Where I End

by Michelle Dare

  "You think you're tough?" he asks. "You think you're any match for me? Move aside. Now." He takes three long strides forward, stopping when he is a foot away from me.

  Evie darts out from behind me, the bat raised in her hand like she's ready to hit a fastball. "You won't touch him again," she says through clenched teeth.

  Then, before I can make a move, Everett shoots forward with speed I didn't know he possessed. He wraps his hand around Evie's throat, cutting off her air supply, and plucks the bat from her hand. He leans forward to run his tongue over her lips. Even in her current state, she tries to back away from him. He turns to me while still holding her by the throat. "She tastes good but not as good as you."

  Oh, God, how did this happen? She should never have been in my room, and now he's trying to hurt her before my eyes, and I'm frozen in place, unable to move to save her.

  Evie's eyes start to close a moment before Everett releases her. She crumples to the ground and starts pulling in deep breaths. Once she can catch her breath, she tries to stand. Everett raises the bat and hits her hard on her spine, her body bowing on impact.

  "No!" I yell and lunge forward. I drop to the ground beside her and instantly curl myself over her to protect her as much as I can.

  Everett doesn't hesitate and starts hitting me with the bat instead. "If that's the way you want it," he says. "But know that once I'm done, we're moving on to other things."

  I choke back a sob as tears well in my eyes. It's not from the pain the bat is inflicting or the bones breaking because of the hits. No, I can take the pain. It's the thought of what's to come. I know all too well how that pain is worse than anything he can do with a bat.

  Sixteen

  Eve

  I'm startled awake by Cy screaming out in his sleep. Then he wraps himself around me tightly. So tightly, in fact, that I can't move at all.

  "Too tight," I whisper. I try to squirm, but it's of little use. "You gotta let up, Cy."

  He doesn't. A second later I feel a drop of water on my arm and Cy gasps for breath. He's crying. He’s having a nightmare. My heart immediately splinters open for the pain he must be feeling. I need to wake him and make him realize we're both okay and nowhere near Everett.

  "Cy, wake up," I say gently while rubbing his arm. "Come on, baby, open your eyes. You're dreaming." Maybe if I use the pet name he has for me, I can cut through the nightmare. He has never called me that until we finally got together. Hopefully, I can trigger something in him to make him realize it's just a dream.

  He calls out again. "No, you have to stop." He's crying hard, choking on each word. "Please, no more."

  Tears well in my eyes. I'm crying along with him. Suddenly, he lets go and rolls away from me. I quickly sit up and move so I'm facing him. The early morning sun is coming through the window, giving me just enough light that I can see his eyes are squeezed shut. His legs are spread as his body arches off the bed. Tears are cascading down his cheeks. Oh, my God, Everett must be touching him in his dream. I'm going to hurt that motherfucker for ever touching Cy.

  I find the switch on the lamp by the bed and turn it on. Then I get up and go to the other nightstand and do the same there. I'm afraid if I touch him he'll mistake me for Everett.

  "Cy, wake up. It's not real. Come on, baby. Listen to my voice. He's not here. He's not touching you. It's only you and me. No one else." His body relaxes a little, but he still doesn't wake. I snap my fingers. Nothing. I clap my hands loudly. That works. He sits straight up in bed, his eyes wide, his head swiveling around trying to figure out where he is. They eventually land on me and hold my gaze. His breathing is coming fast, and I notice a bead of sweat slide down his face.

  "It was only a dream," I say, softly. He doesn't move or acknowledge he understands me. "Can you hear me, Cy?" He nods. "You're in Parker's home. You're safe. It's only us here."

  Hesitantly, I close the distance between us but don't reach out to touch him. He lifts one of his hands to caress my cheek, and I don't miss how it trembles. Then he gently moves me so my back is facing him. He lifts the shirt I fell asleep in and runs his shaking hand up and down my spine.

  I glance over my shoulder. "I'm okay."

  His voice is hoarse. "He hit you."

  I shake my head. "No, I've been right here with you all along. I'm safe. We're safe."

