Cherish and Simon- the First Year

by Eva Morian

  Jr.’s hungry grunts were muffled as he sucked on the pacifier. That is, until that cold wipe once again touched his little butt. They learned he hated the feeling but Simon was far too tired to make a mad dash to the store for a warmer. Now, they kicked themselves.

  It was game on.

  Spatting out the pacifier, Jr.’s little face quickly turned a deep, red shade and a second later he blurted out a wail rivaling Jasmine when she was angry. This situation was delicate enough and Jr.’s almighty cry announced to everyone in the house and the neighbors that he existed. At the worst possible moment.

  Cherish’s fingers were quick to push the pacifier back into his mouth as she quickly wiped his bottom down and placed a fresh diaper on. She then lifted him up and shoved her tit in his mouth but, the damage was already done. Feeling completely sick, she knew her time there was up. She could only sit on the bed, stare at the door, and bump on his little bottom; waiting.

  Jack did a double take out into the hall and charged through as Miriam stuttered for answers, “T-twins? Did…did Emily have twins, Simon? Is that why she…”

  Simon shut his eyes and blew out a sigh. He could hear Jack’s footsteps echo on the stairs causing him to rush and follow. The footsteps approached Cherish and she rocked from one side to the other nervously. Miriam quickly cleaned and changed Jasmine before she too followed. Now, just when they were about to find out the worst possible news, Simon opened his mouth and tried to reason with them, “This was a last-minute coincidence. She needed a home and I couldn’t abandon th—” Before he could finish, Jack opened the door and saw Cherish holding onto his grandson with her breast in his mouth; feeding him.

  Cherish’s nostrils flared out of her own fear as she cradled Jr. in her arm and clenched her jaw. Jasmine rested in Miriam’s arms peacefully. She was a very laid-back baby compared to the male counterpart tugging milk from his mother’s breast. She and Jr. were the only ones who were at peace it seemed.

  Blinking a few times, Jack honestly didn’t know what to think. He had thought the “she” his son in-law had said was referred to the baby. Now, he had a new set of suspicions. Miriam joined the men in the doorway and, at the sight of Cherish, released a tight gasp. She was at a loss for words. Simon looked distressed and tense as he released all the breath in his lungs with defeat.

  Glancing between all of them, Cherish grabbed a receiving blanket, tossed it over Jr., and stood. She opened her mouth to speak only to shut it again. Taking a step forward, she finally spoke, “I…I uh. H-hello? M-my name is Ch-Cherish.” She didn’t think about how wrong the situation looked because she knew the truth. She glanced from Jasmine to Simon and landed Jack’s face, “M-Mr. S-Simon helped me…uh. I-I’m sorry. I…I know I shouldn’t be here but…” She shifted Jr.’s weight beneath the blanket and looked to Simon for help.

  Jumping in with a long sigh, He took a couple of steps into the bedroom and turned to face them, “Cherish is a fast friend of Emily and mine. We met her a bit before Jr.’s birth. By chance, when I was leaving the hospital, I heard them telling Cherish that…” He stopped and looked down at Jasmine. He shut his eyes, “…they told Cherish that the father abandoned them and because she didn’t have a place to live, she would be taken away.” He pointed to Jasmine. Miriam glanced down at the baby in her arms, “So I just jumped in and said I was there to pick Cherish up and I brought her here.” He finished looking back and forth between them with a stressed expression.

  He felt from their returned stares that he needed to explain more. Simon tossed his head back to look at her, “Cherish had just given birth and is recovering. So…I let her have the bed. We discovered last night that Jasmine prefers the bottle and Jr. will only breastfeed. After the doctor’s told me he had dietary issues and to see him eating now, I can’t take it away. He must eat.” He said firmly. Simon lightly shook his head and looked towards the bed. He knew that he’d rubbed salt into their wounds, “I just want you both to know Emily thought the world of Cherish. I just knew, if she were here, she’d do the same for her without question.” He said through gritted teeth. “If she were here.” Those words haunted him.

