Unwilling (Book One of the Compelled Trilogy 1)

by Kristen Pike

  “What I wanted to.” He replied, his breaths coming out slower though his heart pounded in frustration. It’s all so wrong, he thought, rubbing his eyes with his palms.

  “You can’t do that. I’m with Jace.” She told him accusingly.

  Carter felt anger rear up suddenly. “Jace? You deserve someone so much better than JACE! What does he do? Is he a blacksmith? A tailor? ” Carter demanded. Elias would never approve of Jace.

  “He’s a baker.” Rowan said proudly, hitching her chin higher.

  “A baker? Rowan, what can he give you? You deserve someone who can give you the world!” Carter almost yelled, stunned that she didn’t realize just how significant she was.

  “Like you?” Rowan demanded and Carter almost smiled at her fiery expression, but refrained.

  “Well no, not me exactly...” Carter shook his head, if she only knew.

  “Why do you think you can strut into my life and dictate how I live it? I barely know you!” Rowan practically shouted, causing a flock of nearby birds to squawk and take flight, throwing her hands out to the side in exasperation.

  “That’s not true, from the moment I saw you I knew everything about you, and you could know everything about me but you’re too naive to even look past the surface! That’s how it works, the sense!” Carter told her and it was the truth, she just did not want to see it.

  “Stay away from me. Do not come near me or Jace.” She demanded turning to storm back off into the trees but hesitated, pausing and turning on her heel to look back at him. “How could you let him do it?” She asked, her voice tinged with a desperate sadness.

  “What?” Carter asked, caught off guard by her question.

  “Elias, if you’ve been with him for so long, how could you let him do the horrible things he’s done?” Rowan asked, “What kind of person does that make you?”

  “A complicated one.” Carter answered; praying to the Gods Elias never looked at him with the crippling blame Rowan was looking at him with.

  Rowan said nothing as she turned and left, disappearing back through the trees silently, leaving Carter feeling like he had just been trampled by a thousand horses.

  THIRTY

  “Well in my opinion it’s the fastest way.” Carter said, coolly as always.

  “Well I don’t care for your opinion at all!” Rowan shot back hotly. Jace looked between Rowan and Carter, who were once again arguing.

  “It’s the best way.” Carter repeated himself, staring directly at Rowan who, Jace noticed, hadn’t so much as looked at Carter in the few days that they had been traveling.

  “Do you always think your way is the best way?” Rowan countered, glaring at the dirt.

  “Generally yes.” Carter mused, a smile playing about his lips.

  Rowan made a feral sound in her throat and stormed off, leaving Jace standing awkwardly next to Carter.

  “Does that mean I’ve won?” Carter asked Jace, who only glared back at him. Jace said nothing as he turned and followed Rowan. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He heard Carter say behind him.

  Rowan stood shaking a few feet away from him and he touched her back as he came up behind her. She jumped and recoiled at his touch. A hurt look crossed his face but he did not let Rowan see the turmoil that had worked its way into him. She had a lot to deal with and she did not need him projecting his insecurities onto her. “Looks like we’re going straight through the river.” He told her.

  “But that’s so ludicrous!” Rowan shouted, whirling around to face him. “The rapids are too strong and the horses will never be able to swim across that. He’s going to get us all killed.” Rowan grumbled under her breath, staring off in the general direction of Carter.

  Jace looked at her. She was angry and trembling, and there was something about the way she looked at Carter that made him feel defeated. “What happened between you two, Rowan?” Jace asked the question he had wanted to ask for days now and as soon as the question left his mouth he desperately wished that he could just suck the words back in and never speak them.

  “Jace?” Rowan shook her head, looking at him helplessly. Her sapphire eyes full of pain.

  “I don’t want to know. It’s ok, I don’t want to know.” Jace decided, enfolding Rowan in his arms. Jace knew he would love her no matter what, so what was the point in causing them both heartache?

  “Jace.” Rowan deflated against his shoulder. He was not much taller than her, her head came to just under his nose. Her hair prickled his lips but he didn’t mind. “I’m sorry.” She said quietly, moving her head back to look at him. Jace refrained from asking what she should be sorry for.

