Love with Every Beat

by K. L. Shandwick

Lily continued to stare. “Do you have any idea what it feels like for me to wake up to you?” Swallowing audibly, I said, “I never believed I’d ever get to do this again.” There was a reverent pause before I continued. “You know the saying ‘all my Christmas’ have come at once?’” I whispered, pulling her head gently toward me and kissing her forehead.

  She looked incredulously at me. “Seriously, Lily, I’m never going to let you down again.” Gazing intensely so that she would understand I meant every word.

  Leaning forward, I placed a kiss on her closed mouth. “I love you so fucking much, it hurts.”

  “We need to get out of bed,” I stated sharply, inhaling hard and rolling away from her.

  “It’s still really early, Alfie.”

  Smirking, I slid out the bed, the mattress bouncing with the loss of weight from me standing. My wood was making my boxers tent outwards, and I glanced down at them briefly.

  “My dick doesn’t know the concept of timing, day or night. I’m always hard when I’m with you.”

  “Do you want to shower first?” Lily asked. I nodded and glanced down at my boxers again. “This is kind of painful, and I’ve been struggling with it for most of the night. I’m sorry, but I need to take care of it or I’m not going to get through the day without someone commenting.”

  Lily chuckled, but no one would know if her panties were wet unless they slipped their hand down there, and I’d cut any bastard’s hand off anyone ever went near her again. She nodded head in the direction of the bathroom and smirked and stared at boxers again. “Have fun.”

  Struggling to keep my hands off of Lily, I went to the pool to lie there and wait for her to get ready, wishing I hadn’t bothered when she turned up in his little skimpy bikini. Grabbing her hand when she almost bypassed me,

  “C’mere, I need you right beside me, babe.” We gazed at each other, and our connection was immediate. Lily was turned on, just from our stare.

  Making room on my lounger I pulled her beside me and buried my face in her neck. “Damn, you smell good enough to eat. Are you trying to fucking kill me?” I said and started tickling her ribs.

  Stopping, we stared again; it was something we did automatically when we saw one another. “Alfie, if anything were to happen to you, I would die. A little teasing never killed anyone, did it?” Bending forward I kissed her in a passionate, tongue-probing kiss. Growling deeply, I broke the kiss and inhaled shakily.

  “You are going to be ruined tonight, you know that, right?” I warned into her ear, in a low seductive voice. Lily shivered. Glancing lovingly back at her, then she looked over her shoulder to make sure no one was listening. I grinned wickedly, and she raised her eyebrow.

  Christmas day was great and everyone had a blast. Layla and my Aunt Connie were made most welcome, and I was feeling on top of the fucking world. Everything I wanted was right there.

  We decided to do presents before lunch, because my mom was worried most of the boys would be too drunk to do this sensibly afterwards, with all the wine and beer that was flowing already. Plus, there would be the alcohol and liquors after lunch too.

  Lily’s parents were great hosts and made sure everyone was included in all the festivities. Her dad bought presents for everyone present, and Lennon got emotional when he paid special attention to him. Apparently he grew up without his dad, and Lily’s dad had taken a shine to the guys in her band.

  Thinking he was done, I was surprised when Charlie said my name. We’d had another couple of heart-to-hearts about Lily when she was helping with dinner and setting the table.

  When Charlie addressed me in front of the room, I was preparing my, ‘I know you didn’t know I was coming,’ speech, and he did something that blew me away.

  Staring at me seriously, her dad said, “Alfie, your gift is extra special I’ve been keeping a gift for you for the longest time.” Charlie got out of his chair and took Lily’s hand.

  “This girl is the most precious gift God has ever given me. This will be my gift to you, when you can demonstrate to me you deserve her. Meanwhile, you will have to be content with a week in Hawaii, when you both have time on your calendars.”

  Everyone in the room sat staring, first at her dad, then at me. Eventually, they were looking at Lily. Charlie had set me a challenge—I would have Lily if I treated her properly and showed everyone I deserved her.

  In shock that he stated it so publicly, I ran my fingers through my hair and cleared my throat while I thought of what to say.