  He reaches forward to wrap his arm around my waist and pull me back onto the bed, my back to his chest. He brushes my hair aside as I settle between his legs. His nose lightly drags over my neck. I lay my hands over his, which are holding me tight.

  "It felt so real," he mutters against my skin.

  "I'm sorry. I wish I could help in some way. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to pull you out of your nightmare."

  "You are helping. You're here. That helps more than anything else."

  I want to ask him what happened to me in his nightmare, but I don't dare. I also won't ask what was happening to him. My mind can imagine that all on its own.

  We sit on the bed for a while, me staying in his arms as he begins to relax some, so I can turn and place my ear to his chest to hear his heart beat steadily. He runs his fingers through my hair while the room remains bathed in silence.

  Around ten thirty in the morning, Parker comes home. Cy's bedroom door is open since we were the only ones home. Cy has drifted back to sleep while I stayed awake. I wanted to be able to wake him again, just in case he had another nightmare.

  I can hear Parker walking up the hallway. He stops in front of Cy's door and peers in. I hold my finger to my lips, then as carefully as possible, rise from the bed. Parker's eyes rake me over before he quirks an eyebrow at me. Shit. I'm still in a t-shirt. My bag is still in Cy’s truck. I open one drawer quietly, then another. Luckily, I find a pair of mesh shorts to put on. They are too big, but it’s better than nothing. I forgo the bra. I’m covered. That’s what matters. Plus, Parker has no romantic interest in me, and he would never go behind Cy's back like that.

  Gently closing the door behind me, I leave the bedroom, then follow Parker to the kitchen. My stomach growls, alerting me that I need food.

  Parker says nothing as we enter the kitchen. He reaches in one of the upper cabinets and takes out two bowls and a box of cereal. He places them on the table while I grab milk and juice. He takes out a glass for each of us and we sit down to eat. I don't smile, nor do I speak. I'm still wrapped up in my head, worried about Cy and wondering if he'll ever fully be able to escape Everett.

  "Did he have a nightmare?" Parker asks.

  I lift my head and nod. "It wasn't easy waking him. He's been back asleep for a little bit."

  "I've tried waking him and can't do it every time. Some nights are easy; others it's impossible. I'm not sure what to do."

  "He’s still seeing the doctor, right?"

  Parker nods. "Once a week. He doesn't tell me much, but I notice when he comes home he's in a better mood. Seems to be lighter, if that makes sense."

  "It does. He talks to someone, and maybe it lifts some of the weight he's been carrying around."

  "How are things going between you two?"

  "It's still new, but I feel like I've been with him for a long time. Maybe it's because I've known him for years. Well, not known him. I never really knew him until that day at his house. But he's not a stranger to me."

  He chuckles. "I don't know if that's good or bad."

  I smile. "It's good. I care deeply for him. Everything between us is very intense."

  "I've noticed that about Cy, especially when it comes to you. There’s no middle ground, especially not now that you two are finally together. I think he'd burn down the world if it meant you never felt an ounce of pain again. He regrets everything that happened in high school. It weighs on him a lot."

  "I know. We've talked about it. There's not much more to say. He needs to trust that I'm being truthful with him. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to. I also wouldn't be with him if I were still hurt over the past. What he went
through," I shake my head. "I still can't wrap my head around it. Yes, he picked on me in high school, but I would never have guessed he was going through all he was at home."

  "No, me neither. He kept it buried deep."

  Cy's bedroom door flies open a second before he races down the hallway. When he sees me sitting at the table with Parker, eating breakfast, he stops and stares at me. His chest heaving. I'm not sure what happened, but I immediately stand and walk toward him. He engulfs me in his arms when I’m close. Parker gets up from the table and drops his bowl in the sink. He winks at me as he walks by to go to his room.

  I pull back from Cy and gaze up into his eyes. My hand softly caresses the stubble on his cheek. "Are you okay?"

  "I thought you left."

  "I wouldn't leave without telling you, and how would I get anywhere?" I smile. "You drove me here. I don't have my car."

