Dirty Secret Baby

by Alycia Taylor

  I thanked Pop and made my way out. I wanted to stay with him for the day just to have a familiar face around me, but I had to talk to the insurance people about the fire. I had an appointment that morning, and I was very curious about what they had to say. Thankfully, I had a very good insurance, and they assured me that I was covered.

  “Really?” I said. I had no idea. I’d just gone for the insurance that was suggested to me, and I was yet to really use it. Back then, I had no idea what I was doing so when I’d asked around, I had taken the first thing that came my way without really knowing what I had gone for. I’d almost canceled it about a year ago, and I was thankful now that I hadn’t.

  “Don’t worry, you’ll get your money back, and you can rebuild your shop to the way it was before all of this happened.”

  That was at least one good thing. Duke might have tried to ruin my career for me, but he hadn’t won. I was going build an even better shop than before, and I was going to make sure that he couldn’t come near it. Savannah was still there, so it wasn’t much of a victory, but it was still something. You won’t win this one, Duke.

  Afterwards, I went to see Spike to let him know what was going on. If I didn’t keep myself busy, then I knew I would end up going to the house to find Savannah. I needed someone to tell me that what I was doing was the right thing. He let me in and grabbed me a beer even though it was way too early to be drinking. When I mentioned it, he just shrugged.

  “I figured you could use one, and to be honest, so could I. Tell me you have good news at least,” he said. He was obviously very worried about his job. I felt bad that he had to go through all of this.

  He threw me a beer and the two of us took a seat on his little balcony. We’d sat there many times before and they’d been such carefree times. I had no idea then that my life would change so drastically. If only we had known how easy our lives had been then. But it was one of those things that you only realized in hindsight.

  “I have good news, and I have bad news. Which do you want to hear first?”

  “Good, please. I could definitely use some good news.”

  “The good news is that the insurance is going to pay out, and I’ll be able to rebuild the shop. I’m going to make it even better than before, and don’t worry, I’ll pay you for the time that you have off now. It’s not your fault that this happened. In fact, if it wasn’t for you, it might have been a whole lot worse. I had always wanted to extend the shop so I’ll use this as an opportunity to do so. Hopefully, we can get started on it soon.”

  “Okay, that is good news. Because I tell you what, Axel, some of the clients are not too happy about losing their bikes to the fire. We had three bikes when the fire went up. I had to call all of them, and as you can imagine, they weren’t all that pleased with the news.”

  I sighed. “Are you serious? I mean, I know they can’t be happy about it, but it’s not exactly like this was our fault. The last thing I need is angry customers. I’ll get them new bikes.”

  “Yeah, people only think about themselves. I’m sure they understand, but I guess those bikes mean a lot to them. Don’t worry; I’ve tried to placate them. They’ll still come to us for business after this. I doubt they’ll expect a second fire. And, they’ll be happy with the new bikes. So, dare I ask, what is the bad news then?”

  I sighed. “The bad news is that Savannah took Bobby and went back to Duke.”

  “What?” Spike said and almost spat out his beer. “Are you serious? Why the hell would she do that? That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. That guy is only like the worst human being on earth.”

  “Yeah, I know. I hate that guy so much. It was a huge shock to me. She wrote me a note,” I said and handed it to him.

  Spike read the note and sighed. “I guess I see why she did it. I don’t think it was the best move, to be honest, but I do see why she thought she had to do that. Fuck, this is horrible. What a thing to wake up to. And you had no idea they had left?”

  “No idea. She snuck off when I was asleep.”

  “What are you going to do about it?”

  “I have no idea. But I’m going to do something, that’s for sure. There’s no chance in hell that I’m going to just sit back and do nothing. I’ll get her back, Spike.”

  “Good. If you need any help, let me know. I’m pretty pissed off at the guy myself.”

  “Thanks, Spike. I might take you up on that offer.”

  “Want another beer?” he asked.

  I sighed and shook my head. “Wish I could. Sadly, I have a meeting planned with some of the sponsors today. I totally forgot to cancel, and now it’s too late. This is the last thing that I feel like doing right now. Do me a favor though, if you hear anything, please let me know. I’ve also asked Pop to do the same. I hate that I have to go and do these stupid meetings knowing that Savannah and Bobby are with Duke. But maybe it’s a good thing. There’s nothing I can do just yet, and I need to keep myself occupied. But if you hear anything, please tell me.”

  “I’ll do that. Sorry about all of this, Axel. It’s been a weird few months.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  Weird, wonderful, awful, incredible, scary. So many things had happened lately that had turned my life upside down. Becoming a father had changed me, and I knew I would do anything to protect my little boy.

  I miss you, Bobby. I’m coming for you.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Savannah

  I hated being back. I hated everything about it. Without my father, the place wasn’t the same. Also, Bobby had changed since we’d come back. He’d been so good about it at first, but after his interaction with Duke, he had obviously decided that he didn’t want to be there. He didn’t stop crying, which was something I wasn’t used to. It broke my heart. Just that morning he had cried so much that he’d literally fallen asleep from the pure exhaustion of it. I went to wet a cloth with warm water and gently washed his face as he slept.

