Dirty Secret Baby

by Alycia Taylor

  The man shook his head. “I have no idea. We got here as soon as we could. Look, we’re going to have to investigate matters further, but from what I can see, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is a case of arson.”

  “Seriously? What makes you say that?”

  “Trust me; I’ve put out enough fires to know when they’re done on purpose and when they’re not. I probably shouldn’t say anything to you right now, that’s not exactly the way protocol works, but that’s just my opinion at the moment. Don’t take my word for it until we’ve looked into this properly. But from the pattern inside, it looks like someone came in and torched the place. Have any enemies?”

  “Don’t we all,” I said.

  I thanked the fireman for all his help and marched over to Spike, Pop, and Savannah who were all huddled in the corner. Bobby was standing with one of the firemen and asking him a million questions. I was glad to see that he was distracted and that he didn’t know how bad all of this really was.

  “What happened?” Pop asked.

  “They don’t know just yet, but the fireman that I talked to said he thinks it's arson. He doesn’t have the proof yet, but that’s his opinion. And, to be honest, he probably knows what he’s talking about. He wasn’t really supposed to tell me that, and he was trying to backtrack. But I could see by the way he was looking at the shop that he believes someone did it on purpose. If he suspects that it’s arson, then it probably is.”

  I looked at Savannah. Her eyes were big, and I knew she was thinking the same thing I had. Without the fireman telling me, I had already suspected arson from the moment Spike had called me. I had hoped I was wrong, but the whole thing had just been confirmed to me now.

  “Duke,” she said, and I nodded.

  “That’s exactly what I think too. I knew he was being too quiet. I knew it was too good to be true. He was only quiet because he was planning this. I guess this is the warning that he’s giving us. If that is what he does as a warning, then I hate to think of what else he can do.”

  We stood around and waited for the firemen to finish up what they were doing. The same guy that I had spoken to earlier came up to me and told me that I was free to walk around the shop now to assess the damage. But he told me not to touch anything as they still had to investigate the matter. He walked with us as we examined the shop, and I felt so many emotions well up inside me as I looked around. I’d had this shop for years. It had been my pride and joy. It was like a second home to me. Now, it was all gone, and I had no idea what I was going to do about it. The fireman showed us the trail in the garage and in the office that proved that it was arson. Someone had come in and done this on purpose. And then, in the corner of the room, we saw that three letters had been spray painted into the corner. We could just about make them out. The fireman couldn’t see what it was, but to me, it was clear as day. XMC. I shook my head and pointed it out to Savannah.

  “He’s made his mark,” I said.

  I hoped that it would serve as proof, although I wasn’t sure. Just in case, we took pictures of the letters and I sent them over to the firefighters as backup. Afterwards, we all made our way back to Pop’s house to try and figure out what to do. Bobby kept asking us questions, and we told him that it must’ve just been a mistake. We didn’t want him to know that someone had done this on purpose. I put his favorite movie on and gave him a milkshake and a bowl of popcorn, and when he was all settled in the living room, I went and sat in the kitchen with Pop and Savannah. The three of us looked at each other and shook our heads.

  “This is crazy,” I said. “What are we going to do?”

  Nobody could come up with an idea. All I knew was that I had to find a way to respond to Duke. I also had to talk to my insurance people and make sure that I was covered for arson. I wasn’t sure if I was. This wasn’t exactly something you ever expected to happen to you. I sighed. I should’ve known that something was going to happen. I heard Bobby giggle at something from the room and shook my head sadly. I couldn’t let anything happen to that kid. I had to make things right.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Savannah

  We were going to spend the night at Pop’s, but Bobby was feeling emotional and wanted to back to Axel’s place. We hadn’t told him what was going on, but he could sense that there was something we weren’t telling him. We’d set him in front of the TV to watch a movie, and we hadn’t heard him come into the kitchen when we’d all been talking. We had no idea how long he had stood there or what he had heard, but I could see that he was not happy. So we’d come home and tried to make the most of the day. Axel had suggested we go to the cinema or to the park, but none of our hearts were in it. So we pottered around the house, all of us trying to be busy while we figured out what we were going to do.

