Feeling the Moment

by Belden, P. J.

  “Sure why not. If you can find me you can stay,” I said over my shoulder as I walked out.

  When I finally turned my attention out to the room, I froze. In the middle of what looked like a tornado’s destruction stood a smiling Felicia.

  “Enjoy all the time you want with him now,” she sneered then laughed as she walked out.

  This week had been a bear. Now I’m running on such little sleep, this caused aggravated tears to fill my eyes. Taking a deep calming breath, I start in on the mess. After a few minutes, River called from the bathroom.

  Setting down my cleaner, I took off my gloves and walked into the bathroom. My eyes stayed focused down to the floor. Bending down, I helped lift him up.

  “What are you still doing in here? You should be heading home.”

  “Still cleaning,” I replied shortly.

  “What the fuck,” he said shocked.

  I didn’t stop, kept pulling him forward to his bed. Once he was seated, I went back grabbed a new pair of gloves and went back to cleaning. It was a disaster fucking area. I was about half way through when the doctor came in with Felicia in tow. Her smile was big when she saw me still there.

  After a few minutes, the doctor left. I was just setting a stack of folded towels and wash cloths on the table, turned around to grab a polisher for the counter off my cart when Felicia walked past and knocked them all off the table. Her laughter echoed in the hall as she left. The tears that popped into my eyes before were burning again, begging to fall. Blinking rapidly, I refolded the towels and wash cloths. Set them back on the table. Then I started on the rest of the bathroom once the room was cleaned.

  By the time I was finished with the room, River was being released. I didn’t say two words to him, even though he kept talking to me. It wasn’t because I was mad at him because I wasn’t. It was because I was afraid if I talked, I’d break down. Imagine my surprise when I walked out into the lobby of the hospital to see him sitting there.

  “Waiting on your ride?”

  He didn’t answer me. River just grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug. Allowing the comfort only for a few seconds I pulled away.

  “We’re still in the hospital,” I said as I dug out my phone.

  “Well then let’s get back to your place so I can hold you and tell you how sorry I am.”

  “It’s not your fault, River. I told you that you have to find me.”

  “Come on. Give an injured man a break,” he pouts.

  “You don’t need to walk that far though.”

  “I’ll be fine. Let’s go.”

  “Fine, but if you can’t make it I’m leaving you.”

  “Okay.”

  We walked out the door together. My mind wasn’t even firing properly. This was my safe haven I was taking him to. I was just so damn exhausted, I just didn’t care. The only noise between us were that of his crutches rattling as he walked. Not sure really what to say to him, still afraid to speak. So I just kept my mouth shut the whole way to my house. He was breathing heavy by the time we got into the elevator to head up to my floor. River was practically standing on top of me in the elevator. The heat from his body both relaxed me and amped up my nerves. Once we got to the door, I could see how tired he was. This made me feel bad for making him walk all this way. I should have stuck to my guns and not let him follow me home.

  Once the door was unlocked, I let him go in first. Shutting the door, I locked all the dead bolts then the three chains before heading into the living room where he stood. Making sure to keep my distance, I kept my head down as I spoke.

  “Make yourself at home. I’m tired and I have to work in less than eight hours.”

  Before I could make a hasty exit, he grabbed my hand and pulled me into an embrace. This time, I just didn’t have it in me to back away from him. Instead, I wrapped my arms around him. My whole body ached. This was by far the toughest week that I’ve had. After a few minutes, I pulled back.

  “I’m sorry, Kim. I should have listened to you. She put you through hell because of me.”

  “No, she’s just never liked me. Not sure anyone really does.”

  “We’ve already established that I do,” he smirked.

  “I’m sorry, but I really need to get some sleep. Feel free to get some food if you’d like. Television, movies, whatever you need is in the living room. The bathroom is the first door down the hall on the left.”

  “Is it okay if I lay down too?”