  Jace’s heart twinged as he looked at her, her lips slightly parted, her arms wrapping around him. He bent his head slowly, giving her time to pull away. His entire body hummed and tingled with the contact of her. If I live for another hundred years, I’ll never get tired of holding her in my arms.

  They kissed slowly and Jace knew Rowan was being reserved, distracted. He tried to deepen the kiss but Rowan pulled away. Jace wanted to protest but if Rowan didn’t feel like kissing him then he wouldn’t force her.

  At that moment, Pickard chose to dash up to them, his face lit up with excitement. “Were going home!” He announced, skittering to a stop in front of them, breathing heavy.

  “What?” Rowan squeaked out beside him, disentangling her arms from Jace and taking a step back. Jace felt suddenly cold and his body yearned for her pressure against his again.

  “The river were crossing, it runs just behind Gavaint!” Pickard proclaimed. Jace looked at Rowan questioningly. Her eyes were clouded and Jace saw a mixture of emotions flicking through them. Anger, fear, joy, and something else he couldn’t identify.

  Pickard rambled off towards the river, shouting something unintelligible at any one who would listen, without a word to Jace, Rowan started toward the raging river, where everyone had gathered.

  When they were within earshot Jace noted the curious glance Carter looked at Rowan with, who was now staring at the ground shaking her head. He wondered what they had said to each other and he never felt such a strong urge to smash someone in the face as he did then.

  Carter would always have the upper hand when it came to Rowan; and for that, he would always hate him. Just on principle.

  “We will send the majority of our group and the horses to the bridge about two days ride from here, they will meet us in Daria. Rowan, Jace,” Carter nodded to each of them in turn, his voice authoritive as he told them the plan, “and myself, along with Chev and Pickard, who refuses to NOT cross, will make our way straight through the river. Varin, I want you with me.” Carter said, nodding to a burly soldier, who grunted in reply but continued to stare straight ahead, as if he could see the air in front of him if he concentrated hard enough.

  Carter clapped his hands once and their group broke apart, the puppet men leading the horses off, not even bothering to say goodbye. They wouldn’t be seeing each other again until they were back with Elias, who seemed to have permanently settled down in Daria.

  Jace eyed the river wearily. The water rushed rapidly and if they were not careful, someone would be sucked under, and likely drowned. Jace thought this was a horrible plan, they only had small stones to jump across to the other side, any small misstep and the river would claim them.

  Carter turned, eyeing the river with amusement. Jace could see excitement filling in his eyes. Without a word, Carter hopped across the rocks and made the long jump from the last rock to the other side in one fluid motion. He made it look easy and when he righted himself and turned back to face them it was with a smirk. He seemed to look right at Jace, smug.

  Jace’s blood boiled, but he tried to push it down, now wasn’t the time to get mad, he needed to concentrate and stay focused. Chev went next, making it across without a hitch, but unlike Carter he didn’t smile when he reached the other side, he stood stark still in a very Chev like manner, he appeared almost bored. Pickard followed, not making the fu
ll jump from the last rock, and slipped just at the riverbeds edge, his foot falling into the water.

  Chev and Carter helped pull him up and once Pickard stood he hooted, shaking his foot and flinging water in all directions, a wild grin making its way across his face. Varin made his way across, moving swiftly despite his stocky build. He too, made it across without a problem. Jace stood with Rowan on the other side and wondered if perhaps it was just going to be that easy.

  “Go on ahead.” Jace said, nodding to Rowan. She looked at him quickly and Jace could see her eyes were full of doubt but she stepped bravely to the river’s edge anyway, and began hopping across the stones.

  Half way through she stopped suddenly, her head darting up to look at Carter, who still wore his ridiculous smirk. Rowan hesitated, whatever Carter had said to her throwing her off. Jace watched in horror as her footing began to shift, and before he could blink, she was in the turbulent water.

