The Westlake Boys

by K R Bicknell

  “I don’t understand.”

  “It would be here, Hannah, in my office. This is a safe space and it’ll be in front of me and just two others. Josh’s parents. Josh won’t be here, neither will any of your peers.”

  I blinked back tears.

  “Hannah. I know it’s not easy but I think we can make Caleb’s case disappear. I want to help the boy, and I think you do too.”

  I pressed my lips together and looked down at my lap again.

  “I’ll do it.” I told him.

  He nodded somberly and thankfully didn’t say anything other than tell me that he’ll call them in as soon as possible and maybe we could get it done as soon as tomorrow.

  I stood up shaking and walked out of his office on wobbly legs. That day after work, I went straight home. I didn’t have the strength for Percy, still feeling shaky.

  For some reason, I didn’t have the guts to say anything during dinner. We were all quiet and serious, Caleb missing again.

  “What happened in court?” I finally asked Harry.

  He sighed, “Pretty much what we expected, Judge gave us a court date. He did advise us to get mediation, but after seeing that boy’s face I don’t see that happening.”

  I want to yell and shout but until I know if our Principal’s attempt is successful, I’m not sure if I should. I have a harder than usual time focusing on my homework and when I think it’s late enough I go to Caleb’s room.

  He’s sitting on his chair, reading.

  “So, you do study,” I say.

  He raises his eyebrows, not saying anything.

  “I, I have something to tell you.” I hesitate at the door.

  “Close the door,” he says and I do.

  I turn around, feeling nervous, and clasp my hands. He comes up and takes my hands in his and I feel my chest muscles relax.

  “I hit Annabelle.” I release the words in a rush.

  “What the fuck?” He steps back, still holding my hands, “Annabelle? Queen B?”

  I nod.

  “I assume that it wasn’t a girly slap?”

  “No, a right hook, I’m...I don’t know what her face looks like now, but it’s probably not pretty.”

  “Shit! Well.” he walks backward and sits on his bed. I stay standing. I have to get this out before I get distracted.

  “Anyways so I got hauled to the principal’s office and he asked me the whole story from the beginning, so I told him how she’s been threatening me for days and what happened at the party.” I pause.

  He’s frowning now. “Which party?” he asks darkly.

  “Coach’s.”

  “What did you tell him, Hannah?”

  “I told him about Josh,” I say in a rush.

  “Hannah.” He says in a growl.

  “No, I had to, he’d asked for the whole story, so I did. And he said that’s, that’s sexual assault,” I pause to inhale, “and if we tell it to Josh’s parents we may, I mean he could convince them to drop the case. Your case.”

  “Shit!” He shouted and stood up, “Why the fuck, Hannah!”

  “It’s good! Why are you shouting?”

  “Because I don’t need you to rescue me, I don’t want your help. I don’t want you to put yourself in the spotlight to save my ass!”

  He is pacing and running his hands through his hair and I don’t understand why he’s so mad.

  “I didn’t ask for your help, Hannah!” He says facing the dark french doors.

  “I know but I want to.”

  “Why?” He turns around. “So I can owe you, so you can come back and say I have to love you because you kept me out of jail?” He shouts.

  “No!” I’m shaking now but I won’t cry, “No! That’s not why? I didn’t ask for your love Caleb Westlake and I never will!” I manage to say without crying but I need to run out of here.

  “Go!” He says as I turn to leave, “go to him tomorrow and tell him you can’t do it.”

  I somehow manage to turn and face him and say, “That’s my decision. Not yours.”

  Caleb

  Yeah, I blew up at her. I shouldn’t have but I couldn’t help it. All I could think about was her, in front of some uncaring adults, having to tell the story. I’m trying to protect her. Keep her safe from just that type of stuff and what does she do? Jump right back in.

  For me.

  Who told her to look out for me?

  I can take care of myself. I’m better off that way.

  Now she’s doing me a favor and she’s going to expect things. She’ll expect the fairy tale. I don’t do the fairy tale. I can’t take care of her. I have enough people to look out for. I can’t handle another one.

  But I hurt her. And it bites.

  I have to fix it.

