Lost in the Mist of Time

by Karen Michelle Nutt

  Dougray was trying to be patient. He was not insensitive to the fact that Aislinn would be nervous, maybe even a little fearful, since this would be her first time. He would be gentle with her and hopefully she would come to trust him enough to know that he wanted their marriage to last as long as she was willing to be with him.

  He had already heard an earful from Abbot Kirwan of his evil ways. He was relieved when Dubhdara came to his rescue and whisked the man away. But still, the sooner he could convince Aislinn to marry him in the eyes of the Lord and have it sanctioned by the church, the better it would be for everyone concerned.

  He made his way to what would be their room and where Aislinn would now be waiting. A delightful shiver of wanting ran through him, as he thought of how she would feel beneath his touch.

  He took a deep breath and opened the door to his future.

  He was promptly greeted with a flying object that crashed against the hard stone right above his right ear. Another object came flying at him and he ducked just in time for it to shatter just inches from his head. His anger flared.

  It was their wedding night! He would not put up with this unwarranted temper tantrum.

  Aislinn started in on the insults. “You filthy scum!” The vase flew from her hand hitting him on the shoulder before it fell to the floor in a million pieces. The impact stunned him more than it actually hurt, but his hesitation made her pause in her brutal attack. That’s when Dougray made his move. He nearly leaped through the air and tackled her to the floor. As soon as she was able to catch her breath, she started struggling to be free. “Let go of me.”

  “I will if you promise me that ye will be civilized.”

  “Civilized!” she screeched. “You want civilized when you act like a cave man?” She saw by his blank look that he was trying to decipher her meaning, but she didn’t stop. “You man; me woman. Well, buster, that’s right. I’m woman with substance and I will not be dominated!”

  “The whole keep can hear ye.” He tried to calm her. “I’m not your property.”

  “Nay, but I’m your husband.”

  “Ooh! Don’t remind me. It wasn’t my choice. You forced me.”

  “Ye made the rules,” he gently reminded her. “Ye said that ye would marry the man who could best ye.”

  “You didn’t say you were going to join in.” “I didn’t say that I wasn’t either.”

  “You tricked me.”

  “Outsmarted ye,” he corrected.

  She was silent as her eyes smoldered him with her burnt anger. She knew full well that he was right and she was acting like a sore loser, but she couldn’t help it. She had thought that she could get out of marrying anyone. She was going back where she belonged and she wanted to be single when she managed the feat. “Get off me. You’re breaking my back.”

  Dougray released her and she scrambled away. They glared at each other from across the room.

  Dougray’s eyes had wandered down the length of her, and for the first time, he realized the nightgown that she wore was nearly transparent.

  “What are you looking at?” Aislinn snapped noticing the lazy seductive look in his eyes. She glanced down at her attire and almost died of embarrassment. She might as well have just stood there completely naked for him, for all the material seemed to hide. She hurried over to the bed and pulled the robe around her. Dougray couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of her sudden shyness.

  “Dear lady, ye are not hiding anything that I have not seen on a woman before.”

  She sliced him with her glare. “Well, you may have seen it on others, but you haven’t seen me and that’s the way it’s going to be.”

  He lifted one dark brow thinking it probably wasn’t the best time to remind her that he had held her in his arms at the lake, and with less on. “And what if I decide to exercise my rights?”

  “You’d force a woman to your will?” She knew she was mocking him, but couldn’t seem to stop herself.

  “Don’t tempt me to teach ye a lesson, Aislinn.” There was a silken thread of warning in his voice as he took a step toward her.

  “I don’t want to be here.” She threw up her hands and backed away from him. “I don’t want to be married. I want to go home, Dougray. You promised me that you would send me home.” The last of her words were spoken in desperation as she sat down on the edge of the bed, folding her arms protectively against her.

  There was a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach for he had not realized how deep her despair had run. “Do ye find it that terrible here then?”