  That night, we waited for Bobby to fall asleep before finally going back to the room. Part of me wanted to go back down to the basement, but I knew that would only upset Axel. I didn’t feel like talking about any of it and wanted nothing more than to just go to sleep. Thankfully, Axel didn’t seem particularly eager to talk either. We lay in bed for a while, just holding hands, until I eventually heard his breathing change. I moved my hand and watched him sleep. It was dark, but my eyes had adjusted, and I could still make him out. The more I watched him, the more determined I was to not let anything happen to him. I knew that Axel would throw down his life in order to protect myself and Bobby, and I knew it wasn’t fair to ask him to do that. Who was I to just come into his life after all these years and demand that he change his entire existence to include me in it? It wasn’t right. I knew then that I shouldn’t have come here. I’d made a mistake. Another one.

  I thought of Duke and what he’d done. I had never expected him to go as far as he did, but now that he had, I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t seen it coming. This was the sort of thing that Duke did. He wasn’t nearly as bad when my father was around, but the power had gone to his head. He felt as if he could do anything and get away with it. He felt as if he had control over the whole club. And watching the shop burn down, I knew that his feelings were right. He was in control, and he could do anything. He had enough people on his side to make sure that he never got in trouble for anything. And if he burned down the shop as just a warning, what else would he do?

  I wanted to stay with Axel. I wanted him to protect me from everything. But I knew that I couldn’t do that to him. I lay in bed thinking about Bobby. What would be best for him? That was the only thing I should have been thinking about. If I stayed with Axel, then all I was doing was creating more troubles for him. Duke wouldn’t rest until I was back with him, and as much as I didn’t want to go back, it was probably the best thing that I could do for my son. So what did that mean for me? Did it mean I had to leave Axel? I felt sick just thinking about it.

  I didn’t get any sleep that night. I climbed out of bed in the very early hours of the morning and snuck out the room. I closed the door behind me and made my way to the kitchen. I looked around until I found a piece of paper and a pen and I wrote Axel a long note. It was hard to explain myself on paper, and I hoped that I was able to do it justice. I told him that I was leaving to protect both him and Bobby. I ended saying how thankful I was for everything he had done for me, and how much I was going to miss him. A few tears escaped and fell onto the paper, smudging some of the words. I wiped away the tears and put the letter on the kitchen table where I knew he would see it. I had to be quick so that he didn’t wake up. I was grateful now that he was such a heavy sleeper. But he was also an early riser, and I wanted to get out the house before he caught me. I wasn’t sure if I would have the guts to leave if I had to explain it to him face to face.

  I went to find Bobby and woke him up. He rubbed his eyes and frowned at me.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing is wrong,” I said and forced myself to smile. “You and I are going on a little adventure, that’s all.”

  His eyes widened. “Really? Daddy too?”

  I si
ghed. I wished now that he hadn’t gotten into the habit of calling Axel that. It only made the whole thing so much harder.

  “Just you and me. Come on; we’re going to be sneaky and creep out.”

  His expression changed. He was a smart boy and old enough to know when something was wrong. He knew that we weren’t going on an adventure and he knew that none of this was going to be fun for him. But I was his mother, and he also knew when to listen to me. He probably heard the desperation in my voice. We stuffed a few of things into some bags and headed out. Once again, we had more of his things than my things, but that didn’t matter to me. We headed out, closed the door, and climbed into the car. And as we drove off, I wondered if I would ever step foot in Axel’s house again. It was the only place that I had ever thought of as home.

  I still had my key for the XMC house, and when we walked in, I noticed that everyone was still sleeping. But they would be awake soon. I wondered what they would say when they saw that we were back. I made my way to my bedroom and was relieved to find it still empty. It even still had quite a few of the things I’d left behind when I’d first moved.