  “JACE!” Rowan screamed, her head bobbing in and out of the rapids. Jace’s heart raced with fear as he ran down the riverbank, chasing her. He could see her head popping out of the water at intervals, her arms thrashing in the surging water as she tried to stay above the surface.

  Jace’s lungs seared with fire as he sprinted, trying to reach Rowan. A large boulder stuck out of the water just ahead of her and Jace hoped she would catch onto it. Jace’s mind raced as he ran, his footfalls echoing in his head as he pounded along. His eyes were large, scanning the water for Rowan. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Carter running along with him, on the opposite bank.

  He turned his head as Carter tore his shirt over his head, exposing his chest and formed abdomen. Carter continued to sprint as he took off his shoes, leaving his clothing in a line behind him. Jace watched as Carter did what he could not, and dove boldly into the roiling water, headfirst, in a perfect arc.

  THIRTY-ONE

  Jace raced along the riverbed, his heart thudding painfully in his chest. Rowan had caught onto a root sticking out of the large boulder and Jace’s heart skipped a beat, hopeful. Rowan was coughing as Carter reached her. He said something to her, either aloud or in her head, Jace was not sure, but she nodded and wrapped her arms around him, their bodies pressed tightly together.

  Rowan nodded again, closing her eyes as Carter released the hold he had on the massive rock, and they both went hurtling back down the river.

  “Damnit!” Jace cursed as he followed them. He barely blinked as he traced them, not wanting to lose sight of Rowan in the stampeding water. There was Carter, his blonde hair matted to his head, disappearing back under the water as fast as he had appeared. Jace could see Rowans black hair bobbing to the surface, then dragged back under again. Each time he caught sight of them, they were slightly closer to the rivers bank opposite of Jace.

  When Jace saw them again, Carter had caught hold of a low hanging branch from a tree. His hand shooting up through the water, catching the thin, willowy, branch and holding fast. Rowan looked limp in his other arm. Carters arm was taut across her back, gripping her to him.

  Pickard was running to catch up to Varin and Chev who had barreled forward, both silent as they reached down into the water and pulled up first Rowan, who looked pale and lifeless, then Carter, who immediately bent down over Rowan, pressing his head to her chest.

  Jace scanned the area frantically, desperate to cross the river. Twenty feet down from him, two trees bent over the river, one on each bank toward each other. If he jumped just perfectly he could jump from one tree to the other, and make it across.

  Carter was yelling something at Varin, but Jace didn’t catch it as he hurtled toward the tree. He vaulted into it, weaving his body through the branches until he reached the one he wanted. He edged out onto the thin branch, praying to all the Gods that it didn’t snap.

  He went out as far as he could without snapping the thinning limb, his legs dangling over the river. He stood wobbly, his heart hysterically hammering in his chest. Jace leaped, his heart slamming into his stomach as he was suspended in midair for

  One,

  Two,

  Three seconds.

  His hands darted out catching the other trees branch. This one was sturdier and only bent slightly as it caught Jace’s weight. Jace cringed as his palms burned but he continued along the branch, edging breathlessly down it until he could touch the tree trunk. He made his way rapidly down the tree, and stopped short, when he looked back at Rowan.

  She lay absolutely still but it was Carter that made him stop cold. He was bent over Rowan, his lips locked with hers, his arms on either side of her head. Jace’s mind went blank and he ran at them, white rage seeping through his veins.

  “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?” Jace roared, shoving Carter when he got close enough. Carter stumbled backward to the ground, a look of pure fury crossing his features. He did not respond to Jace however and tried to lean back over Rowan. Jace shoved him and he once again went sprawling backwards.

  “Damnit Jace!” Carter spat and made a motion toward Varin, but it was Chev who stepped toward Jace. Jace swung at Chev, who dodged it easily. Around Chev Jace could see that Carter was once again kissing Rowan and he yelled something in his throat. Jace didn’t know what it was but it sounded something like ‘I’ll kill you’ in his head.

  Jace stumbled toward Carter again but Chev grabbed him, spinning him around so that Jace’s back was pressed to Chev’s chest. Jace’s arms were held behind his head as Chev’s muscular arms wrapped around his shoulders, pinning Jace immobile to him.