  “Yes,” she answered at first until she noticed the tired sadness that passed over his features. “I mean no. Oh, Dougray, don’t you understand?”

  “Ye could make Dunhaven yer home, if ye only try.”

  “How? I’m either stuck within these walls like a prisoner or followed around with no privacy.”

  “I have explained all that to ye. It is not….”

  “Not safe. Yes, yes. So you’ve told me. Well that’s not all that’s wrong.

  I had a job. I’m a writer and I like that people want to read what I’ve written. Who is going to read a romance novel here?”

  “I know ye miss your writing, but ye could still tell stories to the children. They enjoy them so well and ye have the campfire stories. I could set aside….”

  She interrupted him with a groan. “Oh never mind. You simply don’t get it.” She threw herself face down upon the bed. “Just leave me alone,” came her muffled voice.

  Dougray was at a loss what to do to comfort her. Neala had prophesied that she was to come to this time, but to what purpose? Surely it wasn’t just to make her miserable. He wanted to go to her, but he knew that she would not welcome him. She had made it perfectly clear that she didn’t even want him as a husband. His face was bleak with sorrow that he could not reach her heart. Without another word, he quietly left the room. At least he could grant her one of her wishes.

  Dougray left the festivities behind and wandered through the glen, his purpose to speak to Neala. He knew that her fire was always lit far into the night.

  The old woman looked up and he could tell by her face that she had been expecting him.

  “Trouble with yer lass so soon?” The old woman handed Dougray a cup of spirits.

  “Sometimes I want to strangle her until there is no life left in her, and in the same breath, I want to hold her near my heart and keep her safe. Bah!” He moved away from the old woman thoroughly disgusted.

  “Ye know what yer problem is?”

  He looked at Neala, his eyes flashing impatience. “Dar Dia! Enlighten me please.”

  “Ye’ve fallen fer her, ye did. Ye love her.” “I do not.”

  The old woman laughed. “Sure ye don’t. If that were true, ye wouldn’t be so vexed.”

  “Woman, ye irritate me almost as much as she does. Why do I bother to come to ye for advice?”

  “Because, ye know I will nah lie to ye.”

  Dougray opened his mouth to make another retort but what could he say? She was right. He trusted her to tell him the truth. “What am I to do with her? She has refused my bed.” Saying the words out loud sent a disturbing chord through him. She had denied him his right. “I should go to her and just take her and be done with it.”

  “And what would that accomplish, eh?”

  A sudden icy contempt was evident in his eyes. “I would satisfied my hunger for her, and damn it, she would know what it was to be touched by a man.”

  Her eyes narrowed and her lips pinched together in disgust. “Then be gone from my sight and do yer deed if that is what ye wish to accomplish.”

  He clenched his jaw shut. How he hated the way that she could make him feel like a child who needed to be reprimanded.

  Neala nodded her head as a smile touched her worn lips. “I see that ye still stand here.”

  “Dar Dia!” He ran his hand through his hair. “Is it asking so much that she give us a chance?”

  “She is f
rightened of the commitment ye have forced upon her, but ye can surely convince her otherwise. Ye are young, strong and…” She cackled. “…ye still could turn a young lass’ head, aye?”

  His eyes flashed a familiar display of impatience. “Is there a point to all this?”

  Her sigh was long. “Do I need to spell it out fer ye then? Very well. Romance her, let her see that ye want her to share a life with ye at Dunhaven and all else will fall into place.”

  His perturbed expression was replaced with a determination. “I will think on yer words, old woman, but now…” He handed her his cup. “…I think that I’m going to retire. Thank ye for yer words and yer frankness.”

  The old woman nodded her head. “If ye want to be knowing, she be in love with ye too.”

  His mouth twisted wryly in disbelief. “That is to be seen.”

  The next day, Dougray decided to make amends with Aislinn. If a little courting needed to be done, then so be it. He would romance his wife until she was willing to give herself freely to him.

