47 Destinies: Finding Grace

by Perez, Marlies Schmudlach

  One positive note to the bridal shower was the appealing location. Samantha picked one of the most romantic spots in the city: the Cliff House. The only person not excited about the affair was Leslie. Grace was a little irritated by her negative reaction when Grace told her about the plans for the couples’ shower months ago. Upon further thought, Grace noticed that Leslie seemed turned off by all of the wedding preparations and activities. It was unfair to Cora because Leslie was very helpful when Grace married Derek. Grace was beginning to agree with Cora regarding Leslie’s dissatisfaction with Brent’s choice for a wife.

  Nevertheless, Grace put her opinions aside and prepared for the party. Grace put on her mid-length mauve dress, pinned up her hair in an elegant bun, and drove to the Cliff House. From her house, Grace could have practically walked there. It was relatively close.

  Whenever Grace could fit in a run, she often ran over by the Cliff House. Not only was it a historic landmark, it also sat near the infamous ruins of the Sutro Baths. Grace enjoyed climbing down into the few remaining ruins from the baths. She would look at the concrete in the ground and mentally re-create how the baths once looked based on the cement rectangles and the old pictures she saw. Patrons must have once enjoyed the saltwater and fresh water pools, she thought. It was a shame that they had been destroyed.

  Grace parked her car and took a moment to ponder the structure of the Cliff House. It was properly named. It was perched high on a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The view to the left was of a long beach which stretched for miles. Behind the beach sat small condos where Playland, a popular beach amusement park, once thrived. Further down the beach was the beginning of Golden Gate Park. Beyond the park, rows and rows of homes stretched out as far as the eye could see. The view was delightful to Grace. She enjoyed the rich history of the city and spent hours in museums, guided tours and books soaking in everything she could learn about San Francisco.

  Grace once took a tour at the Cliff House and remembered what the guide said about its own special history. The original Cliff House was built in 1863, a modest restaurant compared to its descendants. The rich and famous would dine at the establishment to be seen, until what they termed ‘riff raff’ chased out the local elite.

  After a change of ownership and a destructive fire in 1896, an extravagant second Cliff House was built. It was fashioned after a French chateau with eight stories, four spires and an observation tower. While it was never a hotel, it once served as a restaurant, entertainment venue and meeting place. Grace had a framed picture of the second Cliff House in her home office. The presence of the building was remarkable. It carried within it a magnificent darkness that brought out many visitors to enjoy its rare style. Presidents and dignitaries from all over the world came to experience its unique beauty. Everyone was amazed when it survived the great San Francisco earthquake in 1906, only to burn to the ground one year later from a destructive chimney fire.

  “Grace, are you waiting for someone?” Leslie asked, placing her hand on Grace’s shoulder. “You’ve been out here for a few minutes. Robert and I saw you when we were looking for a place to park.”

  “No, I am here alone. I was just taking in the splendid view. I love feeling the ocean breeze on my face,” Grace said, as she took in a deep, cleansing breath. The ocean did wonders for her downcast spirit.

  “At least someone is enjoying themselves. I have this terrible cough from my allergies, but Robert made me come out tonight. I should be at home resting. I could have pneumonia,” Leslie said in a pathetic tone, hoping for some sympathy.

  Grace was very concerned. “Have you seen a doctor? Are you taking any medicine? Come here; sit down on the bench.”

  “Don’t play into her games,” Robert said as he approached the women. “She is exaggerating her symptoms.” Robert gave Leslie the evil eye as unspoken words passed between them.

  “I don’t understand,” Grace said, quite confused by the conversation.

  “Let’s just say that Leslie is having an allergic reaction to the wedding,” Robert said with a little spunk.

  “That’s not true, Robert. You know how much I love Brent,” Leslie said, purposefully not mentioning Cora.

  “Yes Darling. Come on, let’s go inside and find a seat. Grace, would you like to sit at our table? I would love the company,” Robert offered as he hooked his arm into Grace’s. The man was such a charmer; nobody could refuse him.