  "I wasn't thinking about that. Only that when I woke, you weren't in my arms or bed. I panicked." He releases me and runs his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry," he mutters. "I keep waiting for you to bail. I'm a mess. I know that, yet you stay and I have no idea why."

  I lean forward and press my lips to his for a moment and pull back. "Because you're worth it."

  He squeezes his eyes shut and rests his forehead on mine. "You've always been my weakness."

  "I want to be your strength. The person who helps lift you up and makes you see just how amazing you are."

  ****

  Days blur into weeks in the blink of an eye. Being with Cy is explosive, intense, and so fucking worth every second. Every day during the week, I work with Brenda, and every night I spend in bed with Cy, whether it be his or mine. The weekend we spend mostly at mine unless Parker goes out. I do love being at his cabin. It feels like a vacation every time I'm there. The way it's nestled in the mountains, away from everyone and everything, it's perfect.

  Cy's nightmares have lessened, thankfully. He still gets them and I'm usually in them, but he's been working with his psychologist weekly. I've been to one of his appointments and am scheduled to go to another with him. The more he understands why things are happening, or why he behaves a certain way, the better he deals with it. Knowledge really is power, especially in Cy's case.

  His business has also really picked up. Brenda had a problem with her laptop one day and Cy was able to come over and fix it easily. She got lucky that it wasn't a major issue. Since then, she's spread word to her friends locally and around the country about how good he is. Cy gets calls from all over and can remotely connect to their machine and diagnose what's wrong, if they don’t live near us. There are some times when he can't, but mostly he's able to fix it. Work keeping him busy has also been good for him. It leaves little time for his mind to remember all the awful things that have happened to him.

  I also thank the stars above every day that neither of us runs into Everett. With me working so close to Cy's old house and him coming up to fix things as needed, it's been nothing short of a miracle. It's only a matter of time, though. There's no way we can avoid Everett and Risa forever. I'm not worried about me. I can take whatever they have to say. It's what they, well, mostly Everett would say to Cy that has me on edge. It's like things have been too good, and I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  Brenda is leaving tomorrow for a signing in California and asked if I'd like to come with her. I've never been to a book signing and am excited to go. It's only for two nights and then we'll be back in Arrow Falls. I'm nervous about leaving Cy, though he has Parker. I made Parker promise to stay with Cy all weekend and not go out trolling for his next conquest. He laughed at me and said he'd be happy to watch over him while I was away.

  I'm hoping Cy stays at the cabin and doesn't leave. It's wrong of me to hope that. I mean, he's an adult. He can do whatever he wants, but Everett is out there somewhere. He has to leave his house to go shopping, get gas in his car, or whatever. Or what if Cy sees his mom and she says something to trigger him? He’s been going to therapy and doing so well, I just don’t want anything to set him back.

  Then there is the stress of my job. This is the first time I booked travel for Brenda. Sure, I did it a ton for Risa, but this is different. Brenda needs a lot of things to go with her to an event. We shipped books, and anything else we could, out to one of her friends who is local to the signing. She will be driving them in for her. I'm nervous about fucking up during the event. She's a hugely popular author. What if I do or say something wrong?

  Maybe I should stay home. I don’t want to let her down and knew this was part of the job. It's only two nights. I can do this. I have to look on the bright side. I'll get to meet some authors I've only ever read. Plus, I'm sure the signing will be a lot of fun, and I’ve never been to California. Here’s to hoping for a great weekend for us all.

  Seventeen

  Cy

  Evie's been gone for one day and one night. It wasn't bad. I had a dreamless sleep, which I'll take any day of the week. I miss her something terrible, though. I never knew I could miss another person like this. Sure, I used to look forward to seeing her every day before we were together. Now that we are, I see her every night and am busy during the day. The weekends are just the two of us. Sometimes we have a meal with Parker. But I've gotten used to having Evie around all the time. She makes me happy, and that's something I haven't felt in years.

