Rough Love

by Laura Morgan

  The only way Tobin and I could truly move forward would be for him to take Dad’s place as my guardian, and I wasn’t about to let that happen without it being on my terms. I knew that without my father’s detachment from me we were stuck in limbo, but I didn’t care. I would’ve happily kept us there for as long as it took for me to feel ready to give myself to Tobin naturally, and without an audience. I vowed then and there to make sure that my father, brothers, and would-be-lover, all realised at long last that despite my quieter nature, I was not one to be messed with, nor would I wilt under the pressure they’d decided to collectively put me under.

  I realised I was still standing at the fridge, staring into it in a daze, so grabbed the whole packs of the breakfast ingredients, not just one portion’s worth I’d taken before, and set about making them a feast. Those five men whom I loved and hated in equal parts that fine autumn morning would have a full breakfast ready for them when they awoke. I was going to do what the respected woman did. I was going to turn the other cheek and crack on. I knew they’d be surprised, and that was exactly what I was going for.

  “What are you doing?” Tobin’s voice came from the doorway and I turned from the stove to look at him. He was at the kitchen door, leaning against the jamb groggily, as though he’d just woken up. My eyes widened as I took him in. He was wearing nothing but grey tracksuit trousers and a pair of socks, showing off his inked up arms and toned body again. There was no looking away from every curve of muscle and line of art that looked almost radiant in the bright morning light.

  That aching throb came back from deep inside of me and I mentally shushed the purr that was rising in my throat. It was not the time to get all girly and let him have that which I’d clung onto for dear life the night before.

  “I’m making you all breakfast. Are the others awake yet?” I asked, pouring him a mug of coffee, and he stepped closer.

  “No, just me.”

  I turned back to flip the popping bacon and stirred the pan of baked beans, before moving sideways and buttering the toast, while he sauntered forwards. I assumed he would take a seat at the huge table, but instead Tobin shocked me by pinning me to the counter from behind. His powerful body was pressed against mine, and regardless of anything I’d tried to tell myself, I knew I wanted him.

  I jumped and dropped the butter knife onto the breadboard with a yelp of surprise. Tobin laughed. This one was far from the cruel laugh he’d given me the night before though. This was a deep, gravelly sound, and I imagined it being the same laugh he’d given me as we rode to the new clubhouse together.

  He planted soft kisses on my neck and collar, pulling the top of my cardigan away so he could get to the soft flesh beneath and I found myself panting. “I still want you, Dahlia. As much as ever. In fact, maybe more,” he murmured, mesmerising me with each syllable. “I’ll give you some time to come around and I want you to know I’m sorry for how things happened last night. It was too fast, too forceful, and I’ll never do it again. You can trust me.”

  His hands reached down and skimmed my breasts before cupping me between the thighs. I froze in shock, but wasn’t scared that time. His hard-on pressed into my back and I found myself closing my eyes. I remembered exactly what it looked like, and wondered how it would feel to touch and even how it might taste. “You’re very hot down here, I hope that’s all for me?” he groaned. Tobin then rubbed his fingers across the seam of my jeans and I bucked as he pressed against my swollen clit. I wanted to believe him. To trust him like he’d told me to.

  “If what you’re saying is true and you really do want me, I’ll never let another man touch me as long as I live, Tobin. All of this is yours, just as long as you care for me the way you’ve promised,” I replied, grinding against him, and I swear he actually growled in response to my prowess. “This won’t be an arranged marriage, or me being coerced into your bed because my father made you promises. I want romance and passion, excitement and love. Can you give me those things?” I asked, turning to face him, and Tobin’s stunning blue eyes peered down into mine. They seemed full of all of those things, and I couldn’t help but swoon.

  “Yeah, baby. I sure can,” he replied with a stunning smile.