  “I would be delighted,” Grace said, now happy that she came.

  The event was held in the Terrace Room. When Grace walked in, she couldn’t help but grin. The setting was simply a perfect place to celebrate Cora and Brent’s pending nuptials. Floor-to-ceiling windows encompassed two sides of the room. The walls opposite the windows held seven large mirrors which reflected back the churning ocean below.

  It was about 6:00pm, so the sun had yet to set. Grace couldn’t wait to view the sunset when it streamed through the windows and bounced off the mirrors.

  Cora rushed up to Grace, “What do you think of this place?”

  Grace smiled widened, “It is incredible! Samantha is ingenious.”

  “I can’t stop smiling! Brent even seems pleased,” Cora said as she winked at Grace. “How is Leslie doing? I heard she is very ill.”

  Grace pondered what to say and finally settled on, “She is a little under the weather, but has a very strong spirit.”

  Cora, a little baffled by Grace’s description, left it alone. She wasn’t going to allow Leslie’s flair for drama taint her evening.

  “I completely understand if she needs to leave early,” Cora said, unaware that Leslie was right behind her.

  “Cora, thank you. At least someone understands the importance of my health. Grace, can you let Robert know that I will catch a cab and see him at home?” Leslie said, whisking herself out of the room.

  “Wow,” Cora said, “I think that is the nicest thing she has ever said to me. Then again, she almost flew out of here. She couldn’t wait for the moment to make her escape,” Cora remarked as she walked over to greet another arriving guest.

  Grace was not that surprised and also not looking forward to relaying Leslie’s message to Robert. In order to get the unpleasantness out of the way, she went immediately to speak to Robert.

  “Robert, Leslie wanted me to let you that she left, took a taxi, and will meet you at home,” Grace said quickly before she added, “I am going to go take a look outside on the terrace.”

  Grace left before she could gauge Robert’s response. She had a feeling that he was not going to take it well. Grace stepped outside. The terrace was empty except for one couple off in the back corner. Grace put her hands on the rail and stared out at the ocean. Mounds of black rocks jetted above the water line causing the waves to splash bright white foam upon them. Batches of seagulls settled on the rocks awaiting their next flight to find more fish.

  “Are you hiding from someone again?” Todd asked as he joined Grace at the rail. “Last time I saw you, you were practically running out of the fashion show.”

  “You saw that?” Grace said, embarrassed to remember that night.

  “It was a hard to miss a tall blond woman storming out of the room,” Todd answered. Not wanting to hurt Grace’s feelings, he added, “Of course, your date might have had something to do with it.”

  “He was terrible. I don’t think I have ever met such a critical person. No wonder he needs a dating service,” Grace said, trying not to be too hard on the guy. “Then again, I signed up for the same service. What does that say about me?”

  “Well, I was a little perplexed to see you on a date after the conversation we had at Samantha’s party. Did you bend under the pressure?” Todd said, more as a joke.

  “I guess I did. Feelings of sadness were becoming a daily routine for me at the time. I thought if I met new people that I might be able to move on with my life. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out. Since my last dating disaster, I haven’t been on a date in over five months,” Grace
responded, astonished by her own honesty.

  Todd was taken aback. He wasn’t used to someone being so candid about their feelings. Most people would hide anything perceived as a weakness. Grace took it head on and accepted herself. It was a remarkable characteristic which few possessed.

  He took a moment to analyze Grace. Anyone who looked at her would agree that her surface beauty was remarkable, but what interested Todd was the woman hidden within; that woman was full of warmth, love and passion. He wondered how to reach that side of her.

  The walls she built around herself seemed insurmountable. Todd wasn’t even sure he was ready to venture out into the world of actively living again, but there was something about Grace that kept moving him toward her. It was as if he was being pushed forward by some invisible force.