  “Are we living here again?” Bobby asked. It was the first thing that he had said to me since we left.

  I nodded. “For now. I’m trying to figure things out.”

  He thought about it for a while. “What’s going to happen to Daddy?”

  “He’ll be fine. Mommy is just trying to sort things out. Just remember that everything I do is to make sure that everyone is safe and sound. You, me, Daddy, Pop. Everyone. I’m trying my best, Bobby.”

  “I love you, Mommy,” he said.

  I tried to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. He was such a good kid. I was so lucky to have him, and he didn’t deserve any of this. I knew he didn’t want to be there, and I knew he had never liked Duke. But he wasn’t making a scene at all. I did everything for him, but I sometimes think that he did everything for me too.

  “I love you too, my darling.”

  I got out a book and read to him, and about an hour later he fell asleep. I didn’t want to leave him in case he woke up and felt frightened to find that he was not at Axel’s. It wasn’t like him to sleep again in the morning, even if I had woken him up early. Maybe he hadn’t slept properly the night before either. While I sat there, I wondered if Axel had woken up and found my letter yet. I pictured him reading it and felt sick at the thought of it. He was going to hate me for leaving, but I just hoped that he understood why I had done it. I was protecting Bobby. I was always protecting Bobby.

  The door to my bedroom was open, and as I sat there, Duke popped his head around and looked at me with surprise. I noticed a small smile spreading on his face. He nodded and walked out. I was seething at the sight of him and his stupid grin. I hated that I was back there again. I hated this place. I hated that he had won. But what else was I supposed to do? I had never felt more helpless before in my entire life. I had never liked the place, not even when my father was alive, but it was so much worse now.

  I was glad Duke hadn’t said anything though. He’d seen that Bobby was sleeping and probably figured he’d talk to me a bit later. Of course, the moment I thought that, he came bounding back to the room. He still had that stupid grin on his face that made me want to stand up and slap him. I took a deep breath and tried to compose myself.

  “Good, you’re back,” he said.

  “Speak quietly. Bobby is sleeping,” I said and gestured towards the little bundle on the bed.

  “So, the fire scared you all good and proper then, I assume?”

  “What you did was wrong, Duke. You know that. I know that. But everything I do is to protect my son. That is the only reason I’m back here. Now please, just leave us all alone.”

  “You’re my property, Savannah. You belong to me. Don’t do dare go again. If you leave, things will only be worse. If you think the fire was the worst thing I could do, then you are very mistaken. Oh, there are a lot more things that I could do to you. I hope you don’t plan on meeting up with that idiot again. Because you’re mine. Not his.”

  Duke’s voice had gotten increasingly louder, and it didn’t take long for Bobby to wake up. He took one look at Duke and started crying.

  “Where’s Daddy? Where’s Daddy?” he cried.

  “I’m your daddy!” Duke shouted. “I’m your new daddy!”

  I pulled Bobby towards me and glared at Duke. “No, you’re not,” I said to Duke. I couldn’t believe that he would say such a thing. I hoped he didn’t actually believe that because there was no way that was ever going to happen. I looked at Bobby. “Don’t worry, my boy. Everything is fine. Duke, if you are mean to my son then I’m just going to leave again. There’s no point in me being here if you’re just going to be a jerk to him. I will leave. You know I will.”

  Duke looked at me and laughed. “Oh yeah? Well, that worked out well the last time. You’re not leaving, Savannah. You’re staying here. Both of you. This is where you belong, and it’s about time that you understood that.”