  “You have no idea what you just did for me. You have given me the best reason in the world to be a better man.”

  Turning to lock eyes with Lily, I continued to talk to her dad as if no one else was watching,

  “I want to be everything that Lily could ever need and want in life. I will work every single day to make sure that I achieve that. We have both struggled long and hard to get to where we are now, to finally commit to our relationship, and we have an idea there isn’t a clear path to our final destination as a couple yet. I believe we can achieve everything and us, somewhere down the line.”

  Charlie stood up and shook hands with me, and Lily flung her arms around him, telling him thank you and choking back tears. Lily obviously got her emotional genes from her mom, because she was a blubbering mess, and Layla was dabbing the corner of her eye with the sleeve of her dress.

  The gifts I gave everyone went down well, even the pretend one I got for Jack. I presented him with a small dark-haired blow up doll and a bottle of Jack Daniel’s with the comment, “For when Rosie’s not around and you can’t sleep alone.”

  Jack took it in good humor and chuckled at my ingenuity, but I was serious, he wasn’t sleeping beside my girl anymore.

  Lily was speechless when I gave her the gift I had been making since we’d parted. I never gave up on Lily, and this was my way of showing her that. Handing her a box containing a tablet, she looked puzzled because I already knew she had an iPad. When I opened it and turned it on, I touched the gallery icon to open it. As Lily scrolled the gallery, it began to play a slide show I had made for her.

  The tablet was loaded with all the photographs I had taken on tour, specific pictures that proved if she had ever needed evidence of how much I had missed her, it was right there in her hands.

  As the slide show played, Lily watched my photographic account of memories from all the places I had been to during my tour. Standing by the Trevi Fountain in Rome. The Eiffel Tower in Paris. Buckingham Palace in London. The Opera House in Sydney. Times Square in New York, and many others besides.

  What Lily was looking at was pictures of me, standing alone with my arm held out, unsmiling and looking miserable because she wasn’t with me.

  Once she was about ten pictures in, I spoke to her, “Lily, I couldn’t take you with me on that journey, and I understand why, but every moment was a moment I only wanted to share with you. Without you, it was just another tourist attraction. So with that in mind, I filled my days when we weren’t traveling by taking pictures of the places we passed through to catalogue all the sights that weren’t that memorable, because you weren’t with me. Next time we’ll go together. Maybe we can replace these pictures one by one with pictures containing the both of us, because I really want us to build happy memories for when we’re old and grey. Look, see my arm? It was out waiting for you to join me. Next time, it will be cradling you, and I’ll be smiling, because you are with me, and you love me as much as I love you.”

  All faces in the room stared silently as Lily continues to scroll the pictures. It felt too public to be doing his, but fuck if I cared that I looked like a pussy and was all heart and flowers—this was about Lily and me.

  Eventually, Lily touched my face and kissed my cheek. “I can’t wait to see those places and replace these pictures, because I really do love you.” It was all the answer I needed, and I hugged her placing a soft kiss on her closed lips.

  Lily gave me a guitar that once belonged to Ronnie Wood, and I nearly cre
amed my pants. How she managed that in a couple of days, God only knew, but I was stoked at her generosity and her resourcefulness to pull something like that in the time she did. Dipping my head I whispered, “I’m saving the rest for when we’re alone if that’s okay.”

  “Me too.” She smiled, raised her eyebrow, and winked. I almost threw her over my shoulder and carried her to bed, but we hadn’t even had lunch yet, and I thought damn, it’s going to be a long day.

  Charlie was relentless with me and had yet another chat, but he seemed to understand a lot of what was happening to me at the time when I met Lily. He said he was proud that I helped Kara ad Poppy, and that I did what I had to do, but finished by saying he was only sad that it was his daughter who got caught up in an emotional mess with me as the result of that.

  Holly and Brett arrived, then Mandy and Neil, so we had a very full house, and they were all full of fun. Glancing over at Layla and my aunt, they were clearly accepted and accepting of everyone. Catching Layla looking at me, she smiled and mouthed, “I love them.”