  Looking at him then, I saw how tired he looked. “Yes of course I’m sorry. Umm, you can take my room. You wouldn’t be comfortable on the couch,” I said as I walked down the hall to my room.

  I’m not going to be comfortable on my couch either, but he’s just had surgery. He needs the bed more than I do. He was right behind me.

  “Wow, this is a nice room.” I heard him say as I headed into the master bath.

  “Yeah, I’m quite fond of it,” I hollered from the bathroom.

  After I washed my hands, brushed my teeth and took my hair out of the bun, I changed into some pajamas and headed out of the bathroom. He stared at me for a moment before walking toward me.

  “You are more beautiful than I ever imagined,” he breathed before claiming my lips in a heated kiss.

  His hands buried in my hair as he held my face tightly to his. My hands rested on his hips. Our tongues danced with each other for a little while before I broke the kiss. He was panting and licked his lips.

  “Damn, I can’t get over how incredible it is to kiss you.”

  I blushed, pulled myself away to grab a pillow from the bed. “Is this enough pillows for you?”

  “You know you have a king bed. You could sleep in here with me. You’d be more comfortable.”

  “I’ve broke all my rules this week, all on you, I think I’ll stick this one out.”

  “You need sleep and I know you’re not going to be comfortable on the couch either. Just sleep in here. Please or I’ll keep you awake.”

  “Ugh! Fine,” I gave in tossing my pillow back on the bed.

  As I pulled back the blanket, I saw him take off his shirt. My heart sped up and I had to force myself to look away and climb in bed. I lay with my back toward him, so I wasn’t tempted. It wasn’t long before I fell asleep.

  Waking some time later feeling way too warm, I turned my head to find River cuddled close into me, his arm and leg wrapped around me. With him laying at this angle, I could also feel his erection pressing into my ass. Carefully, I wiggled out from under him. I checked the clock and saw that it was time for me to get up anyway. In my haste to go to bed, I hadn’t set my alarm. Quickly, I jumped into the shower. Once I was finished, I walked out into my bedroom grabbed my underwear, slipping them on before I dropped my towel and put on my bra. Bending over, I grabbed my towel and heard a groan.

  “Oh my God! I forgot you were here,” I practically screamed.

  “Mmm, I’m glad you did. Have to say, I told you so. Your ass is perfect. Your profession should be a tent maker,” he said as he looked down and back up at me.

  My eyes followed his and sure enough my sheets were tented. “I…I need to get ready for work.”

  Quickly I grabbed my uniform and rushed into the bathroom. Once I had my uniform on and my hair up in a tight bun, I finally exited the room. He was still lying there in bed, smiling at me.

  “I won’t be back until in the morning. I’m working the E. R. this weekend, so I should get off at my normal time. If I could please ask you to stay out of my office, I’d really appreciate it.”

  “Of course. I’d never dream of invading your privacy.”

  “Enjoy your evening. Prop your leg as much as possible and try not to walk on it too much.”

  He smiled. “You were listening to the doctor.”

  I shrugged as I finished putting on my shoes. “You will be spending time with me for two weeks. Needed to make sure I didn’t kill you.”

  “I can’t wait to get away.”

  I smiled as
I walked over grabbed my keys and my phone. I yelled goodbye as I hurried out the door. Once outside, I took a deep breath. This was going to be so much harder than I thought. In all my life, I’ve never had someone this close to me before. It was really messing with my head. My mind raced with my past as I walked into the hospital. Clocking in, I grabbed my cart. While I was restocking, I could hear a conversation between nurses in the break room. At first I didn’t pay attention until they said River’s name.

  “Yeah, several of the other nurses heard her having sex with him.”

  “Wow, so much for no fraternizing with the patients. I guess that only counts for us not her.”

  “I’d like to get my hands on River Monroe. He’s a dream.”

  “I guess she’s spending the weekend at his house, so she can care for him.”