  His kisses then overwhelmed every one of my senses. Bringing my hands to his still stubbly face, I kissed him back, my body curling into his. My hips then ignored my inner commands to distance themselves from that hard probe between Tobin’s thighs and pushed against him despite knowing that it was still in search of a place to bury itself.

  I knew I was far from ready. Images of him pressing himself into me so forcefully the night before sprang into my mind and had me backing off in an instant.

  “Don’t ever try and force me again, promise me,” I said, stepping to the side and away from his hot body. I focussed on the food, finishing off frying the last of the eggs, before sliding them into the dish keeping them all warm in the oven alongside the other ready items, while Tobin watched me with a scowl.

  When I finally turned to look at him properly again he stepped forward, but instead of kissing me he just wrapped me in his arms and held on so tightly that I could barely breathe.

  “That was never what I wanted, or how I expected it to go down. In all honesty, I thought that you’d just go for it. I’m not used to rejection and I guess I was arrogant enough to assume you would feel honoured that I had chosen to come and have my wicked way with you.” He laughed, seeming embarrassed, and I appreciated his honesty.

  I went to respond, but he shushed me, seemingly needing to say his bit before he’d let me speak. “Your father insisted your brothers be there to make sure it went smoothly, but I think it was more than that. I think he needed to control the situation, but neither of us thought for an instant that you’d say no. I was so very wrong, and all of that bravado was a front, Dahlia. That’s why I walked away in the end. I couldn’t force you, not when what I really want is for us to be real and happy together. Last night isn’t the way to begin something this special,” he told me with a shy smile.

  It felt as though he was ranting, but I was so glad to hear every word of it, and I believed him.

  “Real, happy, special?” I murmured, repeating his words to ensure they sunk in.

  “Yes. I promise not to try and force you ever again. Please let me do this properly?” he stroked my dark auburn hair away from my face, peering down at me solemnly.

  “I guess I can do that,” I conceded. My voice was quiet against him and I felt him relax as my understanding of his actions from the night before registered.

  We then held onto each other for a long time. Just listening to his heart beating and his lungs filling with air brought me comfort, and in that moment I realised that the only person who’d ever held me that way before was my father.

  The transition was so clear I felt as though I could document every second of it. I finally understood what Tobin had meant by needing to have that moment of impact to signify my release from my father’s protective bubble and the switch into his. I knew my dad would always be there for me, that he would love me and take care of whatever I needed, but the torch for my safety and care had already been passed. Whether I was on board yet or not.

  Regardless of us not having sealed the deal the night before, I guessed my words to my father had probably been enough to sever the once so strong ties we had to each other and I couldn’t help but feel sad. I had to trust that Tobin would fill those boots, though. I believed he would guide me through the next chapter in my life and take care of me, just like my father once had, only different. Perhaps even better.

  An awkward cough then broke through the silence and I jumped. Tobin didn’t release me right away though. He waited a few heartbeats, which I suspected was a show of dominance, but was glad that he was ready to show my family he was now the one holding me close and comforting me when I’d needed it.

  When I looked across at the four men hovering by the door, there was no hiding my red eyes and puffy cheeks. I hadn�
�t cried, but I had buried myself in Tobin’s embrace and had let myself get lost there. I was feeling emotional and I guess it showed.

  Nico, Thomas, and Brad could only look down at the floor, seemingly embarrassed. But not my father, he stared me right in the eye and smiled that same smile he’d always worn with me. I sighed in relief of his warm gaze, but didn’t step forward to embrace him like I would’ve done every day of life leading up until the night before. For starters, Tobin still had his hands on my waist and didn’t seem ready to let me go. Second, it no longer felt right. The cord had evidently already been cut.

  Instead, I ushered for them to take a seat while I grabbed the coffee jug and poured them their much-needed caffeine fixes, along with cups of juice and water. It wasn’t long before Tobin took his seat at my father’s side and I began plating up their surprise breakfast. My brothers thanked me and tucked in, while my father watched me serve Tobin, a smile on his somehow older-looking face.