  Although, I never doubted she would, but to have her blessing was a relief as well. Feeling like in a day, I had gone from a couple of people who mattered to me, but were distant, but was now accepted into a warm, loving network of people, who cared about Lily and therefore cared about me.

  Mandy rigged up the karaoke machine from Lily’s place, and I sang, ‘I won’t let you go,’ by James Morrison—not particularly to Lily, but then everything I did seemed to have a message from me to Lily.

  When Lily sang, ‘Ordinary Love’ by U2, watching her was so amazing, and a slow smile spread just before she sang the line, ‘are we tough enough for ordinary love.’ Obviously I began nodding as if she were asking me and mouthed, “You bet we are, baby.”

  On the last word of the song, I was out of my chair stalking across the room. I scooped her into his arms and kissed her in an intense moment between us.

  Henry arrived to take Layla and our Aunt Connie home and as Lily closed the door, I slid my arm around her waist and pulled her close to me kissing her head.

  “I really want to be alone with you now.”

  Licking her lips, her eyes flicked to my lips, and she nodded slowly. “I think I’d like that too.”

  Everyone was distracted. “I think now would be a good time to sneak off unnoticed,” she whispered. Grinning, I led her by the hand in the direction of our room.

  Grabbing a bottle of champagne on the way past, I tucked it under my arm. “In case we need lubrication.” I winked, wiggling my eyebrows wickedly.

  Smirking, she scooted inside the bedroom door so that I could get in the room quickly. I closed the door and leaned against it. The palms of my hands were flat against the door behind my back, the bottle of champagne still under my arm.

  Hearing the click as the door closed, I drew a deep breath. This was it. This is what I had waited for. My breath caught in my throat. “Damn, now that we’re here, I want someone to kick me in the balls, so that I can check this isn’t yet another dream.”

  Snickering Lily asked, “Another one?” as she raised her eyebrow.

  “Honey, the times I’ve dreamed about holding you in my arms, sure it was real, only to wake up and feel a deep despair at the fact we weren’t together.”

  Lily chewed her lip, and I felt bad for saying that out loud.

  Making her-self comfortable on the bed Lily asked, “Are you going to come over here?”

  “Not sure.” I was still pressed against the door—me, Alfie Black—and I was shit scared to go with my feelings because I didn’t think I’d make it out alive this time if something went wrong.

  Her smile slowly disappeared. “You’re not sure? What aren’t you sure about Alfie, us?”

  Exhaled raggedly, I answered honestly, “Yes and no.”

  Lily rose to her feet and hugged herself, pacing in front of me.

  “You’re not sure you want to do this again?” Immediately the words hit the air between us; my eyes locked onto her, and we both reeled from the connection.

  “Oh, I want to do it all right. I want nothing more in the world. I’m just not sure that if I do, and you change your mind again, I’ll ever recover from this.”

  Lily’s face was full of concern for me, and I kept wondering if she really was the stronger person in this relationship. She repeatedly fought me off, repeatedly walked away, and now she was the one soothing me. “I really want this to work, Alfie. That’s why I took things slowly these past couple of days. Remember you did that before. I was the one lacking in self-restraint.”

  Walking over to me, she pulled the champagne bottle out of my arm and placed it on the wicker nightstand. Turning back to me she reached around and took my hands that were plastered to the door and placed them in hers.

  Smiling lovingly she said, “Alfie, I really want to be with you. I love you with everything that I am. I need you to believe that. It isn’t going to be easy with our careers. I am oh, so, willing to do this, because there is no one in the whole of this planet who makes me feel the way you do.” Stretching up on tiptoes, she brushed her lips to mine slowly.

  Wrapping my arms around her, I pulled her hard against me.

  “Lily, I love you with every fucking bone in my body. You make me tremble when I’m near you. Just the sight of you fills my heart with so much love, I sometimes wonder if it will burst. You are my sun and my rain, light and shade, pleasure and pain. If we do this, promise me you won’t just bolt at the first hint that something isn’t right.”

