Finding Our Hearts
Page 6
“Yep. Just fine. Great, actually.” I drank up my coffee, and as I stood to put the mug in the dishwasher and put an end to the inquisition, I noticed Mum was nowhere in sight. Hmm, if Kathy had waited for us to be alone, I knew it was because my little sister wanted to get all the inside scoop on my relationship, something she knew I wouldn’t talk about if our mother was around.
“David.” Her tone was worse than the one my mother used when she scolded us—and I knew something about it, because even at twenty-seven I still got to hear it every so often whenever I acted like a child. I shrugged but didn’t turn back. I was sure she’d be able to tell I was lying. “Look at me and tell me everything’s fine between you and Michelle.”
I let out an annoyed snort. What was the matter with her? Just because she had the perfect Disney-like fairytale relationship didn’t mean that everyone else was as lucky. Maybe we had our problems, but this was nothing she should be concerned about.
“Since when have you turned into a relationship counselor?” My tone was harsher than I’d meant, but I couldn’t take it back. I looked down when her hand touched my arm and when I looked up again her big blue eyes stared at me with a mix of affection and worry. I didn’t want her to worry about me—not after everything she’d been through last year.
“Since your girlfriend called me to ask if I knew what was wrong with you.”
I flinched as if her fingers had just scalded me, and instinctively folded my arms across my chest.
“There’s nothing wrong with me. Or with us. We’re fine.” I said, irritation growing inside me. If Michelle thought we had a problem, she should’ve talked about it with me, not with my little sister, whom she’d barely seen a few times.
“Don’t be like that; she’s only worried about you. She says sometimes you look troubled but when she asks you, you say you’re fine.”
I rolled my eyes. “Because I am fine. Jaisus, what’s wrong with you women? You always have to see something wrong even when everything’s perfectly all right.” I moved away from her, but she grabbed my arm again.
“Talk to me, David.” Her tone was all but begging, and I knew that if I told her about the dreams and how I was feeling about Declan, she’d understand. Hell, she’d been the one who’d gone through all this first, and she’d been the one pulling the whole family from the pit of despair we’d fallen into after the accident. There’d be no better person to listen to my rants now. But I didn’t want to trouble her; she was all excited about her wedding, about her soon-to-be-released book and the new house she was just about to move into with her fiancé—she didn’t need me unloading my troubles on her happy life.
“I said I’m fine. Why are you so annoying?”
She let out a sigh and squeezed my forearm. “Because I’m your sister and I know you’re not okay. I know you probably don’t want to talk about it with Michelle, but if it’s about Deco, you know you can talk with me.”
I spun and put both my hands on my pixie sister’s shoulders. “If I ever need to talk about anything, I swear I’ll drive up to County Sligo and use you as my personal counselor.” She smiled and I gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze. “But I can assure you nothing’s wrong, and I will speak to Michelle and reassure her, too. We’re doing just fine. Maybe we don’t see as much of each other as we’d like, but when we’re together, we’re great.”
She narrowed her eyes and inspected my face for a hint of a lie. When she couldn’t find any, thanks to my happy-face mask I’d perfected over the months, she let her shoulders relax and nodded.
“Now that the third degree is over, would you like to tell me to what do we owe the pleasure of your presence?”
Kathy smiled and her eyes sparkled with excitement. “I have a meeting with the manager at Eason. The publisher set up a book signing in their bookshop, so he thought I’d better come down here and discuss the details in person.”
Earlier in the year, Kathy had been offered a contract with a Dublin publisher for the book she’d written about angels, her angel—our dead brother, to be precise. Just before she left for Miami, she told us they’d finally come up with a release date: January 5th, the day of the accident. The day our brother died.
I let out a whistle. “A book signing? Wow. Should I start looking for paparazzi camped outside our house?”
Kathy laughed and gave me a playful shove—not that she managed to make me move an inch anyway.