  Jack was the first to look at his wife. They both then turned their attention down at Jasmine before gazing over at the bundle under the towel. Finally, they rested on the distressed look on Cherish and Simon’s faces. Taking a few steps forward, Miriam handed Jasmine to Simon and gave her one last look. They both seemed stuck, reasonably so since they were emotionally stretched and conflicted.

  Cherish’s glossy eyes looked from one grandparent to the other. She felt as though she had insulted them in the worst way. These people were Emily’s parents and they had just lost their daughter. She couldn’t even fathom how they felt to see her there when it should’ve been Emily. Miriam backed away while Jack placed his arm around her, “Just…give us some time.” He whispered with a nod and leading Miriam away in silence.

  Cherish clenched her jaw even harder, “I-I’m sorry.” She whispered. Jr. had fallen asleep under the blanket. Removing him, she placed the pacifier into his mouth. She handed him off to Simon and switched for Jasmine. With her head kept down, she held her little girl close to her chest. She didn’t know what to do. She knew Emily’s parents didn’t want her around and she did not want to be more of a burden to Simon. Sitting on the bed, she stared down at Jasmine, and thought about their arrangement. Like it or not, she was in the wrong. Maybe she could search for homeless shelters for women with children. Those existed, right? Perhaps she could ask. After all, she really couldn’t expect Simon to take care of her financially until she was able to get a job. The guilt she carried only grew heavier.

  Simon looked back at Cherish and watched her movements. He left the room with Jr. in his arms to show his in-laws out and face the music.

  Having rested Jasmine on the center of the bed, Cherish took her bag into the bathroom. She plugged up the sink with warm water and began to scrub her little onesies with soap. It was already decided if they asked her to leave, she would. Without question. But, then there was Jr., he needed to eat. No, no he had his father and he would have to get used to the bottle. He would be alright. So why did the thought hurt so much and so quickly? Cherish shook her head as she wrung Jasmine’s clothes out and hung them on the towel rack. Returning to the bedroom, she began to fold and pack away what little she had as Jasmine slept away. With every fiber in her, she tried not to cry but could still see the look of complete distaste on Emily’s parents’ faces.

  Walking with them to the door, Simon stopped and pulled them both into a one-armed hug; apologizing softly. Letting them go, he searched their eyes. They were good people and didn’t deserve what had been dealt, “I’ll call when you’re settled into the hotel and we can talk then. You’re welcome here any time, any time at all.” He said.

  Their attention slowly drifted to Jr. Now they could see their true grandson in all his glory and saw that he was a spitting image of his father. Pausing a long moment, Jack then nodded as Miriam reached out to the baby. She stroked his little head sadly, pinched his cheek lightly, and left the house. At least they got to see him.

  Once the door closed, Simon turned his attention back to the stairs. He worried about the position he placed Cherish in. With a sigh, he traveled up the steps once more, opened the door, and sighed, “That was horrible timing. Hopefully they’ll come back. No, I know they will. Maybe tomorrow. They’re good people.” He stated to himself.

  Cherish was about to return to the bathroom but stopped shortly. She stared at Simon and shook her head, “N-no. They deserve to come. After all, they’re family. I’m sure they’d love to see Jr.” She replied hoarsely.

  Simon noticed the distress on her face and in her voice, “Cherish?”

  She took a step towards the bathroom and turned those brown eyes upwards at him, “M-mhm?” She hummed.

  Stepping in front of her, he was caught by her impressionable features. He saw a woman in dire need of comfort. She spoke
only about him and Emily’s family. She thought nothing about herself and what she’d been through; alone. This kind of stress wasn’t needed on either of them. Clearing his throat, he lowered his face and stared at her over the rim of his glasses, “I’d like to apologize. I want you to know that this is not your fault. I don’t feel as though I’ve done anything wrong by bringing you here. I know what it looks like to them…”

  Cherish stared silently as Simon clutched Jr. against his chest. Oh no, he was apologizing. This wasn’t right. He had nothing to be sorry for. He was the one who opened his arms and home to her and Jasmine. If anything, she thought she should be the one to apologize because he was in a sensitive situation.

