on her face, and I was once again reminded of how beautiful she was. Why was I so scared to make a move with her and to take it to the next step? Would I really be able to talk to her? Bobby grinned when he saw me, and I smiled back at him. No matter what happened, I had to make sure that Bobby didn’t get hurt. That was my number one priority now.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Savannah

  I had a dream the night before. A dream that we were all one big family. Axel and I were married. Bobby was still our son. We all lived in this house together. The basement wasn’t my bedroom anymore but was instead a place we kept for visitors. And we had lots of visitors. Our house was a happy home which people loved to visit. In the dream, I had never left Axel all those years ago. I’d never been a part of the XMC. We rode bikes for fun, and we went racing every weekend together. We lived a happy and carefree life. When I woke up, I was happy, and I reached out to take Axel’s hand. But when I realized I was in bed alone, and that I was sleeping in the basement, I felt a pang deep inside. Did I want something that was never going to happen?

  At work, I tried to bury the dream. I didn’t want to think about it. It didn’t help that we had enjoyed a particularly good breakfast together; that just made it feel like we were a family all over again. Pop came around to collect Bobby, and I went to work with Axel. I was starting to notice that the two of us did not feel as awkward around each other without Bobby around like we used to. We still avoided what had happened in the bathroom, but other than that, we were fine with one another. And, when we got to work, we went our separate ways. He went to work with Spike on the bikes, while I got to work in the office. It was an easy, happy and very normal routine in an otherwise completely abnormal situation.

  The phone rang, and I reached out for it, almost banging my head on the cabinet as I did so. I chuckled to myself. Close one.

  “Hello, you’ve reached Axel’s; how may I help you?”

  “Savannah, it’s Dominic. It’s Candice. She’s . . .” he trailed off. He seemed panicked and at a loss for words.

  “What’s wrong? Take a deep breath. Tell me what’s happening.”

  “She’s gone into labor. Hospital. Not doing well.” His words came out staggered, and I could tell that he was about to cry. I felt my body go cold at the thought of anything happening to Candice. I didn’t know her very well, but from the little I knew of her, she was a wonderful person. And she meant the world to Pop and Axel. Because of that, she meant the world to me.

  “Don’t worry. We’ll be right there,” I said.

  He told me where to meet him, and I ran out to find Axel.

  “What’s wrong?” he said when he took one look at my face.

  “It’s Candice. She’s in hospital. Dominic said she wasn’t doing too well.”

  “What do you mean? What’s happening?”

  “I don’t know. He couldn’t get his words out. I told him we’d be right there. I’m coming with. Spike, can you take care of things at the shop?” I asked. I realized I was completely taking charge, but I could see that I had to. Even Axel seemed to not know what to do. He was looking at me like he was a deer caught in headlights.

  “Of course,” he said. “You two go.”

  “Thanks, Spike. Come on,” I said to Axel. I took his hand, and we walked out. I looked at him. “Take a deep breath. Dominic needs us right now. Okay? We have to be strong. I’m sure everything is fine. Sometimes there are complications, but it doesn’t mean that anything is actually wrong. Come on; I’ll drive us.”

  We climbed into the car, and I drove us to the hospital. Neither of us said a word to one another. I had no idea what was going on his head. I just knew that Dominic meant the world to him, which meant that Candice meant the world to him too. Axel was a more loving and caring man than he had ever let on to anyone. He liked to come across as this tough guy, but I knew that he was really just a softie beneath all the tattoos and the hard looks. When we got to the hospital, I saw him mentally shake himself back to normal again. He was composed by the time we reached Dominic.

  When we got inside, we saw Dominic pacing up and down the hallway. The look of relief on his face when he saw us was palpable. He ran over to us.

  “What’s going on?” I asked. “Is Candice okay?”

  “She’s not doing too well. The doctors didn’t say much, but they looked worried. She was losing a lot of blood. They asked me to wait out here which isn’t a good sign, is it? Surely they would let me go in if everything was fine. I’m freaking out. I’m so glad you guys are here. I’ve just been pacing up and down and going out of my mind.”