  He had been up all night trying to think of something that would please her, and he had finally come up with the perfect plan that would also ensure that they had time alone.

  He entered the chambers expecting to find her fast asleep, for the sun had not fully risen in the sky. What greeted him was an empty bed, the fire all but embers and Aislinn missing. Fear struck him first, letting his imagination take over. He went as far as to believe that she had been so frightened of him that she ran away into the night. Then as he began to think logically, he realized that she was not a witless fool, and if she planned to leave him, that she would most likely seek sanctuary with her uncle. Well he wouldn’t have it. He would find Aengus Hennessy and demand that he see his niece sent back to him. He was her husband now, and by God, he would not let her go that easily. He turned on his heels so quickly that he had not seen the silent figure standing behind him.

  He ended up plowing right into the very woman he sought. She would have fallen to the ground but Dougray’s strong hand quickly came to the rescue and steadied her. “Ye’re up and about rather early.” His voice sounded terse, more than he intended it too.

  She ignored his comment and quickly moved away. “Where were you heading in such hurry? You nearly killed me.”

  “I apologize. I didn’t see ye behind me.”

  “I’ll give you warning next time.”

  “You were in the library, I see.” He nodded toward the book she was holding.

  “I couldn’t sleep.” She lifted the book that she held, confirming her whereabouts and eliminating any suspicions he might have harbored.

  “Ye really do like to read.”

  “Why do you seem so surprised? You’d think by now you would have realized this.”

  “Hmm.” This was not how he had planned to confront her this morning. He took a deep breath and started over. “Am I able to persuade ye to read yer book later?”

  “Why?” She was on guard for she was unsure of what he might suggest. He was after all her husband now. Her husband, it seemed so strange to say, but it was true and she had to face the reality of it.

  After her long night alone, where she had time to contemplate over her options, she realized that she had only two choices here: She could either beg her uncle to take her away, or she could try and make this marriage work.

  Frankly the idea of living with her uncle, as kind as she found him, was not an appealing prospect simply because she would not have as much freedom, which was almost laughable, since she was guarded at all times.

  If she chose to stay with Dougray, she could continue on the way she had been. The only drawback would be that she would be expected to share the man’s bed and…. Well now that she saw him this morning, looking so incredibly handsome, maybe that wouldn’t be so awful. She was attracted to him. She could do no worse for a husband, she supposed. He was a decent man after all.

  “I want to show you something.” He saw her eyes nervously glance over his shoulder and he followed her gaze to the bed. A smile tugged at his lips. “That’s not what I had in mind, though I could be easily persuaded.” His right brow lifted slightly, waiting for her response.

  Her cheeks flushed making her look so sweet, innocent and at the same time captivating. “It’s a tempting offer, but I will have to decline.” She bit her lower lip waiting, actually hoping that he might insist. She didn’t want to have to make the decision. She wanted him to just take her in his arms and make love to her, get it over and be done with it. She knew she wasn’t making any sense, but none of this did. She wasn’t supposed to be here in this century. She wasn’t supposed to be married to a man who drove her to a point of where she wanted to beat the living daylights out of him, and at the same time wanted to lose her self-control and let passion be her guide.

  “Then perhaps ye might let me tempt ye with another activity?” he offered with a sensual smile upon his lips. “Would you like to go riding?”

  If only he could have known what she was thinking, he would have been more than happy to oblige. He wanted nothing more than to touch her smooth skin and feel her warm body beneath his. Unfortunately, possessing the ability of the sixth sense was not one of his strong qualities and he interpreted her expression as purely apprehension of being alone with him. “Ye are not opposed to my company as well?” he inquired.

  She cleared her throat. “No.”

  “Where are yer thoughts, Aislinn? Ye seem to be elsewhere.”

  She had to calm her nerves and force herself to smile not wanting to take any chances that he might change his mind. Dougray’s heart nearly stopped for she was even more beautiful when a smile softened her lips. “To escape these four walls for a day? Why I could…well I could kiss you, Dougray.”