  Staring at me for a long moment, Lily then drew her breath. “I promise I’ll speak to you. I promise that I will hear what you tell me, as long as you can promise me honesty, Alfie. I promise to let you grow, as long as you do the same for me. I don’t want either of us to stifle the growth of the other.”

  Lily put her head against my chest, and I had a feeling of home, but this wasn’t going to be easy sailing.

  “I’m sorry if I’m being a pussy.” She smirked, and I felt a bit unsure about how she felt about me expressing my feelings to her like that.

  Chapter 53 – Girl Who Has It All

  “Are you showering first or am I?” Lily’s change of subject stunned me momentarily. When I recovered I frowned, “Doesn’t the shower fit the both of us?”

  Smirking mischievously she said, “Well I have still to give you your Christmas gifts. So I was going to fix things here for that while you showered.”

  In the shower, I was trying to take my time, but even after I’d shaved I’d been in there less than five minutes. I dried and wrapped the towel around me, not wanting to presume anything with her.

  “Your turn,” I smiled. Lily was worse than me, she was back in three minutes, wrapped in a small beach wrap. She was the best Christmas gift I had ever had, and I couldn’t wait to unwrap her. Swiping the remote control, I chose MTV to watch. I was lying back on the bed when Lily came back from the shower, and I switched the television channel to a radio station instead.

  Emeli Sande was singing ‘Read all about it.’ And the song is about not being afraid, and I started thinking I definitely am a bit of a hippy with all the signs I seemed to be picking up about us.

  “C’mere, I have something for you.” Lily sat on the bed beside me, and I bounced, the mattress sagging a little as I adjusted myself, placing my hand on the bed to right myself, then handing her the small gift box

  “Do you know how hard it is to buy something for a girl who has it all?”

  “Alfie the gift you gave me was amazing.”

  Smirking, I was glad my cheesy mood about the photographs paid off. “Good, then you won’t mind these.” Chuckling I nodded at the small pile between us.

  Lily tore the paper off the first gift and found a small red velvet box inside. She swallowed hard, and I knew what she was thinking, “Don’t worry it isn’t an engagement ring.”

  Cracking the box lid open she found two platinum plectrums inside. One with the letter L and one with
an A engraved on it.

  “I know it’s cheesy, but we like cheese now and again, right? When we’re apart, and we’re playing on stage, having these in our hands will keep us thinking about each other. The A is for you, the L is mine.” I didn’t give Lily any time to think about that, us not being together.

  Pushing the next gift at her I said, “This one is next.” Opening the box she saw a private jet voucher. “This is for when you’re missing me too much. You call the private airline company, and they will bring you to me, even if it is only for a few hours. I bought one of those for me too. I know we have the record label jet, but this way it’s extra security that we’re never that far from each other.”

  Next, I slid an envelope at her. “This is the second to last one, I really didn’t have much time to put a lot of thought into this, forty-eight hours is a lot of pressure to get this just right.” Lily smiled and touched my face, and I wanted to forget the gifts and just kiss her, but I kept going.

  “I think you’re doing pretty fantastic up to now.” She smiled and I nodded at the envelope.

  She slipped my finger under the end of the envelope and tore it open, her fingers slightly trembling. Lily’s eyes were glancing between me and the envelope. It was two tickets for the cinema. Lily smiled waved the tickets at me. “Cool, we can use these over the holidays.” Smirking at her I took her hand to explain something,

  “Lily, these tickets may just be cinema tickets to you, but for me, they are a reminder of the one night we spent just trying to be friends at my house.”

  Watching her, I asked, “Do you remember when you came over to watch movies with me? I couldn’t believe you came that night, I thought it was my second chance with you. Being able to watch you after you fell asleep in my arms gave me such an incredible feeling, Lily. I just wanted to hug you so tightly and never let you go. I had never seen anyone so beautiful.”

  Lily’s head nodded slowly. “I have a vivid memory of that night.”

  Holding her gaze, my eyes widened. “You do?”

  Working a swallow and tucking her hair behind her ear, she said,