  I didn’t say anything but breathed a sigh of relief when he walked out of the room. I liked to pretend like I wasn’t scared of Duke, but the truth was different. I was very scared of Duke. I always had been. I had taken a big risk leaving the first time, but I should’ve known that he wouldn’t let me go so easily. I felt sick at the thought of what he could do to myself and Bobby if he wanted to. I wiped away Bobby’s tears and promised him that I was going to look after him. But I wasn’t sure if anything was ever going to be the same again.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Axel

  I slept peacefully that night knowing that Savannah was back with me. When I woke up that morning, I chuckled when the bed was empty. It wasn’t often that Savannah was awake before me. I wondered if she was making a cup of coffee to have in bed with me. I lay there for a while, waiting, but didn’t hear anything. I climbed out of bed and made my way outside. I saw that Bobby’s door was open, and when I peered in, I saw that he wasn’t in bed either. I went to the kitchen, expecting to see both of them there, but my blood ran cold when the only thing I saw was a letter waiting for me. I knew right away that the letter wasn’t going to be Savannah telling me she’d gone out for milk and bread. This letter was going to be something I wished I had never read. I sat down and opened it up with trembling hands.

  My immediate thought was to go straight to the XMC clubhouse and get her out of there. She didn’t say where she was going, but it was obvious to me that she’d gone back. She’d done it because she was scared of Duke, and if I went there now, I knew I’d find her there. I stood up to leave and then sat back down again. I couldn’t just barge in there. If anything, all I was going to do was make things worse. Instead, I made my way to Pop’s house. I had to talk to someone. I stuffed the letter into the pocket of my jeans and drove to his house.

  Pop was naturally surprised to find me there so early. He frowned when he saw the look on my face.

  “What’s wrong? Where’s Bobby?” he asked.

  I pulled the letter out and handed it to him, and the two of us went to sit in the living room. I watched while he read the letter. When he was done, he handed it back to me and shook his head.

  “I’m so sorry, Axel,” he said.

  “Yeah, me too. I can’t believe she did this to me. I can’t believe she did this to herself and to Bobby either. She crept out while I was sleeping. Can you believe it? She didn’t even have the nerve to tell me this all to my face. She wrote it all down for me to discover when I woke up. I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye to either of them.”

  “Would you have let them go if she did tell you to your face?” he asked.

  “Hell no. I would never have let them go.”

  “Well, that’s why she did it this way.”

  “That doesn’t make it right.”

  “No,” he said. “It doesn’t. But Duke obviously has a big hold on her. She’s probably seen what sort of lengths he will go
to when he wants something bad enough. He burned down your shop, Axel. You know how badly he wants her back and what he’ll do to get her. You can’t blame her for leaving. She’s doing what she thinks is best for you all. You and Bobby. She probably did this to protect you.”

  “Yeah, I know,” I said. “I understand why she did it. Of course, I do. I wish she wouldn’t though. I mean, it’s not going to solve anything. It’s just going to tell Duke that he has control. That’s exactly what we shouldn’t be doing. It’s about time that someone stands up to the guy. What is this showing Bobby? It’s not good that we’re showing him the bullies can win.”

  “I agree with you, Axel. I just don’t know what you can do about it right now.”

  “I’m going to go in and get her. If he thinks he can burn down my shop and take away the two people that have suddenly become the most important people in my life, then he’s got a thing coming for him. You’ll see, I am going to get her out of there.”

  “Axel, hang on. Don’t do this.”

  “Really? You want me to just sit back and let this happen? So you’re okay with me just losing Savannah and Bobby? I thought you loved them.”

  “Of course I do. I want nothing more than for you to get them back. But if there’s one thing that you have that Duke doesn’t, it’s brains. Everything he does is on impulse. If you want to get her back, then you have to be smart about it. I don’t know what you can do just yet, but don’t just go crashing into the house to get her out. You know as well as I do that you’re only setting yourself up for more trouble. Don’t make things worse for yourself—or for them.”

  I sighed. Pop was right. I hated to admit it, but he was. If I went in there now, I was only going to make Duke angry. I had to be smart about this. I nodded.

  “Okay. You’re right. But I just wish I knew what to do.”

  “Give it a bit of time. Remember, Duke is probably expecting you to go right there and get her. Don’t do that. Give them time. She lived there for six years. She knows what she’s doing. Let everything settle down and then make your move.”