  “I would not be opposed to such an idea,” he teased thinking she would never act upon it. But she fooled him, taking a quick step forward and brushing her lips across his cheek. “When do we leave?”

  A smile ruffled his mouth. He had hopes that this outing might bring her around to his thinking. “Now, if ye’d like.”

  It was wonderful to be so free and without a worry. She admired the beautiful wildflowers and the forest of oak trees that still covered the land making everything look so different from what she had viewed in her century. Dougray walked up beside her. “What are ye thinking?”

  She turned and smiled at him, an actual genuine smile for she was enjoying the afternoon and the company. “Just admiring everything. It is such a shame that all these beautiful ancient trees will one day be gone.” “I will stop it from happening.”

  “How? You are just one person, Dougray. How do you plan on stopping the inevitable?”

  “We could try?”

  “We?” She couldn’t help but sound skeptical.

  “I then.” He had a blanket set out and they both sat down. “Are you going to fight the English all by yourself?”

  “I could unite the clans and we could….” He saw her forlorn expression and knew that she knew more. “It will never happen, will it?”

  “No.”

  They were silent while Dougray unwrapped the bundle he had brought with him. He didn’t want to talk about Ireland’s trouble for now. He wanted to concentrate on them. That was the whole purpose of taking her away from the keep. They would have a nice lunch and long ride back.

  He noticed that her lovely dark eyes watched him with open interest. She was at least somewhat curious. “Aislinn, what do ye expect from me?”

  Her brows furrowed together and her voice held a tinge of caution. “What do you mean?”

  “We are married and I would want ye to be comfortable. I ask ye again, what do ye want from me?”

  Want? She looked at him. He was so incredibly arrogant, strong, determined, but he was also good, decent and handsome as well. His silvery gray eyes mesmerized her, and his lips, how she remembered those lips. They were firm and oh so sensual. She would swear that he had the monopoly on virility. She frown
ed. He was dangerous in that aspect, very dangerous, and he would end up breaking her heart. “I want friendship,” she blurted out immediately looking away before he would read the desire in her eyes.

  He knew that he had made her nervous for she was wringing her hands, but still he would not let the subject drop. They had to talk this out. “Don’t ye want more?” His fingers lightly touched hers causing panic to riot within her. “Aislinn, I would be gentle….”

  “No!” she nearly shouted at him, as she pulled her hand away. The awkward silence that followed seemed to be more deafening. She cleared her throat, trying to maintain the fragile control on her senses. “I only want your friendship, Dougray. Please understand and not demand more.”

  “Friendship is what ye be wanting then?” There was a slight edge to his reply and she couldn’t blame him. “Aislinn?” Her dark eyes touched him and it took all his will power not to pull her to him and end the torture for both of them. “Friendship is grand to be sure.” He gave an exaggerated sigh, like he was remembering something in particular, something so wonderful that his smile seemed to light up his whole face. “But tenderness behind closed doors can be heavenly.”

  She remained silent for she could not refute his statement, seeing that she had never experienced it. She again turned away, her face clouding with uneasiness. She needed to think of a way to distract his thoughts to a safer ground.

  While she was preoccupied, he decided to take advantage of the moment.

  After all she had responded to his kisses before. As a matter of fact, if memory served him right, she had even asked him to kiss her. That was a start to intimacy and he didn’t see a reason not to try and recapture that moment again.

  His sudden movement caught her off guard, and she fell backwards to the ground with him on top of her. She opened her mouth to reprimand him but his lips had covered hers, making speech impossible. She hit at him and struggled to be free, but he continued to be insistent with his caress. Hot, moist and all so tantalizing that she nearly gave in to the moment…almost, until sanity sunk in. She was not going to have her first time with a man be out in an open field for anyone to come along and see them. She gave him another powerful shove and finally he seemed to realize that she was not going to respond in the fashion that he had hoped for.