  When I took a seat next to my new beau my father finally began eating, as though he’d been waiting out of respect for me, but I couldn’t be sure. He’d never done anything of the sort before. After his first bite, he groaned in delight, and then gave me a thumbs up, seconded by each of the other men at the table.

  “She cooks, who knew?” Brad asked, pouring himself more juice, and I grinned. I was glad the banter was on its way back, and before long all five of my favourite men were laughing and shouting loudly, throwing insults at one another from across the table.

  I replenished their plates until everything was gone, and then each of them sat back with seemingly full bellies and contented smiles. I hadn’t asked them for their verdicts. In fact, while we’d sat there I’d gone back to my old, quiet self. After serving them with a smile and a sense of purpose, I watched them as I slowly made my way though the small mound of food in front of me. It wasn’t the olden days where women were submissive servants of their husbands and family, but I sure as hell was enjoying having those five men all to myself. I liked taking care of them and had to admit, being responsible for their happy faces gave me a kick I couldn’t ever describe.

  I understood then how things had been changed between us, but knew we’d probably never speak of the night before ever again, and that was fine by me. As long as there wasn’t a repeat of that demeaning treatment, I was happy to carry on regardless. And, even if I wasn’t, what other choice did I have?

  “I’m really proud of you, Dahlia,” my dad said, breaking my reverie, and catching me completely off guard. His words silenced the chatter around us in a heartbeat. “You’ve become the woman I always dreamed you’d be, the woman your mum once was. You’ll make a wonderful wife and mother, but most importantly of all, you make us better men for knowing and loving you.”

  I wanted to cry. His words were so unexpected and powerful that despite the wedge that had been driven between us, I knew I would remember them until the day I died. I swallowed the lump in my throat and stood. Climbing into his lap was oddly so foreign and immature to me after everything that’d happened, so instead I went to my father’s side, kissed his cheek lightly, and thanked him. I knew in that moment that the little girl I once was had well and truly gone forever, but didn’t care. I’d finally become a woman, and it felt good to have matured in their eyes at last.

  Things would undoubtedly be different back home for me from that moment on too, but I knew I’d still be worth far more than any other wife or girlfriend of the club. I would be the respected and privileged old lady at the top. I knew I’d most likely end up feared and even hated by some of the other girls who hung on the arms of the club members because of it, but couldn’t care any less. They’d all been fine with me when I was the shy, quiet, President’s daughter sitting in the corner with a book. I hadn’t been a threat. Going forward though, I would be Tobin’s girlfriend, and I knew it would change my entire life.

  I was grateful when Tobin later suggested to my dad and brothers that they head back home without us. He and I needed some time alone to figure things out, and while I was scared he might try and push things between us again, I had to trust he’d been telling me the truth about taking things slower.

  “Garret knows nothing happened last night, but he’s promised to let you go anyway, and that’s a big step for him,” Tobin told me once my family had left and we were alone. I had to agree. After all our years of closeness, I thought he would’ve had a harder time letting go, too. “He’s very set in his ways, but at least he saw for himself how our connection is there, and that he needn’t force anything between us. He couldn’t let you go without knowing someone else was there to take care of you, but I promised them all that I’d be the perfect gentleman and step up to the plate, and I meant it. We’ll get there in our own time.” He looked so genuine and relaxed, not fidgeting or avoiding my gaze like I’d expect if he were lying, so I trusted him.

  “It feels so strange being let out of the almighty grip he’s always had on me. I guess I should feel glad and free, but I don’t. I miss it,” I admitted as we set about clearing up the kitchen. He nodded. Tobin seemed to understand exactly how torn up I was without me having to really say much more and I appreciated that he didn’t try to make me explain myself to him.

  We soon got stuck in with the cleaning, neither of us saying anything more, and I was surprised to find him doing more than his fair share of the housework and tidying. I’d never taken him for the tidy sort, but then again I had to remind myself that he and I barely knew each other really.