  “The last couple of years have been rough on you. I’m not sure what is worse in life: losing someone who loved you or being left by someone you loved,” Todd said, deciding to match Grace’s honesty with his own.

  Grace turned to look Todd straight in the eyes. The sadness that she noticed at their first meeting was still there. “What happened to your marriage?”

  Todd inhaled deeply and let it out slowly. He brushed his hand through his hair before answering Grace’s question. “Some say that it takes two to make a marriage work and two for it to fall apart. I have been trying for years to figure out where I went wrong with my ex-wife, Melissa. I guess one of my mistakes was falling in love with the wrong person. I really loved her. I gave her my full heart and she still left me. She said I wasn’t enough for her. What does that even mean? I gave her all of myself. I showered her with attention, material objects and an abundance of love. I didn’t want her to go. I tried everything to get her to stay. I suggested marriage counseling. My pastor was willing to meet with us, but Melissa would have none of it.” Todd paused for a minute.

  “She just kept repeating that I wasn’t enough for her. She not once even said she was sorry. She just left one night and never came back,” Todd said, staring the entire time out at the water. All the hurt and pain flowed out of him. It took everything within him to keep his emotions in check. Why did he just tell Grace his deepest feelings?

  “I’m really sorry, Todd. I understand what it is like to experience loss. Even though I know that Derek loved me, where is he now? Where is he when the kids are sick and I am up all night with them? Where is he when I am all alone in the evenings? Where is he on all the special occasions and holidays? I built my entire life around him and now I am all alone. I don’t think anyone knows how much they love someone until they are no longer there to love,” Grace confessed, as her eyes were moist.

  “So I allowed everyone to talk me into dating again. I dated several different men and none of them were even respectful enough for me to consider another date. I have given up completely on men. From now on, I am just going to focus on my kids. They are all I have left.”

  Neither spoke for quite some time. Both lost in their own separate pain, yet somehow connected by it. While the pain was present, something else was also there, a mutual understanding. What had been missing in both of their lives was someone who understood what each had experienced. Neither Grace nor Todd wanted to break the special bond of peace which had been created by this realization. Peace had been an emotion which eluded both of them for years. To feel its presence was soothing.

  While standing together, the sun began its majestic decent into the ocean. It was far lovelier than Grace had first imagined it could be. The colors appeared more vibrant. The beams of light bounced off the ocean waves and lit up the sky. Grace’s heart soared. Something inside her began to breathe again. She had no idea its cause, but relished every single second it provided. She paused to thank God. This desire surprised her. After Derek’s death, she completely blocked God out of her life. She blamed God for taking Derek. Yet somehow in that exact instant, she felt compelled to thank God for the beauty before her. It had been so long since she really saw and felt beauty. It stirred her heart.

  Todd was also experiencing the same sensations as Grace. His heart opened again. He felt a freeing sensation that was intoxicating. A warm feeling stirred in his soul as he took in the unfolding changes of the sky. While the sunset was a part of the experience, it was more a symbol of the awakening that was occurring inside of him. He was tired of catering to the negative thoughts which held him in a vice grip. He was done watching life pass him by. He wanted to live again.

  Todd turned to Grace. “Let’s go for a walk down by Sutro Baths. We have time before dinner.”

  Grace happily accepted. “I would really like that.”

  Todd took Grace’s hand in his and led her down the stairs. They walked along the pathway which meandered down to the ocean’s edge. The sun continued its rapid dive, casting various spectrums of colors across the sky. They followed the dirt path through the weather beaten trees and coastal vegetation. Grace couldn’t get enough. Todd’s large hand felt incredible in Grace’s small hand. It was warm and gripped her tightly when they came across challenging areas of terrain. As the sun moved slower down into the ocean, the cool breeze began to push itself out upon the land. Todd took off his sports jacket, and without a word, put it across Grace’s shoulders. Grace felt safe and protected. She could smell his masculine cologne and it brought tingles of desire all over her body.