  He’d kept asking me about Axel. Duke had overheard him calling Axel ‘Daddy’ again, and he’d gotten upset. But it had only made Bobby even more determined to call him that. He was a strong-willed boy, and he was not going to let some big man tell him what to do. He impressed me. Duke was a scary man, but I could see the determination in Bobby’s face when he squared off with him. I was impressed and worried at the same time. I could see that Duke didn’t like Bobby’s attitude. He wanted Bobby to revere him the way the other men in the club did, but that was never going to happen.

  I kissed him gently on the cheek and went to find Duke. I wanted to leave the house, but he wouldn’t let me. He’d also made me give him my only key. I wished that I had thought ahead and gotten another one made before moving back but there had been no time. With a guard now at the door and no key, it was impossible for me to go out.

  “Duke,” I said when I found him in his room. I hated going into that room. It had the distinct odor of someone who used way too much aftershave to hide his natural stench. It made me want to throw up every time I walked in.

  “My darling Savannah. You have finally come to me. Come here. Sit on my lap,” he said and patted his legs.

  I groaned. “No, I’m not going to sit on your lap. I’ve come to ask you if I can please go out. I’m starting to feel claustrophobic and I really just need to get out a bit. Can I please just go for a walk around the block?”

  “No, you cannot. How do I know you’re not going to run and look for your old boyfriend again? How do I know you’re not going to do anything stupid? No, you can’t go out just yet. Not when you’ve only just come back to me.”

  “Duke, I’m not going to do anything stupid. I’m the one that came here of my own accord. You didn’t force me to come here. But I really want to go out. I can’t stay in here forever you know.”

  “You will go out in due time. Not just yet. Now come here and sit on my lap.”

  I walked off before he could say anything more. I knew it angered him when I didn’t listen to him,
but there was no way I was going to go and sit on his damn lap. I’d already slapped his hand off me twice. I couldn’t believe that he had the nerve to try and touch me. Did he really believe that I would want to be with him in that way? The second time he touched me, I made it perfectly clear that just because I had come back didn’t mean that he could have me. He’d laughed in a way that had made me uneasy. One of the other guys had been there at the time, and they’d exchanged a glance that I didn’t like. Thankfully, Bobby had walked into the room, and the conversation had ended. But I didn’t trust Duke to leave it alone. I could see the way he looked at me. I knew that he wanted more from me. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep him away from me. The longer I stayed, the more I regretted my decision. I had come back to protect Bobby, but it didn’t feel like I was protecting him at all.

  I went back to the room and pulled out a book. There wasn’t much to do there other than read or watch TV. I was still on the same page that I’d been on when I first opened the book. No matter how many times I read it, I couldn’t concentrate on the words. I began to read, and my mind immediately began to wander.

  I thought about Axel. I had not stopped thinking about him, and it didn’t help that Bobby was asking for him all the time. I thought about what it felt like to kiss him, what it felt like to hold him, what it felt like to laugh with him. I hadn’t heard from him at all, and I was surprised that he hadn’t yet come knocking on the door. Either he had decided to give me the space I had asked for, or he was planning on making a move. I had a feeling that he would try something, but I hoped that he wouldn’t. Duke was too powerful to go up against, and it wouldn’t come to any good end. But I missed him, and Bobby missed him, and even though I didn’t want him to come and save us, I sometimes wished that he would. Next to Bobby, he had been the best thing in my life, but I had probably been his worst.

  I sat there for another hour, looking at my book without reading it. Without too many distractions, my mind never stopped racing. I saw Bobby stir and I reached out to take his hand. He cried if he woke up and I wasn’t there. He took my hand and looked at me. Then he looked around the room and sighed. I had a feeling he kept going to sleep just in case he would wake up to find that the whole thing had been a nightmare.

  “Hello, my darling,” I said. “Are you hungry?”

  He nodded.

  “Okay, let me go and get you something to eat. You stay here, okay?”

  “Don’t go.”

  “It’s okay my love. You’ll be fine. Remember you stayed here for years and everything was fine. Duke never did anything to harm us. Remember that? You used to be happy here. Remember how much you loved this room with me?”

  “I want to go home,” he said. “I want to see my daddy. I don’t like it here anymore. It’s not the same. And Duke is mean. He doesn’t like me.”

  I sighed. How could I argue with him? He was right about everything. I also didn’t like it there anymore. I wasn’t sure I had ever liked it. And Duke was mean.

  “I’m doing the best I can, Bobby. I know it may not look that way, but I promise you I’m doing everything I can to make things right for us.”

  “Did Duke do that to Axel’s shop? Did he do the fire?”

  I wanted to lie to him more than anything else. I didn’t want to tell him the truth about Duke, but he was six years old now, and he was a smart boy. He had already figured it all out.

  “Yes, we think so.”

  “But why, Mommy?”

  “My darling, who knows? Duke is not a very nice man. He doesn’t like Axel. You know this club that we belong to?”

  “The motorcycle club?”

  “Yes. Well, this is a rival to the one that Axel belongs to.”

  “What’s a rival?”

  “It means that the two clubs don’t get along with one another.”

  “Like enemies?”