  I stopped listening and went straight into the bustling E. R. The busy night helped keep my thoughts off River and whatever he may or may not have done with the she devil. It was as I was sitting outside, that I got a text from River.

  River: Do you eat breakfast or supper when you get home?

  Me: Why?

  River: I was going to try and have something ready for you when you get here.

  Me: Normally supper, but it doesn’t matter. I can take care of myself.

  River: Are you okay?

  I stopped responding to the texts. If I were to answer right now, I’d tell him to get out of my apartment and stay the hell away from me. I needed to cool down. As I headed back inside, I got back to work quickly. I loved working the E. R. because it was always busy and different, which made the time go so much faster.

  Glancing at the time, there was just an hour left. My body was ready to go home. This past week as made me feel like I’m eighty years old. Sheryl, the day shift supervisor for maintenance, headed toward me. My stomach turned the closer she got.

  “Kim, I’m glad I caught you before you left. Peggy just called and can’t come in this morning, but she’ll take your third shift if you work this one for her.” Before I could even answer she’s walking away saying, “Thank you Kim for being so flexible. You’ll be on the surgical floor.”

  Saying goodnight to the night shift nurses, I headed back to the maintenance closet to refill my cart with everything. I pushed it to the service elevators and up to the surgical floor. My eyes already wanted to shut. Once I had my sheet of rooms that needed cleaned from the charge nurse, I tried to force myself awake. This was going to be one hell of a day.

  Chapter Three

  By the time lunch time rolled around, I had to drag myself outside. Walking down the street to the nearest food shop, I grabbed a bite to eat. While I sat at my table waiting for my order, I rested my head on my table. The table was cold against my forehead and I welcomed the chill it sent down my spine. When my eyes started to drift close, I sat up. Pulling out my phone, it was time to distract myself. There were several messages from River.

  River: Kim talk to me, please.

  River: When will you be home? I took a nap so I’m awake when you get home.

  River: Where are you at? It’s after eight.

  River: Where the hell are you! Are you okay?

  River: I’m freaking out here. I can’t leave your apartment because I don’t have keys. Please tell me you’re okay.

  There were several more along those same lines. I forgot to tell him that I was working over. Of course, it wasn’t normal that anyone was at home waiting on me either. Just as I was about to reply, my food was set in front of me and I was suddenly starved. Hurriedly, I ate my food like I was ten years old and I wasn’t sure I was going to eat again. By the time, I finished I had to hurry back to work.

  If I thought for one minute that my day was half over, boy I’d been way wrong. The weekend nurses seemed to fill in where Felicia left off. There were several rooms I had to clean twice, some even three times. To say it was a hell day is a complete understatement. I had just pushed my cart into the maintenance closet as Peggy walked in.

  “You’re still here?” She asked with a smirk.

  “Yeah, swing didn’t show,” I grumbled.

  At this hospital, there is a swing person. Basically they work for four hours at a time to allow for the maintenance to maintain decent hours. It saved the hospital money in the long run. All a swing’s job included was to clean emergency spills that couldn’t wait for the regular maintenance member to come in. Believe it or not it did help us.

  Peggy didn’t stay to chat or even apologize for sticking me with that shift. Something told me it was all a set up. They were all friends with Felicia. Today, I just didn’t care. Exhaustion was way past how I felt right now. As I walked home, I thought about calling the Chief of Staff, but he’s related to Peggy so I’m sure there’d be no help there. I’ll figure something out on vacation. After working for twenty-four hours, I just wanted my bed.

  I was only a block away from the hospital when I felt something hit my back. Turning around, Felicia stood behind me. On the ground at my feet was a rotten tomato.

  “What the hell?”

  “Have a good weekend?” She sneered as she chucked something and hit me in the face.

  The smell alone had me throwing up. Her laughter could be heard between my gags.

  “Stay away from River. He’s mine!”