  Simon didn’t know what else to stay but still stood in the door-way. Wetting his lips, he took a quick breath, “I…we didn’t talk much about this but thank you. Thank you for being here and helping me. Last night would’ve been a real nightmare. Sometimes it still feels like one but I’m thankful of you for being here.” He finished with a nod.

  Cherish wanted to interrupt Simon and yet all she could do was listen weakly to what he had to say. Now he thanked her for what she did when oddly they were in this together? Sure, she took care and fed his son, but he did the same for her daughter. If she left, then Simon would truly be alone; both of them.

  Jr. squirmed in his arms and Simon decided to put him down. He went to the bed and lifted Jasmine in the air. Setting her by his son, he then began to strip the bed and change the sheets. He didn’t have a thought to ask the two of them to leave. In fact, he didn’t know how close Cherish was from walking out of his life; not into it as assumed.

  Lowering her head, Cherish disappeared into the bathroom with a soft click. Simon’s voice ran through her mind. This was the first time she ever felt needed. It was new; nice. If staying made Simon and Jr.’s life easier with her help, then she’d stay.

  Simon carried the bedsheets down the stairs. Even though hell had frozen over, and his life was in shambles, he felt good. At least to the fact that he said what was on his chest and he was able to find some sort of calm ground. Shaky as it was and how it would be in the coming days but at least he could appreciate what he had. He pushed the blankets and sheets into the machine and took quite some time to read over the instructions. There were too many settings for his liking and four different boxes of washing powder. What the hell was it all for? Finally, after five minutes, the machine tumbled to life. He would find out sooner or later if he did it right or not.

  He wandered the first floor of the house aimlessly. He wasn’t very tired, so a nap was off the table. He looked through the French doors off the dining room into his office. He didn’t have to work for a few more weeks. He didn’t want television nor was he hungry. Books seemed useless, games were better with a partner, and cleaning was out of the question. Before long, Simon had drifted back up the stairs and found himself by the crib. He watched the babies with adoration. The back of his mind still reeled on what to do with Emily’s parents and if they didn’t want to return. There was a bit of doubt making believe that in the four years he and Emily had been married they didn’t want to see him again. No, he had faith in them. He’d called them mom and dad throughout the years. They always had a way of seeing the truth and good in other people.

  He trusted them.

  Blowing out, Simon felt boxed in without a thing to do. Cherish and the kids couldn’t leave the house because they were too young, and she was still recovering. He scratched the back of his head and noticed her bag. She didn’t have much at all and he’d hardly realized it. A thought about the papers he’d have to fill out for Emily caused his stomach to feel weighted. No, he couldn’t do that yet. Instead, he needed a distraction and knocked on the bathroom door, “Cherish. I’m going downtown, do you need or want anything?” He asked.

  Cherish flushed the toilet and washed her hands. Perfect timing, she had quite a few things she needed, but now she felt bad for asking. Opening the door with a soft creak, she turned her face upwards and stared at him for a long moment. She then sighed, “I don’t want you to think I’m a bother, but I really don’t have anything for myself. I need quite a bit, but I don’t expect you to get it all. Unless you want to be alone. Then I understand. I absolutely need some pads. Heavy duty pads. Breastfeeding cream, u-underwear…”

  Simon could tell Cherish had trouble asking for anything. To him, she wasn’t a charity case. She was a woman who was given a crappy hand in life. He didn’t care how embarrassing the items were, she wasn’t in complete health to be walking about. Though, as she listed a few items off, he realized he was a bit in over his head. Breastfeeding cream? He’d have to shop for another woman’s underwear?

  Good God.

  Sighing, she shook her head passing him by. She went for the pen and paper on one of the end tables. Cherish scribbled a list of items she’d need before ripping it off and handing it to him, “I am also pretty hungry. No, I’m very hungry. Could you help me bring them downstairs, please?” She asked.

  Taking the note, he folded, and placed it into his back pocket. Nodding, he went for Jasmine and lifted her in his arms. Giving him a weak smile, she wandered to the crib, “Thank you.” She said lifting Jr.. Rubbing Jasmine’s calm head, she left the room with Simon and slowly began to descend the stairs.