  Jace thrashed against him but it was no use. Chev was twice his size and many more times stronger. Jace watched helplessly as Carter removed his lips from Rowan’s and began pressing his palms over her heart, pumping them up and down.

  Jace stopped struggling and watched as Carter once more bent down and then repeated pumping her chest. Carter was just about to bend over her again when Rowan coughed, water spewing from her mouth. Carter pulled her into a sitting position as she heaved, cradling her to his chest and thumping her back softly.

  When she was done coughing she looked up at Carter, her blue eyes rimmed in red and bloodshot. “I know.” Carter said with a smirk, his blue, almost white eyes, looking back into Rowan’s. Chev released Jace but he only stood there, feeling lost.

  THIRTY-TWO

  Rowan limped along beside Jace, who had his arm around her waist, holding her up. He had been unusually silent as they left the riverbank. Rowan’s lungs felt like they had fire in them; it hurt to breathe and she was sure her stitches had split open. Her side throbbed but when she looked down, her soaking shirt was only drenched in water, not blood.

  She remembered going into the water. She had caught an image in Carters mind, of him and Elias. It had been so unexpected she had slipped. She remembered shouting for Jace, but it was Carter that had come to her on that rock. He had told her to trust him, and she had.

  The next thing she knew she was spitting out water, Carter leaning over her. You saved me, again, was all she had said and he had replied in his normal cocky manner, I know. Rowan had wanted to hit him then.

  Couldn’t he just say you’re welcome, or something normal? But she had been too tired to strike him and Carter quickly withdrew, letting Jace surround her with his arms. Who hadn’t said a word to her since.

  They had been walking for almost an hour. Rowan knew they would see it soon, her childhood home. Her heart beat in trepidation, her mind whirling. Would the house look the same, each room left to gather dust exactly as I had left it? Or would someone have come in the almost year I have been gone, clearing out the house and making it their own. Rowan didn’t know which would be worse.

  Rowan knew this time of year, with the nights beginning to grow colder, that the trees surrounding her home would just be turning red, and brown, and yellow. Elias always loved to paint the trees as they turned for fall.

  Rowans heartbeat picked up as she began to recognize her surroundings. In just a few mo
re steps, they would come into the clearing where her house stood.

  Even as Rowan thought this, they stepped from the trees into the immense clearing. Rowan sighed, looking up at her house, which towered over them three stories tall. Their small group gathered, standing closely together as they all admired the house. Except Varin, who looked straight in front of him, barely blinking. Except Rowan. Rowan looked sadly at the two graves at the far side of the clearing. Nothing marked the graves save for a small pile of rocks atop each one. Rowan knew no one would know the graves were there unless they had been the one to dig them. Elias had dug one, Rowan the other.

  “Quaint.” Carter said sarcastically, tilting his head back to look up at the house. “Shall we?” He asked, strutting toward the house. The wind had begun to pick up and brought a chill with it, and Rowan could tell he was eager to get out of it.

  “You go ahead, I have something I need to do.” Rowan told Jace, who gave her a questioning look, but still said nothing to her as he left her and followed the others into the warmth of the house. Rowan felt a prickle of disappointment that he had been so willing to part with her.

  She had expected Jace to protest at least a little bit; after all, she had nearly died not two hours before. The Jace she knew would have refused to leave her side. Maybe Carter had told him about their kiss, though Rowan doubted that. Rowan knew she needed to tell him, but it wasn’t something she knew how to explain. To tell him Carter had kissed her, but it wasn’t something she had wanted. After all, she detested Carter the majority of the time.

  As Rowan lost herself to her thoughts, she had made her way across the expansive yard. The grass had grown tall and the Great Tree’s long, sturdy branches blotted out half the sun, the tree growing unruly without any preening.

  Rowan stopped in front of the graves. Grass had grown back over them and Rowan had to poke around the soft green blades to spot the pile of rocks. Seeing them did not make her feel sorrow, as she had thought, but instead filled her with an astounding emptiness that made her ache inside.