  We spent the next few hours straightening the huge bar area and clearing the bedrooms, stripping the beds and cleaning up after my brothers. Tobin only sat down once the house and bar was all in order again, and I had to laugh. I even wondered if perhaps he had OCD when it came to keeping things clean, but didn’t dare ask him in case he took offence.

  “Can I cook for you this time?” he asked when I’d finished wiping down the windowsills and had closed the windows and curtains. A chill had crept in with the twilight, so I wanted to allow some warmth to spread back through the vast and incredibly clean house. I nodded, smiling broadly, and Tobin seemed delighted.

  After a wonderful dinner of pasta carbonara that he’d made from scratch, we relaxed in front of the television and chatted quietly while watching some awful reality TV show he seemed to be a fan of.

  Our conversation was light and although I felt more relaxed with him, I was glad when bedtime came around. The lack of sleep from the night before caught up on me, and after saying goodnight I headed up to bed for some much needed rest.

  At first I was worried, listening for the door to creak open again, but there was nothing. I eventually fell asleep and slept surprisingly soundly.

  In what felt like the blink of an eye, I then awoke to find bright sunlight streaming in late the next morning. There hadn’t been so much as a peep from my intended and I hated that I was a little disappointed. There was a part of me that’d wanted him to come to my room, as silly as that sounds. I wanted him to still want me like he had the night before.

  I got dressed and went downstairs, where I found him sat cross-legged on the floor of the bar. Tobin was building some shelving units and looked really good in his black tracksuit bottoms and white sleeveless vest. I offered to help, not thinking he’d actually accept my proposal, but he slid me the instructions.

  “Can you read Swedish?” he joked, and I shook my head, laughing.

  We then spent the next few hours getting to grips with the flat-packed units and after a while we’d perfected our technique. As a couple, we put together numerous bookshelves and a coffee table and it felt good to focus on something. We made a good team, and I was surprised to feel utterly at ease with that realisation.

  Chapter Four

  “How about we get ready and I’ll take you into town for dinner?” Tobin asked me later that afternoon. We’d just finished putting away the new furniture, and had binned the boxes and plastic wrap. The bar was spotless again and l
ooked great with the new additions, plus I was ready for something to eat after just snacking all day while we’d been working. I wanted to see what lay beyond the new clubhouse’s walls.

  I also had the exciting realisation that Tobin had just asked me out on a date.

  “I’d like that very much,” I replied with a smile. I could feel myself blushing at the very idea of going out with the gorgeous man, but I was also glad he hadn’t planned on keeping us holed up day and night while waiting for me to calm down enough to let him woo me. There was an exhilarating level of freedom being at the new clubhouse and I was starting to like it more and more. The trip was the first time I’d ever been alone with someone other than a member of my family and while it still felt strange and scary without at least one of my brothers watching over me, being there with Tobin was also turning out to be pretty exciting and enjoyable.

  We headed out around seven o’clock that evening. I had no choice other than to wear the jeans and t-shirt I’d brought with me two nights before as I hadn’t packed anything else, so just had to go with what I had to hand. I’d had no idea at the time that we would be staying longer than one night, or that I might need a nicer outfit. However, Tobin didn’t seem bothered by my skinny jeans and boots combo in the slightest. If anything, I caught him eyeing me up when I came downstairs to meet him by the doorway. His expression made me wonder if he liked my slim legs being kept hidden in their black denim rather than on show underneath a skimpy skirt. I began to hope he preferred the natural look to the dolled up style most of the girls who visited the club seemed to think was necessary to hook themselves a biker boyfriend. It wasn’t that I minded that look. In fact, there were times when I’d envied those women for rocking it with such confidence. Don’t get me wrong, I’d tried, but had failed miserably. Whenever I’d sneaked into Dita’s closet when I was younger and tried on her clothes, I’d look awkward and about as sexy as a seal in a tutu.