  I took his hand and squeezed it. “Don’t worry. That doesn’t mean anything. Sometimes they just prefer to work without family around. They work better without people standing over them. She’s in good hands. This is an amazing hospital, and they know exactly what they are doing. Candice is going to be just fine. From what I’ve heard, she’s one of the strongest women ever. She’s already overcome a lot in her life.”

  I actually didn’t know all that much about her, but I’d heard bits and pieces about her life. I knew that Candice had been through a tough time with her political father and how he’d tried to stop her and Dominic from being together. But they’d persevered, and despite everything they had been put through, they were still together and still happy. I was looking forward to getting to know both of them a bit better. I could stand to have someone like Candice in my life.

  “She’s so strong. But still, I just wish I knew what was going on. I want to go in and find out, but I’m too scared. What if they say something I don’t want to hear? I don’t know what to do. Also, I’m not sure that they are going to be happy if I barge in there. But I just wish someone would at least tell me what’s going on. I’m not sure if they’ve forgotten about me or if it means that they are still busy with her. I just hope it’s not bad news.”

  “All right, Axel, you stay with Dominic. I’m going to go find a nurse. I’ll find out what is happening and come out to tell you. Okay? Don’t worry. I’ll make sure I get all the information. The two of you just wait right there. It’s probably better that I go in.” The last thing the doctors probably wanted was a panicked husband interrupting whatever it was they were doing. I could see why they had asked him to wait outside, but I did want to at least bring him some good news.

  “Are you sure?” Dominic said, and I noticed that Axel threw me a grateful glance.

  I nodded. “I’m sure. Come on; you’ll be fine. I’ll be right back.” And as I walked away, I just hoped and prayed that I would come back with a good answer. I was only being brave because that was what Dominic needed right now. I honestly didn’t feel brave at all. I knew how easy it was for something to go wrong, and I didn’t want to come out with bad news. I walked away from Dominic and Axel and took a deep breath, silently praying that everything was going to be fine.

  I finally found a nurse who knew who I was talking about and who was happy to talk to me. She had a kind smile and immediately put me at ease. I had always loved those that worked in the medical profession. I had
so much respect for people that worked such stressful jobs and who still managed to find a way to placate their patents. It couldn’t be easy. The nurse told me that everything was going fine.

  “Really? Gosh, we were so worried.”

  “Really. She’s doing great. She was losing a lot of blood, but everything is going well now. She’s a tough woman. In fact, I was just on my way to get her husband, Dominic.”

  I felt relief wash over me. I hadn’t realized how much I’d been holding my breath until that moment. I almost hugged the nurse.

  “I’ll get him. Must I just send him in?”

  “That would be great. Thank you.”

  I was glad that I could go back to Dominic with good news. When I got back, I saw that Dominic was still pacing up and down, this time with Axel next to him. Dominic looked at me with a worried expression on his face. He was pale and looked like he could faint at any moment. Poor guy. I rushed over to him.

  “Everything is fine,” I said.

  “Really?”

  “Really. In fact, the nurse was on her way to call you. She said that Candice is doing great. She said you can go in now.” I smiled at him, happy that I had good news. I had acted so bravely but I wasn’t actually sure what I was going to do if I had come out with bad news. I wouldn’t have been able to do it. Dominic was so worried, and he was such a nice guy. No wonder the nurses didn’t want him in when they were working on Candice. He probably made them all nervous.

  “I can go in?” he asked. He still seemed unsure about what I had said. He probably thought it was too good to be true.

  I took his hand and squeezed it. “You can go in. They said that everything is fine. They have it all under control. Axel and I will wait here for you, okay? Take as long as you need to with her. We’re not going anywhere.”

  “Thank you, Savannah,” he said and embraced me quickly before running back to see Candice.

  “Thanks for doing that,” Axel said to me. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that. I was freaking out, but I didn’t want Dominic to see it. The two of us barely said a word to one another. We just paced up and down this room. I felt so sorry for Dominic, but I didn’t know what to say. You were so calm.”