  When I looked up, she was gone. As I turned to walk back home, the smell kept hitting me so I walked into the gas station and into their bathroom. Using half their container of soap and a crap ton of their paper towels, I left with a red face and welt. At least I wasn’t gagging on the smell anymore. Tears burned my eyes. My life now was actually worse sometimes than my life on the streets.

  By the time I was in my apartment, I was just drained. Turning, I began to lock all the locks and put the chains in place. Immediately, I stripped out of my shirt and headed toward my bathroom. Just as I rounded the corner, I was engulfed in a strong embrace.

  “Damn it Kim, I’ve been so worried.”

  “I had to work. I was so busy the whole time,” I mumbled into his chest.

  “You should have called me. I was going out of my mind,” he pulled back looking at me. “What happened to your face?”

  Pulling out of his embrace, “I’m going to go soak in the bath. Sorry to have worried you.”

  Quickly, I went to my bathroom and started my bath, poured in my relaxing bubbles, and quickly undressed and let my hair down. Climbing back in the tub, the hot water burned slightly as I lowered myself in, but it was quickly forgotten as the ache in my body began to ebb away.

  Resting my head on the back of the tub, my tears began to slip down my temples. Though I made no noise, my body shook with the force of the silent tears. I stayed in there until I started to doze off. Pulling myself out of the water, I slipped on my robe and walked out to the bedroom.

  River sat at the end of the bed with his head in his hands. I walked around and laid down. Soon I felt the bed shift and River’s arm came around my waist. He kissed my shoulder repeatedly for a moment before he finally broke the silence.

  “Are you hungry?”

  “Yes,” I mumbled.

  “I’ve got supper in there. Would you like some?”

  “I don’t want to move. My feet hurt, my back hurts, my everything hurts,” I whine for the first time in my life.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  By the time he came back in, I was half asleep. The smell of food had me opening my eyes and my stomach growling loudly.

  “Here you go. Eat up.”

  Pushing myself up to a seated position, I looked at the food before me. Steak, potatoes, fried cabbage and biscuits, my mouth watered.

  “Wow, thank you,” I said as I dug in. “You didn’t have to do this.”

  “I know. I wanted to,” he said as he started to massage my feet.

  I moaned at both the massage and the delicious food. My eye lids were getting heavy as he moved up to my legs. Finishing my food, I set the plate on the side t
able. Moaning again as he worked a sore muscle.

  “Did you have sex with Felicia?” I blurted.

  “What? No!”

  “When I first got to work some nurses were talking in the break room and said that nurses heard you having sex with her.”

  “She was having sex, but it wasn’t with me. It was the patient next door to my room.”

  “Well, she feels you belong to her.”

  “Is that what happened to your face?”

  “I don’t know what she was throwing at me, but the one that hit my back was a rotten tomato. Whatever hit my face made me sick. Thankfully there was a gas station nearby and I scrubbed it, a lot. She told me to stay away from you. That you were hers.”

  “You’re not going to listen to her, are you?”

  He was now working my thighs. My body was humming. “I think she’s the reason I had to work twenty-four hours.”

  “You didn’t answer my question,” he breathed, moving higher.

  “I don’t know,” I said honestly.

  He crawls over me, hovering above me. “I hope you don’t.” He leans down and takes my mouth in a searing kiss.

  Every thrust of his tongue was followed by a thrust of his hips. My body grew hotter with each thrust. My hands moved up and down his finely sculpted chest. We both moaned as our hips ground into each other’s. One of River’s hands moved to my belt and started to untie it. I broke the kiss.

  “No, stop please.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I can’t do this,” I mumbled pushing him off me and climbed out of the bed.

  “What’s wrong?” He repeated.

  I moved out into the living room and paced the space near the window. River hobbled into the living room a few moments later.

  “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

  “You don’t know anything about me. I don’t know much about you. How could we possibly go that far already?”

  He slowly moved toward me. “Because we like each other. Because you’ve been driving me insane for a month. Because we both want to?” He asked the last one.