  “Yeah, like enemies. Your grandfather started this club. He was a good man, but this club is not so good. That’s why you never knew your father for all these years. They wouldn’t let me leave here. But one day, I decided that I wanted you to meet him, and I wanted to see him again.”

  “So, we ran away?” he asked.

  “Yes, we ran away. And then Axel fell in love with you.”

  His eyes widened. “He did?”

  “Of course he did. How could he not? You are his son, and you’re the best boy in the world.”

  “Why did we come back? I liked it at our new home.”

  “So did I. We came back because I was scared that Duke was going to do something worse than burn down his shop. I did it because I didn’t want anything to happen to you or Axel. I don’t want to be here either, Bobby. And I promise you with all my heart and soul that I’m going to do everything to make this better. Okay?”

  He nodded. He seemed pleased that I was finally telling the truth.

  “Okay, Mommy.”

  “The best thing we can do right now is keep calm and to not do anything to upset Duke. We’ll make a move eventually. But right now, let’s make sure he doesn’t get mad. I know you miss your daddy. So do I. But right now, it’s you and me against the world. We’re a team.”

  “I’ll try, Mommy.”

  “Now, you stay here while I go and get you something to eat. I’ll be as quick as possible.”

  I walked out with a heavy heart. I was happy that I had finally told him the truth, but I was also sad that it had come to that. Gone were the days where I could shelter him just because he was too young to understand. It was so much harder now that he was aware of everything.

  I was grateful to see that nobody was in the kitchen, and I quickly surveyed the fridge and the cupboards to see what I could make. I couldn’t even go to the shop, so I had to make do with whatever was available to me. I pulled out the bread and decided to make a quick sandwich for the two of us. I didn’t want to leave Bobby alone for too long. I sliced the cheese, the tomatoes, and pulled out some sliced ham and began layering the pieces onto the toast. I was almost finished when Duke walked into the room and grinned at me. The feeling of dread that I got when I saw him was growing each and every time. I felt sick to my stomach as I looked at his face. How had my father ever been friends with a man like this?

  “Well, isn’t this a nice sight,” he said. “My beautiful woman in the kitchen. This is exactly what I’ve been waiting for. You see, this is where you belong, Savannah. You were meant for this place. Everything feels right with you here. I didn’t like you going off and running to our opposition. It’s not right what you did. But don’t worry. I forgive you. You’re back now, and we can carry on like normal.”

  I didn’t say anything. I was too scared to snap. Instead, I hurried with what I was doing. I was just about to lift up the plates and carry them out when Duke appeared behind me. I could smell his body odor and grimaced. Clearly, the man didn’t enjoy showering. Either that or he was just starting to smell like all the alcohol that he drank. It was not a pleasant smell. He put his hand on my back and slowly moved it down, and I flinched.

  I pulled away. “Stop it!” I yelled.

  “Oh, come on,” Duke said and grinned at me. I grimaced at the sight of his yellowing teeth. The years of smoking and drinking had not been kind to him. “Just give me a little something. I know you want it. That’s why you came back, isn’t it? You don’t have to pretend anymore. There’s nobody around to hear you. Bobby isn’t here. I know this is what you want.”

  “Stop it, Duke. This is not what I want, and you know it. Please don’t touch me. I’m just here making something to eat for myself and Bobby. The two of us are hungry. I’ve already asked if we can have a small kitchen in our room. That way we won’t be in your way. But up until then, I will have to make do with this kitchen. I’m almost finished here. Then I’ll be out of your way. I’m not here to cause a scene.”

  He tried to touch me again, but I jumped back and slapped his hand.

  “No, I’m not your damn property, Duke. I won�
�t let you do this to me. I won’t!”

  He looked like he was just about to say something, but he was interrupted by his phone ringing. I used that moment as an opportunity to pick up the plates and hurry back to the room. I handed Bobby his plate and acted as if there was nothing at all wrong. Just because Bobby now knew the truth didn’t mean he had to know all of it.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Axel

  I woke up that day with an idea. The idea had come to me while I was sleeping and when I woke up, I knew exactly what I was going to do. It felt good to finally have a plan. Before that, I’d felt completely helpless. Spike called that morning to see how things were going.

  “You know,” he said. “I was thinking about the shop.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Have you heard anything? Like, have people been talking about it?” he asked.

  I frowned. “Not that I know of. At least, I don’t think so. Why?”

  “Well, that’s just the thing. That doesn’t sit right with me. I’ve been waiting for it to appear in the papers or on the news or something. But there’s been nothing. And something like this would’ve definitely gotten into media. You know how the media love talking about people involved in the motorcycle club. Even though it was just a shop, they would’ve linked the two together.”

  I frowned. “You’re right. They love nothing more than stories about the club, and with a bit of digging, they would’ve found out that you and I were a part of it. So, what do you think happened?”

  “I think Duke has more connections than we realize. He paid someone.”

  “Or threatened someone,” I offered.

  “You’re probably more correct with that observation. Yeah, he probably threatened someone. Well, for once I’m sort of glad. I don’t want everything in the papers. I’m looking forward to getting everything up and running again. I just realized how lucky I am, you know.”