“It’s because I need to spread the word about my book that I have to do as many public appearances as possible. Since I’m from Galway, the publisher thought that besides Eason in Dublin, I should also show up at Eason here. It’ll be sometime in January.” She shrugged sheepishly and rubbed off an imaginary dirt mark on the kitchen counter. “Maybe you could invite your fellow professors or your students, and Michelle could invite some of her friends; at least someone will show up and I won’t be sitting there pulling out my hair in despair.”
Claire’s face popped up immediately when I thought of someone I could invite to the signing. Maybe it was because I knew Michelle’s presence would go without saying, so there was no reason for me to think about her first. Still, I felt a little guilty—again. And a little weird, too, thinking of the two of them in the same room.
“I’ll put up posters in pubs and on every street lamp around the city. I’m sure lots of people would show up if there was a picture of you in a bikini on the ads.”
“David!” Her eyebrows shot up, and I shrugged.
“What? I’m sure Colin took at least one of you when you were in Miami. I’ll have him send it over to me and with a bit of Photoshop we could—”
I couldn’t finish the sentence because the head slap she gave me made me flinch. Hell, for such a tiny thing she sure knew how to hurt.
Our chat was interrupted by the front door slamming shut. Both Kathy and I winced, but before we could open our mouths or go and check what had happened, our little sister Maggie stormed into the kitchen and froze when she saw us. Her face was beet red and her hand fisted around the belt of her messenger bag so tight it looked as if her knuckles were going to pop out of her skin.
She briefly stared at Kathy, then glowered at me.
“What?” she all but growled before stomping toward the fridge and yanking the door open. After twenty-one years of knowing her, I’d gotten used to Maggie’s mood swings, especially after she’d turned from the spoilt little baby of the family into a sulky teenager who thought she owned the world and all its inhabitants. This looked worse than usual, though, and after the last time I’d tried to offer help and she’d yelled like a banshee while throwing her book at me, I knew it would be safer to let her be. A sulky Maggie was annoying—an upset Maggie was dangerous. And since the knife block was within arm’s reach, I didn’t want to risk having a blade thrown at my face, thank you very much.
“What’s wrong, Mag?” Kathy asked sweetly.
Uh-oh. Wrong move, Sis. Kathy hadn’t lived with us since she’d gone off to college in Dublin, and apart from the few months she’d spent here when she was in that wheelchair after the accident, she hadn’t been around long enough to know what I knew about the upset version of Maggie. I braced for a nuclear reaction and got ready to get out of Maggie’s aim to save my life, but stopped mid-step when Maggie flopped onto the empty chair next to Kathy and dropped her head onto her crossed arms on top of the table. When the sobs started, I sat back down next to her, and dared put a hand on her back. Kathy sat on her other side, scooted closer and stroked the back of Maggie’s head.
“He’s a bastard,” Maggie managed to say through her sobs, and even though we’d never had a close brother-sister relationship and had spent most of the time bickering, my brotherly instinct took over and I was ready to kick the arse of whomever had made my little sister cry.
“Who?” Kathy stroked her hair and looked up from Maggie to me with a raised eyebrow. I shrugged. Maggie had never been one to talk much about her private life—at least not with me.
As a guy, I winced at her words, and felt for him. But when big brother David realized what she’d just said, my hands balled up in fists and I wanted to be the one to cut his balls off. Had the guy cheated on my little sister? Oh, he was going to pay for his sleazy move. I would make sure of that.
“What did he do?” I asked, before Kathy had a chance to speak. “You tell me where he lives, and I’ll go make sure your wish comes true.”
Maggie looked up from the table with red-rimmed brown eyes, her make-up smudged on her cheeks and on her face, and gave me a faint smile. She looked so small and defenseless, just like when she was a little girl and someone at school had made her cry. She used to be cute and cuddly before she’d turned into a sulky teenager, and I’d always loved going all big-brother on my little sisters, until they’d stopped letting me.