  Neither wanted to upset the delicate balance they both sensed, so they continued without words. They walked through a tunnel and peered out the end at the ocean. The sun finally met with the water and hovered above it, connecting one to the other for just minutes before splitting off and disappearing into the horizon. Todd led Grace back up the hill. He paused when they reached halfway. He stared Grace in the eyes for what felt like eternity. Grace was unsure what he would do next. He had been the perfect gentleman thus far.

  “Grace, your inner strength has brought me healing today. I will never be able to thank you for that gift,” Todd said as he bent forward to pull Grace into his arms.

  He held her for several minutes, savoring her heartbeat on his chest. She was delicate and strong at the same time. His attraction for her was undeniable, but the feelings which developed that evening went much further than just desire. Grace was very special and he wanted to take his time in getting to know her.

  As Todd pulled away, Grace leaned forward and placed a sweet kiss on his cheek. She smiled and put her hand back in his. They walked to the restaurant. The stars were beginning to come out when they returned. After stepping inside, Grace handed Todd his jacket. They went down to the Terrace Room.

  “Do you have a place to sit?” Grace asked when they re-entered the party. “If not, I have room at my table. My mother-in-law is ill, so she needed to leave.”

  “I would really like to join you,” Todd said, happy that she asked. On the walk back, he was already plotting ways to spend more time with her.

  When they reached the table, Robert was actively engaged in a conversation with a striking couple around Robert’s age. Grace did not know them.

  “Grace!” Robert exclaimed when he saw her, “I wondered where you went. I have been talking non-stop about you. Please meet my dearest and oldest friend Steven and his wife, Tesa. They are Cora’s parents,” Robert said proudly.

  Before Grace could respond, Todd had Cora’s mother in an embrace. “Tesa, it is wonderful to see you. When did you all arrive?” Todd asked with tenderness. Grace was touched to see his affection.

  “Tesa, Steven, I’d like you to meet Grace Locke,” Todd said after finishing his embrace.

  “I have heard so much about you both. It is truly my pleasure to meet you. I am so excited to welcome Cora into the Locke family! She is like a sister to me,” Grace said very warmly.

  “I heard my name,” Cora said, coming up from behind. “Todd, Grace, I was looking for you both. My parents have been asking about you,” Cora said with a puzzling look on her face. She was happy to see that they were sitting together.
“I hope you can stay at this table and keep my parents company.”

  Without giving away his recent interactions with Grace, Todd stated, “Anything for the bride. Grace, is that alright with you?” Todd questioned, giving Grace a secret wink.

  “I would love to talk more with your mom. I want to dig up some dirt on you for the bachelorette party,” Grace said, teasing Cora.

  “Funny, Grace. I will check in with you all later,” Cora replied, happy with her expert matchmaking skills. Maybe if she was lucky, Todd and Grace would find the same happiness that she had with Brent. Cora began scheming ways in her mind to make it happen.

  When Cora found Brent, he knew she was up to something, “You look like a cat prancing around with a bird in its mouth. What are you up to?” Brent inquired.

  “Sweetheart, don’t worry about a thing. I have it covered,” Cora said, peering over at Grace and Todd. They appeared deep in conversation.

  “I have a bad feeling it’s something I won’t like,” Brent stated, unsure what mischief his fiancé was involved in. However, his concern did not last long. Cora was radiant with joy. He wasn’t sure if he had ever seen someone so caught up in bliss. He didn’t want to take that away from her. Whatever she was up to couldn’t be that bad, he thought to himself. His father had an eye on Grace and his mother was home sick in bed. Perhaps Brent’s imagination was getting the best of him. His future wife’s slight paranoia was already rubbing off on him.

  Grace and Todd spent the remainder of the evening side-by-side. Robert was so engaged with his college pal Steven, he paid no attention to Grace. Since Cora and Brent were wrapped up in the celebration, it gave Grace and Todd a chance to get to know one another better without interference.