  Simon slowly made his way down behind Cherish. It appeared she was more stable on her legs than yesterday. With a huff, she placed Jr. in the crib and wandered towards the kitchen. Setting Jasmine beside Jr. carefully, he followed. He liked how at home she looked after finally venturing out of the bedroom.

  Opening both doors to the fridge, she saw they had a decent amount of food. More than she’d seen before at one time in her own home, “I’ll…have dinner ready by the time you get back. Oh! I forgot. The nurses were telling me about this checkup the babies need to have after their born.” She said.

  Simon paused beside her and he patted a palm against his head, “Right, right. The doctor’s appointment.” He muttered to himself.

  She pulled a package fruit salad from the fridge, “C-could you drop Jasmine and I off at one of the Medicaid offices? Or you could show me the nearest bus stop is. I…oh…” Resting the container on the counter, she rolled her lips in, “Do they have a Medicaid office here?” She whispered to herself.

  “A Medicaid office? I think there’s one in the next town over.” He answered.

  Shaking her head, she smiled at Simon, “Oh no, that’s too far. W-well if anything, Jr. can go to the doctor tomorrow and I’ll look around to find a place for Jasmine. Where’s the bus stop?” She questioned.

  Simon was quick to cut in, “How about you two just tag along with Jr. and me? I already have appointment.” He reasoned.

  Cherish stared down at the kitchen counter for a long moment, “I can’t afford that. I…if you could just help me find the Medicaid office. I can at least sign up for insurance there.” She expressed.

  Simon wet his lips, “I do have Jr.’s stroller but the bus isn’t the safest place for you or Jasmine.” He replied.

  About to protest, she quickly fought against that urge, “O-okay.” She whispered quietly.

  Noticing how fast she shut down, he was about to ask her what she had to say but decided not to. He didn’t want to push her buttons just as she didn’t want to push his. Turning to take his wallet from the counter, he lifted his finger, and tapped against his brow, “Oh and if the phone rings, please answer it. I’m expecting a call and you can just tell them I’m out and to leave a message.” He remembered.

  Cherish bit on her bottom lip as she nodded and forced a smile. Simon did the same before he left on his venture of feminine products. He did hope she’d have better luck than he would at the shop.

  Alone in a large, foreign home in the wake of Emily’s passing made uneasy. A little coo resonated from the crib and Cherish silently made her way over peering in. She stared at the little babies resting side by side. Both of their lips were pouted,
and their heads were lightly pressed together. Figuring she only had a couple of hours before they woke up, she backed away and returned to the fridge. A simple meal plan came to mind; homemade macaroni and cheese with baked chicken. That would be easy enough and she wouldn’t have to stand on her feet for too long.

  Off to the mall Simon went to bring home what his new guest needed to be comfortable. He passed by a few shoe shops, the food court, and clothing boutiques, but didn’t see many underwear sections. Pausing, he stopped for a moment and thought about where Emily would take him when she needed new garments. Within five minutes, Simon stood in front of a Victoria Secret. He stared at the hot pink walls and the women within with a look of minute horror. He shut his eyes, inhaled a deep breath, and stepped in confidently as though he belonged.

  That self-assurance was short lived.

  He was the only man in the store and the attendants stared at him as he strolled right to the undies. Simon cut a gaze out of his peripherals and started to lift one after another in the air to assess them. The first pair was far too small, Emily sized. The second was massive and a little too thick from what he’d seen in Cherish. He continued to sift through the different sizes and held them up to himself. A few shoppers eyed him oddly and, finally, an attendant approached him clearing her throat. Simon jumped and spun around quickly. His eyes were wide as he crumpled the underwear in his hands.

  The petite redhead gave him a customer worthy smile, “Excuse me sir, is there anything I can help you with?” She asked.

  Although she sounded helpful, Simon could see in her eyes she thought he was a creep. His face flushed a shade of red before he gave a nervous laugh, “W-well, you see, I’m buying this for my…friend. A-and she is nice, curvy, and thick.” He explained.

  The woman raised her eyebrows and she mocked a nod to show understand, “Oh. A friend.” She repeated.