  Normally, I don't work on the weekends unless someone needs something immediately. Like their computer isn’t working at all or does something it's not supposed to and it can't wait until Monday. Today, however, I'm working. It will keep my mind off of Evie being gone. I’m not sure how healthy it is to depend on another person so much, and I don’t want to think about it either. I don’t need another diagnosis. I’ve come to the realization I may never be one-hundred-percent healthy in the head.

  I have a laptop that needs a new hard drive. I could order it, but a trip out of the house might do me some good. There are a few stores in the next town over that might have it. Before going there, I decide to stop for coffee.

  While waiting in line at the small café, I take a minute to let my eyes wander over the other customers. No one I know, thank God. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone. I'm on edge without Evie around and not sure how nice I'll be to someone I don't want to talk to.

  There are two people ahead of me. The one at the counter moves aside to wait for her order. It's when she turns that I realize who it is. Fuck. I debate running back out the door so I don't have to face her, but a moment later her eyes find mine. My body stiffens, my hands clench into fists.

  Her bottom lip begins to tremble, but she takes a deep breath to try and steel her features. She walks to me, stopping a foot away, forcing a smile. "Cy, it's nice to see you."

  I can't help the anger that laces my tone. "Wish I could say the same."

  Her dark hair is pulled into a loose bun, and her black suit is perfectly pressed. "Are you ever coming home?"

  "Home?" I bellow. Every head in the place turns toward me. I drop my voice low and speak through clenched teeth. "That wasn't a home. Hasn't been since Dad died.”

  She glances around and smiles to those still watching us, not wanting anyone to think ill of the Revere family. God forbid! "Please come back to the house with me. I want to talk." She leans in close so no one could hear her but me. "He's gone. I...I threw him out and filed for divorce."

  I pull away from her, my eyes wide. Is she fucking high? She throws him out, after he spends years abusing me, does nothing about it, and now she wants me to talk to her? Holding her eyes, I seethe, "Fuck off."

  The customers in front of me move after placing their order. Harshly, I tell the girl what I want. The barista appears taken aback by my tone, but I'm above caring at this point. I want my coffee and to get the fuck away from my mother.

  When I move to the side to wait, she follows; picking up her ordered drink. "I'm sorry," she says in a hushed voice. “I didn't..." she chokes back a sob, not wanting anyone
to see her cry.

  "You should have been sorry when I first told you. You should have believed me. You should have thrown him out then."

  My coffee is made quickly. I breeze past my mom and walk out the front door. It's then I notice I parked my fucking truck right next to her. Son of a bitch.

  She rushes to catch up with me, the heels of her shoes clicking along the paved parking lot. "I have something I want to give you. If you come back to the house–"

  I spin and level her with a stare. She immediately stops. "If you think I'm ever stepping foot back in that house, you have another thing coming." My voice is raised, but we're outside now. I no longer care if someone hears us. "That place is nothing more than a building that houses memories, which I should never have had. It was dark and brutal. Things I never will forget. I should have been happy. I deserved a normal life and was robbed of it."

  "I'm sorry.” A stray tear runs down her cheek. "Please. Come back and talk to me.”

  "I never want to speak to you again."

  I don't wait for her reaction. I get in my truck and leave without another glance in her direction. She could be standing in the parking lot crying, for all I care.

  I skip the store. I'll order the fucking hard drive. I'm in no shape to work now. Just seeing my mother sends a barrage of memories rushing to the forefront of my mind. I grip the steering wheel hard, as I drive well over the legal limit to get back to Parker's. Warm air whips through the cab of my truck due to the windows being down.

  How many times did I try to tell her Everett was touching me? How many times did I cry and beg for her to listen to me? Now she wants to make things right? That's impossible! She allowed this to happen to me. She fucking knew and did nothing to stop it. Why would a child make that up? Why would I lie about that?

  I was always a good kid. I got good grades, listened to my mom. With Everett came a nightmare I didn't ask for. My grades suffered, my fucking life suffered. I tried so hard to go to another place in my mind when he was in my room. I couldn't escape it, though.