  Hannah

  Back in my room I lock the door and break down. The stupid asshole. I thought I could help. God, I hate him! When I stop sobbing I sit up. What was I expecting? I beat my pillow. Stupid Family! I hate them all. I hit my pillow again. It wasn’t enough. I needed a punching bag. They had a gym in the basement. I decided to go see if I could find one. If not, maybe I could burn off my anger another way. I really needed to hit something.

  When I open the door, he’s there, standing in the dark hallway, his golden eyes burning. “Hannah.”

  “No,” I say and turn to walk down the hallway.

  “Wait!” he’s right behind me.

  “I don’t want to talk to you!” I keep walking.

  “Stop.” He grabs my arm. I swing and before I know it my knuckles are hitting his jawbone.

  “Fuck!” he yells and moves back.

  The vibrations start from my throbbing hand and move up to run through my whole body.

  “Shit, Girl! I think you dislocated my jaw,” he says as he prods at his face.

  My hand moves up, of its own accord and my fingers touch his cheek.

  “Sorry,” I whisper.

  “Sorry?” He laughs, “That’s a great left hook, it’ll teach me not to mess with you.” He catches my face between his hands and leans his forehead on mine.

  “I’m sorry.” he says, “That was a dick move.”

  “What’s going one here?” Someone says behind me and I move back. It’s Harry.

  “Nothing,” I say.

  “She hit me,” Caleb says, still smiling at me.

  “She did? Huh?” Harry looks at his face, “You probably deserved it. Get some ice on it.”

  Caleb glances at him and then turns to walk back to his room.

  “Did he deserve it?” Harry asks me.

  “No,” I say.

  He just stares at me for a minute, “Hannah, I hope my boys are good to you.”

  “They are,” I say.

  “I mean, I know they are jerks sometimes, but I like to think that they’d never do anything, you know, anything awful.”

  “No. No,” I shake my head and cross my arms, “They’re good, they’re good people.”

  He nods. “I’m glad.”

  “I’m, I’m gonna get some ice for him,” I say and move past him.

  “Oh, you don’t have to. I can do that,” he says.

  “No. No, I want to.”

  He nods and I turn around to walk down to the kitchen.

  When I return to Caleb’s room with the ice he is lying on his bed in the dark.

  “I brought ice,” I say nervously.

  He turns to look at me. His eyes glowing.

  “Um, you should,” I put the ice bag very gently on the side of his face, “just hold it there.”

  He doesn’t move, “I don’t think I can, I think you should.”

  “Caleb!” I protest.

  “Hannah, you hit me.”

  “Yeah,” I laugh, “yeah I did.”

  He grins. “Thank you.”

  I smile and sit on the bed, “You’re so fucked up.”

  “I know.” he says all serious and clasps my wrist with his fingers, “Stay.”

  I don’t know how to resi
st when he says that so I lay down in front of him with my hand holding the ice pack lightly on his face. We just stare at each other in the dark, warm room.

  “I’m glad Percy taught you to fight.” He says.

  “But it’s no use knowing when I freeze.”

  “You didn’t freeze with me,” he says.

  “Oh, that’s because, because I’m not afraid of you. I know you won’t hurt me.”

  “You shouldn’t trust me that much. I hurt everyone.”

  “And yourself?”

  “I don’t get hurt. Ever.”

  “You shouldn’t be so sure of that.”

  “Yeah, apparently you can take me down in one shot.”

  “I didn’t take you down. You just chose not to hit back.”

  “Pretty sure I deserved it.”

  “Yeah, you did. I was so mad at you.”

  His hand comes up and cups my cheek, his thumb caressing lightly.

  “Hannah?”

  “Hmm?”

  “I want you to hurt me. It makes me feel something, gets me out of my funk.”

  “Good, then every time you act like an asshole I’ll come and hit you again.” I say.

  He grins, and is so beautiful I stop breathing.

  “You gonna tell people at school tomorrow?” I finally ask.

  “Hell, yeah!”

  “What are you gonna say happened?”

  “I’ll tell them I made a move on you. It’ll keep both of our reputations intact.”