“As much as I’d love to have the house all to myself, I don’t want you to go to jail.” She shrugged, and looked at her clasped hands on the table. “He’s not worth it.”
Kathy patted her back and Maggie gave her another weak smile. “If you need some girl talk, I’m here for a couple of days, until Colin comes to pick me up on Saturday. We can lock our bedroom door and talk late into the night.”
“You staying?”
Did I hear a little hopeful tone in her voice? Kathy and Maggie had never been close, but then again, after the accident and Declan’s death, us siblings had all gotten closer. In a way, I was pretty sure he’d sort of maneuvered us back to one another from wherever he was now.
“Miss Author of the Year here is having a book signing at Eason.” I gave Kathy a smirk, and she rolled her eyes. I loved teasing her and she knew it was all in jest, so she usually played along.
“Eason? Wow.” Maggie’s eyes grew wide and the cheating bastard was temporarily forgotten. I could only hope she’d open up with Kathy when they were locked in their room tonight. I didn’t like seeing her so sad—I preferred an annoying Maggie to a teary-eyed Maggie.
“I’ll tell all my friends to come buy a copy of your book and you’ll become a best-selling author.” She clapped her hands, then grinned. “It’ll be so cool when reporters show up at our door, looking for childhood stories about you. I have a few in store I’m sure they’d love.”
Kathy covered her eyes with her hands and shook her head. “Your imagination is running a little too fast, Maggie.”
“I could come up with a couple of stories, too.” I nudged Maggie’s shoulder and waggled my eyebrows. She chuckled. “I think we should compare notes, Mag.”
Kathy let out a huff, but she was smiling. In a little more than five minutes, the major Maggie crisis had been averted and luckily no one had gotten hurt in the process. We were definitely getting better.
Chapter 9
Claire
Even though I’d declined his invitation to lunch, David was still polite and nice to me the following days. He never stopped longer than the time needed to say good morning and to check if there were any notes about his classes, but during those two to three minutes he stayed in our office my heart would usually do a crazy reel, causing me to feel a little light-headed until he walked out the door and the scent of his cologne had faded.
Yes, I was crazy. Plain stupid and crazy.
I hadn’t spoken about it with Ciara, knowing she’d give me grief for it, but also because I’d been trying to convince myself it was only a silly crush and I was old enough to get over it. No big deal. Plenty of fish in the sea and all that. Not that I had any intention of going fishing, after the last time I’d ended up with a barracuda in my net.
Even after a couple of weeks working with her, Bossy Susan still thought I was an idiot and never trusted me with anything more than silly works a high-school student could’ve carried out blindfolded. I’d always known this wasn’t my dream job and would only be temporary, until I figured out another way to find the money for the rent and bills, but I’d hoped to feel a little more useful. The big potted plant in the corner of our office was probably more useful to the department than I was. How nice.
Apart from David, most of the other professors barely acknowledged me, unless they needed something to be photocopied or retyped, and there had been a couple of times when I’d been very close to telling them where they could shove those sheets of paper—but had obviously refrained.
When Ciara asked me to hit the town for a girls’ night out on the second Friday night after I started working, I accepted the invitation gratefully. Since that evening when I’d bumped into David at the pub, I’d always declined her invitations for fear of seeing him again and doing something stupid. As long as we were safe inside the university walls, I knew I wouldn’t make a move and risk losing my job, but I couldn’t be sure I’d be able to keep my mouth shut or my hands in my pockets if I met him in a pub, maybe after a couple of drinks, when I wouldn’t be able to control my instincts. And dear Lord, my instincts took the best of me whenever I was around him.
We had a pizza delivered to our place, ate it in front of the TV while watching Ciara’s favorite soap, and an hour later we were all dressed up and ready to go.
This time we took a taxi to the city center, and walked only a few steps to the same pub we’d been that night when I’d first met David. Crap. If I’d known we were coming here, I would’ve declined Ciara’s invitation or asked her to go somewhere else instead. Silly me for not remembering the name of the pub. Well, I could only hope David wasn’t a regular.