  I smile. He puts his arm around my waist and pulls me closer. I just watch him till he closes his eyes. Eventually, the ice pack starts melting and I take it off of him and dry his face with a towel from the restroom before I leave to go back to my bed and sleep.

  Caleb

  Hannah fucking Johnson.

  She hit me. She fucking hit me, and then she brought me ice.

  That girl will be the death of me.

  There’s a thing in my chest. It should be hard and black but I think I feel it bleed.

  She hit my face and put a gash in my heart.

  I want to be the guy she sees when she looks at me.

  Hannah

  The next morning I have to wake Jacob up early so Travis can get us to school half an hour earlier for my detention. Jackson has split my two-hour detention to four before-school half-hour sessions. Jacob is crabby but also impressed by the fact that I have detention and what I did to get it. Principal Jackson calls me in at lunchtime and I somehow manage to say my spiel in front of two strangers without freezing up. Mrs. Dell, Jackson’s assistant gave me and encouraging rub on my back as I walked in. “Don’t you worry about a thing, just tell it as it happened. No one can do anything to you.”

  His parents are just like I pictured, his father in a dark suit reminds me of Harry, except he is leaner and grayer, and his mother is blonde and perfect except for her resting bitch face.

  I don’t expect them to like me, but it’s still daunting. The principal tells me to sit next to him and gives me an encouraging nod. I have shortened the story to leave out Annabelle’s part and just tell them about the party, the part when I was there.

  I’m done and they are both silent.

  “Thank you, Hannah.” Jackson says and I get up and leave.

  Mrs. Dell envelopes me in a warm hug before telling me to take a few minutes before going to my next class. I feel numb like a zombie, so I think I’ll be okay until I step out into the hall and most of the basketball team is there and staring at me.

  “Back off everyone!” Jacob walks through them and then holds me tight to his chest. I clench his t-shirt in my fists and breathe in his scent.

  “Brother told me to bring you to him even if I have to carry you.” He says to the top of my head.

  “I don’t...I’m fine.” I say, my face still buried in his chest.

  “Yeah, but I don’t think he is.”

  I pull back and squint at him. “What does everyone know?” I ask.

  “They’re guessing you were telling them something about Josh. Maybe the real reason Caleb beat him up.”

  I close my eyes, starting to feel the shakiness now.

  He kisses my forehead. “You’re such a badass.”

  I shake my head.

  “Want me to carry you now?”

  “No, I can walk.” And I do, holding Jacob’s hand, I walk through the whispers and stares and survive.

  Caleb is in the science lab and just stares when I enter. Jacob stays outside.

  “I’m okay.” I tell Caleb, biting my lip, I want to bury myself in his arms but instead just stand in front of the closed door, holding my elbows in my hands.

  “You don’t look okay.”

  I exhale. He comes up and takes my hands, moving them from my elbows. “Hannah.” He says. I look up. His face is purple on one side but doesn’t look too bad.

  “Thank you.” He says seriously.

  I inhale. “I didn’t do it for you.” I lie.

  “Okay. I’m still glad you did it though.”

  I nod and then give in and rest my forehead on his chest. Slowly, his arms come around me and hold tight and my breathing returns to normal. None of us speak. I wonder what is happening, why I can’t relax till I know he’s okay? I had sworn I’d never become dependent on a man. This was not financial dependency but something else. Something much worse.

  We stand there till the bell rings ending lunch hour, his hands caressing my back, his lips whispering things into my hair that I try to tune out but I still hear.

  “You’re a superhero.” He says, “Like Wonder woman, but with better hair.”

  “Wonder Woman has great hair.” I say into his chest.

  “No, she doesn’t.”

  “You dumbass!” I look up at him, “You’re just crushing on my hair.”

  “No, I’m not.” He says.

  “You want some for yourself, should I cut it and give you?” I pull it forward over my shoulder.

  “Don’t you dare!” He scowls and tugs on it.

  I smile smugly and walk backward to the door. He lets me. I leave the classroom feeling much better.

  The rest of the day is better even though I know people are staring and maybe even talking about me. Avery and her friends show up at my locker asking for the scoop, so I tell them. They are shocked to hear that I punched Annabelle. Even though she isn’t in school today, everyone assumed she was just sick.

  “Both Annabelle and Josh with broken faces.” Avery gloats, “That’ll teach them to get between you two. So what are you? Are you two a thing?”

  “No.” I shake my head, “I don’t know.”

  “Figure it out.” She tells me, “There are lots of girls in line. If he’s yours better make it public.”

  “He’s not mine.” I say.

  “Okay then.” She says and they leave.

  “You want him though?” Mandy whispers after they leave.

  “I’m not sure.” I sigh.

  Jacob

  Yeah, I took her to Brother. I had to. I knew he could make her feel better than I could.

  But I was there to hold her.

  I’ll be there, first string, second string, it doesn’t matter. Somehow I’ll make sure I’m there whenever she needs someone.

  She’s a superhero.

  Caleb

  She’s right, I am crushing on her hair.

  It’s perfect, all long and the color of sunshine in the morning when I run. Pretty sure all of her is perfect.

  Even if she is all covered with freckles. Like the ones on the back of her neck where her skin is like satin.

  She’s right.

  I am crushing.

  Fucking shit, she did it. Even if it doesn’t take the case away, she is my angel.

  She is everything.

  Hannah

  It’s another two days before Harry gives us the good news at dinner that the case has been dropped. Caleb has started joining us for dinner, though he barely speaks in front of the paren
ts. Jacob, on the other hand, has started talking more and insulting less and I’m glad that there’s less awkwardness.

  “Oh, that’s wonderful, Harry!” My mom gushes.

  “Yes, it is. I don’t know what changed their minds, but I am thankful. What about you, Caleb?” Harry asks.

  “Yes Sir,” Caleb stares at him stoically, “Very thankful.”

  “You caught a lucky break, kid.” His dad says, “Don’t screw it up again. Learn to control that temper.”

  “I think I’m done,” Caleb says quietly and stands up. Harry lets him leave.

  After dinner, I can’t focus on homework again so I make my way into his room. I open the door and walk in, he swivels around in his chair. I proceed to straddle his thighs and sit on them putting my arms around his neck. He leans back and looks at me curiously.

  “Tell me you’re a little bit happy.” I say, “Fuck your dad, and everything he said, but aren’t you just a little happy this went away?”

  “What do you want?” he asked, “A big thank you?”

  “No,” I shake my head, “No, I don’t need anything like that. I just...” I look deep into his hazel orbs and decide to be brave, “Just want to see you smile.”

  “I smile.” he says with a huff.

  “Yeah?” I grin, “Not enough.”

  “Listen, Hannah, you want laughs and jokes go to Jacob.”

  “No, I did, I mean I don’t want him, you know that.”

  “Hannah.” he says in that menacing voice I’m sick of.

  “No, no, no!” I stop him with a finger to his lips, “No more saying my name like that like you’re saying so much more. I don’t know what that means and I don’t know what you want. I need your words. So here it is. Caleb, do you want me?”

  He squints and I speak before he does.

  “Don’t say no, because I won’t believe you, you’re like that Katy Perry song, hot one day, cold the next, and it’s just crazy frustrating. So, the best way to figure it out is that you should kiss me.” I finally stop talking and take a breath.

  “No.” he says, cold and final.

  “No, don’t. See it’ll be just like when I kissed Jacob, we’ll be like eww! what were we thinking and it’ll be out of the way and we go on all happy and not at all frustrated that you’re just down the hall.”

  Then it happens. He grabs the back of my head and tugs and his lips are pressed against mine. ‘Shit!’ is the last coherent thought I have before it all goes to hell. He’s warm, and soft, and so much, so much more than I expected. Something lights down below like an inferno and I explode. My arms tighten around his neck and his on my waist. I make a whining noise and he pushes his tongue into my mouth. Fuck! It’s an explosion, he drinks from me like a starving man and me, I can’t get enough of him. I need his skin on mine, his breath in mine, his..., God, I want him inside me! I move back and stand up. He looks up at me dazed. I can’t catch my breath and just need to run.