As usual, luck wasn’t on my side. Just as we walked toward the counter to grab our drinks before looking for a table, I saw the gorgeous face I’d recognize a mile off across from us. His eyebrows shot up in surprise and a grin split his face. His handsome, to-die-for face.
“David… I mean, Mr. O’Hagan… I mean…” Gosh, I was a mess when he was around.
He chuckled. “David is fine. Besides, we’re not at work now, so there’s no need for fake formalities. I won’t tell Susan that you’ve called me by my birth name.”
“You know each other?” Ciara’s eyes widened, as she stared from me to him.
“He works in my department,” I turned my head toward her and was just about to make the introductions when Ciara cut me off.
“David O’Hagan. You’ve turned into a fine young man indeed.”
David chuckled, and I stared dumbfounded at the scene playing in front of me. Ciara knew David? Why hadn’t she said anything before?
“Ciara Fahey?” He narrowed his eyes, and she grinned. “You haven’t changed a bit; I bet you’re still the same troublesome girl you were back in the day.”
Ciara giggled and I felt a sudden twinge of jealousy, knowing that Ciara and David were friends—or had been at some point.
“Well, yes, but that’s what my boyfriend loves about me.” She winked and David laughed, while the jealousy vice squeezed my stomach in its poisonous grip.
“The poor fella. Tell him I feel for him.”
Ciara rolled her eyes and gave him a playful shove, making him laugh. The familiarity and the ease of their interaction made me realize they’d probably been close at some point, and when the idea of them being a couple hit the back of my mind, my stomach twisted and I wanted to vomit. Images of Ciara and David tangled in passionate kisses flashed through my head, and my cheeks flushed with uneasiness.
“So, um… how do you two know each other?” I asked, trying to keep my tone as nonchalant as possible. I couldn’t stand this any longer. It was bad enough that I had a crush on a guy I was working with; I couldn’t have a crush on Ciara’s ex.
“She went to school with one of my sisters. Spent too much time at our place, listening to boy bands and driving us guys crazy.”
Ciara gave him another, more forceful shove. David grinned and my insides melted.
I should really stop loving that grin so much. I should get a grip. He’s just another man, and I don’t want a man right now. Aw, who am I kidding anyway?
“So, where’s the lucky fella? I’d love to meet him.” David looked over Ciara’s shoulder, narrowing his eyes.
“We’re on a girls-only night,” Ciara said with a nonchalant shrug.
“Which actually means he went out with his buddies and she was stuck with me,” I added. Ciara let out an annoyed huff, and David laughed.
“Why don’t you girls join us at our table? Kathy’s in town with her fiancé, and I’m sure she’d love to catch up with you.”
Ciara’s face brightened, and I wished I were smart enough to come up with an excuse to spin on my heels and go home. I couldn’t spend time with David, especially not when he’d shed his professional clothes and looked like a normal, down-to-earth guy I wanted to spend some time with—a lot of time, actually.
“Oooh, I didn’t know your sister was engaged. I’d love to catch up with her.” Ciara clapped her hands and grinned like the Cheshire cat. “We’re in!”
David smiled, and picked up a pint of Guinness I guessed was for him and another more girlie-looking kind of drink, which I hoped was for his sister—but I pretty much knew was for his girlfriend. Because I was sure he had a girlfriend. No guy looking that good and being that easy-going could be single. No one.
After we retrieved our drinks, we followed him through the crowd, and my heart thumped so loud in my ears it nearly drowned out the music playing in the pub. As we reached the table, I saw a blond-haired woman staring at David with a frown, probably wondering who we were and why we were following him. On the other side of the booth, a rather handsome guy with brown curls and the loveliest set of dimples had his arm slung on the back of the seat, and a young woman with long brown hair leaned against him. I was pretty sure she was David’s sister with her fiancé, so that left the blonde who, obviously, had to be David’s girlfriend. Lucky me.